Holla Forums plays Spore

Here is our little bastard. What's the name of the Planet? From now on, evens rule the board.

Holla Forums.NET

Best it could do.

No Man's Spore

Alright, let's get Aggressive. What am I naming this bastard?

see

I will you give you the benefit of a doubt OP, but this will probably not end well.

rolling for

/this!

newfag

Let's fuck shit up. we'll evolve every we find a new part.

Be sure you always keep the spikes. It'll help you kill creatures much bigger than you. But it gets trumped by the omnivore mouth.

First Kill. I'll update the kill count when we next evolve.

Just two spike? We're overly aggressive, we demand more spikes at the next evolution.

Make sure he is penis shaped.

Killed this big fuck. We are doing good.

You sniveling little fucking faggot.
You and me both know why Spore was hyped up in the first place.

Kill count: 6

What changes are we making? Again, first Evens decides.

He needs to be penised shaped first of all.

Jets and way more spikes. Hyperaggression needs ADHD speed

My spikes are my armour.
My spikes are my shield.
My spikes are my sword.
In the Emperors name, let none survive.

More spikes! This is aids!

You mentioned the jet first, so jets we shall have. That's all we can afford now for our little bastard.

Still not penis shaped.
Quit being a faggot and do what must be done.

Another Behemoth slain. Stupid fucks.

Why not stream it? Shitty internet/computer?

Go go no mans spore!

get out

Incorporate spikes into it's penis shape like a reverse anti rape condom.

Get with the times grandpa, streaming is the hot new internet sensation. Even pornstars stream videogames now.

Alright, flippers are an option now, but god knows why we would want to be slower. What changes are we making? Evens decide.

Fuck streaming. My content is shitty and therefore my delivery must be shitty.

Shape. It. Like. A. Penis.

Flippers are actually gud, slap two on either side of the jet

More penis shape and more spikes

see:

Make it a cock, much like NMS was a cock up.

moar spikes

Finally someone rolled it right.

Kill count: 11

use the stalk-eyes for testicles

Alright, what next?

Add another pair of spikes and flippers for quick turns

/bane/ Mask

see:

also

Why not have him construct a fishing hut next?

testicles

Remove all your spikes and use the extra points on eyestalks.

I'm not sure if this is what you meant, but fuck you. That's what you get. We have some more points to spend. Choose what's next.

Come now user, this is not the time for fishing huts that comes later

more spikes

see:

360 degrees of spikes

This is acceptable.
I remember playing Spore when it was still pretty new. I liked the creature stage, couldn't fucking control the tribal stage, and had no idea what the hell I was doing by the civ stage. Space stage I understood but once I'd facetank past the Grox and reached the center of the galaxy, I realized there's no reason to continue playing. I never knew about what Spore was supposed to be and all its cut content, though, so I didn't feel much crush over it being boring.
Also fuck EA and their shitty one-of-five-installs allowing online "connectivity".

Spikes.

THE STALK EYES ARE THE TESTICLES

SIZE THEM UP AND PUT THEM ON THE SIDES YOU AUTISTIC FUCK

Remove spikes and become the ultimate herbivore, with fucktons of eyes everywhere.

kek, agree with more spikes

Ah. I was thinking more anatomical then I should. I forgot I was playing Spore for a moment.

There we go, more spikes.

beautiful

those spikes should be more front facing also

god damn I hope this thing goes extinct

Good goood… now go and kill!

You know what to do.

Yeah, me too.

can you afford the acorn thing by selling spikes? would make a good glans tbh

At least go omnivore.

More eyeballs. He must see everything.

Need more spikes.

it does make a good glans.

...

It's taking shape

...

Actually the mouth can stay since it looks like pubic hair.

What does the acorn do? Does it shoot?

It zaps the gay away

Here we go. Evens choose what is next, as normal.

It produces electricity.

If only we could zap the gay away from Holla Forums.

Needs to be bigger.

Put eyes all over it

Yeah. Ok.

Spikes down the shaft, like a feline phallus.

Now go back to the water and dick around elsewhere

Quick question. Did the they ever mod the removed water stage back into the game.

Make it lumpy, bloat all the spine pieces asymmetrically.

The cell stage is the water stage, user.

Ezekiel 10:12
You must take on the visage of the angel of benis, a winged phallus with wings and great testis covered in eyes all over.

Fuck off Todd.

Supposedly there was a planned water stage between cell and land

I thought once we made it to the creature stage we would make a Gondola.

Nigger that shit was finished, but was removed when the playtesters couldn't do it.

How about a Gondola benis angel?

a gondola with wheels and wings that has every part of its body covered in benis?

Gondola already looks like a benis.

Shit quality gif of our little fuckface.

The shit quality is on purpose, because I hate you.

You made the benis backwards. You can't thrust into things now.

Always wondered where they find these retarded playtesters.

Why even change the game if the playtesters are that shit.

youtube.com/watch?v=d3pQ0oO_cDE

Is this the actual spore that was shown in E3?

well. I think you need to make it able to go towards the tip.
The second mouth kinda looks like a glans, you could use that and thrust into things with it.

How do you fuck up making a gif, OP?

It's the only spore that exists, user.

Yeah sure, No Man Sky made Spore look like a bad game (down from shit game), wait until they release something that makes Spore look good (they will, we both know it).

Alright, this might be the last one before we move onto being a creature.

And too all the shits who are complaining about the dick being the "wrong way". The only attack I have is to quickly whip around and slap my enemy with my electrified tip. Plus, anytime I am being chased by predators they'll have to bite off my tip in order to eat me.

I can't wait to laugh at all the preorderfags who buy it

MORE EYES.

Sure, why not?

They borrowed Valve's.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
no
The spore we were promised (which was by all accounts pretty much finished before they gave it a fucking lobotomy) never came to be. And, if you believe some accounts, was actually torn down and replaced with the travesty we were given.

No. NMS was Spore-tier disappointment for normalfags. They're otherwise nothing alike.

MORE SPIKES.

Are you playing with the 60fps config tweak? It will make Spore a little less painful.

That took way to long, god damn.

Our final kill count: 33

Alright, what are we doing?

What the fuck were you even doing in there.

2 legs only, no multilegged gay bullshit. Also switch to carnivore.

Whatever the other anons want is fine with me, but eventually I want to at least see a good gondola for my collection.

Gay sex with hats on.

Fuck having legs, we can't compromise the dick.
ONWARD

No legs

Fuck now I want to reinstall spore just to take gondola to the stars, and give him the wanderer trait.

Better pirate that shit user

FUCK.

Well, if we can't do legs, we need to use up all of of points in the bottom left there. If not they dissappear.

MORE EYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES

Go meat eater.

Well of course.

Here is how to do it. Remove the back eyes that serve as balls.
1. Put on some legs
2. Remove the feet from the bottom
3. Pull the body down until it is as close to the floor as you can get it.
4. Use the growing section to make the bottom leg as big as possible.
Now you have a benis that walks with it's balls.

Switch the fucking orientation, balls on the back tip at the front.
Replace acorn with the 2nd row from the bottom thing.
Put spikes on your ass.

Get the wingy thingys for the jump, maybe slap on a jet for charge. Oh. And the cilia for stealth and style points.

this

WHAT HE SAID AND GIVE IT WINGS. AND MORE EYES ON ITS BALLS

...

Alright, I'm still figuring it out, but I just want to show you all what has happened.

He needs legs to thrust effectively. Eventually his shaft can stand more upright as he becomes more evolutionarily advanced, then we can add another dick.

(checked)
Oh shit nigger what are you doing.

...

You can't try and move the legs if the feet have been removed. The game doesn't like that. You have to get the legs into position first, and then grow them.

OH FUCK ALSO DON'T USE THE ONE THAT HAS 4 JOINTS. GET THE ONE WITH ONLY 3.

BEHOLD
THE Holla ForumsARMACHINE PROTOTYPE

...

make a blind small trap penis with plump balls, no legs

Dammit I forgot.
USE THE CONTROL KEY TO REMOVE ALL BUT ONE PART OF THE LEGS

...

I'm on the edge of my seat, OP.

A weapon to surpass the benis

Nah Nah. I think I've got it. I can reverse it if you guys like, but FUCK. I like it.

dickbutt when

Make it a proud upright penis, then.

It's…. bretty good.

I like Holla Forumsattleship benis, but do whatever you want

If possible, switch the orientation by putting the acorn over the mouth and the balls at the back.

I like it.

It's a horrible mutant bastard, but it's here amongst friends.

Can you give it one leg?

OP, you should be extremely violent and genocide all the other species that dont suffer like he does.

Also, OP
KEEP THE DICK SHAPE
LET'S SEND THIS DICK TO SPACE

BROTHEERRR

...

have it curve up a little bit

This one looks even uglier.
Please don't take it to space.

Shit fuck. I keep getting errors when I try to post a damn gif…

Maybe it's because your gifs are horrible?

Alright, shit the bed. Here is a link for it: drive.google.com/open?id=0B5NMhNGosVQkSGNxOUFVYnI5dFE

Anyway, you know how we had a black texture on it? Well they stopped loading. The universe has deemed us to be white now. Also, here is a mating dance.

Alright, Friend or Foe? A new stage, a new system. Odds decide.

Unless it's a benis, kill it.

Befriend. Then seduce

DESTROY

Anything that does not look like another penis must be killed.

I was just gonna dick around with this creation and the planet name the game generated for me tells me I should keep going and see where this takes me.
Spoiler because I don't want to hijack the thread from the OP.

Uh… it looks like a scrotum. It's got the hair and everything. Befriend or Kill?

There can be only one.

It kind of does look like a walking testicle, but as said, we're the big dick in town, and he is wanting.

DESTROY.

Look what you fucking did.

Yeah, so we don't actually have the ability to kill in our present state. We need more power.

This may be a short run

Alright, let's evolve this little fucker. What are we doing first?

The jew nose
Get the jew nose

Also, there are a ton of parts, so If you want me to scroll to a different menu just tell me.

Add a spike, for maximum penetration.

Something that will help us kill. Maybe a yuge spike to ram our foes with.

Any tentacles of death?

These are the weapons we can work with.

install cumming systems for benis

I forgot how fucking ugly the weapon parts were.
God I fucking hate this game.

Put the hideous proboscis thing to for the benis head.

Urethral antler for charging, testicular scythes for stability and evisceration.

Ah yes. That gives us the spit ability, a ranged attack. Purple cum, here we go! (I hid it in the tip)

FUCK YES.

The Scrotes have fallen. The warrior king stands atop the domain of those he had just exterminated. He sees one of his harem members in heat in the distance. He shall reward himself by making vicious, animal love to her.

(Checked)
Soon Holla Forumsirgin cum will cover this continent
Then the world
Then the galaxy

Make penis stand and move upright on the balls now

Holla Forums.png

What's next?

Erect penis w/ legs

Attacks with "White Victory Foam".

get the next level spitter if that what the new you got was, long range cheese cant be beaten

it doesn't need legs where it's going, user

*sigh*

Friend or Foe?

Get the upgraded spitter. It's a cloaca! It must be able to fuck EVERYTHING!

It's ALMOST penis-like. Try to befriend it for now.

kill the pretender

FOE

EVISCERATE

Look at the color. All blue n shit. Put it out of it's misery, OP.

Well, the first odd has it. We've added one to the army boys.

Don't do this.

You fool. Only 1 penis deserves to rule the heavens

Alright. I have something to do. The adventure of the dong monstrosity that is No Man's Spore will continue in an hour and a half.

Don't your allies become domesticated animals when you reach the Tribal Stage? They aren't actually competition

I played this piece of trash before. I remember the allied creatures in your party do end up becoming farm animals or something when you enter the tribal stage.
One benis to rule them all

Even so, the only animals fit for a penis is a vagina monster, not another penis.

ded?

What are you suing for screenshots OP?

Holy fuck codemonkey that took 4 minutes to get through.

We are shooting this bastard to the GOD DAMN STARS.

I'm fucking BACK bitches. What are we changing?

Just basic screen capture.

Really. Mine screencapture must just be fucking up then.

Do we have wings yet?

Yeah, we have some shitty lil' wings.

First the skies, and then space
Feel free to replace them when we get birb wings

We are ready to take to the skies.

does it walk on its balls?

Stream it

F…FUG!

For you.

Fuck you, see

That is what I am FUCKING TALKING ABOUT.

OH SHIT SON.

Friend or foe? Evens decide.

Wings should go lower on the shaft by the balls.

japp that nigga

I'm glad you like it, but I can never share it with you because the sharing is gone forever.

DESTROY

you already know what to do to non-benises

death

First time I played I made this. It was shit.

I'm going to keep asking each and every time. Anyway, the deed is done.

You know what up.

The previous things at least had a bulge
We're genociding everything on this planet at this rate, I don't think there are more "simple" animals left

this

You are right. We need to evolve.

WHERE'S THE EVOLUTION OP?

It is time to attain our Final Form (actually not yet, but soon)

Alright, what's next.

Chill faggot. We're getting there.

see

soon.jpg

see
and

benis?
benis

Yeah, so this?

FUCK

Christ that looks like ass

Hahaha.

A gorgeous after math to a dong exterminating aliens.

It kinda looks like a mutant Pikmin

Friend or foe?

Yes

all enemies

We already have one ally, tho. Kill
Also, we need to make chariots when we reach the civ stage. Let's become ALL the benis monsters

Yeah, I'm going to keep asking. Also, we don't have a carnivorous mouth, so the little bastard keeps eating meat and vomiting everywhere.

These fucks already hate me. Friend or foe?

Select your planet!

fug

Obviously, we must fight

FOE

Fuck you. It's taken HOURS to get to just under halfway into the creature stage. It would be idiotic to start over to just get another worse dong monster.

I'm another faggot, so there's no problem running two of these simultaniously.
It just means the thread won't be as slow!

gas gas gas

Hahahahahaha. Fuckin noice user. My gondolas are moving up in the world to.

Terrifying.

How would we denote who is posting for what game? Be original and start your own thread.

I'm guessing you mean kill. I was going to evolve first but this happened. What's the plan of attack gentlemen?

The memes jack.

At least this:>>13373608 is quality content.

In that case, i guess we'll just spin the wheel and pick a planet at random.
As the natural enemy of the cock monster, we'll be starting off as a carnivore.

What should the planet be named?

You can tell by my :^) flag, friendo.

Probably move to somewhere with more trees/pastures, since the flying dicks are herbivores and the current area looks absolutely dead.

No idiot. How would we know which one of us they are ordering around. Seriously dude. Your's is an idea that is both unoriginal, idiotic, and not very well thought out. Make your own thread.

New lands the benis will explore.

Is that a real question?
Assuming i'm reading that right, you're asking how i or OP are supposed to know who is being directed?

By who's post you link to. Obviously.
Fuck it, if you don't want to play along i won't crash your party.

Just fucking ignore him. He just wants to ruin our benis fun. I never thought I would be having fun with spore again. Here are some brave gondola warriors preparing to attack an enemy tribe.

Why, thank you very much for not murdering this thread.

Alright! After a long flying journey, we have finally made it to our new home. What's next for our little bastard.

Life is strange. I can be both an asshole and an inspiration at the same time.

Kill niggas and get more parts. Let's start trying to increase mass and get our penis into giganigga territory.

Becoming the biggest benis ever. Also here is a gondola for everyone's collection. I know I'll cherish it. This is a picture of a brave Gondolian warrior from Gondola 5.

Obviously our next step is adding even more heads until we're a flying hydra dick abomination.

If I wasn't trying to actually complete the game with Holla Forums's control, I'd honestly just like to watch your game. It's probably far more interesting.

Well you're the one who made me even think about it. In other news, the gondolas are celebrating their recent victory, and OH FUGGG!

Need more benis.

We'll need to be stronger in order to survive in this new place. What should we change?

Spikey pubes an option?

Some weapons and make them look like piercings along the shaft. Bonus points if you can pull off a prince albert or something like that.

this

That turned out well.

Another alien shit pile, another choice. Friend or Foe?

Foe

You know if you place the mouth on the body a certain way it will cause the spine to fold at an odd angle when you move. That will allow you to flail your dong around quite effectively. You can test to see if you got it right in the preview/walk mode.

KILL

Introduce this unprepared species to the power of dong

FUGG indeed
Meanwhile my tribal stage already has me facing off against a rival meme.

We got FUCKED.

Tell me how and it shall be done.

Dong Hydra time.

Your dong needs strike weapon. Strike weapons do double damage.

Agreed. Commence dick weaponization

Pincers for our dong. Or scythes. Or buzzaws. Something in that class, which we're missing. Everything in this awful combat system is about having every attack type at once so you never stop cycling them. Charge to initiate, then spam bite, strike, spit in no particular order.

Maybe replace glans with a striking weapon and dickslap everything to death?

FUCKING.
UPGRADE.

Spiked urethra? Truly horrifying.

Fucking metal

The only way to defeat the dreaded vagina dentata.

There might be a lot of inspiration from the film ABCs of Death

Alright, so I found some guys that are usually highly hostile and very strong but the fact that I was herbivore in the cell stage makes them viable as friends. Should we befriend them and make them slaves of the pingus or slaughter?

slaughter

PURGE

Eternal conquest.

friend

...

Exterminate niggers.

Well, they gangraped me. Good job.

...

F U C K
U
C
K

...

Oh, fuck me in the ass.

Come on m8, you do the raping around here.

This amount of concentrated autism makes my sides hurt holy fuck.

...

wew

I decided to just go ahead and make happen.

Fuck you. You didn't actually come to Holla Forums to see quality content, did you?

Alright, what about these guys? Friend or Foe?

Slaughter them

Enemies! We must build up our strength and take the war to those apes!

Go nuts, m8

Holy shit. Anyways how do you guys like my city so far? We finally finished the tribal stage.

Holy shit. Anyways how do you guys like my city so far? We finally finished the tribal stage.

COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODEMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY

Will you never be satisfied?

...

Fuck you. This is supposed to be shitty content, not good. I've failed if this is entertaining. I'm an asshole.

Kill or befriend, as if I didn't already know the answer.

Befriend

10/10 although the legs seem to be a bit misaligned

REMOVE

remove with prejudice

Gas those space jews.

Remove juden

RIP Space Alf.

Whoa, hey. It's been awhile since we evolved. What are we changing? Evens as usual.

We need to become stronger to defeat the apes that crashed the game.

Take that fuckery on the third row, second column and shove it on it. Make dickbutt come real!

Get claws and upgrade dancing ability, mesmerize enemies with dancing dick

What's happened to wings? Put those back on and replace feet with best weapon you got

Is Spore the game that made Holla Forums?

Ah, you noticed my fuckery. Bat wings seem more appropriate.

Now that's a demon.

SHIT THE BED.

Perfect.

...

There is no quality control here.

These here fucks have FINALLY passed on.

What's wrong with this exactly?

Alright, friend or foe.

Also, it seems God has felt right to smite our creation. That's what we deserve.

...

Well, here is the deal. We've been buried under other posts and i'm tired as fuck.

Holla Forums plays Spore part 2 will begin tomorrow

Will No Man's Spore survive the Meteor? Will these stupid not dong fucks be smote? Find out tomorrow, with Holla Forums plays Spore part 2!

Sgt. Dong reporting for duty.

dude stop you're gonna make me redownload this shit game.

Oh also here is the finished ebin dong city. I am not real happy with it, but it's nice enough.

magnet:?xt=urn:btih:b5cb9accb56b0a6503c93652f3db1507224bd32d&dn=SPORE+Collection+%28GOG%29&tr=udp%3A%2F%2Ftracker.leechers-paradise.org%3A6969&tr=udp%3A%2F%2Fzer0day.ch%3A1337&tr=udp%3A%2F%2Fopen.demonii.com%3A1337&tr=udp%3A%2F%2Ftracker.coppersurfer.tk%3A6969&tr=udp%3A%2F%2Fexodus.desync.com%3A6969

those are dragon/reptile wings lad.

8ch.net/v/res/13376434.html

Part 2

...