Watching so many religious movies on this easter made me carve for a game where you defend your nation aganist the...

Asterix on Game Boy Advance is the most amazing GBA game ever made.

i wouldn't mind a game where i could play as a viking or a roman footsoldier, its tough to get a decent mediaval combat game with somewhat grounded combat

For Honor looked cool but that was about it

What about Ryse goyim?

yeah shame how that turned out

I was asking about the nudity partially because after For Honor I realized just how horribly wrong everything in the game was. Vikings not wearing chainmail and gambeson. That fucking retarded and ugly side shave. The armor the Samurai are wearing, pretty much everything in it is a horrible and twisted version of historical warriors that have no real roots in reality.

Only the wealthy one wears chainmail, i never heard of vikings wearing gambeson though, i know that the poorer ones wear tunics.

That's very far besides the point. If you want to go that route, go talk about how rich the Samurai and Knights are.

But again that's far besides the point, so don't even bother because its not part of the discussion.

i can let a certain amount of historical inaccuracies slide if the combat makes up for it or its not boasting its realism, but for honor didn't really deliver that

how hard is it to make a fun historical action game without air combos and magic

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Well shit, oops. But i still never heard of vikings wearing gambesons though.

What exactly did you think they wore into combat? Padded armor is the absolute shit for keeping entire armies alive on a budget, and makes way more sense than (((hollywood)))'s half naked pale-negroids clad in bone, wood, and stud-filled leather.

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Like i said, all i know is that the richer ones wore chainmails, and the poorer ones wear tunics.

wew

Besides a few good Emperors, what have the Romans ever done for us?
Carthage should've won the Punic Wars

Don't be silly. Most of the equipment used by professional or levied soldiers was of the loaned variety, while only veterans mercs especially could afford or bother to keep personal equipment past a sword, a bow and likely knives. Padded armor was affordable, didn't require special fitting and had the added benefit of keeping your ass from freezing on those comfy scandinavian nights. What's more it was often used in tandem with some form of mail to maximize protection and help the fit.

The craftsmen, most of the nobles and the traders generally bought their way out of the levy in that true it ain't me starts playing style.

How about indoor plumbing and mass produced soap? :^)

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Probably plumbing is the only thing you got going for the Romans, and that wasn't a new concept, the Hittites did that way before the Romans. And they did it without lining everything with lead. And the Romans weren't too big on soap, they were more about dem oils, it's a reason why the Romans said the barbarians smelled, especially the Germanic ones, since the barbarians were all about the soap.

Fuck off retard.

Gambesons are mostly from statues, images and tales which are not neccesarily accurate. But there's definite proof of chainmail. And it just stands to reason that they'd have the same level of rudimentary protection that literally any other country did. Especially considering their skill at strategy (with things such as inventing their own testudo formation), making shields, mail and weapons. Not to mention other things such as jewelry, agriculture, etc.

Video related.

1488 praise kek deliver user from this meme hell

Most religious movies wouldn't depict the Roman empire in general. Assuming OP means Christian movies, they'd probably focus on the province of Judea during the time of Jesus or shortly afterward. In such a case, the only people who would be defending their nation would be the filthy Kikes, trying to shoo off Roman invaders who were having their way with Jewish women, interrupting their religious services and moving towards assimilating them.

Low functioning autists like you should be banned on sight. Fuck off retard.

Name one religious movie that depicts the Roman empire fighting Gauls and Germanic tribesmen.

Absolutely. You know how hard it was to get your tumblrcut to have the precise volume or bounce and your nails that to die for shine on the battlefield? Also do you know how hard is to keep your maskara from running when you just slept in a hut made from mud and twigs while your ten cousins and the family cow shared your straw bed? Ugh, brutal.

Bottom line we wuz clean, noble and free before the Romans came and took it away.

Oh, and scented oils, makeup and perfumes were mostly a middle eastern thing Greeks copied. Contrary to established gladiator porn Romans generally preferred soaking in baths.

Take that disgusting side shave and stick it right back up your SJW ass.

user… shut up.

Romans didn't soak in baths. They used olive oil to pull the dirt from their pores, then rinsed off in the bath. Germans used soap made from animal fat, which pretty much worked under the same principle. Celts were fucking disgusting.

Soaking in baths still doesn't mean they used cleaning oil for themselves bro. And please don't use retarded shield-maiden bullshit it ruins any legitimacy you're trying to bring to the table. Also not everything was mud huts, you do understand populations often times use the resources that are around them to make their homes. Lastly you do understand that a lot of Romans also lived in said kinds of huts outside the major cities right?

I thought they did soak themselves for a while, even after they applied and rinsed off the oils

Didn't you know the Romans were pale, blonde and blue-eyed?

In all seriousness, try Total War. I couldn't really get into them, but maybe you'll like it.

Like, what have they ever done for us right?

Vikings wearing gambesons are news for me, thanks for letting me know.

Hey that's what YOU're implying :^)

Anyways I just dislike how people view the surround non-Roman groups as absolute retards.

Sounds like something your average SJW would enjoy to be honest.

World of difference between Roman era Germanic tribes and Eastern Roman Varangian applicable ones. Hell, a world of difference between Roman era and Eastern Roman era Romans.

That's false, actually. For one thing because those too poor to afford a decent house generally lived on leased land or in some form of tenement style insula. Anything less would be both illegal from a public fire safety and taxation law or plain shameful for a citizen.

Wool's cheap, warm and easy to work with. Also fairly decent in cushioning a blow or reducing the depth of a stab or a puncture. What's the mystery?

OP here, i didn't wanted to play these kind of games because of hatred of romans, but because being aganist the roman army is something challenging, speacially in the imperial period when their regiments were a multi-propourse adaptable unit, a game focuzed on roman expansion towards persia would be good, if you want to sperg about barbarians vs romans go to >>>his

Carthage had all those fancy stuff too, yet romans respected the civilized conquered nations that had these kinds of development

You wanted a sperg thread, you posted a sperg thread. You get a sperg thread.

or maybe i just wanted to chill >>>/his/

Just stop pretending, faggot.

But i'm just playing along with your "joke" user :^)

I didn't view all of those non-Roman people as absolute retards, i'm impressed by some of those people actually. Me shitting on the "barbarians" is just a joke user :^)

The thought of Scandinavian people having the idea of making a multiple layers of wool/cotton to be a protective clothing didn't cross my mind.

What the fuck did you expect posting in Holla Forums, nigger?

what are you trying to say? That Romans conquered Carthage despite them having the same fancy stuffs as Romans? I don't see the problem here, Romans being expansional and Carthage being Rome's long lived nemesis.

kys

The Romans did Engineering better than just about anybody at that time, in fact some of their structures still stand today. But that doesn't mean the "Barbarians" (Which is btw a straw-man term in itself because it makes you assume their savagery, and that term is almost always used as a pejorative) were dumb. They are infact white Europeans who could survive the winters just fine before the Romans subjugated them. They also had some of the best Metallurgy of the time, using and producing things like Broadswords, Helmets, Chainmail etc.

The main problem with people assuming they were savage, is that they didn't have the writing the Romans had, so most of our knowledge about how they lived are from ROMAN documents, and most of those are less-than flattering. Not to say the Barbarians didn't write shit, they just didn't have the industrial levels of paper that the Romans produced, meaning they couldn't keep documents like the Romans were so obsessed with.

That being said, OP,
play Europa Barbarorum II. It's a mod for Medieval 2 and is quite well-done. I particularly like the way javelins work in that mod, with a full running animation as well as it breaking up enemy formations (and your own if you're not careful) The dev team seems to be autistically fixated on the historicity of that period, in fact the mod actually gives you a "report" every ingame year describing what happened historically.

Another less-known option would be to play Pie's Ancient Europe. It's a mod for Civ4, again, it's well-done and quite fun. I really enjoy the way almost no unit goes completely out of use (No gunpowder-rush, meaning no obsolete units) and the fantasy-styled world generations can be very fun, with mountains acting as a barrier and nations being placed roughly where they should be (Germans will be placed in areas with heavy forrests and frigid temperatures, Romans near a coast I.E.) And Technology trees for each nation. Meaning it's way harder for the Germans for instance to research City-states or Paper, while the Greeks will have an easier time with that.

If you're asking for a more action-oriented game, try for Mount and Blade. It gets repetitive quick, but at least it's fun to chop-down some retarded AI.

Well okay..a-a-user

I wanted to avoid Total war because of the bad AI and historical inaccuaricies, i see that they might have most of those issues fixed but, do they fixed the AI and the dimplomacy AI?

Fuck that shit, everything piles up into a mass blob of combat that doesn't fucking end, i threw elite hoplites against some levy hoplites and the fucking fight stood at a fucking draw both sides having equal casualties with no progress. The unit replenishment also took forever i'll literally spam end turn for half an hour before it fills up JUST so i can replenish the depleted unit. EB 1 is better.

AFAIK they did make changes, but as far as "fixed" goes I'd say no. I played as the Germans my first play-through and like any totalwar game there comes a point where the difficulty is almost completely diminished by said bad AI. That being said, I'd say it's still worth at least one play-through.

Unrelated, but what is the name of that type of meme? I've never been able to find it.

niggerwalk

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Rich viking heritage like the first transatlantic ships?

I remembered that 0 A.D. exists, any news on that?

Patrician-tier semi-fantasy RPG, rich in mythological and historical details, with full campaigns for both the Celts and Romans. As with all Spiderweb games, it's regularly maintained and remade to work on modern systems whenever compatibility drops.

Also, note that this was Vogel's magnum opus that he fully poured his heart into, and its underwhelming sales numbers compared to his other games were what broke his artistic spirit, making him the bitter and dejected dev targeting dumbed down mobile casuals he is today.

Is it better than Geneforge?

you can sail that distance on a fucking raft. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vital_Alsar_Pacific_raft_expeditions
The reason why nobody else did at the time was because there was no reason to think there would be anything of note in that direction, not because they couldn't do it.

Yes, IMHO. Geneforge is somewhat unique, due to its Pokémon mechanic in place of an actual party. Nethergate plays much more like Exile/Avernum with a standard player-created party of balanced classes, I would rank Spiderweb games thus:
Mechanically solid, great writing and setting.
Good mechanics and writing, somewhat generic setting.
Very unusual, interesting setting and mechanics, but they are also shrunken in scope and in some ways unsound, great writing.
Simplified mechanics and maps, generic setting, good writing.
Harshly simplified mechanics, decent writing, very generic setting.

Can't we all just get along?

I played Avernum 1-3 and consider Geneforge to be definitely better. Agreed on Avadon, though – it's really shit.

Request that picture of romans having their own version of shitposting.
Clearly, that piece of proof means that romans were the ultimate civilization.

But user, slavs, greeks, spaniards and italians aren't white.

Russians are the only slavs that aren't white, but Spaniards and Italians are totally white. Just because they aren't Aryan doesn't mean they're white. Plus they love fascism and nationalism.

Half of the spaniards are white with moor features. For most people it goes back over 600 years on one generation or two, so you decide. There's also celtic blood, roman, carthaginian, greek… This is not a topic you or anyone else want to debate really

Being an amerimongrel, I'm only really familiar with the eternal slapfight between the English, Irish, Scots, and Welsh (plus Manx & Breton sideshows, and the even further back Norman/Saxon/Angle/Jute squabble), over who's the divine blooded white ubermensch in a sea of subhuman apes. But I'm sure every other European "nation" has a similar dynamic under its current unified front.