ITT: post worst controller ever made

shieet… this game looks sort of fun.

to bad about the

LOL LE SILLY GUN
preordered.

Do NOT buy this game!

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I hope I can use the Wii U Pro controller on the NX.

Christ, I want DICE to burn

what the frick is wrong with that thumb

Don't worry, I don't support EA or most western studios… not only that, but the Battlefront beta showed me that DICE's best days are long behind them.

arent we all

You're angry at them for not making a style of game that consumers won't buy.

YOUNGFAGS GET OFF MY BOARD

where am i?

THEN WHY USE A WWI SETTING NIGGERLOVER?

Shitton of cuckchanners are here due to the Switch and RDR2 annoucements.

I said NOT to buy, are you retarded?

The fuck was wrong with what the last guy said? There are way worse controllers.

I really just want to throw it against the wall. All 37 grams of it.

please tell me that is real, I need it for laughs

Because it's not the setting. It's the gameplay.

It looks like a car-opening remote.

How about for being SWEDEN YES and making shit games?

They're really shit, bro.
Just look at that Sonic vid they did. Whole video is them being shit at vidya, or just flat out not knowing what they're talking about.
Guys are fine for movies and that sort of jazz, but I'd trust a brick before them when it comes to vidya.

I mostly laughed because of the mainly part.
MostlyTears. ChieflyTears. MainlyTears.

Consumers don't care about Sweden memes.
Consumers don't think their games are shit.

He's butthurt because he knows he's too young to remember these fucking monstrosities.

Who fucking cares? I don't even watch them, I just have a .webm

How in the name of God are you meant to use the first two?

That was Pre-Rec, RLM is mostly Mike and Jay.

AMERICAN SIZED JOYCONS WHEN

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Eat shit nigger

Consumers dont care about anything as long as you market and spitshine it.
Whats your point Lars?

What's wrong with the Wii U Pro Controller, Mr. bait? It's pretty comfy in my opinion.

You're in 2016 shitlord

A game like the original Battlefields would not sell anymore.

Eh. I'd personally not post hipster trash webms from garbage people, since it makes me look like hipster trash myself.
But to each his own, I suppose.

Fair enough, but I do know that those two in the WEBM are the ones in the sonic vid what are absolutely shit at video games, and can't figure out basic controls.
They're shit, whatever they're on. At least when talking video games.

Be honest, do you even know that much about these guys other than they shit on a game you like?

It would if it was hyped for normalfags.
Like bf1 is.

BF1 is nothing like the original games.
Not that it matters, BF (and most online shooters) are trash.

I don't even like Sonic.
I didn't much play any of the early games, as I was poor.
But I can take a look at what they're saying and figure out "Hey, I think your complaints are just you being shit at the game".

If you support the casualization of video games, I guess you might like them.

But, to answer your question, no I don't really know that much about them. I watch from time to time the movie stuff. That's at least interesting, and they seem to at least know what they're talking about. Plus, you don't have to be "good" at movies.

Coincidence? I think not

This is one big scream to trick people into buying the pro controller, isn't it?

Accessory sales are where the real money is. Consoles and games make a couple dollarydoos, at most. Controllers, protective covers, carrying cases, portable chargers, and all of that will make Nintendo a fortune off the Switch.

Er… wrong post?

You don't even need to say "no I don't really know that much about them", they shit on modern games for basically being movies as well. They are shit at old vidya though.

You can be a faggot and not take it up the ass, user.
It isn't the ass what makes the faggot, after all.

They call a game shit because they're bad at it, and don't understand a basic gimmick of the game.
They may well whine about games being like movies, but that doesn't mean they aren't the same sort of scum casualizing games today.

RLM being hipster or not is debatable.
Personally, i only consider Jay to be the true hipster of the group.

But he's the cool type of hipster, the kind of person that actually knows what the fuck he's talking about and has extensive knowledge of movies and doesn't back down from discussing, breaking down and analyzing said movies and exchanging opinions with other people he probably sucks a damn mean dick too and isn't ashamed of it

The rest of the group is something like:

Mike - Sad aging guy that claims to hate shit but will do a complete 180° once he interacts personally with a director/someone in the business he made fun of, he's actually pretty easy to please and his cynism is mostly superficial

Jack and Rich - Casuals, that's the end of it, overanalyzing them is useless, they're just casuals.
Rich is less of a casual but still a casual.
They hold the average opinions a casual would have and video games are only their side hobby.

Josh - Gives his best when he's paired with Jay, is closest to Jay in terms of mindset and the closest to being an actual "knowledgeable" hipster alongside Jay.

Nice bait, faggot.

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Only people that never played or owned a Saturn say that. It was the best controller of the 5th gen

fixed it

sorry
this should be better
n
o
w
i

This stuff is starting to get rather bothersome to me.

I know what you guys are meaning to point out, and I've seen it around here.

But you are starting to go a tad overboard.

It's becoming a witch hunt.

What that guy did is mostly fine.

He's making a list of the people after all.

I wouldn't call it "4chan spacing".

Which I assume is the new term for "leddit spacing".

spotted the guy that never owned a N64

This x100000

Shut the fuck up, the n64 was retarded.

You push 7, 8, 7, to swing.

He's not wrong, but I will give you that the thing wasn't that bad.
Still, it felt like shit, and the middle bit what horribly awkward.
Also I seem to remember it being made of rather cheap plastic or something. Never felt right in the hand. Might've just been a limit of the plastic tech at the time.

shouldn't you be in school? little punk

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he is just a new guy trying to fit in so ignore him.
never heard of:

shouldn't you be putting ur girlfriends daughter to sleep? little faggot.

Hue

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Maybe I'm looking at this through nostalgia goggles but I can't think of anything the early Crash's did wrong.

Crash 1 is pretty terrible to be honest.
Crash 2 is literally perfect.

Nice quads.
I don't really remember much of it, but I remember it was only "okay".
Didn't jump out at me.

Make it smaller. It's not laughably stupid yet.

I gazed upon the latest game informer and they had an article where they ranked every single controller from worst to best, and they put THAT POS at the top.
The marketing is real.

2 > 3 > 1

It was made for Robert Downey Jr. in mind.

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There does seem to be a larger amount of shit threads here than usual, although perhaps some that I found during my sweep existed before today.

I'll be honest, I mainly did the sweep to see how bad halfchan would be today.

r2d2 has been around for decades what the frick

That sucks.

It's probably a subtle joke at Trump with the sausage finger bs. Like saying he has big hands and a small "gun".

i know this game is pozzed as fuck, but that's quite the stretch tbh fam

faggot

It's a breeding ground for avatarfags and some of the shittiest posters on this site probably squat down there on a regular basis. It's not as bad as 4AM but it's getting real close.

Jesus, halfchan's gotten way worse since I left.

This. →

Indeed it has. I decided to take screencaps of Halfchan whenever some retard tries telling people that it's better there than it is here, and I've gotten nothing but depressing results every time. It's not just "oh, today's when they revealed Redemption 2 and the Switch, of course it'd be chaotic", pic related was what it was like yesterday.

I can't believe they're STILL doing console war shitposting on cuck/v/. I has been so many years.

3 had more movements, more variety, better graphics and more replay value.

You'd think they'd get bored after so many years of console wars.
Mark's a kike, but one of the few good things he ever did was ban that shit here.

What? How can you not say Jack? The other guys even call him out on it.

Actual knowledge always acts to negate hipsterdom and the core of being a hipster is also "liking" things just to show how unique you are. Jay always struck me as genuinely liking the perverted shit he's into because he's a pervert.

"reddit spacing" is how you tell if someone a newfag. It can happened to any person even if they never visit reddit. You double space because newfags too stupid to adjust the reply box, the most common thing they say is "its so peoples can read muh post better".

What they dont know is that the reply box and the actual post is not in the same formatting. What may seems like a wall of texts is actually a single line of post, so they double space every single line.

Next time, adjust the reply box

I'm using Holla Forums definition of hipster, aka "this person has in-depth knowledge of this movies/music/basically anything that isn't video games because when it's video games i actually can relate so it's not a hipster.

That gun is actually real by the way
I don't know if it's "tip of my fingers" small but it really is tiny

Nice to see that motherfucker didn't lose it after getting hired.

The n64 controller was great you fucking kid.

reported for child pornography bie bie pedo :)

Nah, the build quality was fucking atrocious and after a few months the stick develops ridiculous stick drift and then eventually just flops all over the place becoming completely unusable because of how retarded the design is.

I'm pretty sure the worst controller ever is a smartphone.

Reported for false reporting.

Reported for announcing a report.

And you can't kill shit with it.

There was more than one handheld with that interface, right? I'm pretty sure to have seen a Donkey Kong 3 version of that.

I also though that thing was the basis for the SNES controller shape.

that is, until they can recognize dickprints

This tiny gun idea is cute as fuck. The game is sadly beyond shit, but the idea is cute. I miss shit like that in vidya. I want cutesy game modes and silly easter eggs to make a comeback - like Big Head and Tiny Body mode in Turok for example.
That's some golden age vidya stuff right there.

They also flat out lied and said the TV button on the Wii U didn't work.
I've been using that thing to switch inputs and adjust volume for years now. It's been a freaking godsend.

tbh fam i loved the intellivision controller as a concept. you can't tell from that 1st pic but there's a small slit on the right edge (hint: the circle is the D-pad) where you inserted game-specific custom overlays. usually the overlays had game-art and once you memorized the keymap you'd put them back in the box.

I'm surprised all consoles haven't switched to $20 shitbox Android phones with custom analog/D-pad grips.

FUCKING POLYGON
Glad I left there when I did

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I can only assume you got a shitty model or something. I've had mine for over a decade with no problems and I'm usually pretty rough on the sticks.

Welcome to reddichan user! Enjoy your stay!

Jack is the hipster
Jay is just cleaned up over the years

Nigga what the fuck is even wrong with any of the posts he replied to?
The first guy said "Do NOT buy this game!" and he somehow took this to mean "Buy this game"
The second guy just asked if he could use another controller and the third guy called him young because he thinks the Switch's controller is somehow the worst controller ever made when there have been far worse.

Being a total fucking retard is okay to you as long you're able to push your opinions, huh?

Unless I get major hand-cramps from this thing, I'm totally willing to let this slide in the name of portable local multiplayer. Nintendo Switch looks fun, which is why I ever play vidya in the first place.

are you blind and illiterate? those happen here every day

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Cuckchanner confirmed; it's redchanit and you'd know that if you were here longer than a day you fucking nigger.

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You're either baiting for confused about what a console war is, but I'll bite regardless.
A console war is when you shit on certain or all platforms other than your own. It's a bit of a misnomer as usually PC is included in console wars.
An example would be something along the lines of
However, making a thread to solely talk about something like the Xbox or PS3 is not a console war.

making a thread to solely talk about something like the Xbox or PS3 is not a console war.

does it have force feedback?

need to know for science, of course.

Report the console war baiting bullshit in the threads, then. There is a rule against it.
8ch.net/v/rules.html

The mods don't know what's going on everywhere in the board at all times.

Hey, I got along fine with this shit so

You mean the gamecube controller.
The N64 controller controller was terrible with the analog stick being on that middle part and the d-pad being on the other side of the controller.
Try playing an N64 game that utilized both the d-pad and analog stick and report back.

So like– none? Except for Pokemon Stadium minigames and Mario Party, which didn't demand you to instantly switch in real time on the fly

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I disagree, you just have to make your games compatable with it.

I just wish more companies would copy Rocketcat's Pro Swipe technique. I'd say you could go up to SNES levels of control complexity with little or no control issues.

It's called a high functioning autist

oh yeah, speaking of autism, I forgot to post best controllerfu

and best mouse too for that matter

Wouldn't that be not a hipster. Autists are the coders, hipsters are the trendy "idea guys"

That's talking about Battlefield 1 and mocking it. What, you can't do that or some shit if you include which version the bug occurs in?

That's just retarded, and so are you.

I can think of one example: Rare FPS games had an alternate control scheme which used them both, and you still had to use the other face buttons to switch weapons. It sucked. But the N64 FPS games were fucking terrible anyway (like, even more terrible than the idea of separating FPS from M+KB controls is in the first place), so it doesn't really matter.

the N64 controller was fine; FPS was really the only thing it didn't do well. The Gamecube contoller was a huge upgrade to it though; I think that if you added a second bumper above the L button and gave it true analog triggers instead of the two-stage ones it has, it would be the perfect controller.

What I don't understand is why no one has copied the Gamecube's button design. Seriously, that design was absolutely PERFECT because almost every game has one button you'll use more than any other, and building all the other buttons AROUND that button was an ingenious move. It gives your finger the perfect place to rest, and allows for minimum delay and confusion when using any given button. But no, even Nintendo themselves decided to go back to the standard 4-button diamond, which is functional but not excellent.

I will say that the 4-button diamond WAS the correct decision for the DS though, since you sometimes need the buttons to be a D-Pad substitute for left-handed players.

They were analog. The first stage was a gradient that was analog and the final click was a digital signal

I bought this piece of shit at a garage sale for a dollar. It was not worth that dollar.

are you sure it doesn't go in your butt?

The only good thing about the controller was the Z trigger.

Though it was at least better than the PS Controller which didn't even have an Analog stick and flipped out of your hand once you sweat a little.

It's objectively bad. Go ahead and try to hit B and X or B and Y at the same time. You can't without doing a fucking claw. On any other device of the era, which all used the SNES button layout by this point, you could hit any combo relatively easily. A+Y (SNES) is a little odd but doable, and even if you say it's not, that's still only one bad button combo instead of two.

The Gamecube button layout objectively gave developers less options because they knew certain button combos were impractical. The SNES style design that everything from the Dreamcast forward copied was objectively better.

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The Intel Wireless Series Gamepad also known as the jewish toilet seat.

I like how the they've got a finger imprint, must of wanted it to look super high tech.

Someone post THAT image, please.

Diamond combos:
ax, ab, yx, yb
Game Cube combos:
ab, ax, ay, xy

Literally the same amount of combinations. Also, xb is another bad combo on the snes.

That utterly useless d-pad.

He thinks it's funny playing with his ass.

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Fuck off manlet

Foot size is the one proportional to height fatty mcsausagefingers

The gayest fucking controller I have ever seen. So much faggotry. Gabe Newell is a faggot.

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This is wrong for many reasons

Wingman was a fine controller if you didn't lose the fucking analog sticks when they inevitably fell off

You're the controller

My brother had one of those.
I liked to masturbate in front of it while it was on.

Not really. The Wii was a horrible console with a horrible controller.

That's not true and if so, then the NES controller was horrible too

The Wii-mote sucked because motion controls suck. The NES pad was better because at least I won't have to worry about accidentally throwing my controller at my TV screen.

If only they had some kind of strap that avoided for people with butter fingers.

/thread

Just by tone I can tell you are a cuckchanner

Please tell me why it's gay, user. I'd like to know because I actually kind of want one.

Who's that Handsome Manson, user?

I love how people are becoming more skilled at weeding out the halfchanners.

Valve shill, please go. Only Gabe Newell, after eating 30 acid laced McChickens and snorting coke off a hooker's asshole, thinks trackpads should ever be used for anything but a shitty laptop mouse.

Sorry, calling me a shill isn't going to convince me that the steam controller is shit. I'm looking for answers. Why is the steam controller shit?

I think Jay just wants a boyfriend, so he cleaned himself up.

It only works for games run through Steam in Big Picture mode. There is zero third party driver support so you're outta luck if your game doesn't run through Steam for whatever reason. The trackpads feel like ass for gaming and the button layout is both ugly and feels weird.

Fuck that. Thanks, user.

See the circles on the game pad? They are nipple titilizers. It's used remotely to make Gabe Newell aroused around his nipples.

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I have tiny hands of a small spider monkey and this shit will still give me cramps

So you're either 12, a female or a trap.
Which one?

too bad he got into fucking DICE

I'm not sure how useless it is, but's certainly a fun toy to play. Super comfy for games which support simultaneous mouse and gamepad input. The haptics are pretty fun. When using the gyro, the haptic feeback clicks around in a way that makes you feel like you're rotating the contoller around a mechanical pivot, not in midair, which actually makes gyro aiming feasible.

why not all three?

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It wasn't so terrible from my memory, played a ton of Tempest with it and don't recall it being uncomfortable or anything.

It works fine for Mario 64.

he's making fun of you because no one here buys any of their games, you're clearly new

There were 3 games in the "Micro VS" game & watch series: Boxing, Donkey Kong 3, and (the best) Donkey Kong Hockey.

This awful piece of shit wins.

traps usually have big hands, just saying.

Reddit needs to leave.
now.