This is just in, Chris Chan is now a canon Sonic character

Oh boy, you are in for a ride with this one, not knowingly.

What do you mean I thought he didn't go through surgery?

Please someone post it. I don't have this degeneracy saved on my pc.

only about the third thread for this in the last day

You know, when I first saw the episode I thought Chris would be too autistic to see the resemblance.

Well apparently he got a sore on his taint, that area between your balls and butt. Being so spiritual, Chris thought it was a vagina and not only didn't go see a doctor to fix it, but keeps on aggravating it and lets it fester. I don't have a pic but it looks like someone was trying to rip him apart by the taint but gave up at the beginning.

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Timestamp please. I'm not going to watch a 3d sonic animabomination just to see a meme.

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Don't forget that it's because of the piercing he got there.

slowpoke.png

Anyone got archives? I was too busy playing videogames.

Happened 2 days ago
Fucking neefagd meeds to lurk more reeee

wasnt he about to sue sega?

yeah, real great self awareness skills CWC

Jesus wept.

webm

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He was going to before he saw the episode, I guess he had the impression sega stole sonichu.
I'm not entirely sure cwc has a copywrite claim on sonichu, though I wouldn't put it past him to try.
Or sorry, her.

don't forget that he's growing his vagina with the help of "female binaural beats".
Thanks to nuScience spiritualism, his body can actually change its physical makeup based on gendered auditory input. Take that, fedora-tippers.

That was a fake account

This isn't him, but here

ORANGE SODA

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if its such phony bologna why dont you try it out?

Jesus didn't cry. Because that would imply he could stop drinking long enough to feel anything other than the wish for death. But hey, she's a strong independent womyn who don't need no man so why should I stop her from doing what she wants with her body?

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Fuck.

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It's not gay if they identify as female! It's completely hetero, even if they have a penis.

What a gorgeous lady he is :^)

His "growing his vagina" a codeword for "cutting into his scrotum with a knife at the behest of trolls"?

Kek. This is actually pretty funny.

Medicalbros, can someone explain why there's no goddamn blood?

Im no medicine man but I'd say it's full of pus

There's not much blood flow through the region and part of what he cut through is fat.

Not medically trained but I do know that in places of infection the body will do it's best to close off the area as much as possible to keep infection from spreading.
Also this

Now if you want to see something real interesting look at this cut made by a piece of obsidian that didn't even draw blood.

Isn't this the same reason that the ass is the only place you can shot at with a gun safely because it's mostly fat and there's almost no way for you to bleed out.

My fucking sides

This is fucking amazing.

no, in fact vasodilation occurs to help delivering WBC
cuts do cause localized vasoconstriction though

Also

proof? seems much more plausible that somebody told him there was no way he could win in court. Then he convinced himself that the character is nothing like him because cwc is always correct.

wrong pic.

His real account is CwcvilleGuardian, that account on the pic only has old uploaded vids copied from the real account and this video which is obviously not Chris' house.

So that's where the cream for Toaster Strudels comes from.

I liked the troll comment better.

Oh well, at least this way they can continue to make fun of him without fear of legal consequences. I expect to see a sequel where Mark turns up with a girlfriend named Julie.

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My brain still can't comprehend that someone like Chris-chan actually exists and survived to reach adulthood.

Welfare.

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Why wouldn't he have reached adulthood? It's post-adulthood that's perplexing.

your thread is MSM-tier late.

This is a fake account. The "Donations DESPERATELY needed" video is copy-pasted from this original video on the true CWC account (CWCvilleGuardian), made back in July.

the welfare state is a hell of a drug.

i want welfare bucks

Do you have autism? If not, can you pretend to have autism? Either of these can get you welfare bucks.

im sure im eligible im just really really lazy and dont feel like going to the autism treasury. i gotta hand it to that guy he has ambition

His father put him on autismbux. Probably because he realised somewhere down the line that he'd never amount to anything, so they might as well get some free government money out of him.

If it were up to Chris to be responsible for his survival, he'd have starved to death

I didnt know his mother had assburgers too

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It's strange to think such a self absorbed person like chris WOULDN'T think it was him.

I hate you. I hate you so damn much.

Is the cartoon any good?

It's all right. It's not the best cartoon ever made but it's certainly better than most of the shit they pump out these days

After spending the past 40 minutes reading about Chris's Un-Clit on the wiki, I have no idea how this fucking man is still alive.
How could any human being live for what is now 5 months with a festering wound on their taint? How the fuck has he not gotten blood poisoning yet? It's incredible.

Dubs don't lie

Fuckin' autism magic.

I had an infection in basically the same place. It popped up a few years after i got an abscess.

It never bled that much its almost all puss, its fucking gross and degrading. Its a perpetual thing i was constantly showering. Shit really fucking hurts too.

k

or do they?

Not really. Its okay if you're stuck in a traffic jam or in a waiting room. Although, about 5 episodes are unwatchable trash.

To add insult to injury, the Sonic Twitter made another jab at trannies/genders with another attack helicopter quip.

It is Chris Chan. They gave Mark no pants to show how both him and Chris Chan are eunuch. Then they put a dick onto Mark's nose just to drive home how cutting off your dick wont change an ugly face. All the other characters have far more humanoid faces then Mark. It is all an allegory, they assumed Chris Chans autism was strong enough to see the hidden meaning.

I had no idea sonic was a chronic shitposter. I mean it makes sense, but I didn't expect it.

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Nigga you new?

The official Sonic twatter has been a great source of shitposts for a while. It even shat on Mighty No. 9 so hard that a bunch of journos got butthurt.

He probably smells so bad.

I missed that the first time. Noice.

I wonder what his feet smell like haha totally just curios tho asking for a friend

Apparently he smells like rotting watermelons

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You forgot the part where he couldn't contain his autism and got the GameStop ban extended from local to statewide.

He's truly the gift that keeps on giving.

>Directly acknowledges Sanic, Coldsteel, SiIvaGunner, and Eegra's review of SSB Brawl, indirectly acknowledged Sonichu and Sonic Dreams Collection

This is the PR team that Sonic deserves.

This needs to be added to vid related

Its the pr team that every franchise deserves.

I'll never get used to that site

Xe looks like a young Ted Cruz.

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Well it's not a he it doesn't have a dick, and it's not a she it doesn't have a vagina. How are we going to refer to this thing then? We will not always use "IT."

What's xour problem with xit? Xe xis xa xerfectly xromulent xord.

But he does have a dick.

Wasn't that letter fake? Or was it only the Nintendo letter that was fake?

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He still has a dick. Just because he has a festering wound below it doesn't mean he lopped off his penis.

But how do you call a man that grows a vagina by mutilation and femenine reverberations?

Havent heard about this, mind elaborating? Always giddy when i hear one of these cucks is angry about anything

Oh no, it looks a lot better than the first too if all of the new episodes are half as decent. Guess I'll have to catch up on it this weekend.

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ELAINE: I'm not Tsundere!

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Back when Sterling was the review editor for Destructoid, he had a reputation for weird review scores on Sonic games; he hated the "good" Sonic games, and liked what the "bad" ones were trying to do.
Previews for Sonic Colours were very favourable, so everyone expected Sterling to shit on it for no good reason, including Sega's PR team. When they send Destructoid their review copy, someone slipped in a doodle of Sterling as a fat troll with horns: archive.is/SucoM
This went on for years, with Sega PR always sending wacky things to Destructoid, and Sterling trying to play it off as a two-way joke. It culminated in this ICE BURN: twitter.com/sonic_hedgehog/status/626904275445227520

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holy shit nice. get fucked jim sterling you fat SJW

2016, the year that keeps on giving, holy shit.

The writers are too aware of the sonic fanbase, but I don't think that's really CWC. He didn't really write fanfics based on sonic himself, like the other autists.

the connection is the appearance and the painting with tan arms

Yeah, Mark (the tapir, not the jew) is more of an amalgamation of obsessive fans than anyone in particular.

He says the arms are "unfinished", though, implying he means to paint them blue.

He dresses like CWC. Rugby shirt, same style glasses. There's also the blue arms thing.

The writer also admits knowledge of Chris Chan
Yeah he did. His comics, in addition to featuring Sonichu, also featured Sonic and Chris-Chan Sonichu, which was just Chris transformed into a blue Sonichu

That's my point. It's a reference to the whole fiasco.

What did he mean by this?

He's an amalgamation, yes. But his fashion sense and general design suggests one fan in particular.

His legs were okay.

he thought that his legs were broken, but it turns out that mark put him in a cast while he was unconscious as a bluff

Nah

2017 is going to be even better with Blue Beam rolling out. Have fun convincing your normalfag friends that ayys DON'T exist.

This is what the future will look like.

Why the spoilers, friend? Correct spelling is nothing to be ashamed of

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No nigger, the reason why the ass is one of the best places to be shot is because your glutes are huge muscles and in the unfortunate circumstance that a bullet wound was inavoidable there'd be no better place to absorb that impact than in a huge mass of muscle in which there are no vital structures.

I was expecting pooper dooper and rape.

Idiocracy soon, fellow stalker

You know what i never understood?
Most of the people on Holla Forums and Holla Forums live thanks to autism bucks because they're essentially mentally ill.
If autism bucks are removed, and they all die, doesn't that defeat the whole point of what they want society to be?

If you kill off Holla Forums and Holla Forums, all that's left are normalfags, so basically nothing changes.

I think you underestimate us my friend.

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man the animation is shit, facial especially

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not sure about you but that's where I keep my pooper

one house fire wasn't enough; these people just don't learn

That armadillo or whatever the fuck is way too crafty to be Chris. Anyway, the video game may have sucked ass but this cartoon adaptation isn't too bad. I might have to watch some more of this.

That's a tapir, an animal widespread in Brazil whose name is synonym to fucking retard.

Obsidian is used in the medical industry so it aint that strange.

I wasn't aware it was possible to cut that deep without breaking some kind of blood vessel regardless of what was used to make the cut.

Satan nigger, when Aaron Webber made fun of Sonichu and Chris-Chan on the official Sonic twitter, Chris was retarded enough to say he should just ignore it and it's just some fake troll account. He couldn't fucking see the verified account checkmark on the official Sonic Twitter account. He is that fucking stupid. The one thing he decides to ignore and call fake was the actual official Twitter account, instead of all of the shit the Kiwi Farms fags sent to him.

This completely.

Imagine being the person who did that piercing. That must have left some permanent mental scars.

The cartoon is decent. They take the piss out on everything.

Dubs confirm

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The body is wonderful thing user. Obsidian cuts so clean so that blood just doesn't floods out. With about any other material it would have.

I like the self-awareness that Sega has been on lately. Hopefully the two new games are good.

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what did he mean by this?

Isn't it obvious? The whole episode was making fun of SJWs and the use of pronouns.

That's what I want to believe, but I somehow doubt that would make it on TV these days, in a kid's show of all things.

www(dot)watchcartoononline(dot)io/sonic-boom-episode-34-just-a-guy

Holy shit, amazing.

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No, just you Holla Forums, now fuck off.

Just because normalfags frustrate you doesn't mean they can be fooled. Why else would Trump have won against such bullshittery? There's a reason they abandoned that Clinton-era bullshit.

The thumbnail in the catalog made that painting in the image look like one of those terrible "mistakes into miracles" pregnant Sonic images.

I'm saying I'm not surprised. When I saw the fake comment, I was a bit shocked that he could see himself in the character.

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Lord knows why this came to mind, but at a certain point he may have been a fairly normal looking dude if the 'tism didn't fully engulf him.

There is a video of Chris acting normal. Everyone wished that was real Chris, and everything we knew was just method acting.

Scares the shit out me me knowing he lives only an hour away.

Knowing that he believes this constitutes a vagina and loves it as part of himself makes this far more horrifying than any other gore I've seen.

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I've not clicked that but I think I know what's in those images because I've been in ChrisChan thread several times before.

Getting hit in the pooper might not be fun but you would at least not bleed out in a matter of seconds.

Visit him.

No

What's the name of that Steven King book about the crazy fan that kidnaps that writer? I thought that the person broke the writer's legs so they wouldn't escape.

I don't think even Chris is dumb enough to DIY his vagooo. He must have visited a real doctor… right?

Doctors are just part of the trolling conspiracy, they keep telling him that Aspergers is similar to Autism and that he needs help when he's clearly conquered his autism.

Was this worth it, is this joke still funny, was driving a man to this point really worth it Holla Forums? I feel like if CWC never made contact with that cabal of internet wierdos who are more than likely as equally as fucked as he is then we could all have been spared from this.

A real doctor, with fresh binaural beats

UNTS UNTS UNTS

Misery.

This is probably what was playing when that doctor performed the boipussy procedure on CWC.

God why?

When I heard this happen my first thought is that it was probably Webber's idea.

BTFO

Obsidianfags on suicide watch

WHAT IS THAT

The end times.

god help us all

It's made even more sad when you realize this isn't the first time this has happened. Liquid Saga anyone?

Its so weird how Chris Chan has been on international news far more than the average person and has been the center of numerous controversy and the butt of so many jokes. Somehow he made himself bigger than "Just another severely autistic manchild" he has become his own monster all on his own.

Does he exist just to be the butt of the world and to give us something to look at as a curiosity?

Don't forget Jimmy Hill and Asperchu.

I totally did. What a crazy life this autistic man has had.

He's like a television show character, but real. Not really a coincidence either, since most of the "sagas" were written by the spergs commanding his life.

guys dont bully pls some of us are retarded

Think I missed that one but at a time I suffered under the delusion he was like the internet's Andy Kaufman.

Would the guy who owns that hand feel pain?
If not would he feel it by moving the affected area (stretching skin and all)
If yes would it get worse by moving the hand?

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I saw the face of God and it is smiling.

FBI or Three-letter Alphabet groups trying to fit in?

He's the ultimate proof God hates us.

Niggers, descendants of plebs and the underclasses aren't people

Or maybe he's proof that god loves us all to show that our autism isn't that bad and/or he wants to give us agency.

I tried to avoid looking at images/videos in ChrisChan threads. It's depressing how he's gone from turbo autist to too disgusting to even look. Every time there's a CWC thread, I ended getting nauseated. The only other thing on the internet that ever made me feel this way is that one video of the guy getting the surgery and starts pissing. You know the one. I don't know how someone could do that for a living without heavy drug/alcohol abuse.

Is that witch his principal or something? Why do they make her hot? Because that doesn't make sense.

Oh man, I didn't know the Sonic Boom cartoon was actually kinda funny.

THE LOLTRAIN IS AT THE STATION

Slaweel the witch runs the Private Villa of Corrupted Citizens which is where the jerkops are brainwashed into preventing Chris from attaining a boyfriend free girl and fulfilling his love quest.
In reality, Mary Lee Walsh was the dean of Piedmont Virginia Community College when Chris was attending to obtain his CADD degree and told Chris to stop using the attraction sign on campus since it creeped out the other students which Chris sperged out at her resulting in him getting suspended from PVCC for a year.

He takes out the frustration of taking five years to get a two year degree on her by making her one of the main villains in the comic book series.

WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT

that and due to his drawing "skills" people mistook the character for a young blond woman.

Blame Chris's shitty drawing skills. Looks like she was supposed to have long grey hair in his mind, but he gave her a weird horned cap that sometimes made her look like a short haired blonde instead.

I think we pulled even to Idiocracy in 2007 and have been exceeding it since

Attraction sign?

He would basically sit in a crowded area for hours holding a sign soliciting a girlfriend.

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WOO they're just shitting on their fans and it's fucking great

I can barely see the black text, any user that can help?

This is in keeping with my experience that anyone that puts "lonely" in a personal is 1000% someone you want to avoid.

Lord almighty.

I wish I could read the penciling, but I can only make out a few of the more visible words here and there.

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Gotta love that random Sonichu drawing.

Full text here:
sonichu.com/cwcki/Attraction_Sign

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Between this and the official twatter, I'm starting to respect SEGA again

Is that not a tails hat?

Yup, which is the closest thing you can get to a pikachu hat without getting sued by Nintendo or Chris-chan

You are as bad as the PIzzaGate/GamerGate people that see things that just are not there.

uh oh

Found the pedoshit.

Holla Forums is just full of conspiracytards now.
Just face it, there are no epic conspiracies keeping you down, just the white heteropatriarchy.

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Nah man its all a le tinhat thing 8ch.net/pol/res/8489922.html

how intentionally ironic

and you probably voted for hillary

Directly from CWC wiki:

"What does he smell like?
According to Emily, "rotten watermelons." According to Robert Simmons V, a variant of the homeless person stank. According to field agents, body odor masked with gallons of Axe. Point is, Chris smells awful."

And that was before he was a walking infection.

Here's some required viewing for anyone intrested.

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All "documentaries" are pretty much shit done by autist armchair psychiatrists.

You just have to go to Sonichu site and embrace yourself in the madness.

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The fuck did he do?

You should know the story by now user

Holy shit, what kind of fucking letter did he send?

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APPLYING EYE BLEACH.

Long story short, he was so triggered by Sonic Boom that maced a gamestop employee.

FAKE NEWS
A
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N
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W
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I always felt kind of bad for Chris Chan. He is retarded, because he is actually retarded. Seems just cruel at that point. He physically can't help it.

That's the thing, user. It's not that he's retarded – all of his issues are fixable, even his "lesbian soul." What's got him here isn't any actual retardation (he's actually been briefly seen by a [committee-mandated] professional in the early 2000s, who said he only had moderate autism).
He's in shit because of his pride.

The problem is that Chris is so much of a narcissist that he's unable to acknowledge that he's done anything wrong in the past or that he could potentially be making a mistake with his "transition." His mother and supposed caretaker Barb is alienated from her family for her sociopathic and narcissistic tendencies. She has baked this personality into the autistic Chris from the cradle, along with an irrational hatred of psychology/psychiatry. This, of course, is because these professions supply the only people that would check their collective family ego.
He thinks the world was made for him, damn any proof to the contrary. His rough experiences online, rather than teach him a lesson, have only cemented his paranoia. Anyone that checks his behavior is now labeled a troll and summarily ignored.

If Chris would have just swallowed his pride years ago when all the "trolls" told him that he should seriously pursue professional therapy, he'd likely be in a much better place than he is now.
Now, of course, being begging for Patreonbux online to spend on toys while he and his mother hold over $200K in debt. Plus, of course, maintaining a festering wound on his taint. In all seriousness, the way Chris has handled this business with the not-vagina is very troubling. It might even suggest that he's actually been a closet case of schizophrenia this entire time.

His brother came out fine. Also, psychology is Jewish pseudo-science, it's a healthy attitude to suspect anything those quacks have to say.

This, tbh. And even if you are completely bonkers, better be insane and remain as yourself instead of getting on (((pills))).

Chris is a living example of that not being true. He's on track to die within 6 months.

He also doesn't live with them.

Link?

We've been predicting Chirs' demise for years, but like any other vermin, he endures, evolving into ever more malevolent forms.

You know what, you're right. I'm still surprised he survived the house fire. It probably would have been better if he hadn't.

What if he didn't survive, and it has been his trolls posting as him this whole time so we wouldn't know the truth?

Maybe it isn't even trolls. The collective consciousness of the internet just keeps him in existence, even after he's died.

Spooky

Well I linked that one in specific becuase it was made as a school project. Here's the video on the teacher evaluating it.

Who's the secondary unit?

Why don't you visit him?

He's a pretentious hipster douchebag twat. Define 'fine'.

puking*

He's not Chris-chan.

The secondary unit will be online within 6 months. It's currently undergoing preparations, and will be online within 6 months. My people will continue to report on it's progress within 6 months.

I always assumed it was from his years middle school or high school. This is severely disturbing.

There's lots of degrees of 'not Chris-Chan'. In Cole's case he has the life Chris wants for himself. He's got a wife who takes care of him, probably financially, whilst he writes complete nonsense. He's not much better

He's semi-functional in society, put his dick in a vagina and isn't pretending to be a little girl and cutting up his genitalia.

'Semi-functional' isn't 'functional'
So did his brother
The only score on which he is superior to his brother

Cole's only advantage in life is that he doesn't have autism. This has allowed him to see that his mother is an abusive cunt and get the fuck out of there.. On practically every other score he is dysfunctional just like his brother.

He made Sonichu originally in some art project in 2000 during high school that he wanted to put Sonic and Pikachu on but couldn't because it had to be OC. After graduating high school he was sent off to college where he earned a decent degree (though taking more than double the standard time to get) and did fucking nothing with it.

Didn't he get a degree in communications or something like that?

Th-thanks for the OC, but you would have done just as well to call me an autist and leave it at that.

Just add some laugh tracks and you've got yourself the next Seinfeld.

Nope, even worse. He got a degree in Computer Aided Drafting and Design (CADD) which is actually a fairly decent degree and something I went for but it's obvious why Chris was held back for so long with taking four years plus the suspended year to get a degree earned in two. He was making the Sonichu comics around the time period when he running into various issues at PVCC such as the suspension, his bans from the local stores as a result of the LOVE QUEST, his arrest at Target and so on that he turns these issues into characters that he just runs around and beats up. The later Sonichu comics become very violent and disturbing as a result.

It was CADD

Has he never seen or heard of Misery?

How is this humiliating in the slightest? This guy drew porn of him fucking a girl he liked in real life. He filmed himself humping a pillow. THERE ARE PHOTOS OF HIS INVERTED COCK EVERYWHERE.

I wonder whether Pizzagate was just a joke that got out of hand or we have paid Russian meme insurgents posting among us right now.

Yeah, posted this before I watched his archival video. I'll go on crusade later.

Please be telling the truth.

Chris is more like the Trueman show. Everyone but him is in on the joke, though nowadays he has gotten a bit more aware of the fact but back in the day it was magical.

Pizzagate is likely actual pedophiles covering their tracks by implicating nonsensical sounding, but connected, groups. So the elite pedos exist, but they most likely don't fuck kids at Chucky-Cheese.

kek will smite you

something bad is going to happen to you this week

The fact a most of the media dropped everything they were doing (Castro's death, Trump bashing, Syria civil war) to start the "fake news" meme over a small pizza place is what makes things look shady to me honestly.

You're an autistic guy.

im sure we have paid russian meme insurgents, but its also silly not to assume the illuminati seeks childrens life force

It's supposed to be the other way around, Chris.

Is SRS raiding us again?

for 8ch

I see it too. Don't worry, now that CWC has a proper vagina he too can give birth like a real woman.

This has no right to be as cute as it is

Is he still selling that meeting with himself on ebay?

This is no doubt cwc

Something like that happend to me. It hurts like hell, you get stitches and thank god for creating opium.

You know, I didn't really think they would learn anything from the fire, yet I'm still disappointed in them. Also, check out all that soda he is drinking… I'm amazed he's still alive.

PLEASE

this is his real account, some of the videos he forgot to turn the comments off which is gold.

I think he is. $500 to meet Cole Smithey and pay for his expensive craft beer.

Not a bad price to have the privilege of meeting with the (self proclaimed) Smartest Film Critic in the World™.

What the fuck man.
Degenerates need to be removed.

Remember how Toy Story 3 got only 2 bad reviews? Cole Smithey wrote one of those reviews and it's clear from it that he still suffers some sort of childhood trauma caused by Barb.

Did Serbs listen to this while removing kebab?

When I was a child I would always smack flies dead whenever I saw one but one day I was curious about what would happen to them if you just left them alone, then it started doing the same shit as the fly's doing in that video, I found it kind of disturbing at that age and I have ALWAYS tried to kill flies whenever I encountered one since that day.

I enjoyed the references to Misery.
Kinda dark for a kid's show though

I don't want to click it.
I don't want to click it.
I'm going to fucking click it.
I need to fucking click it.
God fucking damn it why did I click it.

Mother of God

Mike "LGBTBBQ" pence

Maybe

It was fun while it lasted.
Weird that i've been respecting Sega more recently.

They've been doing pretty well lately, at least when it comes to Sonic. Mania looks fun and if 2017 is anything like Colors or Generations, it'll be fun.

CWC thread?

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how does ones genitals get that bent?

he might've actually broke his dick, while it has n obones you can still ruin the blood vessels