You know the drill

i get a gf between 6 and 10 out of 10

They use the cyber police and clever catfishing to backtrace you and laugh as they reveal your sick anime fetishes to the world

It happens, and solely because you leave.

everything you mentioned is in the $30 DLC

We get a video game based off of the Matter of France.

Demons have an immunity to gas attacks.

It has been historically revised to be more PC friendlty

more like 5$ for each feature.

Was it not enough to have a Muslim character? He gets better.

They're all jewish

The catch is that it's this game

No. All characters with a position of power are now dykes.

I don't know the drill but if you want a game like that, try Savage.

I guess the community is dead tho

Even Chalemange?

especially

All competitive gaming is dead.

That would be really hot if it was made by the Japanese.

user you are fucking evil…

It has been replaced with competitive gaming journalism.

You act like that wouldn't be an improvement

alright then

I wish my hot twin sister was my girlfriend.

she will never have sex with you and you can hear Chad and Tyrone double teaming her at night

It's a permanent long distance relationship.

All character designs in fighting games are Feminist Frequency approved.

the story was written by Feminist Frequency

Honestly, is much worse than they get the idea of monkeys paw.

long distance is worse than cuckshed?

All graphics are sacrificed in process, becoming pixelshit.

...

but user, it's the ugly and lazy kind of low grafix, not the working around the constraints kind

Do I need to repeat the post?

I am not. But majority of gaymers are.
I would trade graphics for story and gameplay any time.

If you get cucked it sucks, but you can break off the relationship. The idea behind a long distance relationship is that it's hard, and you never get the real experience of being in one, but you're still an asshole for trying to get out of it. The monkeys paw doesn't straight up pollute a wish. It twists it so you get exactly what you wanted, but not in the way you wanted it.

Competetive gaming dies overnight. With it, CS:GO, ASSFAGGOTS and other competetive cancer genres also die off.

As a result, gaming loses any legitimacy it may have gained to be recognized as a national pastime, and is forever deemed as a detrimental stain on society as a whole. Any arguments supporting the benefits of gaming are silenced due to the massive stigma that it bears. Playing videogames becomes villainized in every way, and becomes a shameful act on par with pedophilia. Budding developers abandon gamedev entirely and become car mechanics instead. Established game developers collectively commit suicide. Shigeru Miyamoto, Yoko Taro, Hideo Kojima are notable examples of those that have killed themselves as a result.

Pretty sure Yoko Taro would just get a hardon if that happened.

same for Kojimbo

I disagree.

jesus christ dude
keep it up

It's made by Bethesda

...

I want a Cave Story 2, made by Pixel himself, no matter how long it takes.

nice ID, fag

Made under EA's guidance.

It takes forever and the fanbase goes into hyper tumblr mode the likes of which dwarf earthbound and undertale combined.

Release day comes while you're in the hospital for a prosthetic right arm. It doesn't work.

Pixel dies.

saw it coming
fuck

these two are terrifying as well

That fucking sounds wonderful!

That cuts deep

Having a bunch of dukes doesn't make the game bad, you know.

Cave Story 2 is made. It is made by Pixel, without any intervention of a publisher, including Nicalis.

However, Pixel formed a pact with his own monkey paw, to finish the game of his dreams, even at the expense of himself. During development, his time, efforts, and even life force have gone into the game itself - as you have probably guessed, Pixel sacrifices himself so that Cave Story 2 comes to fruition.

The end result is a game that is amazing, it has depth, and has a disturbingly emotional story. You are effectively playing (and witnessing) Pixel in his steady degradation, and playing the literal, living Purgatory that he has banished himself to for the remainder of days.

What is happening to that poor monkey?

I wish for a historical slave management gaem.

They're suffocating it to make it look like it's being killed by a virus

It's made PC and about the struggle of the poor black man, and the player character is a comically evil whitey.

Although the catch is depressing, that really doesn't go against Pixel's ideology.

The industry crashes with no survivors.

You play as one of the black supervisors. It's third-person and you're out in the field all day. While the game is functional, the novelty starts to wear off pretty fast.

Dwarf Fortress gets finished right now, condensing countless more decades of updates into one.

I want a sequel to valkyria chronicles and Ys VII to be localized

The update costs money

It adds really nice graphics causing hordes of casuals and normalfags to infiltrate the fanbase.

I wish for Bioware to die.

It's a shitty generic JRPG and NISA is handling the localization.

...

It's not being made by Hideaki Itsuno.

It's Xbone exclusive and gets the Scalebound treatment

The staff just rolls into other devs, and their cancer metastasizes.

Translation companies ditch their cancer and actually translate the games instead of writing over them.

Tumblr leads a boycott, forcing the translation companies to create more "sensitive" content.

Polybius is found.

TL Notes: "itadakimasu" is a traditional pre-meal phrase, giving thanks for the meal.

I wish for a modern ant colony simulation game

okay how about this:
I wish for nethack ported to the 3ds, complete and unabridged from the pc version.

I wish Mark was Muslim and that this became an Islamic Video Game board.

More people start wanting meaningful discussion when everything to discuss is banned

I wish for a new Battletoads in the style of the NES game helmed by Masahiro Sakurai

Board gets immediately derailed by shitposters taking the piss on Islam, actual vidya discussion or whatever little there is gets moved to another board.

It uses tiles mode.

...

It is a AAA game. It is casualized and costs $60

That's not much of a curse.

Hand cramps

His death makes NMS unimaginably popular, to the point where normalfags claim it's better than skyrim. It will be listed on the top of every game list ever.

How's that?

The game is half the speed of the NES game. The Turbo Tunnel returns, but here it just takes an eternity to beat instead of being hard.

now that's a curse

The monkey paw can't understand Nipponese and you get DMC5 directed by Hideaki Anno.

(Checked)

Your game covers the management of various outfits steming from European and American lands. The time setting is 2168. Whites, Saxons, Slavs, and pures are now rare ethnicities, and Sharia Law dictates 70% of the once-free world. The game is a published chronicle of the great industries put into place after ww3 was won by sandniggers and seats of power were taken over almost entirely by islamic faith.

Your great great great grandson will in fact be involved in the motion capture on all slave-whipping and little boy raping minigames.

Project is properly localized and then dropped right at the cusp of going gold. The master copy is taken in a lawsuit raised by the editor of the localizing party against Falcom. Thanks to the ridiculous length of the trial, as well as other hiccups to their finance forcasts, Falcom is forced to sell itself to Bandai Namco to remain soluble. However, they lose the case, and several important devs from the now-subsidized company retire from the industry in frustration.

Not willing to pay for the rights to this game, Bamco cancels it, and consequentially the Ys franchise along with it. It's not long after that Falcom itself is fully-dissolved into Bamco's various departments and the Falcom franchises are shelved.

It will be a full 30 years before, in a dramatic event involving the prosecuting editor being cucked by a black programmer (a vid showing his wife getting blacked and then he himself sucking the guy off after he creampies her) that ends with the man's suicide that his wife, now in control of his assets, releases the long-forgotten game as freeware.

While the translation is immaculate and genuinely award-worthy, the next generation of gamers and journos brutally pan the game itself for not having any paid perks like regen health or god killing guns.

It's just a graphics pack for Dwarf Fortress that makes them look like ants.

I wish Will Wright and Maxis would be reinstated and given complete creative freedom by EA to produce a 3D version of SimCity 4 without dumbing anything down.

That's just cruel

Granted, but it's an Origin exclusive with DRM that won't get bypassed so long as you draw breath. Once you die, a crack will be found.

I wish for the current momentum of Japanese games to continue for the next 10-15 years, all throughout the 2020s. I accept whatever consequences may come once this period ends but just give me another golden age of Japanese games.

I wish I was hung like a nigger

My man I'm going to have to ask that you be less transparent in what you're fishing for

You become a nigger

The Asian Jew latches on and the games are good but bogged down with DLC, as well as the western weeaboo scene exploding with the influx of good jap games. This also induces more west vs east shitposting as contrarians respond to the rising weeaboo tide.

Acceptable. Nothing is perfect, after all.

It gets cancelled a day before release.

Your wish is my command.

stalker 2 set in and around fukushima with the same but updaten engine and all the great mods implemented with optional multipkayer, coop and tvt in global and privat servers.

I want no more videogames

Game is localized by Nintendo of America and includes the latest memes from Reddit.

Made by Bethesda

Pick one.

You never specified how much the engine was updated

On Nvidia shield.

Hey at least that means no more games for the Ninendo Switch
That's good enough for me

i wish for infinite wishes!

I heard you say Infinite Washes
All washes shall be done with a dams worth of water crashing into you

Oh no! My wish backfired!

How cliched!

...

Video games start being fun.

The power of the wishes becomes diluted. You can no longer wish for great, sweeping changes. You can now only wish for slight conveniences which are made moot by equally inconvenient, monkey paw-induced occurrences. Also, you get a malignant tumor in your brain.

There is a grand total of 2 games, one a PlayStation exclusive, the other Xbox exclusive.
Eventually the PC ports are released, 24FPS locked, always online built into the game, no AA, 1080p max res and the companies immediately die after releasing it so no patches.

I wish you cuckchan niggers would fuck off.

Mods will fix it :^).

They do, but in their place, everyone's aunt who tries to be the "cool one" starts browsing and clog up threads with their insipid female opinions.

...

...

I wish for cuckchan to go back

I wish for my waifu to be real and to love me

All the halfchan cancer goes back, but Holla Forums dies.

but then fullchan becomes a government honeypot just like cuckchan

she isnt real and you're going to die alone and pathetic

Cuckchanners go back, but only because Holla Forums merged with cuckchan.

I don't think you understand how monkey's paw works, user

Your waifu becomes real and comes to the 3D world, but you go to the 2d realm and she eternally pines after you as you did her.

I wish for Capcom to make MT Framework available to the public like Unreal Engine.

It's just as bad, or even worse, than Grandia 3.

Your waifu is brought to life in the real world and she dedicates her new life to you, but she is still 2D and any attempts at physical intimacy are impossible.

I wish Lucasarts never got sold to EA.

It was sold to Bethesda

But she's from a 3D video game, meaning she's not from a 2D world

It's more difficult to use than Source

she becomes unhappy with this new world. she becomes depressed and wishes to return

Your waifu is brought to life in the real world and she dedicates her new life to you, but she is a hollow 3D model with no functioning reproductive organs, making sex impossible and her body cold to the touch. Better?

B-but a-atleast we get Fallout: Lightsaber Edition, r-right?

No
Dishonored: Lightsaber Edition

I want EA dead.

Russian hackers reverse engineer it and replace all repositories of the source code with versions that install malware/rootkits/etc.

Everything is 2D on the screen.

Cuckchanners leave but furries from reddit take their place.

The executives and their business practices slowly become the standard in the gaming industry

EA goes bankrupt tomorrow, but Activision swoops in and acquires all of their licenses and IPs, everything continues par for course.

She becomes real, but takes taken by the military due to being an extremely powerful weapon

His waifu is Jehuty, which is a giant robot, so not much has changed.

EA dies and splinters into 30 different companies.

Cum, user. Yiff me!

I wish all furries died

All furries are dead, but only because an asteroid hit the Earth and wiped out all live.

*life

Welp, there goes Germany.

who said anything about the monkeys paw

that's alarming

Fuck, I'm pretty sure EA hasn't even really started any of the shit practices in the industry (aside from cannibalizing other companies), they're just the most enthusiastic to enact those practices as much as they can.

I mean, I'd rather a company that just sits on dead IPs rather than actively destroys them.

Unless all of those companies adopt all the business practices that the executives were enforcing on their subsidiaries, then it's not really a bad thing. If even just one company doesn't then its a net positive.

Armored Core gets the recognition that that the Souls games get. This one is easy to screw over.

Only because the newest AC game is really just DS:AC. From will now release 4 games over the span of 5 years.

I'll make a wish that can't backfire. I want MGSV TPP properly finished, with ten GZ style missions each in a unique map and ten GZ style sideops for each map, and I don't want any zombies or to die before it comes out or any SJW stuff in the game, and I don't want any other weird surprises. You got it?

It's properly finished but Konami destroys every internal copy of it out of spite before it is ever released.

oh so thats what dingaling was referencing on lisa the joyful's middle finger

It is finished but never released

It gets finished, but there will be no more good stealth games since MGSV's perfection will force every good developer to never make a stealth game ever again

Wishing for Pokémon Channel 2

...

all adults that purchase it are branded as pedophiles

Every video game story is on the same level as the Doom comic book.

The amount of forced memes is multiplied thousands of times over

the doom comic disappears from the archives of history and you must contend yourself with shitty knock-offs

The only player involvement is QTEs.

AAA dies off.

Twine games become the most popular genre of video game

Here's a fun one:
Half-Life 3 is finally released this year.

It takes the entire medium down with it. Hope you're not done your backlog yet.

It is not released in Source 2 and is just a map pack for HL2

It becomes a walking simulator because the playtesters kept dying to a headcrab and didnt knew what to do.

i wish for FEAR to be saved

it has even more meme-bait than portal now

She has every STD imaginable

The German people died in WW2 user.

Your waifu is real, and loves. However she falls out of love with you, and in love with the man you hate the most.

This is only a good thing

I wish Lasagna Cat would release more episodes in nine years.

Already happened, Fallout 3 was released.

He releases a thousand videos, each of which are a year long, making them impossible to watch in your lifetime.

You know what?
I'm absolutely fine with that.

Two birds with one stone etc

epic picture friend :)

Why can't leftypol into memes.

mhmmm

It's an ASSFAGGOTS.

(Heil'd)
Heil.

Because they're retarded and rely on spam instead of creativity.

Greenpill has been floating around on /fringe/ for something like 2 years now don't quote me on it, I go to /x/ instead, but Holla Forums is unable to do much outside of copy shit that's already floating around rather than make new shit.

OpenMW and Tamriel Rebuilt come out tomorrow.
Tamriel rebuilt expands on the main story, following the murder of the three demi gods, as the Nerevarine gets exiled and falls out of memory.

It's gonna be crap and I dont need a monkey pawn to tell you that

No it isn't faglord, maybe that shit story that was proposed but TR and OpenMW are already great.

The TR story for the most part just lets you rise to power under the banners of the other 2 houses and greatly expands the already existing houses mainline quests, as well as supplying more lore, more side quests and more locations to visit, the biggest town is pretty big.

Oh yeah, there are also plans for a 6th house main quest

Bethesda claims the project and retitles it Skyrim -1 Remaster, $59.99 price tag and the skills and combat system are reworked to be like Skyrim.

Vaginismus.

so how did he make them?

Procedurally generated.

Many different camera angles of Philip Glass talking about Garfield for the rest of his lifetime.

I wish for a new Conker game.

It's made by Microsoft, is nothing like Conker's Bad Fur Day in any way whatsoever, and has microtransactions and DLC all over the goddamn place

So, basically, whatever the fuck this is going to be

Wasn't that cancelled?

God I hope so

i want a vidya adaptation of this album :^)

I wish Sega had won the 90s console war and that Nintendo faded into obscurity along with all its disappointing franchises. I don't really about the brief joys their good games once brought me. All of their franchises have gone to shit and have butchered the characters beyond recognition.

Its a shitty puzzle game similar to Bejeweled.

It's made by Todd

gay sex simulator

I really got nothing. Only ones losing here are post-OoT Zeldafags. Also on the bright side, no Sheikfags. But without Mario 64, would 3D vidya be doomed?

Sega then proceed to make a hundred Sonic '06s for every franchise they ever created

I wish for next-gen 3d Contra game.

it isn't hard

Good thing I stopped giving a fuck about Sonic after Shadow the Hedgehog. Everyone loses but me.

Konami refuses to give a fuck about the series and sells it off to EA which butchers it beyond reason.

The Original Xbox doesn't come into existence.
3D gaming isn't doomed but is delayed by a couple of years.

Also, is Hard Corps any good?

is your wish that it is good?

Nah, I just wanted to know if I should play it. But judging from your question I'm going to assume its bad. So what will happen if I wish its good?

It's good, better than Contra 3. Multiple characters, branching paths, no clunky overhead stages.

Well I know what I'm doing first when I retire 40 years from now.

a separate game you like a lot or were hyped for becomes exceedingly bad.

You misinterpreted. I meant that Sega would only make games that were as bad as Sonic '06. You like Shenmue? Well imagine a Shenmue sequel that's as bad as Sonic '06

Disappointing, but I can live with that.

I'm going to take it you haven't played Sonic '06

I know enough of about it. But like I said, I can live with that, and by that I mean I can live without Shenmue or any other good Sega sequels. Compared to the hell we're in now, its nothing.

You wouldn't be saying that if you'd played Sonic '06

I wish youtube would quit censoring people.

YouTube quit censoring people but then people start censoring themselves, thereby eliminating the need for YouTube to censor people.

youtube now requires an account to watch videos

youtube red becomes mandatory to watch videos

I wish NISA and all their employees would exit the game industry never to return.

Spambots flood youtube with gay porn and jewgle can't do anything about it
everyone moves to vid.me so everything is fine anyway

The game industry also falls apart, and no game is ever made ever again.

localizations are now handled by bioware employees

They exit the game industry but someone worse takes their place

MORE LIKE FILL COLONS

humanity evolves and technology advances. you're content for a century. then the only new games being made require that you have a cybernetic interface, which you can't get, because you're invulnerable. you're stuck playing the same games in a museum somewhere.

4 billion years from now, you stumble out of your dusty alcove in search of tendies. the planet is empty. humans evolved and left the planet billions of years ago. first the whites, then the japanese, the chinese tried to leave, but their rocket ships were made in china. the only new console games being made are by somalians. they ate all the tendies. the sun dies, taking the earth with it. you float in space until the heat death of the universe.

Like I said, I know enough, and I can live without any good sega game if it means I get my wish. I pretty much won the wish jackpot here. No negatives on me.

we get the perfect toilet simulator

it's haunted by Indian witches

By all means, go and play it!

Keep in mind though that it's hard as fuck!

The toilet is filled with blood

Nuclear Dawn

I want a good everything simulator without any major flaws that can't be overlooked and without charging exorbitantly jewish prices

The simulator is actually the world we're living in.

I said without any major flaws that can't be overlooked

I could manage.

You are like little baby

But we've been overlooking it for ages, user

...

Blatant fucking lies.
The war was caused by the assassination of the Austria-Hungarian Archduke Franz Ferdinand, perpetrated by a Serbian who got the chance because the driver of Franz's car, who we can safely assume to be Austria-Hungarian, was a piss-poor navigator though with this information he could have been polish, since my family came from such stock and none of us can navigate worth shit.

Arab Muslims also didn't get really bad until America and the commies armed different groups of extremists during the cold war, and the time in which representative government was established is mostly irrelevant considering that there still exist non-democratic states, and that Germany is still a democratic state.

Sage for Holla Forums or /his/ shit.

This is basically the Pipe Strip stretched into 4 hours. So I win.

I don't get why Holla Forums isn't as good with memes and jokes as Holla Forums, but it might have something to do with their attitude. Anarchy is funny. Alex Jones is funny. Holla Forums is completely unhinged because it despises the rest of society; the concept of appealing in order to win over others never even crosses their mind. Some men just want to watch the world burn and it's that sort of recklessness that's amusing to watch, to a point. It's just as fun to watch Holla Forums lose than to win because of how quick they are to dramatizing everything.

Holla Forums cares enough about the world to spend all their time discussing the minutiae of economic theory, in the hopes someday they can win over the masses. As productive as this could be, it doesn't hold the humorous potential of making offending others a game.

The thing is, Holla Forums isn't about free thinking at all, and you don't laugh when you're told to laugh, do you? In their memes, you're supposed to think a certain way and laugh at a certain thing, they usually tell you what you're supposed to see, unlike Holla Forums who's mastered the art of conveying their message seamlessly.

Fuck I wish I could find that image using the Pepe guy pissing himself as an example.

...

friendly bump
I wish we got The World Ends With You 2 on the 3DS and that it's good.

I wish Dwarf Fortress was finally finished

all the glitches it has on release will never get patched out

You get a court order that bans you from ever connecting to the internet for the rest of your life because of some illegal porn one of those anons managed to plant on your PC.

Niggers do the gassing and they can't tell the difference between kikes and whites.

She's a former child prostitute that was used only by niggers, kikes and muslims. She has a lot of mental issues, STDs and can't orgasm because of it.

It has only one level, 2 mid bosses a final boss, 3 guns (the shotgun, which you find only before the final boss, a slingshot and a bolt-action rifle). It can be completed in 30 minutes and costs $100.

She falls into a coma for the rest of her life the moment she agrees to become your gf.

I wish Total War, Mount and Blade, and Chivalry all got combined seamlessly into a huge strategy game where you can control massive medieval army and also assume control of soldiers.

its a free to play mmo

THat's a real game, it's called executive control or something.

The game gets butchered by the localization, removing content from the game and making changes in the story and characters.

My wish:

Every filthy fucking SJW leaves the video game industry alone forever.

these threads are for giving ideas to the bad future machine. dont participate

They leave said industry, but now youve become one.

I wish vanilla wow was released again with updated graphics being the only thing that has changed.

You will never get dubs in the thread.

...

if you dont like it go to russia

I wish for a full fleshed out persona-style waifu simulator that let's you go all the way and fuck the girls with full sex scenes

It will only be sold to homosexuals

Vanilla wow is released again with graphics updated by John Walker Flynt. Outstanding sales prompt the industry to adopt the Revolution 60 aesthetic for all future projects.

I can't even look at that without feeling physically ill, bunch of whitewashed motherfuckers.
You'd think that knowing Holla Forums, they'd go back to their own countries. But nope, gotta leech off the white man.

How is this possible? Do you spend everything you make?

Here in burgerland some people don't get to retire until age 70-75. Gotta pay decades of gibs.

I wish for a 3D platformer Mega Man game created by the team behind Monster Hunter with the ability to switch between 3rd person aiming and free camera for exploring.

it has a budget of $1

Took long enough for someone to catch that reference.

I want Valve, EA, Ubisoft and all the redditors they brought to leave, and make PC gaming decentralized.

You will never be able to play old videogames again.

Seavor isn't allowed anywhere near the project. As such the game is exclusively developed with the reddit and tumblr communities with predictable results for xirvrybodies. Also, Patton Oswalt is the new voice of Conker.

On the bright side it's not a shitty tie-in with the latest cartoon.

This brings forth a clique of SJWs who control the board and PC gaming. Instead of bitching of bitching about new games, they bitch about old games for being problematic.

Metroid: Tube Tycoon

All official art is made by Shadman.

I know you're looking for the post where the guy talks about what this image means, but have it anyway.

Kneejerk reaction from nu/pol/ as usual.

Sure, but it also happens to be your only option, since micro is terrible due to godawful pathfinding, you have to manually control one strong unit. Every. Single. Time. It will get boring eventually, and the controls are terrible while in first person.
Look on the bright side, you can at least abuse the AI this way.

warframe ditches space baby storyline and jewery infavor of competent tenno lore and fair gameplay that doesn't put too much strain on the player towards microtransactions.

why else would they make one

...

I wish for a sandboxy (GTA-like) 1920's Lovecraft game set in Arkham. With actually good first person

the monkey paw notices your ambiguous grammatic structure and has you hanged while your penis hits the floor

It's DESYNC.

top down GTA, and they mess up the mythos to be SHIT

I want to be happy

you become a normalfag

I just want MAG to come back, with updated textures, performance, and mechanics

Warframe becomes a good game and drops all the kikery.

SVER, Raven, or Valor?

I want Deadly Premonition on PC to just fucking work already

Warframe becomes your life and you die of a blood clot 4 years from now while playing

Stuck with Raven, kicked ass with the .50 cal anti-material rifle. SVER got overpowered in their final patch, all their weapons got a damage and accuracy boost and just outperformed everyone else except for Valor's LMGs. I remember SVER guys practically sniping people with SMGs.

I made a SVER character after the final patch, and it was incredibly easy to get kills. They had the best red dot sight that all but removed the gun from the frame and barely obstructed view, while Raven's was the worst. The sight's housing took up more space on the screen than the actual optical part.

Still, I loved the Raven aesthetic. Ran in the upgraded light armor, beret with sunglasses.

A properly done port that works perfectly is released as a remaster edition, with 4 episodes and an extra ending DLC.

I was a SVER faggot. I loved the aesthetic at the time, but looking back now I might have chosen Raven.

You're entirely right about the last update. That Tamnsen was fucking terrifying, and the Ariet was so overpowered.

I ran the Upgraded medium armour, padded tank helmet with that skull facemask (with the hood, I looked fucking edgy)

I wish for a city management game where you can implement true communism.

CoD kinda did that in Black Cops 2

the Americans show up to push your shit in, and even though they have to go back home because of public opinion, your 'beautiful' utopia gets FUCKED UP, and you have to rebuild in the overpriced DLC

But it's an RPG about the struggles of a tranny made by SJWs.

...

Your answer is much better then mine

whatever makes you sleep at night amerifat