Tfw you'll never be able to play a decent caveman game with unique gameplay

Why even live?

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exhentai.org/g/890272/aa75b646d0/
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store.steampowered.com/app/351700/UnReal_World/
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There was a mod for Civ IV called Caveman to Cosmos or something that had you playing in the caveman years for many turns before civilization begins to emerge. No rape and no harems of women, though.

That reminds me of that one hentai.

Not what I was talking about, but I didn't know that. It sounds interesting. Thanks, user.

Played several already. Sucks to be a millennial, I guess.

Name them, faggot.
Points if they're not just strategy games.

What about magic?

And I'm not talking about reality warping things. Tribes that have one shaman who worship the raw earth and fire and stone. Those who worship the air and water are weak, cowardly, bringer of illnesses

Oh fuck yes i wanted such game for too long. Cavemen had hard lives and deserve proper semi realistic game, they had been here for 10 000 years after all

nigger what the fuck we breathe air and our bodies are mostly water, this is what happens when our teachers are more focused on gender theory then actually passing on knowledge these days

Legitimately lurk moar or at least read the post in its entirety before you sperg out about it

No actual magic, just shit that cavemen would think is magic. That'd be hilarious.

Cavemen werent idiots

Sorry, user, were you there?
Even back in ancient Greece they were blaming floods, tsunamis, whirlpools, and all other forms of nature on gods. It's human nature to explain the unexplainable with a higher being.

even cavemen understood they needed water to drink and air to breathe, they wouldn't treat them like malicious elements, it'd be like saying cavemen would think food is evil or day light is bad, you can't even make the argument that it's because they can die via storms or drowning, because fire and earth do the same thing through burning and landslides

if anything the natural event that should be universally hated by cavemen is night and darkness, because that's when they're most vulnerable to the predators and they can't see shit, the classical four elements on the other hand would be universally respected and feared simultaneously for their necessity to live and their capacity for death

You don't know much about pagan or polythiestic religions, do you?

I'm sure a god would have the power to cause those things.

I'm not going to sit down and explain to you how the Indo-European religious traditions use gods as vehicles to explain the forces of nature, unlike the all powerful anthromorphic jewish sky fairy you're familiar with, I'm just going to mock you.

i know that sea gods were respected, supplicated and warded against at the same time, because those who lived in contact with the sea understood it had both good and bad qualities

i also know that wind was associated just as much with energy and power as much as calamity, and was also respected and feared, because these societies weren't idiots like your hypothetical cavemen who are big enough retards that they think things like


or

You can't be literally this retarded.
No one is calling them stupid. The shit we know now was explainable back then so they used gods to explain them. That does not mean that they were stupid, but it also does not mean those gods actually existed. You have different IDs, but you're so stupid it has to be the same person.

Except your instincts tell you otherwise. You would have to have high cognitive abilities to override your instinct like that. If leftists were cavemen they would understand why they're retarded, ironically

they're surprised because this particular tribe of cavemen think fire is all good and are confused as to why the good fire made Thog burn, when it's not evil like air which makes you sick and is all bad

Being hit by lightning was a punishment from Zeus, iirc.

instincts also tell me not to go near fire because i could get hurt, and make me want water when i'm thirsty and i breathe automatically, so why would fire be venerated while water and air shunned? cavemen had enough cognitive capabilities to understand that while fire was dangerous, it could also help them. the same goes for water and air. they would not shun any of those elements

Anyway, aside from the fucking faggots that are assblasted about the idea of common events in nature being equated to god's doing by cavemen, I still think a caveman game would be interesting. Especially if it tries to stray from stereotypes and is more realistic. I'd love to see different early humans. Like, for example, Homo floresiensis of the Philippines. Relatively recently found, but there's ancient stories in the area about tiny people that stole food and children from humans and didn't know how to make fire. It's said that the last two that remained had their house set on fire before the escaped into the jungle, never to be seen again.

Hey you , solid tip never answer questions like that put you on the back foot, just call him a faggot and move on.

i legitimately want to play a game about retard cavemen tribes with suicidal idealogies now. the basic gameplay would be a cross between lemmings, civ games, and king of dragon pass. you'd play as a time traveling human from the fiture, a benevolent deity, or an ayyy lmao, with bonus skills based on your choice of character. your goal is to keep the retard tribe alive and help them develop into a proper, unretarded civilization. the tribe would be randomly generated at the start of the game with one or more hatreds, which cause them to act in an irresponsible or antagonistic way towards a certain element. you would need to culturally manipulate them to ease these hatreds and eliminate their self-harming rituals and practices in regards to these elements, all while managing resources, developing tech, migrating around the map to follow herds of megafauna for hunting, and eventually discovering agriculture and settling down to create a village

you'd also have other tribes in the area (randomly generated and controlled by the computer in single player campaign, or by other players in multiplayer), who can be spiteful or helpful towards your tribe, based on their current hatreds. this would mean diplomacy wouldn't get stale either, as if your tribe started out hating water but grew to accept it other tribes that hate water and were previously ok with youbwould become malicious and think you're becoming evil. you could kill other tribes, or attempt to culturally influence them to become less stupid and eventually absorb them into your group if you choose.

not saging for this post since it's directly relevant to the thread topic

Ugg also wish for such game

What you faggots fail to understand is that the ancients understood that there were patterns to things, that the world operated in a consistent manner that suggested intelligent influences. The universe is pretty obviously not a capricious, fickle place.

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Wasn't this essentially Rust, and a bunch of other unfinished early access Steam survival games, except the women part?

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no harems or women as they are a genetic defect of the human race

It was more of you pretending it didn't exist at all rather than an endorsement. But the market did seem to have oversaturated and died before one of the games actually finished.

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Someone didn't play The Humans

Lifeweb's migrant class is close.

Was Rust or that other game not comprised of cavemen?

No, user. They weren't.

Ok. I probably mixed it up with another sandbox/survival/inventory game.

That was one thing aoe 2 did wrong, why did they have to bring womyn into my perfect caveman sausage party?

Not a caveman game, either.

maybe you were thinking of The Forest?

Why would you want a leftist fantasy of destroying all civilization and leaving humanity to bang rocks again?

Were you inspired by my month long thread?

Nope. Actually I haven't been on Holla Forums in a little while now.

club the apes, homo wars now

Holy fuck the sheer autism of this post.

There's a mod being made for Mount and Blade: Warband called Dawn Of Man that is set in prehistory. Still a work in progress, but it could be that with effort. There's also one being made for Bannerlord too.

There's also Ancient Cities, which lets you control them from stone age to bronze age, where you control an entire tribe of people and develop them into a city. That's got things like hunting and gathering, migration to follow resources, etc and so fourth. It's not out yet either and was a kikestarter iirc so who knows if it'll amount to anything.

Why did Far Cry Primal have to be so shit? I had such high hopes that was going to be an actual good passion project like Blood Dragon was. Instead it was DLC for Fry Cry 4 stretched out to unnatural levels.


You talking about The Otaku in 10,000 B.C.? This one?
exhentai.org/g/890272/aa75b646d0/

Well, you'll never be able to have "unique" gameplay period because absolutely everything that you try is going to get shit on for being tried before on some obscure game even if the mechanics are not the same and only sort of similar.

talk about proactive development

At least not till next year's pride week

IIRC they've let some modders have early access so that they can show the scale of the new engine or some shit.

Neanderthal laughs.

Theres this
kickstarter.com/projects/darkcrossgames/rise-of-man?ref=category_ending_soon

Here you go.

God damn

Is that art by the rugrats guys or something?

Watch the video, you'll see why.

Theres this then
store.steampowered.com/app/351700/UnReal_World/

Kind of a Scandanavian dwarf fortress, but instead of building up a village I just started as a character that had a spear and took over the nearest settlement by killing everyone. 10/10 realism but didn't feel like much to do after that

holy shit, Stu really is Fred Flinstone

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W O W
O
W

nver ever

Yeah that hentai.
I never actually finished it, stopped around when he did stuff with the witch.

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Just play Resident Evil 5.

While your comment is fun, I still want to play a neanderthal simulator.

Far Cry Cis Caveman edition should had been about neanderthals surviving the invasion of retarded niggers, but of course they made anything relatively white evil.

kek, got me there.

smacking two rocks together is different than huge natural disasters, user. Even cav eman could see that smacking two rocks together caused the sparks not the god but with tornadoes, lightings and such the case wasnt that clear.

lmao kill yourself please

Nephilim simulator when?

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I think you underestimate how hard it is to make sparks with a rock. And considering there are Christians out there that think that their favorite football team winning is the work of God, are you really going to think a caveman wouldn't think that a specific rock getting just the right kind of friction over and over causing a spark isn't the work of a higher being?


Honestly, a game where you're an alien and fuck around with a bunch of cavemen would be hilarious. Something akin to Destroy All Humans.

That sounds really fucking boring and is a good example of why 'ideas guys' are stupid faggots.

Post those /his/ posts.

Maybe a harem of men that can bukkake all over your twink body is more your style, user.

There can only be bad executions.

If we are talking about ancient homo sapiens sapiens then they were just as intelligent as today people.


when you consider how much can luck influence sports it is not as stupid as it sounds.

I miss /his/

Intelligence =/= knowledge, user.
If you're bringing luck into this, isn't there also luck in how long it'll take for two of a specific kind of rock that happen to have a specific amount of dryness and a specific amount of friction to end up sparking?
I'm staring to think you're just a religious person that's getting asshurt over menial things being considered the work of god by cavemen who don't know any better.

Im stating to think that youre just an asshurt fedora who thinks that every menial thing had to be attributed to god by cavemen because "lmao they were stupei and bashed rocks together xDDDD"

Yeah, you definitely outed yourself as a fag who gets asshurt about stuff like that. Little things have always been equated to God, user. Regardless of whether or not he exists. No different than rain being equated to a god. I never said they were stupid. But a caveman wouldn't understand the science behind sparks being made from rocks being banged together, would he?

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You sound like a woman.

You filthy casuals.

>you will never you will never make alliances with other tribes to fight off the invading Conquistadors or Romans

no not the entire science behind it you fucking idiot, but he would understand it came from bashing those rocks together.
I can understand why would they attribute complex things like tsunami or other shit to gods but not the simple and trivial ones.

where the fuck do you think knowledge came from ?

Why would they assume it was just from bashing the rocks together and not something else?

Trial and error and finding things out about the universe. Someone didn't magically figure out the Earth was round just because they had intelligence.


Alternatively, have a game where people do that for you. I wish Molyneux didn't ruin the idea of a god simulator so terribly. I liked the aspect of TS2 where sometimes the sism would stare at you, or Sims Medieval where they literally worshiped you. I want a game where people build massive structures in my honor and throw virgins into a volcano to please me. The one episode of South Park where Cartman puts semen into his tank of seamonkeys that caused them to evolve and eventually create civilization always spoke to me.

all those things, understanding how things interact with each other are based upon human intelligence and logic

because they actually put thought into making fire

Scientific method is just "logic" written down.
Maybe the previous 300 times he banged rocks together, they were different types of rock? The human mind's greatest strength is pattern recognition, we can tell one type of rock from another without being taught about it in school. You might not know the names, but you'd know from experimenting "Rock A + Rock B = spark" and then you could substitute one of the rocks for other types of rocks until you came to the conclusion "only Rock A produces spark when banged on something hard"

Didn't cavemen collected fire from storms at first and fed the same fire wood and other things to fuel over and over?

Dunno, but if true, I doubt they intentionally "collected" it from a storm. They wouldn't know how to attract lightning, it'd likely be raining and their fuel would be saturated, etc. For that theory, probably lightning started a fire once, they lit other things with that fire and kept it going as long as possible, and then after they all went out they were just shit out of luck and tried to find ways to start it again.

Again, you guys underestimate how hard it is to actually create fire, or even make rocks spark. It's not like vidya where you smack 'em a couple times and then boom, fire. It's difficult enough to do that they could assume it was the work of god.

yep they did. they had to take care of fire pretty much constantly before they figured out how to make it with stone tools. My theory is that they "invented" it while they were making stone axes and tools

I could see "lightning is a work of god" because it comes from the sky. Flint, not so much. But I'm sure many people have thought that discovering flint was a gift from god.

Conan exiles?
You start pretty much as a caveman and end up with Iron Age-ish equipment, and you can literally knock NPCS unconscious and break them on your wheel of pain you weren't expecting rape, were you?

Good music on this one.

yeah isnt that basically what prometheus myth is all about? taking creation of fire from the gods,that they were no longer dependend on the creation of fire in the nature (by gods) and they could make it on their own

How fun is Conan Exiles, really? I hear nothing but bad things on here about it, but it does sort of interest me, and I love Conan the Barbarian, though I doubt the game is very similar to the comics.

Depends on your autism.
Combat is shitty but they will make it bearable next update, from what I've seen.
Building is fun, crafting is eh, crafting. And exploring feels nice, especially if there are other players around building stuff.
I think if they deliver what they promised the game will be pretty good. If they don't… well, it will be a passable early access blunder. They do seem to be working on it. I fucking love the climbing feature even though it got a lot of hate from casuls.

watch the video at 5:51, he pretty much gets sparks instantly

I'm going to ask you to do something, user. Go outside and try to start a fire with rocks. Nothing you just ordered online. Just what you find outside.

it's still alive you just have to post there.

Oh, I thought it died after a massive spam in all the boards. The furry faggot one.

Im not sure but I think he metioned thats literally what Otzi used

You know your embed related has it edited so you don't have to sit through how long it took him to actually see sparks, right? And even then it wasn't right away.


Hm. Might look into it, then. Thanks, user.

yes the second vid, but I was talking about the first one

I'd advice not to buy it until next update or so.

Evolution is a myth.

Creation is a fact.

I used to play the shit out of this.

I know you all mean well, but lots of anons have posted old games that had stereotypical cavemen around dinosaurs and shit that mainly act as a gimmick to show 'caveman games.' But that's not what I want. I'm more autistic than that. I want a caveman game that tries to be as accurate as possible.

Conkers Bad Fur Day did it right with a cave man multiplayer mode.

There's nothing stopping you from going outside and doing these things yourself you fat faggot.

Maybe you post your address and I come over and beat your mom then fuck your dad while you watch.

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That's a big caveman

No he's fucking not, he's the same height as the average modern fucking man is.