It's E3 season, post your worst Squilliams and your best report cards

It's E3 season, post your worst Squilliams and your best report cards.

Other urls found in this thread:

gematsu.com/2017/05/ace-combat-7-delayed-2018
nintendo.com/games/detail/the-elder-scrolls-v-skyrim-switch
youtu.be/AQ6tgoM4Fao
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

...

...

someone post the webum

...

You think we might get some good mountain climbing games?

i was more thinking of this

Also where's the report cards? keep it simple

SWEET, SWEET, SWEET VICTORY YEAH

27 days away now, eh?

I feel like Nintendo is gonna win this year

report card

Honestly still a billion times better than gearbox tbh. At least they bother to make a playable game.

Can't be this year, it's confirmed to still be a pretty long way to go. There'll be Fallout 4 VR and probably Starfield instead, mark my word.

Never ever, I'm certain. If there's a chance for Stalker 2 to happen, it would be by Bethesda, just like how Fallout ended up.

I know I'm being naive but surely, surely they can't keep pimping out Skyrim. They must know this can't continue. It's already beyond a joke. Normalfags can't be this retarded.

Normalfags fucking loved Skyrim, I know two that bought it twice. What's going to happen is that Bethesda is going to continue churning out shitty soulless TES games and then sometime around when TES9 comes out the normalfag hivemind will finally decide that it's okay to criticize the games, and normalfags will talk about how they miss the good old TES games like Skyrim 2.

TES 6 won't come out anytime soon. No rumors, no footages, null. At least you can be sure that it won't be Skyrim 2.

It's going to be great this year, I can feel it.

maybe this year it will be bad enough to push me to kill myself.

here's hoping it will

Be sure to live stream it

AC7 is already reported to come 2018.
gematsu.com/2017/05/ace-combat-7-delayed-2018
That's a very optimistic report card.

Stop twisting the knife, user. None of that is ever going to happen. You might as well say that the next iteration of Advance Wars is going to be unveiled too.

Fucking why user. Did you read best card as pick the one that will hurt the most?

Even if GSC Gameworld is back, It would be too good to be true to hear them saying they would be announcing STALKER 2

>"so GAMERS"
>"haha well gamers do i have a treat for you"

template plz

here's my report card

...

whats more likely to be show off at e3 this year hl3 or tsukuime remake or fallout new vegas 2?

The mods may have started deleting my ">x days until E3" threads, but at least the spirit still exists.

My report cards. R8 them M8s.

7/10 breddy gud

Gud shit

How fucking useless are you that you can't even open that in paint.net and erase the text?


God I hope so, I want to see some gameplay footage.

That might actually happen considering they usually shill a ton of indies.
I'm more interested in Bonerlorr though

I don't think many indies that aren't making pixelshit platformers with deep messages get much air time, if any.
I know HM2, published by a fairly known company with a good fanbase, wasn't invited nor were their requets accepted, so they had to do their show in a caravan they parked across the street.

Only big group I have any hope left in is Nintendo. It'll all be rehashes and ports, and yet that will still blow everyone out of the water.
All I really want is MHXX localisation, maybe MH5 teased and maybe a Pokemon spin off or DPP remake.

Not even going to make a card this year. I rarely watch it live anyways, and just check here or a news site for a list.

When does the proper schedule get released?

Why? Just play it now with the menu patch, I finished it weeks ago. They need to move on from 4th gen and make sure 5 is leagues better or they've officially lost my interest, get back on a console of some kind because the 3DS gameplay has worn out its welcome.

BINGO INCOMING
Thanks to the user from the last E3 thread, I was able to take a majority of his spaces and apply it to a much cleaner, smaller bingo card to fit on more screens.

I'm already playing XX with the patch, I just want it localised so my friend who doesn't like piracy can play with me.

Nice work


I think Devolver just choose not too, they showed Strafe during the event.
Nigger I'll hit you

I don't think the switch will not get third party support, due how unusually well some third party titles sold on the switch, but i don't think anyone was planning to do any serious game for the switch before the launch either, and everyone that will jump on the switch board did it around april.

The end result is that nintendo will have quite a few "titles" to announce, as in basically the title names, and probably even some straight lies, like companies getting the PS4 footage and downscaling the picture to 900/720p to pretend it is running on the switch.

So, i think there is a possibility of our ol friend, the "render target" to make a comeback on nintendo's show.

XX is already out. They'll just rush a Gen2 localisation then MH5 on the Switch.


Apparently Snake Pass took 6 days to port to the Switch on UE4. If it's that easy to port UE4, and they said it was equally easy for Unity, I think they'll be a lot of people porting already released games or quickly adding the Switch to a launch just to eek out more numbers.

Yes, UE4/Unity and Capcom/Nintendo games are trustworthy.
But likes of ubisoft, i don't think so.

To add it probably only took those 6 days to rename and retexture the button icons for the Switch port. It seems pretty convenient.

The Konami keynote of 2010 is still the best thing to have come out of E3.

hi

My expectations for E3 are lower every year, and every year they fail to meet those expectations.

The Sims: Star Wars™
Yves Guillemot's "onemorssing" will be a Splinter Cell reboot

Oh, Minecrap! I cannot wait to play Minecrap. Do you know what my favorite thing to do is in Minecrap? I love building bricks with Minecrap. Building bricks with Minecrap is the best thing and the most amount of fun you can have while playing an app. I understand why all the kids are playing this game these days – it's because they like to build brown bricks with Minecrap. I also like to build brown bricks with Minecrap. It's the most fun you can possibly have. What is the point of Minecrap?

...

I should remove that, shouldn't I

...

do it right now

k

Man I wish I could draw.

I suppose all good things must come to an end, even if they've been somewhat neglected.

Those threads always seemed to turn into Penny porn dumps with art by Apostle and that other guy, the Italian title music of that show and then other Italian intros before eventually getting deleted.
Italian cartoon intros are weird, man. I think the broadcasting stations either didn't want to pay the licenses for the original intros or there was some other weird legislation stuff going on, so they rolled their own, sometimes to hilarious effect.

Oh, yeah, this Batman one is the best.
Fits the dark themes of the show perfectly.

...

I hate that dog so much. Every time I see I can only think about how much better the ara-loli combo was.

face it cuck, the dog will always be better

Whatever dogfucker.

New Joint Ops when

I just pretend its a cuntboy

the video was already a meme you dumbass

Absolutely beautiful work user, thanks for improving my work
Here's the graphically inferior version if anyone wants it

Fuck you, you're a meme

Thanks for the base, user, made it a lot easier this year for me

You can shut up, now.
I'm always on duty.

IT ALWAYS… ENDS LIKE THIS

It will be shit, I'm only looking forward to God of War and maybe the spooderman game

Do you also like getting your ass fucked as well faggot?

The Xbone green letters are hard to make out, no?

What do you recommend installing instead?

sad

He bought a PS4 and wants to play Dad of War.
What do you think?


Heres the schedule

Pretty good

Someone should swap a space on the PC gamer side for "Games Engine is used as a marketing tool AKA "POWERED BY [Engine Name]" " since that seems to be a trend as of late

...

What the fuck happened to your font rendering?

the same thing that happened to your mom last night

POST YFW WE GET MORE MEGA MILK BABES

...

Anything else? Earlier versions of windows or linux distro of your choice?

She was poorly downsampled and exported?

Why "mega milk"? Did I miss something?

Fucking kikes.

I had no idea this even existed until two days ago.
Who the fuck came up with that shit tier name ? Also when the fuck did consoles life spans become so short ? Is it just that the "next gen" consoles were really just steaming piles of shit and were pushed out too early ? Or was there really improvements on computer architecture that allowed consoles to get a noticeable boost from the PS4, Xbone release to now ? Because honestly, I highly doubt there is the tech to justify an upgrade.

But holy shit man, that name is like something a 13 year old would think up on Deviant Art.

I asked my family to get me video games at the mall. while I stayed at home. should I feel guilty

Yeah. Just ask them for expandable memory and PIRATE EVERYTHING.

...

leave please

jesus fucking christ

this must be the thicc craze at work, everyone seems to only care about beefy girls

Kill yourself.

I know about Mega Milk, I just want to know what's the link between it and E3.

...

The Treehouse girl

OH HER, now I get it, I completely forgot about her until you reminded me.

...

Can I dick you before you an hero?
It would be a waste otherwise.

7 and 8.1 had the cancer patched in as critical updates. Unless you're planning to go back to Vista or XP you're better off with 10.

I thought they were just-normal sized. Maybe above average, but not that big.

I'll be the fag laughing in the audience whenever they fuck up.

If you're retarded enough to do so you deserve your spyware.

Or if he isn't retarded like you he'll just install the original 7 without SP1 (the SP1 iso has telemetry updates), install the SP1 pack and disable automatic updates.

This post will be screencapped and uploaded to r/Holla Forums with no further context. Good job user, you fucked up.

I don't care.

Stay there and don't ever come back.

...

Eh, I guess you've got a point.

I didn't have any other mega milk pics and I was too lazy to find some. Also, I don't have any Wendy's in my country.

Scream "Crackdown 3 Baybee" when the screen goes black so we know you're there.

Enjoy your ransomware.

Fixes

theyre 3d

Ive never seen someone so wrong before

Kill yourself pajeet.

They weren't even that big to begin with.

They released a graphical update for it that looked worse then the base game with a couple mods. Yes, their "fans" are really that retarded.

...

Wanted to do a better version of this but I have absolutely no drive to do anything

here's a better grab of that image friendo

I have found my calling.

I don't go to Holla Forums and that shit triggers me

Hey faggots

New report card

I really appreciate the user who updated the green one I made last year, but I think I'm gonna keep making my own new ones. Feel free to use Space E3™

We put far too much effort into E3 every year
Thank you user

...

Trips of truth right there.
The dog is completely ignoring the entire point of a tan in favor of looking like the console. It's objectively stupid and wrong, and is only pushed because "m-muh doggo".

...

This is DeviantArt tier bitching. How about you make your own shitty console OC, bub?

I don't know where you're getting your "catastrophically mad". I just cannot abide anons acting like redditors and favoring feels over logic. The dog isn't a tan, plain and simple.

I'm ready.

Schedule / Report Card. Been doing this one since 2015. I'll update it when Devolver posts a start time and date, which may mean it'll move from its spot. I'd also like Nintendo's other two start times.

If anyone finds the little things like Xbox Daily and Playstation blog times, I'll add those as well.
And maybe a bonus row, since everyone seems to want one, but I'll do that later.

/thread

Devolver is winning this E3, no contest. Ever since they announced that they were going to have their own conference they already won. The only downside is pic related.

How comes that there are so many rumia edits with Hitler?

At least it won't be boring
Probably cringy though

Which one of these is the official report card stop fucking making so many.

...

it's a diy kind of thing

Reminder that ESA is trash.
>regularly, at least 3 hours a week

Here you go.

Are you the autistic clown I permabrigged?

What do you think they are?

How fucking stupid are you faggots that you cant understand what user was asking?

They're newfags pretending to fit in, that user obviously posted Mega Milk while asking about a reference only the 5 autists who watched Nintendo direct last year would know.

I secpnd this as the official report card

NuWolfenstein 2 and Commander Keen Reboot

Where all of you are going to watch E3?

Skyrim and Fallout 4.

The Best Gamers E3 Stream

New Elder Scrolls?
I know it's gonna be some TESO shit and fucking shit in general, but can't I just delude myself for a moment feel the sweet scent of optimism once more, even for a moment?

user, e3 is for laughing at not getting your hopes up. only pain is down that path.

So it's full of shit that is poorly made and doesn't work very well? Sounds like a standard fair amusement park alright.

...

Usually each conference has their own stream on both Youtube and Twitch.
Either way, get "Livestreamer" now or you'll be crying about stuttering browser video from threads refreshing unless Holla Forums crashes again.

Okay so you admit to being an Indian being paid to shill for a fast foot joint at 2 cents per hour.

...

Wasn't the last one hosted by AMD?

Yes.

What's wrong with siivagunner?

Just saw the graphic for the new show. original user was right. It is intel shilling.

...

...

RIP AMD Vega announcements.

?

They are gonna have one? Also posting report card, didn't know that Devolver will have a conference so probably will update.

You forgot Skyrim on the switch but otherwise a pretty good card.

In all fairness Vega is a GPU so its not really competing with Intel so there might be room somewhere for that if not a very brief segment.
Is anyone really still hype for Vega after Ryzens lackluster launch?

Wasn't confirmed that Skyrim on switch won't happen? even if not it's a fucking 2011 game getting ported way too late so I don't really care.

Skyrim Remastered made the shitty game relevant again for casuals. I could see that getting ported over

Don't know about that but it's still on the official Nintendo website

nintendo.com/games/detail/the-elder-scrolls-v-skyrim-switch

I know you're trolling but goddamn that hurts

...

this might be my favorite meme of the past decade

What's wrong with Microsoft Word though?

I never watched E3 before. Is any user gonna stream it here?

Don't do that.

Don't waste your time.

...

Cool, didn't think that'd catch on.

Why is everybody using this report card?
It doesn't include Devolver's showcase on it.

Because it's the 2016 one edited to change the 6 into a 7, and with an extra row at the bottom. I haven't seen the proper 2017 card outside this thread, it's new to me, probably new to other people too.

...

I saved my card as a photoshop file and all the layers are intact, so I can easily edit it each year.

She's not even that big tittied.

This, but even better if you do it in a virtual machine with pci passthrough with Linux as the host and a non-systemd init system like openrc. You'd need another GPU but it works on my machine.™

More so than 90% of women you see in the day, but less so than 90% of porn models, true.

Why do jews have big tits?

porn models are fake as shit though. always infuriating to see one get fake tits when most of them started out with normal ones and actually looked better with em.

A new engine and a new TES game

Here you go user, updated and all, now stop bitching and post yours.

*cow tits
Because Jewesses are subhuman, and this also confirms anyone who is into cow tits to be weak subhumans.
Don't forget short and wide-hipped, big-thighed. Sort of matriarchal; the typical Jew is scrawny and pathetic, the typical Jewess is fat and a cunt.

...

...

I just noticed the geometry of the space in this picture is non-euclidean

What a qt camera

...

this nigga knows what's up

...

...

see

I've never seen an assfag this desperate to justify his Subsaharan-Africa-tier preference

Did you read the part about Jewesses' legs?
I like tits, but like pic related.

*Also, cowtits are of a fat woman, and fat women should be instinctually repulsive.

E3 doesnt even have Hydrobot. Why even live?

Anyone know if THQNordic are putting up anything?
They and Devolver are all I have hope for.

...

I want to fuck that

I cannot say she has big breasts, but they sure look nice.

Someone pointed out that Watch Dogs is not by Bethesda, which made me realize how little I care about these fucking things anymore. It all blends in for me.
last image was too small to read fuck me

...

You better have not made that yourself user.

Dug up my report card from 2016.

They're going to win
Then again, that's like beating a pigeon at chess.

They haven't won E3 since 2006. Stop kidding yourself

Like using a fidget spinner compared to unusuable trash

B-But Muh Zelda, Th-They'll make a new metroid/F-Zero game, I…I swear!!!

user, there's no competition. They're the only company with the POTENTIAL of making a fun game.


What the fuck are those things, anyway?


But Metroid and F-Zero are shit.
I'm just hoping for a new fucking Kirby, that's all. Barring that and a new Animal Crossing, they're worthless to me.

Sony won 2015 with one of the best conferences in history and Microsoft won 2016 by simply focusing on games and that's just off the top of my head. Even when Nintendo fulfilled wishes like Starfox Zero they still managed to find a way to sabotage it for themselves. That's how mentally bankrupt Nintendo is, how they literally had a fucking royal flush and they folded.

Ah, so you were baiting. Now it makes sense.

Well, you didn't get points on that one.

It's a one hit wonder console that will completely freeze in sales by next year. Mark my words

Is that the argument here? Because all that Sony has is a remake of a mediocre RPG and gimmicks.
And Microsoft has Rare's Pirate game thing. Hey, maybe Robin Beanland will make some good fucking songs for that, at least.


Are you implying that either of those series' are good?
F-Zero is about as mediocre as any racing series ever was, and Metroid was always shit.

So you're implying that even with an ten year streak of bad E3s, Nintendo will suddenly win this one?

As I said earlier, they're the only one with the potential to make a fun game.
If they don't, then everyone's shit as expected and I go back to playing my backlog.

Again, Nintendo could take something unfuckupable and fuck it up. Look at Starfox Zero. They could have a lineup that beats Nintendo E3 2006 and Sony E3 2015 combined and they'd still fuck it up all because Nintendo has been practically killing themselves through abhorrent management since the mid 90s

Fuckoff brand loyal retards


Consider suicide bub

I'm not saying it is the best of all time, I'm saying that it's up there simply because of the FFVII remake, Last Guardian and Shenmue III. Nobody in their right mind would've predicted that shit.

Also, I get brand loyalty is bad, I don't own a single 8th gen console and I have no interest in buying one. I'm simply picking what's least shit and moving on because I have nothing better to do.

What is: The Wii?
Unit sales only count for the first 18 months, really.
After that, they expect the main source of income from the games.


It's not really about who wins.
It's about who sucks the least.

Yeah, and Muhammad could fly a plane into the fucking building and save all of us from the cringe. I just want some fun fucking games. Theoretically, anything could happen.

Honestly, just remembered it, and the only thing that I want from either MS' or Sony's event is the SOUNDTRACK to Kingdom Hearts 3, as Yoko Shimomura is a fucking Goddess.

I doubt that Ninty will make a new Kirby so soon, that's probably for E3 2018. But Animal Crossing was in 2013 or something, it's right about time for one. And considering the other companies have NOTHING of any substance for me, one good fucking game would decide it for me, I don't care how shit everything else is.

Honestly, Nintendo may win me this year. All they'd have to do is show more of this. (Although ideally I'd prefer a PC version.)

I want a Persona-like game where you date the personas
I wanna waifu Mara, dang it

You mean you want to shill for nintendo for free like the good goy you are?

Considering that I despise most of their IPs?
Sure, let's go with that.

...

It's Blizzard that make theme parks, not Beth.

Nigger it was fucking awful, compare it to something to the 2006 E3 and tell me that garbage is even worth a spit in the mediocre spot.

It was fucking trash and only the top of the shit crop because it actually showed game trailers in a row instead of countless minutes of talking and awful as fuck showcases.


It sure as fuck wasn't Nintendo, I'll tell you that much.
The fact that they showed the Treehouse niggers was enough to bring it to shit tier.
They showed two mediocre as fuck games and that was it.


Please leave

Nigger please

But user.
Themeparks are fun.

Wasted Dubs.

The only Beth game I played recently was FO3 and that was more a barren wasteland than a theme park.
Skyrim looks similar and so does FO4.
If you really want to see theme park gameplay, try playing WoW.

I know, I know Atlus are past their prime. But who isn't?

Toby Fox

Not if all the rides are shit


Just play any modern MMO
Where do you think "Rollercoaster MMO comes from?
But user, look at that funny house you can kill looters/Super Mutants on, oh boy you just discovered a new location.
its a themepark where you're railroaded on the missions depite the Open World

Sandlot

If only. How long until the NEET Bomber strikes?

Atlus will announce Etrian Odyssey V in the west, Adam Sessler will die from a cocaine overdose that is all that will happen that isn't a total trainwreck.

lol

...

SIKE
LOOK CLOSER SUCKER
Its from the card game!

Gotta tell you it was really clever. Not sure how I'm gonna keep that fresh next year

Oh yeah. That fucking thing existed as well.

...

ONE

I'm fairly certain the yarn guy was Sony, mi amigo.

Is there a weird trend with Wendy mascot I'm not aware about?

They hired a meemster to run their twitter account and now the goyim are marketing to themselves for free.

I'd beef her.

She's sitting RIGHT ON HIS DICK.

I want Wendy to sit RIGHT ON MY DICK.

...

...

Since Skyrim came out I'd been expecting TES 6 to go to the armor system of Fallout 3/NV, but I have to give credit where credit is due: they did expand the armor system compared to their previous games for Fallout 4. It may turn out that they keep that for Skyrim 2.

Source?

Too lazy to grab a template and shop text onto it so here's hopes/predictions:
- Nintendo
>Will show literally nothing anyone wants aside from Mario or Zelda and will continue to make shitty compromises on what could've been good games I really want another Wario Land game like a good one though
- Sony
- Xbox
- Ubisoft
- EA
- PC
- Bethesda

Ah finally. The proof I've needed to show how le smug wendy maymay posters are ultra-cancerous mega-new newfags.
seriously what kind of tool shills an american corporate restaurant chain's mascotfor free?

...

hope for the best, expect for the worse.

...

Why cuckoldry in the pc one? I didn't know Antony Burch was invited.

...

TES6 won't come out because Bethesda can't get their game to run on single digits on Xbone.

...

Dude Wendy's has some damn good burgers compared to pretty much every other fast food place, that fact that we get are getting tons of smug sexy Wendy art is a plus for me.

I've just got a gut feeling.

Daily reminder that the Colonel is objectively the best food mascot and is well loved in Japan.

...

...

As long as the necessary physics and graphics for porn improve, im cool.

Damn it. AAA and indie shit can burn, give me AA!

...

why watch e3 when i can clear my backlog and play freeware & f/oss stuff

It's funny how a blatant corporate tie-in comic was actually more fun to read and better written than a shit ton of actual, "serious" comics released by Marvel and DC around the same time.

lol gay

this must be paid shills.

...

I guarantee you that over 50% of the things I've written will happen or come true. The Bonus section is an easy +80% probability on each one individually.

made several revisions, but I think this will be my final.

Not really. Also it sounds like it's just going to be an extended MS conference as well. But then Surveys have gone out regarding Halo MCC and 343i have said there's no Halo 6 or spin offs this E3 but there's a "small announcement" which is likely MCC getting updated for Scorpio, including Halo 3 Anniversary but also coming to PC as well (Kills two birds with one stone).

here

It's only your fault if you fall for dubious shit

Segay pls


Do you make synthwave?

Made a shitty bingo template

Nice

If you hate it so much, why don't you draw ara loli?

Here's the low-down.

Someone asked the Wendy's twitter account about their claim of their beef patties being never frozen, and instead of some canned PR talk, they fired back with sass. Things caught on, and soon, the twitter account was dishing out "burns" for people's amusement. People personified this with a sexy version of Wendy, of course.

How many of these people forget Wendy is a real person?

Holy shit, I was just kidding about the next Far Cry being in America.

I made an actual shitty template.

The real Wendy is a fatty, anyway. I like the fake Wendy.

SHE FUCKS NIGGERS nintencucks.

...

That's a Fuck template, user. Let me show you a real shitty template.

This is getting out of hand

r8 and h8

bamp

KFC food is fucking shitty, though.

I assume its better in Japan, considering it's actually tradition to eat KFC during Christmas there.

hhh

And somehow I still expect to come out of e3 disappointed

...

Which would confirm the multiverse theory, because there's no way that could happen in this reality

How about just slightly less shit than before, then.

All I fucking care about is media molecule's Dreams, and if they don't announce a new beta release date I'm gonna kill myself

...

What the fuck is this
Teach me this lore, I seem to vaguely remember that guy who works with the AVGN and who has a huge dick and fucked AVGN's (((wife))) had something to do with this

...

Holy shit, you can't be this fucking new

ima be at e3 youtu.be/AQ6tgoM4Fao

Made some changes to this. Blue backdrops always look better IMO. Shrunken Grade column & overall longer chart. I dunno schedule, but there are fields for it. I export these rather large because of all the tiny text people cram into them would be unreadable at lower resolutions.

Why are people giving Devolver their own row? Isn't Devolver only going to be showing up on the PC stream? FYI, Devolver already said there would be no Serious Sam 4 at E3.

Trips of truth.

it's good in Japan where American-style fried chicken doesn't exist at all and there are no standards for it

anyone got any full written up bingo cards? I like taking several people's and making a drinking game out of it

.

...