Solo- A Star Wars Story

It's finally here guys! Will it be kino?

kys redditfag

So tomorrow is the real trailer. It's going to be bad.

Oh no.

If you're a nerd for costume design, set design, and artistically composed scenes, these Soy Wars movies have something to appreciate.. but man, this thing is going to SUUUUUUUUUUUCK on every other level.

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Sure showed off their lead actor there.

Oh wait.

The visuals are good.

It will be visualkino.

That's kind of the heartbreaker here: If the script was half as good as the visuals, these movies would make the original trilogy look like shit. If they picked good actors and put some actual focus into developing the setting and telling a compelling story, they could be making some of the best damned kino ever filmed.

Instead, they are making executive mandated schlock meant to fill a contractual obligation that they jumped into with literally no plans and no one of actual talent in control.

they need to scrap story and just give space battle porn tbh

Soyboy- A NuWars Story

Rogue Juan was pretty good on that aspect, I agree.

I'd be fine with that, honestly.


If these movies were as ugly and lazy as the writing and acting, not even normalfags and soyboys would defend them… but because they are pretty and the CGI team has swooping, epic space battles down to a science, they can pretend that these movies are better than they actually are. TLJ's bombing run scene and the silent warp jump scene are more responsible for the positive reception those movies got than all the corporate feminist GRRL POWER shit they tried.

100% critics 44% audience watch our fucking movie you cattle

The film will be good for everything except Han Solo. And it was be praised.

Plz no

They're gong to reveal that chewie is gay I'm calling it now

Finally we will learn that Lando and Chewie were once lovers. It really changes the scene in ESB when you understand that Chewie is choking Lando not because he wants to find Han, but as an act of domestic violence.

Chewie is actually transracial. He's a Twi'lek belly dancer trapped in a Wookie's body.

Also expect a lot of bullshit about the First Female Droid™ (yeah, Kennedy seems to ignore the prequels).


I agree and to be honest I would've liked to see the original version, the one that Gareth Edwards had in mind before Kathleen Kennedy decided to fuck things up. I would've enjoyed a war movie in a SW setting, with the death troopers and stromtroopers actually killing people and not falling and dying because they missed a step.

But he has a wife and children.

I don't know if I could ever be happy with what they're doing to Star Wars as a concept, but it is mildly interesting to think of the possibilities of an anthology of stand-alone Star Wars movies, not prequels, midquels, or sequels, where different directors and teams envisioned their own stories, all kinds of different stories, told in the Star Wars universe. I'd be down for a Star Wars romcom, or a dark noir-style murder mystery set to the backdrop of an Imperial occupation. They wrote a few hundred novels in the Star Wars universe and created tons of games. The damned thing clearly has potential for all kinds of stories. Why do… this shit?!


Holiday Special was deemed non-canon decades ago, and the EU is gone too, so Lowbacca doesn't exist either.

I felt like that with Rogue One. The best part of the entire movie was the space battle scene and I wish the whole movie was just that shit. They keep trying to do character pieces and drama but they cast actors who CAN'T FUCKING ACT so it's awful. They have more CGI muscle than anybody could ever imagine, just use that shit.

I like how much detail went into those scenes. They 3D scanned every pieces of an old Star Destroyer model kit so they could have the perfect model.

here's your sage, OP

Admittedly, that doesn't look as bad as I expected.
Though most of the work is already done for them. The aesthetics of the OT, and a cast of characters most people already like are already provided.
All they have to do is control themselves, and not completely ruin Han's character, and maybe we'll have a forgettable, inoffensive 7/10 on our hands.

Anyone else think they ripped off the first (abrams) Star trek? It feels very similar to that trailer: fast car, recruitment into academy, etc.

watch the movie at least 666 goriillon times!

They cant act, come off as loathsome, the dialogue is garbage, and the writing also shit.
The black guy they picked for Lando is completely wrong (I really dislike that actor) but then again they miscast everyone in these disney movies.

Ruined EU stuff…. yes I know its non-cannon but come on at least use some of the Eu's ships. If the SD could go into atmosphere & because its before ANH it should have been a victory class SD (PIC related) also the Calamari showed up for the first time around the time of RotJ and helped turn the tide with their ship yards and technology… therefore sticking them in rogue one doesn't make sense nor did it make sense to have a battle of Endor type space battle since the destruction of the first death star was the first major victory of the rebels.

It keeps happening. The spinoff films are always much better directed than the mainline ones, they look nice, not as cancerous as the mainline ones yet the script is bound to be shitty, due to being a pseudo prequel the plot is already there and finally due to actually having been directed by someone who knew what he was doing 90% has been reshot and it has had its edges trimmed into a bland corporate design.

I wish Lucas hadn't sold the property, if produced by him and not the kikes at Disney this could have been great. He loves envelope pushing kino and isn't afraid to take risks.

Disney's canon is nothing but garbage made to push agendas and make gullible norps spend money. The new ship designs are nothing short of retarded and the old canon always managed to give high quality ships and tech. >>>/sw/5817

As they are more inventive than the black recolor tier garbage disney came up with.


They won't Han will be emasculated all throughout film and his back story will be a deconstruction of the character that will turn him into a faggot pretender rather than the OT Han character people like.

Queen fatass looks pretty bad there is it the horrible wig or did she age poorly?

Queen Fatass hit the wall gut first, she is a grandma now.

Would still impregnate and breed her tbh.

You know what? It might not be due to corporate meddling and reshoots but I bet if this is actually good it will be the first one to flop hard commercially. They will say it was due to being the first Nu-Star Wars film to not have a female lead. It's always like that with big budget films I like. BR2049, John Carter and so on. I don't think I've seen any big budget film that I've both liked and that has been successful at the box office in a long time.

the star wars music ruined it, it could've been a decent scifi film.

Only if she puts on more weight to cover the beginnings of old lady neck.

Audiowise that trailer was a mixed bag.
Bearded man resting his head on his hand and looking bored.jpg
Woha, something that isn't self referential and derivative! Maybe this will actually be…
Nevermind.

I want her as plump as possible tbh but she got really self-conscious after getting bullied for being deliciously thick.

I concur, she looked so much hotter with a bit of weight on her. Some of it went to her arms in a not so attractive way but most of it to her bum so good tradeoff

Why is OP always such a faggot!?
WEBM

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They barely have the actor playing Han on screen. You see more of the back of his head that his face. His acting must be shit. I guess confirmed.

chewie takin' a bullet so the rest his family doesn't have to suffer..

I always assume men in fursuits are gay, tbqh.

Gareth Edwars made something so fucking pozzed it scared even Yidsney and they toned it down and put the Darth Vader scene in, which is the only good thing in the movie.

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so…gay club
That niggress is holiday special tier.

20 dollars says 93% critics, 46% audience.

Trans.

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oola's actress was a darkie so, it's already been done, user.

Good observation. This film can't be salvaged because they chose some random faggot who sucked off Spielberg at a party.

Since TLJ did about that poorly and it was supposed to succeed and the Han movie has supposedly already been written off as a failure by disney I think a few things might happen:
-A high critic score and very low audience score lower than TLJ .
-Censorship of the score so it doesn't drop below a certain point, despite how unpopular it is.
-Paid reviewers "turning on the movie" and giving it a low score (permission granted from disney).

Tin hat time about point 3: Since the Han movie is not the main movie, they can spin it's failure as a lack of sjw/ feminist propaganda (obvious lie), articles proclaiming " the fans have spoken they want more female and PoC main characters"… This would also allow and give permission (specifically to "the idk why I hate it" the soy boys that were duped into watching TLJ multiple times) to po'ed fans to take a shit on this and forget all about TLJ…. Which would be disney's calculated attempt at directing the anger and resentment from the fan base to a shitty spin off rather than the flag ship trilogy movies. After which they will shill for the next marysue movie by leaking something "interesting" Grey jedi? new character? Return of Snope? Maybe some other EU thing/gimmick to mislead and con people into believing that the next one might be watchable.

66% critic 54% audience, they can't keep lying.

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Kind of looks good. If it wasn't a part of Disney's Star Wars but rather OC from some other company I'd go see it tbh. The flying car looks cool.

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I clapped when I saw the car

As if you'd know how it was, soygoy.

If the entire film was just a very long one take shot of Emilia's butt I'd watch it tbh.

The whole thing was shit.

Seems to be a common theme with Disney's Nu Wars,

And in a relationship with Han.

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seriously?

the soyboy meme came at a really bad timing for yidsney, everytime i see the solo logo the mental picture of soylo and mouth opening soyboy always cause me to chuckle in public.

I think I said that just to have a third thing, but a lot of the background characters are pretty nicely costumed. It's most of the main characters and side characters who get camera time that look like shit. Like Admiral Purplehair and her giraffe neck.. and purple hair. Or Rey's moronic triple topknot and weird sleeve thing. Shit like the the golden nigger is just atrocious, because they are clearly trying way too hard to make something exotic and spacey, but it comes off as retarded runway postmodern art shit.

Forgotten knowledge tier post

Nu-Star Wars are thots, they look good, they're dumb as fuck, and they'll be irrelevant in ten years

What is Grace Jones doing in Star Wars?

Yfw this will be Police Academy in space

Vader is Lassard
Solo is Mahoney
Chewy is high tower
And so on

NOT a good sign…

Shh, you just gave them the recipe to save this train wreck.


Thx. OP failed yet again.
Remember the times when trailers showed the main protagonist so people would say something like "Wow, new Schwarzenegger. I gotta see this."? Why don't the show the bar mizvah boy? Really makes you thonk, huh…

I would watch that.

The official shill lines are going to be:

1. This is a return to form after TLJ whose blame falls solely on Ryan Johnson
2. Spinoffs are better than numbered titles because it allows greater freedom to tell a story
3. Focus on the movie being a first for homos and fembots in SW

Screencap this.

Bravo, Kathleen, shekel well spent.

I clapped when I saw the Star Destroyer. Star Wars is back guize!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wept a bit, this is my childhood!

It's not like it costs much to bribe people these days anyways, some people do it for free!

I clapped when I saw Emilia.

Star Wars sucks now. Move on.

This will NEVER happen. TLJ is the Disney vision of Star Wars fully realized. If Disney does disavow it and declare Rian Johnson a faggot, I’ll consider it a huge win.

Yeah, the narrative was that people only disliked it because muh vagina, they're not gong to backtrack on that.

Someone awaken the BO from his ethylic coma and make him wordfilter Solo into Soylo.

no, word filter "Han Solo" -→ "Ranger Soy'lo"

If I was the BO I'd wordfilter Star Wars to Star Trek and vice versa, just for fun.

Han is in it for like 5 seconds, this does not inspire HOPE

They'll deal with the matter quietly if they see a need to do something. And only after they dropped the third part into the cinemas. It's too late to backpedal.

Have you seen any movies made before 2015 user?

Oh they will back track on that. Just give it time. Look how all the shills that defended TFA saying it was not at all a remake of A New Hope, only to admit that when it was time to defend TLJ for being "new and innovative". The same will happen when they need to shill out Episode IX. These people have no integrity whatsoever.

Here is the actual trailer.

(checked)
He really is a Soylo

Interesting take on Guardians of the Galaxy, but why did they recast everyone?

He's a fucking bobblehead.

I shrieked when I saw cheewie! This is important!

Finally a stronk womyn showing the men how things are done. This really changes the game in regards to Star Wars.

GG Disney.

WEBM

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Okay somebody is taking the phrase Afrocan American way too seriously…

This is how lefty view their pets

Looks worse than the first trailer.

The entitled nigger alone ruins this

It looks like the cosplay fanfiction of a trust fund millionaire film student.

Emilia is much better than that nigger painted green tbh.

lol

I will go see this at least two times tbh.

Another spaghetti monster

It looked pretty bad tbh.

The nigger with an afro really made me lose all hope for it.

The kessel Run was famous but not in the levels disney is making. This is your tipical EPIC movie full of CGI, senseless action, and stupid distractions. Move along, there isnt nothing of value in this movie.

kek


do newfags really not know goatse?

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All I see is strong black women who teach Han all he knows. Was it wrong for me to expect this to not be completely pozzed?

It's disney you idiot.

Holly shit you're brutal.

this is almost exactly Rogue One except you know half of them survive.

How about male lead superhero flicks?

Will the toys sell this time?

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It's weird to think that Disney are ripping off their own movie now.

OH NO NO NO NO NO

I don't remember people complaining about that in that scene from Force Unleashed. I agree that these monsters should be built on space and remain there.

You again have a point but it was always obvious that explaining in the EU that Calamaris declared war on the empire a little before RotJ was just retconning.
If a remake of ANH is ever made I'm sure it would feature tons of different ships, a lot of aliens and a diverse cast of pilots. I hope the fat guy isn't killed right away this time.

kys

Repeat with me:
NOT TALL ENOUGH TO BE HAN SOLO

What did Kathleen mean by this?

And a fucking bobblehead. Just look at the size of it.

How do you pass this dude up?

Mother of Donuts will have more screen time than Spielberg's boy toy who can't act, calling it now.

The vast majority of newfags do not know goatse.

Why are there clouds in space?

That would be a good thing honestly.