Hellblade will be a shitty AAA game but with half the price and half its length

oneangrygamer.net/2017/05/hellblade-will-be-half-the-price-and-half-the-length-of-typical-aaa-game/30197/

>Make an independent AAA game

Jesus fuck how stupid is Tam Tam?
How is Ninja Theory not bankrupt yet?

I don't think the idea itself is inherently bad, but Tameem won't pull off a good game.

Average action games aren't very long so what like 4-6 hours?

At least it isn't full price, but regardless I don't think Ninja theory has anyone capable of making a good action game.

rip tamtam

Not in a million sales, Tammy.

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so it's gonna be 1 hour long?

4-6 hours is about the length of your average game, so half of that.

I have yet to see anyone talk about this. Not surprising however since the most recent thing these fucks have made was a shitty DMC and some Disney cash grab.

FUCK YOU

If they want me to pay 30-40 bucks for a game that game must be enjoyable for at least 3 or 4 hundred hours. Fucking kikes.

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The only thing I can remember about Tameem's new game is the protagonist looks like she has ultra down syndrome. Not even just regular down syndrome, at least a whole tier above and beyond it. Also apparently her being mentally unstable is a major plot and somehow selling point, though I suspect it's just going to be used as an excuse for nothing about the story making any sense.

I want a game where you get to play a downie.

well put

it's called Mass Effect Andromeda

Soooooo, they go independent but they want to keep all the shitty things "AAA" implies?

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Will female warrior protagonist #2688885 be half as strong and independent as well?

I am thoroughly convinced that the only people who like Ninja theory's games are people who are shit at playing games.
Like Totalbiscuit Like DmC but he said that he never beat DMC4 beacuse he couldn't get by this room Pic related like how much to you got to fucking suck to be unable to mash B to get across a gap.

Do they even understand the value of money?

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That's pretty retarded of him.

I'm not going to lie, I've had issues with that room too, but like "take a few minutes longer than it should" issues, not "drop the whole fucking game" issues.

There's that to look forward to, if they ever start rounding up people and torturing them by forcing the prisoners to play awful video games, you might end up with that one in your cell.

Is that the one where taemeem said "FUCK YOU, I'M GOING TO MAKE HER MUSCULAR AND STRONK BECAUSE AS A FUCK YOU TO THE MALE GAYMERS" only to his surprise that nobody had any complaints and sexualized her anyways because chicks with muscles are hot.

That's what they said early on, but if you look up pictures of how she looks now she doesn't look particularly muscular at all, she looks like a lanky asian boy with down syndrome.

WEW
Well there goes all my intrest in that train wreck. I'll give it the time of day when people start to shit on it.

Ugh, she better have a dick!

who

Somewhere between extremely and catastrophically.
My guess would be they have a publisher backing them or something.

That man is my hero.

They changed the name a little to add Senua's Sacrifice as a subtitle, you know, to remind you you're playing a strong girl and such.

I follow him on twitter and he RT other artists muscle girls. I wish he was more active.

I really want this to fail. I want every game this ugly fuck makes to bear the stinking taint of complete failure. I had no idea DmC got me this salty but goddamn, I fucking hate this guy.

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Sunshine was underrated as fuck.

I'm trying to find that picture of him getting buttflustered over some shitposters, it always cheers me up

i forgot hellblade even exists, the only promo material i ever seen saw about it was the studio jerking themselves off over the fact they made the main character a full blown sperg

Why did journolists get so rectum ravaged over the fact that no one liked donte?

It was probably the first time they realized how little influence they really had.

They're pretty much friends with Tam Tam.
Pics related.

Man, what a beautiful fiasco it was.

FUCK YOU

They always get asshurt whenever one of their own get's criticism from those icky gamers.

Carlin was the Jews making fun of the audience by selling them a turd. We all get it. People are very susceptible to herd mentality and marketing. But the Jews never get tired of it. They also love to tell people what they're doing while they do it, and how there's nothing but material reality, which was all part of Carlin's demoralizing shtick. His first audience was probably fake and they used the fake audience to sell to real fools. That's how everything is.

More like the co-opted podcast amirite

NinjaTheory is still alive?
How?
everything they've made has been a flop
Both mechanically and comercially
And it's a damn shame cus there is some actuall talent in that studio, their games are bad, but a particularly kind of bad
As in very well made bad
A flawless execution of badness
they made 4 games i know of
a fun smash bross rip off, relying more in level design and minigames than character skills
A nice way to kill time with friends
a cutsceene heavy hack n slash with a "rock, papper scisors" syle combat, QTE's up the ass and gimmik with the six axis that was fun to mess around, other than that, it was rather meh and short game
A scy-fy interpretation of Journey to the west with the character names and little more
combat is also "Rock, Papper , Scisors" it has plataforming but its just make the game a very twisted linear path cus you must always jump to whatever has a target of "jump here" in order to progress and it has some chest high walls to duck behind when there's an enemy turret nearby, a very mh game, but enjoyabe at least
Here we made it to the wet warm core of the ninja theory dog turd
i'd be here all day if i name what they got wrong so i try to elavorate on what they got right yes there is some
That's about it, i can't really think of any other good thing about this game
You can tell ninja theory has people who know how to model in 3D, how to animate, how to make mehcanically functional games, how smoth out most performance issues, it's a damn shame that they never used those skills to make something actually good and it's infuriating that the studio is so damned arrogan and condencending towards the consumers whom they obviously see as tasteless plevians, not to mention how fucking narcisistic the studios's big boss is and how much the (((press))) likes to suck up to him for some reason
They would probably be more respected if they hadn't taken such a steamin crap on a beloved IP only to shit on the fans when they called him out on it

So it's AAA length then, the New Prey game is only like 10 max

Threadly reminder that Total Ass Cancer has to play everything on easy and is totally incapable of playing any kind of puzzle games because he has an actual brain disorder.

How is it still worth 30-40 dollars. 10 maybe. But 30 for a couple of hours?

They had some kind of public funding for something along the lines of promoting British culture.

Why is that any entertainment studio that gets government funding is shitty?

they don't have to work as much to get funding

Huh, really?

I'm too used to Platinum titles then, Bayonetta 1-2 and the Wonderful 101 took like 10-13 hours to complete my first go, hell even the DMC games clocked around that time too I guess I'm too used to above average games