I often ponder

I always have too much faith in her.

That was what the post I saved that image from read.

WOW NERU

Making me look bad.

Likely story.

...

nigger hours!

NAME

god bless the homeless

racism hours

reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/60agpg/tifu_by_letting_a_homeless_man_use_my_bathroom/

god bless the homeless

...

I'm scared to click*

I messed up my right ear again.

I never learn.

It was also very arousing.

OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

He make da poopoo in the sinksink

lmaooooooooo

roflkek

I laffed

o shit i forgot to narrate shit

but i don't wanna talk into a cmaera

help im awkward

same

designated sink

print out a pic of bomb chan, cut it out and tape it behind your cam so it pops up behind it

talk to bomb chan

I'll let you shave my ass if i can piss on you.

I am not Anthony.

You say that but I know its a lie.

ill prod

whatappen

I'll let you shave my ass if i can piss on you.

...

nasty

I'll film it again some day.

music

I'm back from the store Emmers

nani sore

wtf that was like 3 days ago

LOL

I know you're just parroting but its gross

awww fuck man
I'm a little paranoid about hearing loss from loud volumes, I'm gonna be getting a set of rated earplugs before ever going to a concert lol

dad is still getting his cigs

been 10 years now

It was yesterday.

...

What? Really?

o

I play an instrument and I wear earplugs while playing and at concerts

If your job is making music, hearing is just a tiny bit important

I guess time flies when you're having fun.

...

...

Ya

its not like ill have them on all through it
but if things get too loud I can have them on and reduce the volume

I haven't

seriously?
I thought I was the only one

Good

I think there are special earbuds you can use that don't muffle the sound with the volume, so you can still enjoy the music

high fidelity ones

hello friends

Rude

Had fun?

Yep, I have a pair I used when I had my acoustic drumset

They're 10/10

..that hasn't gone.

what brand?

hi nezi
nice mokou

French2hu is the new fad

momiji is cute

They're buried around here somewhere, I'd have to go looking for them

I'm currently playing a REAL instrument WITHOUT earplugs.

I'm Hardcore.

I was going all over town looking for a Nintendo Switch to get you
But when I finally got one and opened it up, the screen was all scratched.

...

fuck
both of them have white hair and start with mo

it is

ah nvm then

FUCK THE SWITCH

until Metroid Prime 4 comes out that is

I can only think of a couple of times I went with this brand and it didn't work as intended. A literal couple of times.

Very solid, reliable brand, would recommend, 10/10

yeah they're pretty similar
momiji has a cute little hat ^^

do you think post-apocalypse earth will have abandoned cities with overgrown green and wildlife just all humans died or do you think it will be all covered in radioactive dust that kills everything it touched because trump got mad putin rekt him on twitter and smashed that red button

But I have one already

Oh, I was responding to Yan, not Ian or whoever

vocaroo.com/i/s1VKAzWvJK8c

So fucking killer

Oh hey look it's that sign from Bloodborne that Miyazaki came up with all on his own without any outside influence

can i reroll my starting character i dont like this one

...

how high are you

oh oke

both
depends on how many years have passed

LOL

I know this is bait but it still made me made

What an iPad with buttons?

henlo

hi daddy

Trash Dove is a white supremacist meme and you shouldn't use it

What makes you think i'm on drugs ?

Zelda box

...

i want green

...

Aoh. Well now I really have to take it back to the store then.

Guess I'll get you Skyrim and Minecraft to go with it.

ayy bb

the joke is trash dove is a pepe tier shit meme posted by the same people who think pepe is a white supremacist meme because it was used by a parody twitter account and Holla Forums

sup

~100-200 years

You're having trouble talking
and seem to be unnaturally giddy

Oh, I know all about the supremacist garbage forced meme.

I just wasn't sure if you were serious or not.

but will the switch allow for hdt physics enhanced female warrior tits and boobs and male dongs in skyrim

The spirit of rock and roll was flowing through my body.

what if zombie apocalypse

I don't want those

My room mate made food and it smells bad and I can smell it but I'm also pretty sure my room smells bad.

So i'm going to smoke and burn some incense.

hbu?

No Grim pls ofc I wasn't srs.

I am almost never srs.

if an nvidia shield can do it, so can the switch

kek

depends if they ever run out of energy or not

Well you can't have me either so I guess you're out of luck

ahue

*iPad

Fixed that for you

I didn't even have earplugs in.

hdt is resource intensive man

but worth

*pat*

painted a wall. am tired

am pat

CHECK OUT THIS CRAZY MOTHERFUCKER

Now you're just not giving it enough credit

Yeah I remember when I was 19 and I did that for a living.

do people who make youtube shit have scripts and shit they read
idk im bad at words irl

Don't be such a Nintoddler

What else should I play ?

Yes.

One would expect so.

You should take apublic speaking class.

GRRRRRRRRRR
METROID IS MY BABY

your dick

nice
help

no classes are scary there are people

That is how you overcome your fear

Telling another man to go jackoff is pretty straight.

it was for my uncle

u r a babby lmao

But I would I want you?

I think it's pretty neutral

telling a guy to jack off whlie thinking of him is pretty gay tho

dont do that

I'm also scared of bullets.

Did he at least do family wrestling with you afterwards and play your secret childhood game that you weren't supposed to tell daddy about?

Just befriend any potential school shooters in your class. They will spare you.

everything is NOT daijoubu

this is flawless
thanks

Probably to help you correct that sentence.

no

I'm gonna save my cummies for later.

I know i'm gonna need them in a few hours.

works everytime

I do not want to know

do not ever utter that word to me again

It's daijoubu because I don't care about them and also me too.

What a rip.

Oh yes, please replace my I with why daddy

The wronger it is the better it feels.

its
all
fucked

*why

T H I C C

wow thank :D

...

*Wow, thank you Daddy! :D

YEAH but not me.

...

Literally bigger than her head

triggered

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to trigger your traumatic pants-ripping in middle school where all the kids laughed at you and called you gay baby georgie because they saw your pampers

HAH

YOU ARE THE ROOT

perf

that was the other day

I didn't intend to say that, though.

my left leg

my right penis

The root of what ? EVIL ? ! ?! ?! ?!

my bottom ball

I know, you're intentionally making mistakes so I'll correct you.

Still working on your Grade 7?

Nani sore?

my third nut

CORRUPTION

the teachers give me a hard time

Because you want my attenshins, obviously.

No one knows though so its k

But I would I want that?

Did someone say nigga hours?

You teacher called me today to tell me about how he really worked you over for misbehaving.

*why

Yeah, that.

Probably so we can repeat the same jokes and banter like they were even funny the first time.

But that sounds pretty lame, why would I want to do that?

*I

Maybe it would be too impolite to stop and not passive aggressive enough.

am I using enough buzzwords

But I'm a cunt so wouldn't I strive to do impolite things?

yeah hurts to sit down

Are you?

I don't happen to think you are but that's just my opinion and I'm lenko-tier pants on head retarded.

Daddy knows a special kiss to make it better.

Yes, it's irrefutable.

You should say Cunny instead then.

I refuse to believe that anyone ever actually says that seriously.

oh boy

Pedophiles aren't real people so you're kind of right I guess.

Do all your homework tonight and I'll show you

You say it?

independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/canadian-province-to-give-every-citizen-1320-income-boost-to-overcome-poverty-a7411281.html

I'm not a darwin

xD

Well you can just forget about all that candy and the cool van ride now.

don't talk to me or my son ever again

Are you sure you're not a pedophile?

oh you're alive

You're thinking of my grandpa because it was in the papers when he got caught and then killed himself.

You probably take after him.
It's genetic.

I'm also a tad shocked.

Cunny :x

I'm not attracted to my mom and I don't beat her so I doubt it.

I'm such a cunny hunny xx

What the heck?

But what is a cunny?

*vsauce music*

Well that's what he did and it made him a pedophile and I don't do that so obviously I'm not one.

Well Jesus that got dark pretty fast.

my voice is so awkward
i am so awkward
i cant do this

What are you?

Ah yes, correlation vs causation :^)

Preparing for the Cunny Apocalypse.

A Ted Talk.

Jim Davis likes to say that humor is subjective and no one person truly knows what is funny.

Shall I honk a bikehorn for these wacky jokes?

Do a rimshot but instead of a rimshot make it a rimjob on Scanner.

Jokes on you I don't know what a rimshot is because I'm a nerd who's bad at sports and they don't let special needs kids play sports.

WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE ME?!

...

Nobody can tell me that a dog running from a kitten chasing it isn't funny.

Oh that was you?!

cunnies are scary

What

You're the person here who'd enjoy it the most.

God are you losers still talking about cunnies?
That was like 30 posts ago and it wasn't even that amusing.

honk honk cunny jokes

this is awkward to look at

also my english has so much of a dutch accent

Oi, I've only said it once.

what chems improve my charisma

;-;

Booze

C2H6O

Unless it's Buddy Rich, no

kill yourself

Oh I have no idea who you are I was just saying that to see what would happen.

Grape Mentats, X-Cell, and alcohol.

You remind me of me

I like that

...

You better not be posting if you haven't finished your homework

I feel like grape mentats would probably be something I'd get addicted to just for the flavor. I eat flavored tic-tacs like they are candy.

Most good, so does that mean we can engage in mind-melding now?

the fuck

What are you some kind of nigger

Only if we can go inside of each other's dreams within our dreams

SAY NIGGER

Negroid Prime

Nope, unless some genetic-alchemist has converted me into such.

Well I have realized I was in a dream before and conjured people I wanted to see. What I did next I'm not sharing but it was fun until I woke up abruptly each time. So maybe I'll see you in my dreams...

holy shit I'm neo

This morning when I made toast, one of the pieces fell jelly side down.

I knew then that the Devil was near.

Sounds more like you are Spiderman.

ok

how do you reduce the amount of "um"s

HOLY SHIT I'M NEO

No one even made a hail satan joke because they know it's serious when your toast falls jelly-side down.

I hate this dog

this morning I cuddled and humped my pillow .////.

thwip

Your reflexes will never be as good as they are around this age.

Must be a pretty stinky pillow.

Wanna play strip poker?

he shredded urwaifu

my pillows aren't stinky >.>

sure

Minions

K hop on Disc

Cheese can fortify any meal.

...

is mayonaisse an meal

Probably, if it is on bread.

Because it has calcium?

No, but it goes surprising well with salmon.

If you're starving to death.

...

Good for the bones~

Cuddled and humped your pillow you say?

Puit that shit between two saltines, thus the mayotine becomes your greatest meal.

a) better off getting straight up from milk
b) you don't even need that much calcium

There's little data to suggest just how good it is for your bones.

Well, too late to get milk; I'll get some of that shit tomoz.

an

...

It'd be interesting to know animus' eating habits.

Yes, the mayotine, it defined entire portions of my childhood.

hero

I haven't been eating recently, but I think I feel miles better to get food in me now.

I eat nothing but garbage.

you are what you eat "^)

...

Poutine every meal

If you are what you eat, then I'm an ass.

Did you at least get some veggies in there?

Recently being...

Because?

Pervasive indifference towards my health.

I never liked my fries soggy. And poutine doesn't into ketchup well, which is a must.

Yes, mainly carrots or broccoli.

we can't play it here~?

You sound like you need some gator tendies.

...

You eat ass?

What would it take for you to be less nihilistic towards your meal choices?

You're kidding.

Why you gotta call it like that. They're tenders, or strips. Why you gotta make it meme.

You must be using some pretty horrendous gravy if it's making your fries more soggy than ketchup would.

also
Really?

No? I liked both. Eat a couple mayotines, couple little carrots, drink some gatorade everything was fine.

see

...

I don't think there's a simple solution.

I eat all the ass, my dude.

naisu

me irl

Because I've legit heard someone say tendies before I got on the internet and I just decided to mix it into that to see what you'd say. And then you did respond to it.

Poutine sits in gravy. Ketchup, when used correctly, is momentarily applied to the crispy exterior of the fry, before consumption. Seems like the gravy ruins what could be perfectly good cheese fries.

Perhaps it's because I'm only half Canadian.

And your eating habits these days?

To change your thinking? Not really. That takes time and belief that what you're giving up is worth the reward. Which is scientifically and objectively is, but good luck telling your stupid mammal brain that.

*pet*

its even got gravy made with the chicken juices
might have to add a bit of bisto though, my dads lass doesnt have the best taste in gravy granules

Not that great, but I don't eat very often. Like, once, twice a day sometimes. Other day I just sort of had a couple apples and called it a day.

Human tolerance and capacity for memes peaks around 17 years old.

What? You put gravy on poutine the same way you'd put ketchup on fries.
You don't cook it in the gravy and you don't let it sit around with the gravy and cheese curds on it...

oh no its too edgy

Same.

Yeah I'll just not bother.

...

...

I imagine this is due to some terrible disease which renders you powerless to change.

Even then, gravy seems like such a bland addition to fries. I've literally had gravy with my fries to appease others. Sugary, tangy ketchup just seems better, if available as an alternative.

And that's how you'll choose to spend your prime?

I caught up on SU today.

Lapis is so edgy, but it was still nice to see her laugh.

I'll live.

Oh you too.

Nigga what kinda ketchup do you get that you have to refer to it like it's the second coming?

same

The one he cleans off Grim's nipples.

...

Nope, just sometimes feel like being a pig, and other times feel like keeping it light. Like the rest of my life, it craves order, but thrives in chaotic randomness.

All the faces Chitose has and I don't have one to properly react to that.

Bedtime, nini

But you could live better by being smarter. So can any of us, really. You're not going to get more out of being fit than if you decided at it now. In a few years, you reach peak muscle capacity. After that, peak marathon running age. Then it's all downhill from there, as your reflexes go, you gain weight quicker, and any hereditary conditions you've noticed in your older relatives begin to surface.

Classic Heinz.

...

You do it cuz it feels good. Duh.
I'm just the friendly reminder you are a persistent organism with trappings and pitfalls, and not chaotic randomness personified.

Yeah but I don't care.

Kyel

Why would anyone subject themselves to that?

Why not just dump a cup of sugar on your fries instead?

...

People do that with sweet potato fries.

this was literally upsetting to read.

What if you did? If you have, what happens when you did? Objectively speaking, due to your height, you are at less risk for heart disease, cancer and other things directly tied to growth hormone production. But don't you think you'd have more fun being in shape?

It's about the appropriate amount of ketchup.

Flavoured mayonaise is fine too.

I need a barf bag.

careful of your edge there, test-kun!

Canadians aren't real people anyways.

Meh, feels alright. What I really want to do is sleep for a few days then wake up and not have to sleep for weeks. Too bad life doesn't work that way.

Yeah, but 30% sugar.

I don't like mayo either, to be fair.

You should try it.

Lose the mirror then.

Kanra-chan is only 50% Canadian so he's 50% real

Mayo too spicy.

But how else would I admire my beautiful figure?

Faggots aren't real people either so he's 150% not real.

Hopefully in the dark.
Under a bag.

I can't change who I am!!!

I would, but you know, effort.

Why do you have such trouble admitting your continued choices would be objectively bad. You don't have to do anything about it, but at least you should have it clear in your head what is right.

Tangy and sweet ketchup, atop crispy, deep-fried tendies of potato. I know of no greater snack.

I re-read it.

No.

assholes are unfortunately real

:( p-please, you may overdose on edge! A edgy coma!

pls no bsod

Yeah, but what does that mean?

Why you heff be so mean Squish-chan?

Help me daddy I'm being meme'd.

pls gib cuddles

It was cute. But I would like to see them do some real stories with her and the midget. For example, dealing with her being a rapist.

You exert effort towards many things in a day. But you're not going to change today. Just reminding you, in case you forgot, eating garbage can harm you in the short term too.

...

Everyone poops.

This is Ooble, right?

Are you on mobile?

I do it out of love.

*cuddles gibs*

It means he's a double rainbow I guess.

For who?

:D *cuddle*

Yeah, but what's at the end of the rainbow?

Sorry. It just slipped out.

When isn't that an appropriate response?

That's a secret.

"no."

I don't know I've never been to one
But Punky Brewster said it was a village full of furry little magic creatures.

:DD

girls dont poop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

of course it is, grandpapi. I'm on my laptop because I didn't have the motivation to in2 video games today. I am sleepy.

Why does my stomach turn over every time I see Kanra post

And why am I disappointed when I don't see a (you)

Who serves the best tendies?

Ehh? You're no fun :c

Give me a hint?

What kind of creatures?

Have you done your video thing yet?

Everybody poops. Even Cupcake in his diapers.

Consent is such a fuzzy thing.

Successful conditioning.

No

urgh, full

Boring reply.

...

What does it mean.

Yes I'd forgotten.

Yeah the shit with Jasper seems a bit heavy. It's dumb but I'm kind of curious what happened with Pearl's human crush.

When did you wake up?

yes its super awkward

no!!!!!!!!!! i dont poop or go plbbt

um, like 6am
i left around lunch to drive my little cousin back and didnt get home until 6

You're so mean ;;

I don't wanna watch this...

Show me

This thing then.
It's a Kanra named Glomer.

What would you have said?

meow

I'm not sure. I haven't ordered them in ages, specifically out of shame.

Now you know to feel remorse next time you enjoy life.

I just took a massive shit and named it after you.

*Bark*

:O

Oh I know what I should do, I just don't want to right now. Not the greatest time at the moment, but it'll work out fine. Just gotta get over a hump and then it'll normalize.

*BARK*

Probably nothing. I think the episode was a Lauren Zuke passion project. And the Zuke Duke has been fired.

I probably would have started the cybering.

people from 1999 are starting to turn 18

A what named who?

What do you normally order?

I guess I need to readjust the standards.

fuck you darwin

WHAT?

do you have standards

What is the current standard?

I PRETEND

My little sister is that age.

:(

Fortunately, she's too old for Soto now.

...

She could probably kick Sotos ass too.

I'm not exactly opposed to something like that.

The humps are in your mind, and there will always be new ones. It's human to think we know what we need psychologically, and be completely wrong and too scared to try.

...

Burger with fries, but on a plate instead of a pirate ship.

...

youtube.com/watch?v=RMc4QdDODgY

Stop that.

Cartoons are notorious for their unrealistic standards for burgers.

same

I love that show.

youtube.com/watch?v=7hSW_QQ1oWo
youtube.com/watch?v=7hSW_QQ1oWo
youtube.com/watch?v=7hSW_QQ1oWo

wtf

same tbh but it doesn't seem cool to admit it

Nah I have certain obligations that I'm not going to dive out of until that time comes. Couple months more and everything should be A-Okay.

nan de

What do you get a fancier places?

The mom being voiced by a guy is perfect.

Fuck that. IT's like the only show I watch.

We've established you can logically do something now.

... burger and fries. shuddup.

I had no fucking clue.
And that doesn't seem healthy.

I didn't even say anything :3

Most TV is shit.

Oh yes, but in doing so, it would mess up something else I am already doing. So I wait.

lol
:)

look at me! having fun in video games:

You did well.

*Claps*

You're thinking I'm some kinda manchild. Which am not. Just happens one can prefer a comforting burger and fries, over a steak, even at someone elses' expense.

Have you seen the latest Samurai Jack?

Godspeed.

whyd you go kyle

Saving it for when it's done and I can binge the whole thing.

I'm on the phone.
Might be a bit.

*hugs* ^_^

It's p sugoi.

That seems sarcastic.

ur sugoi

So was your mothers love, but I don't harp your bitch ass when you open your mouth.

#realnigga

r-really?

That doesn't even make sense.

If you had to eat a steak would you put ketchup on it? :3

R-really.

Wutang.

God no. I do love a good steak, and sometimes you should order a steak out of respect to decency.

brbgame

You're white.
From Missouri.

It's time to stop.

I'm from Minnisota technically.
Born in the Wiener Memorial Hospital.

Hah. "Wiener".

You would have been irrefutably a manchild if you put ketchup on your steak.

Good boy, I'm proud of you *pets*

You think I'm joking, but I'm not.

New.

But what if you dip your steak in ketchup to add a tang to it every few pieces?

It's a whopping 16 minutes of me awkwardly driving around saying stuff.

...

...

Kyel

...

islamic twitter is some real fucking shit