Holla Forums plays Spore pt. 2

fuck off, fag

We need to be stronger! more spikes

Yeah, I never should have changed it from evens to odds. It's back to evens.

As you wish.

That's a rad looking penis.

Ironic.

Human dicks are old and overdone. Make it a giant pussy or whatever. It's time to evolve.
Speaking of dicks, I wonder where the benis guy went..

Why thank you.

I replaced his feet claws with better feet claws. It's time to go out into the world.

Any spikes we can throw on?

I would apologize for this, but fuck you. I enslaved a super powerful gorilla to fight for the cock army.

Those are the niggers that fucked us so hard it crashed the game. What's the plan? Fight, flee, Evolve?

That literally looks like the Chad meme made into an animal in Spore. Let's kill it.

With other niggers allies, we can take them on. FIGHT

REVENGENATE THEM

Kill them user, kill them all, then grow a shit load of tentacles to molest the survivors if there are any.

nigga, pls

EXTERMINATE

Vengence is sweet as fuck.

Fight or flee?

FIGHT

Ally

YES.
YES.

DEHUMANIZE YOURSELF AND FACE TO BLOODSHED

Currently taking the Gondolites to the stars aboard the Benis Majoris.

cute

Well, they kick our ass. And also this happened.

I SPAT MY FUCKING DRINK.

Topkek

What could have been
Fucking EA jewish practices and idiot playtester

Which means we need to become more powerful, so invest in weapons.

In order to do so we need to migrate, so I will.

I found these duck fucks. Friend or foe?

Annoying looking faggots, rape them

Friend :)

With the fucking of the Ducks, we have FINALLY attained sentience. We did it boys.

HERE WE GO

This is our last chance to change our creature. Make it count. Evens decide.

It is perfect
Nothing to change

Make that dick hard user, he should stand tall above the lesser beings

Yes

It is done. Any more suggestions?

Remove some of the spikes so they don't clip through the bitching future uniforms.

add a penis and an additional pair of balls at the bottom

Change the eyes to the pure black ones.

Is this adequate? Anything else?

heh

holy shit that's great, he's literally gonna shred some pussy

It doesn't seem to like the change, but it is done. Anything else?

hahaha wtf

God dammit

I'm taking one more suggestion and then we are moving forward.

benis out of ten.

Put the wings on the tip.
It will look like hair.

Fuck, that's stupid.

it does look bad, tbh

abort, put wings back where they were

Put the horns on the tip, they'll look like cum

Good. The people have spoken. I replaced them with bad ass bird wings.

umm… That's the best that's gonna look

looks fine, cheering for bird penis, now evolve into a real human bean

Good enough

Good lord what's happened here?

Oh by the way here is some stuff from the civ stage I am still working on. Still not quite happy with it, but I have a few ideas.

We don't have any hands.

who need hands anyway

check'd

Alright, a bitchin' creature needs a bitchin' outfit. What does he need?

Those are some nice numbers user. I guess they'll have to grab them by the balls.

post several pictures showing all the tabs, tbh

Bottom left as pubic hair

Here is all of our options.

put "beace was never an opdion :DDD" under the tank

Make sholder dicks out of the hats

get some real
WE
going on with those masks.

That's pretty good. That will be difficult with the creation limit, but I can always put it in the description.

That doesn't look very good.

Sure?

Use pauldrons to protect the benis shaft

heh

Good

Alright, that's what I'm talking about.

Armored benis :—————DDDDDDD

Add masks in the spiky testicles to further confuse our enemies

We ran out of points to spend in armor creation, so we are moving on.

Alright, what's our first order of business?

slaughter the neighboring tribe before they can do anything

Benises need fruit to survive.

this
we are not conquerors
we are destroyers

DESTROY
GATHER FRUITS
FUCK THE OTHER PENISES

Also, I think is Space Age you can befriend the OP species, but we shouldn't.

DESTROY THEM ALL

By the way, since we were herbivores turned desecrators, we ended up being neutral.

that is because you fucked up and befriended other animals
all your fault

WE MUST GO AGGRESSIVE

UNACCEPTABLE
Go and slaughter the other tribes now to fix this

I told you, you should've switched to carnivore when you could.
You know what to do.

We've been a herbivore since we started the cell stage. I didn't choose that shit.

And there are no other tribes yet, just us. There IS a nearby animal nest. Tame or destroy?

DESTROY

destroy. And taming won't do shit anyway because herbivore.

If you get two more aggressive cards which should be easy since all you have to do is destroy everything you will get the knight arch-type in the space stage.

A challenger has arrived.

Also, we don't have any feet so our guys are slow as SHIT.

They look great targets for a gangrape, kill them all.

our speed will be how fast we will fuck them up

If they have an ass, by God we will ram it.

Um…
What's the plan now?

His smile and specie: gone

kill harder, but get some food first.

get better weapons next time

GO BACK IN TIME
REVENGE FROM A HISTORY THAT NEVER HAPPENED

Fine, get a shitload of fruit, BUT DON'T GET COZY WITH ENEMIES

Food, breeding and weapons

FUCK I HATE THEM

This is what happens when you're a neutral cuck.

Alright, now with a full tribe we might fare better.

Breed more benises before attacking

Should we wait for torches or just go and fuck them up?

...

Gather fruits and breed, we'll have plenty of time to destroy their village after we have slaughtered them

Get stronger

If they still use their poison and strike attacks then stick with those, spears have a much slower rate of attack than your natural weapons and a group focus firing their poison will burn anything down in seconds.

Let's do this.

Lmao, pretending like there is tactics in Spore.

Laugh all you like but it's how my Benis dudes survived the Tribal stage. They had gathering canes in their mouths but were melting down raiding parties in moments with poison.

I WILL LAUGH. FUCK WE RAPED 'EM GOOD AND HARD BOYS.

the fuck are those blue things?

DID YOU BEFRIEND THEM? HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BE GENOCIDERS BEFRIENDING PEOPLE?

I believe he befriended them in the creature stage.

- Chief Glans Testes

By being neutral in Creature stage, we can enslave animals to fight for us.

Um… So here is out competition.

Pajeet, my son, now you are defeated.

...

And both Green and Pink decided to attack us at the same time.

Hurry and expand, what does our tribe look like right now?

You've got to be fucking kidding me…

Who would have guessed.

And the teal village just ran in and stole the rest of our food. Should I turn the difficulty down?

*sigh* fuck…

BREED

That is what you get for being neutral

Don't know how I missed this post earlier but that' fucking fantastic.

NEVER

CASTRATED

Well, there is no way to turn down the difficulty, so we'll need a better plan then just genocide. In order to make it work we must be cunning, not brute force it.

You need to get stronk first

...

this. Agro and economy is basic of every game

In order to get better gear we need to either buy out the other tribes, befriend them, or fuck them up. We can only manage murdering the Brown village before the other villages swing by and fuck us in the ass.

I found a nest of animal us.

They are brethen so they must join our ranks.

You should wait for a moment where the other tribes are engaged in something to attack.

Now the fucking brown bitches are attacking us, geez.

Befriend animal benis?

yes, befriend the inferior benis.

If they look like us they most likely understand our suffering, so yes.

FUCKS COMING INTO MY HOUSE

The soft benis shall serve the hard one

...

YES ATTACK

...

quick steal their shit when they are distracted

BEACE WUDZ NEBER AN OBJEN!

10/10

Inferior subspecies. They must be exterminated for being genetically obsolete.

I am still not finished with it. I am having trouble putting stuff on it that will not compromise the design.

...

It's time to make our move.

CLEANSE

wipe them out. All of them. Also you need to make sure you equip gear in the outfitter that increases your attack. It helps a lot.

FUCK. YES.

Added some masks to increase his overall stats. What is next?

BURN THE INFIDELS

Tell me about the benis, why does it wear the masks?
Get stronker. Fortify the tribe if neccesary

Yeah? Is this what you want?

YES

Well it's happening again. This is getting really annoying. Good thing I saved just after we killed the browns!

Spend some time collecting fruit so you can build up and protect yourself.

Damn your benises are getting swamped. Did you land on the planet of feminists?

Just going to make a note for you well ahead of time now that I've realized how close we are, OP; once you reach Civ stage, never, ever save. You only get one save slot, which defaults to the start of the stage. If you save over that, that's it, that's as early as you can go, and so on as you keep saving. If you save at any time other than an assured victory or definite step towards one, which is either uncertain or superfluous, your entire save will be permanently trapped in a hell of getting curbstomped by outright cheating AI civs that can't be reverted to stage start and will have to start the entire save over from Cell if you want the stage bonuses. Be prepared for pain and restarts, because you have to perfectly domino effect the enemy civs while managing diplomacy (IE, flatter dialogue and flagrant bribery) so you don't get wrecked by two or three civs at once because 'your borders are too large!'

you might be onto something.

WE WILL FUCKING WIN.

Boy user you sure did bite off more than you can chew.

They have sticks to fight with and you do not. This is a problem.

Fuck shit, we MIGHT WIN.

Why don't you have weapons? Dongs need weapons to properly expand.

WE REPELLED THE INVADERS!

You best get more food quick user.

On it.

Doesn't that rain ability make more fruit grow? That might help.

doesn't that leave their tribe weakened?

The pinks are struggling to rebuild. Is it the time to strike? Evens decide.

I've been using it.

They already built tall - you need to attack before they have the numbers to utilise it fully

KILL

Yes, but before he will have more soldiers they will have replenished their losses.

Also as soon as you get axes, go Viking dick on everyone.

IT IS ALWAYS TIME TO STRIKE!

We should make a Codex Astartes for the penis bethren to follow in future wars.

Make sure you have weapons first.

Destroy them

I've got the weapons.

Alright, I'm just going to bum rush their main hut and kill them quick.

Go ahead and start to write it. Tenant 1: Kill all those who are genetically inferior.

pop a few babies out too

Just before I left to raid, a member of the Teal Fucks tried to steal our shit.

their time will come after pinks are dead

Don't get distracted, just remember to steal their stuff as revenge after you get done killing the pinks.

And even more raiders, this time from the Greens. Pink extermination is postponed until after this is dealt with.

those are some nice numbers, user

chk'd

Tenant 2: Those that are similar to us are to be approached with a weapon in hand.

Quints confirm. Focus on killing one at the time.

Kill all their males, pillage the village, and rape their women. Spread you seed far and wide.

Of course, the second I finish murdering the greens, we get bum rushed by a recuperated Pink and also Teal. Fuck.

Are teal and pink allied?
Tenant 3: We do not make alliances, we either subdue or destroy.

kill them and IMMEDIATELLY attack one of them before he can recuperate

Alright, dealt with. I'm taking down pink before he has a chance to breathe.

The tribal stage is so bare bones, imagine if it played like a grand strategy getting more complex with each age.

I think about this every time I play to.

BITCHIN'

Alright, what's next for us?

Try to steal food from the greens.

Check out the new duds
See if you can't make a better benis

And a ufo came down and stole one of our troops. Fucking shit.

Kill everybody else who opposses you, and everybody who doesn't oppose us.
Also why aren't the totems dicks

you*

OUTER SPACE ALREADY THIRSTS FOR THE BRUNDLECOCK

The sky god is evil and must be destroyed.

New duds. Who is getting fucked first, green or teal?

Tenant 4: Never forget the misdeeds of others against our kind.

Make sure to remember the space ship shape so we can hunt it down later.

Teal.

Someone out there wants to know how the fuck your species works, or wants to save some of you before it delivers the exterminatus to the planet.

teal broke the NAP

Fuck those green nigger us

Teals were the ones who stole from us, right? Fuck those guys first

Spaceship stole our pet benis.

Imagine if there was actually a possibility of aliens nuking a planet while you are trying to develop your species, but we cant have nice things in this timeline.

THEY ARE ASKING FOR DEATH!

More green raiders.

Extermination will not be enough; when their planet is found it should be terraformed into a burning hell.

We sent those bitches RUNNING.

Some of you are alright. Don't go to planet Holla Forums(DOT)NET tomorrow.

Tenant 5: A task unfinished is an enemy not killed.

And then they turned right back around…

see

Fucking on it.

*tenet

pls rewrite all of the TENET
I am clearly in no conditions to

Green has fallen.

Kill our sworn Teal enemies now.

Start the siege against teal.

Upgraded our armor, the Teal Extermination will begin quite shortly.

our spiky benises will rape the galaxy

The violet fuck wits have entered the battle.

btw did you make sure to remember the shape of the spaceships we need to kill?

The teal are cyan, sorry.

I wonder if it is possible to lure that big monster into their village and have it wreak havoc.

Tenet 1: Kill all those who are genetically inferior.
Tenet 2: Those that are similar to us are to be approached with a weapon in hand.
Tenet 3: We do not make alliances, we either subdue or destroy.
Tenet 4: Never forget the misdeeds of others against our kind.
Tenet 5: A task unfinished is an enemy not killed.

plot twist

Yeah, I have the pic saved. They will RUE THE DAY.

Huh that's pretty weird. Usually it's always the grox who show up. In any case it's just a random ship, it's not yet assigned to anyone yet.

We will just murder everyone anyway.

Those fucks, attacking us again. That will be their FATAL ERROR.

The newbies are attempting to raid us.

Tenet 6: Take no prisoners, kill them all!

We move into attack.

*battle music starts playing in the background*

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, >>>Holla Forums917312

[DICKS BEING UNZIPED]

Since we're going full aggro, we should aim for the Zealot philosophy for space stage. Best ablilty imo instantly convert an enemy planet every 30 min
All we need to do is be a religious civilization in the next stage
HERETICS MUST BURN

We need to instantly nuke planets not hold hands with aliens scum.

Bam, stupid fucks.

FUCK.

Congrats. remember to get four cities as soon as possible. That will give you a huge advantage since it will allow you to use flyers.

One more village and then we are done with this fucking stage.

The Scientist ability does that but isn't reachable as an herbivore+agressive creature. Zealot is the closest we can get, and most useful aggro

For any of you wondering about our stance.

Ebin.

They are distracted!

Oh, didn't realize we were adaptable in creature stage

Nice

Whoop

BEYOND FUCK YES.

...

So, what is going to be our Town Hall?

The largest, most phallic tower possible. Maximum height. With spikes.

this
it should look like us since it is the main building in the WORLD

I was just going to say a vagina for the joke of all the little penis monster people going inside and out constantly but what the hey right?

How does this look?

MORE SPIKES

Our current options for space stage philosophy are ecologist, bard or knight, depending on the standing of the civilization stage.
I'd aim for another red standing to go for knight, since it should be the more useful for aggro.
But this was never about trying to get the better result, I guess.

Yeah I'd agree. Knight is kinda shit but the only remotely helpful option. It seems like we're going full aggro so we'll probably end up with knight anyway.

Can you make it cum?

What's with the thing on the side? Not phallic, m8.

Also

is there like a smokestack or something with particles to put at the top?

Is it possible to put spikes on the spikes?

Those things on the side are supposed to be wings. Kinda shitty, but I made 'em like flame scones kinda.

I stroked it a bit.

THE DEATH DICK

More like The Phalace

I made the jizz more explosive looking. Are we ready to move on?

Name it Darth Dicker

Give it a name, and lets commit some genocide.

Excellent

Imposing. Let's rock.

Needs more urethral abuse still.

Oh boy, I've gotta make a car. What is it going to be?

THE DICKMOBILE

Make the Chariot.

And so it begins…
THE INDUSTRIAL AGE!

Tenet 1: Kill all those who are genetically inferior.
Tenet 2: Those that are similar to us are to be approached with a weapon in hand.
Tenet 3: We do not make alliances, we either subdue or destroy.
Tenet 4: Never forget the misdeeds of others against our kind.
Tenet 5: A task unfinished is an enemy not killed.
Tenet 6: Take no prisoners, kill them all!

And you even ask?

this

WE RIDE KNOW NOT WHERE

It knows.

Alright, her is a little status update.

...

You are trying too hard to make a literal replica of the chariot, I think. Shouldn't the penis look more like the penis creature that is supposed to be driving it?

10/10. Exactly like Kaneko's design.

Fuck you.

"Dress for the job you want, not the job you have."

Is she good? Anything else we need?

That actually looks kinda neat

...

Make sure it's fast so you can get those spices as quick as possible.

nice

NOW IT'S DONE

Alright, what's next for us?

fucking incredible

Acquire spice, conquer planet.

Anschluss

we conquer

There is our map. Which is our first target?

take the ones near us first
so we can get 4 cities

See go with nearest city to the east.

Aye Aye. I'm going to swamp green to begin.

I like it user.

Inferiors.

Orange is trying to convert us to False Faiths.

make a tank shaped like a swastika and shoot the fuck out of them

He's about to win to.

this isnt germany
this is penis land
all must be penis

No worries, I got the orange bastard. Green is ours!

...

How do I reply?

Continue the murder!

That's very convenient, because orange should be our second target. Red is on the seaside, which means they're likely to waste resources on shipbuilding and bickering with the eastern continent. Orange, on the other hand, is as far as I'd guess a pure land power, because it's just a bit too far inland to get a port, and will focus all its efforts on us and nominally red. Keep good relations with red until we're ready to pound his shit in. Afterwards, it'd be wise to landlock any remaining continental powers by taking seaside cities one by one so that we can control all of the oceanic spice, in addition to our center continent advantage, and then spam lots of air religious vehicles to try and go Zealot. Only a measuredly aggressive approach can prevent our getting fucked over at sea and thus eventually losing on land.

a swas-dick-a?

But that is something else entirely.

Wide tracts of land, bribery. Him and Blue need to deadlock each other while we handle things on our continent and then take over the crimson shitters in the East.

Limbless space slugs, because it is pretty accurate actually

Tell them to go fuck themselves.

Insult the nature of their phallic origin.

Hmm
Indeed, perhaps we should consider strategy this time…

>implying spore is deep enough for strategy

suggest stalling until you take the continent?

this

It absolutely isn't, but as I warned above, you need to do things perfectly in civ stage or you can and will get fucked into a bad footing from which you can't recover, which either means restarting the stage or the entire save if you made the mistake of saving mid-stage.

I'm taking down all of Oranges spice mines to strip him of resources before I begin the assault. I am also picking off any and all of his land tanks as I find them. Orange will fall next.

Orange's attentions are primarily on felling the Red city and capturing my spice mines.

And orange has taken Red.

Alright, are we just blowing Orange to shit or are we gonna try converting him to Cock Faith?

they must be taught forcefully.

Destroy them, no forgiveness

Conversion if we can, zealotry is the way. Planet thievery plus everyone hating us as if we'd used a planet buster or similar WMD for giving people the Arab Spring treatment is good.

Orange played us for fools.

Alright, we are doing this again, green first.

go straight to orange and steal his spice mines while he's distracted

And now you see what I mean by 'you have to do things perfectly or get fucked.' I like how they have air units without four cities, the flagrantly cheating shits.

I've decided to just bum rush orange when they have one city. That might help.

Yellow is squabbling with red.

You guys don't have enough involvment right now, so lets fix that. What are the houses going to be?

Do you really need to ask?

Yes, I have to ask. What are they going to be?

spurdo face with cocks for eyes

I was thinking they could be vulvas

meant to reply to

What are you, some sort of gay? Real men, straight men, love cocks and cocks only.

please no bully

This is actually appropriate, the main building being a penis and the houses, stores as vulvas

Odds have it. Is it good?

This tbh

It's complete shit. I love it

hehe

Yeah, it's REALLY bad.>>13378507

It's like a numale house. He comes home from his office job and has to squeeze ximself through the front door.

Almost as horrifying as the real thing

vagina dentata?

Now that I think about vagina dentata would be our species worst enemy.

Beat me to it, I was hoping you'd ask for a name

Shit.

nigga what are you doing

They all started pissed off.

There's one thing we haven't tried yet.
Being nice.

OP, stop masturbating to your spore creations already and tell us how the situation is developing.

Damn it. Well, i've got something to do for a long while.

In about three hours, I'll start a new thread, part 3, and we'll begin by designing the houses and then FUCKING THOSE GOD DAMN INFIDELS.

improve relations with off-continent niggers unless they are progressing too much

...

Fuck off, nigger.

Don't fret user. I'm sure he'll be back soon. Anyways look at my template for new ebin dong city. I still need to finalize the coloring, but it's mostly finished.

Holy shit, that looks fantastic, well done, user.

That's a pretty edgy benis.

A civilized gondola for a civilized world.

Dam that Gondola is perfect anonkun

What the fuck is wrong with the wildlife on this planet?

Maxis

Part 3: 8ch.net/v/res/13379297.html

Thread 3 and 4 are locked and gone, bumping this one

Cool cool. I fucked us up, but that's ok. Part 4 continues here then.

What are we naming this thing?

Dong Bomber

Helicockter

Oh shit… Well, I assumed I fucked this whole thing up so I went ahead and just finished the Civ stage, sorry about that.

You'll be happy to know that I nuked the shit out of the last two Yellow cities. On too SPACE!

Our final results.

It's time to send our cock to space. If I could make a suggestion on what our space ship should look like…

A throwback to our ancestors wouldn't be bad

Some of the parts we are using.

I think we should go the simple route. Make it a regular flying penis.

Uh…

Well, I'm not sure if anyone is watching, but we did it. We shot that cock into space.

Beautiful. You have given us a wonderful gift.

You didnt let us dress up the dicks during civ stage, fuck you

You pretend like we can't still do that.

Oh shit we still can? I havent played Spore in a long ass time and I thought it was impossible to change once in spess

BIG BENIS :——–DDDDDDDD

Pretty fucking good

I just need to finish the flyer, and the entertainment. Then I will actually be able to play the civ stage.

We need gilded armor for our SpaceCocks. As 40k as you can make it. Cum for the Cum God!

Here is the gondolian flying unit. Have not finished it yet though.

WAR IDS HELL :——DDDDDDDDD

Where's the space?

Okay I think I've got it all done now.

Made our first conquest, and made our first enemy.

They're no match for us. Looks like this will be a complete steamroll. Once my gondolas conquer this city we will be the only ones with access to flying units. Every other enemy only has one city. This will be a cakewalk.

Weaponized Gondolas were a mistake. A terrible terrible mistake. The Galaxy will burn because of our arrogance.

Red is putting up quite the fight, but I have the advantage of superior air power.

It's only a matter of time now.

I decided not to use the ICBM because that makes the space stage harder.

Oh fug.

How do you anons like my ship so far?

2017: A Gondola Space Odyssey/10

Here is the finished ship. I think it came out well.

Fug! I forgod pig :—D

Finally ready for space more or less.

Now to conquer the cosmos.

We made it.

I found primitive gondolas on another world. Now I can put gondolas on every ecosystem I find. The galaxy will be full of gondolas.

Okay it's finally hit page thirteen. You can come out now.

We defeated this, and another empire. We have a strong economy, and lots of stuff to sell, so it looks like the future is bright for the gondolian empire.