Former 4/pol/ack here.
I am originally from 4/b/ since 2009. I gradually moved then to /r9k/. After that, I read Anarchist FAQ and it turned me into generic left-wing liberal. I was real life activist for a bit, but I saw the liberal cancer with my own eyes, witnessed it, the lengths they go for being muslim apologists, and it pissed me off, because they called me sexist/racist for disagreeing. This turned me into right-wing politics and back into 4chan but 4/pol/ this time. I kept reading hours and hours, day upon day posting, and from a general anti-SJW stance I became one of the alt-right memekids. I swallowed their propaganda whole and started unironically believing the cultural marxist theory, jewish subversion, hitler did nothing wrong etc. I ALMOST got involved with far-right politics in my country. Luckily, I didn't get too involved.
I found Holla Forums because I was referred to here by 4/pol/ sometimes, and browsed 8/pol/, but I was turned away by how they are so much more edgy than 4/pol/, but eventually, I browsed Holla Forums because you guys are notorious and always mentioned on all the Holla Forums's no matter what chan. Surprising to me, you guys weren't actually that ideological, and actually wrote posts that read like something rational.
I just have to say I am sorry for being so gullible. I ask you to not laugh at me, I feel absolutely defeated in being a useful idiot to reactionary politics for at least past 3 years, actively speaking. My core beliefs that have not changed throughout my life is that I have always generally been against government tyranny, government corruption and unethical behavior of big corporations. Just that in left idpol I believed this shit comes because of what the right does, and in the right idpol I believed this shit comes because of what the left does. Truth is, this shit comes from a class of elites shilling whatever idpol they can to save their profits.
I don't know if I can call myself left-wing, but I can certainly say I am fucking sick and tired of politics. I originally joined chan culture because of funny images, but all the other shit on the side drew me into a vortex.
Sorrow story aside, is there some generic advice what a person like me should do in this situation, or how to analyse being such a retard? Don't mistake me for some suicidal virgin kiddo, I am actually a full-time graphic designer and am pretty motivated on starting a family and progressing in career and such, but this realization on me being so "easily brainwashable" has been emotionally tolling me lately.