GENTLEMEN

...

lel

So 18 quintillions levels?

As much as I laugh at how hard the Ouya crashed and burned, these comics still break my heart.

>linkedin.com/in/derrick-samuels-71333416

>Marketing, Business Development, Sales, Internet Marketing, Guerilla Marketing
>Social games industry professional, specialized in partnerships development and sales management
HE'S A SHILL TURNED DEVELOPER

WITH NO VIDEO GAME DEVELOPMENT ON HIS LIST OF EXPERIENCES

ouya-chan didn't chose to be created like that

...

woah, a computer creating entirely new levels for a game on its own
what an amazing brand new idea that's totally never been done before

ouya tan did nothing wrong, her parents betrayed her

PFFTHAHAHAHAHA

But guys

UNLIMITED GAMES

I want people to fund this just so it can fail again, and ouya tan gets a little sister that also has to give away their consoles

How many of these backers are part of the company trying to inflate the numbers?

wot

That's 4 ways to word 'you can make games on this'

oh boy

surely anybody wouldn't doubt this console after ouya?

It just gets better and better.

I mean, these guys were fucking hopeful as shit.

there are a lot of shit here but this seems like the most obvious lie of them all.

This phrase never fails to amuse me.

Again, the chinks have to teach the west how to make quality knock offs

Reminder
tps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwbpBwyZCdY

Shovelware incoming

Despite being an obvious scam, I do loke the idea of an all-in-one self contained development and game platform. It guarantees a certain standard (eg palettes, process flow) across several kinds of games.

For a hobbyist thing, look at PICO-8. This is just an overpriced scam though

This must be fancy money laundering scheme, it must be. Not after they saw what happened to the Ouya.

...

The Fuze Tomahawk got announced some months ago only for the chinese market, and I got to say, it's miles better than the shit OP posted

Haha no there is nothing suspicious about a half dozen people making an account just last month and pledging with an incredibly hopeful and supportive comment haha tinfoil hat please

If it's rootable (as almost any chink console is) and is cheaper than the GoogleTV alternatives, it might be at least a decent emulation box.

Also embed related

...

The PICO-8 was a nice idea, but it should have strived for some less limiting specs, like a Genesis/PC-Engine

I hope the kikestarter succeeds so we can see this crash and burn.
Bonus points if the people involved turn out to have been involved in criminal activities.

Holy shit you guys, I'm having a serious case of deja vu. I could've sworn that I heard about this thing YEARS ago. Like, it was the exact same thing but with a different name. It even talked about having Kid Destiny as a launch title (it looked like an IWBTG knock-off). I remember seeing an interview from a local news station with the CEO of this company (a nigger) talking his "intelligent console" thing. I have no idea how I came across these videos so long ago, they didn't make sense back then, the don't make sense now.

33 backers
7k of 25k
4 days to go

Well its going to fail but still 33 dumbasses in the world

And seriously only 25k to make a console?

Artificial Intelligent GUISE!=

As if copying the PS3 D-Pad wasn't criminal enough

Oh, boy. Here we go again.

Wait. I think not.

Could have been worse, imagine if they had used the Xbox 360 design for the directional pad

...

I actually prefer the XBox 360 one
But then again, it's like comparing solid shit to diarrea

found an unboxing video from 5 years ago of the same company's "smart console"

Jesus, this couldn't be more of a conman's vita if it tried.

Oh fuck you guys look at this
It's the same fucking company and everything
This video was made in 2011

Yes, Im sure this is be successful, better pledge

...

whillst the Ouya atleast tried to be a real thing, this just looks like a blatant scam.

I can't tell if this is an obvious poorly constructed scam or if it's just made by an oblivions idiot who doesn't understand how computers work.

Exclusive gameplay of "Zombie Shooter" and "Alien Terminator Delux".

Fuck those jews

...

...

JUST

Btw, they have been trying to preddle this for at least four years now as the Oton is mentioned in this article from 2012(!):

archive.is/dsuTP

It's Windows 7. With a custom XP tier dock and theme but 7 nonetheless.

Also, they didn't learn that controllers in glossy plastic look like absolute shit?

It's worse
It's Vista

...

God damnit I was seriously hoping this had gotten more attention so we could it royally crash and burn like the OUYA.

Nope, 7.

>implying Vista isn't better than XP

Okay

askvg.com/fun-tip-enable-windows-vista-boot-screen-in-windows-7/

Also used for the Windows 7 DVD installers

lol

I actually didn't know about that.
Is there any point to it? Like can you customize it?

I don't think so, you can customize the default W7 boot anim quite easily though.

You best start believing in shill threads, you're in (1).

Frenchman listen up, this is an american board as in for AMERICANS.

Graphic Controller: NVIDIA next generation ION (ION2) GPU w/ dedicated 512MB DDR3 Memory
Display Resolution: HDMI 1x HDMI, Display up to 2560×1600
Audio: HD Audio 5.1 Channel, Digital Audio HDMI
or SPDIF (Optical) 1x Mic-in, 1x Line-out interface
Processor: Intel Atom D525 1.80 GHz
System Memory: 4GB
Ethernet: Realtek RTL8111D(L) GbE, 10/100/1000Mbps, 1x RJ4
32 GB Solid State Storage

...

:^)

...

My fucking flash drive from 2010 has more than that.

Dude i had a PC from fucking 2006 that had 32 GB of memory

Uhh i believe that might be a phone.

fucking baguette

It's worse than a Samsung Galaxy

Why does that sound hilarious?

It might as well be. The cpu is worse than a 200$ phone.

its just some shitty mini PC

Fuck me.

WHY DOES NO ONE STOP THIS, WY CAN'T MULTIPLAYER GAMES JUST HAVE FREE FUCKING MMULTIPLAYER
AAAAAAAAAAAAA

Hosting servers costs money.

Hey, that's my OC!

Somebody told the creator he could be whatever he wanted to be, so he became a scam machine.

Yeah, pennies per month

Wow

isn't that what buying the game is supposed to fund?

I wonder who's mom stepped in?

Post more smug cuntboy
Goddamn

I'm going to make a kickstarter for a console that gives blowjobs and turns lead into gold

Also why do they advertise that you can resell their "free" games?

...

kickstarter.com/projects/qquip/oton-x-the-first-artificial-intelligent-game-conso/comments
Too many. It's time to exterminate the human race.

Sometimes I'm so good with MS Paint I scare myself.

How did you get unlimited storage from pirating vidya user?

MORE

Screengrab this post

OtonX will flop

Download more terabytes of storage.

You can always download more games whenever you feel like it.
How does OTON have unlimited storage?
And I COULD tick the "Resell OTON Games" box as well because they DO resell pirated games in slav countries and china, but I chose to be the better man.
Slightly improved version.

This has to be a fucking joke.
It has to be.

...

Each one would be paying $227 each to make it reach the price it's at. No real people are backing this.

THE TURNING TEST
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

It's still techinically not "unlimited storage". torrents are not good for holding personal files like saves and private data I know your porn collection user. Even with could storage, I'd like to see anyone willing to store 900TB of data for free. So that technically is not "unlimited". Also free cloud storage may not be the most reliable for long term storage, as sites go down.

this is a joke, right?

What a nice paper weight,

isn't that even better than the ps4/xbone?

wowee howee zowee that is one SHINY looking console and xbone controller
but what can it do?
it's literally an overdone controller holder with a GPU stuck inside

what were they smoking

Love how blatantly fake all this dumb bullshit is. Way to demonstrate the intelligence of your console, with completely scripted or pre-voice recorded footage.

Fucking amazing.
It's the No Man's Sky of consoles.

I have as much RAM as this turd has storage. Please let it succeed. I want to see the butthurt when the slave drones who bought this thing realize a week later that they'll need to delete games to make room for new ones.

...

user…

...

>OTON X
She must be quite thick

there guys are full of hope, I'll give them that.

SKYRIM HAS INFINITE QUESTS!

...

THIS MAN IS A FURRY WHO WAS ACTIVE IN THE MY LITTLE PONY COMMUNITY FOR YEARS

whut? Source?

ciiircuit.tumblr.com/archive
derpibooru.org/tags/artist-colon-ciircuit

Goddammit, not again. I still want to give Ouya-tan a nice home and warm food forever.

those are puppet accounts, they're there to tell the stupid to back this up because they did. When they fill the gap and then some they pull back those pledges.

...

Maybe you should make a kickstarter for mass producing ouya-tan figurines, so ouya-tan will have many homes.

But of course, how silly of me

...

where can i buy a OUYA so I can give her a good home?

Seriously.

It's just more No Man's Sky-ish lies!

No Man's Console

Why do people like it so much when designing consoles or controllers?

no user, a rape baby

Why do people for even a moment think this will fly?
How downright cripplingly oblivious to the nature of the console market do you have to be to try and pitch something like this?
The entire console market is predicated on exclusivity, it can't exist without it.
Then you have PC which has I don't know, 3 separate things you can do to play on a couch with a controller if you wanted?
1) Buy some small rink-a-dink modular PC
2) Spend $50 on that Steam Link shit
3) Just stop being a lazy asshole and hook up your PC to your TV

that looks amazing!

DELETE THIS

No one's stupid enough to give this shit money right?

fucking come on man

THE WORLD MUST KNOW
Seriously dude like 90% of what you've ever drawn was horsefucker shit. You only stopped in 2014, as well. I've done embarrassing shit as well but it was all 8+ years ago.

Shit, do you know what all of this reminds me of?
kickstarter.com/projects/973736766/the-cybermatrix-100-tu01/description

I can't blame anyone for jumping on a bandwagon, if it's making them money.
But I jerked it to horses before they were pastel colored.

The DOUYA?

Oh dear, this is embarrassing.

kek

If this is a scam, should its console-tan be a really poor trap?

Might as well have said it provides unlimited energy and cures all diseases in the world just by using it

My apologies fellow burger, I was tired and didn't bother to rename the file.

It's called Frogistan now

This thing just screams "knockoff chink console" but for a new generation. It's the Polystation 4.

Oh wait, I think I already have the perfect depiction of the oton-tan.

I guess I just have to wait it out for 6+ more years, then.

try looking in a dumpster behind an abortion clinic

Ok they ditched the chineese to go box in favor of tupaware.

...

STOP!!!!!

I get it. This is a test to prove that some folks would fund anything no matter how fake and stupid it sounds.

...

Or it's money laundering. Maybe those obvious fake donors aren't just there to inflate numbers…?

we've already had these tests

see:
Solar Roadways
Fontus
Triton Artificial Gill
Thorium Fuel
Pollution to Plastic/AirCarbon Plastic

Honestly it's pretty fucking autistic to dig up his history for no good reason while he was dropping OC we should be laughing about.
you just did what many hate horsefuckers for. Injecting their shit into everything where it shouldn't matter

...

>OtoNX

Nintendo's new console is an Ouya?

...

Proof that those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

So… did the Ouya had any proper game? starting your console and then asking for your credit card isn't something too nice.

Why do people trust kinkstarter again?

In college I was taught that crowdfounding was going to be the hottest shit in the world, now look how it goes.

Hello sweat

Wait, what? are they selling a console with AI? This is worse than the mixed blood of a chinese and a jew trying to lie the shit out of you just to get your wallet.

This is why English class DOES have value. If you write like a retard, people will assume you really are one, and that hurts your chances of selling someone on your product.

That's the face of someone who lost his soul and his happiness.

I guess it's his fault for falling for a scam. Still it is a shame.

so this is the power of open sauce

Yeah, oton, I can also take you everywhere. TO the fucking toilet.

It's just a shitty flash platformer with proc gen
Move on

Everything checks out.

Just go on e-hentai and search for locon fam.

So, OTON-tan when, assorted drawfags? Going off the "console" the character would be based on, I'm assuming she'd look like the perpetually-scheming Jewish lovechild of Anne Frank and SHODAN.

nogaems All-In-One shit confirmed, i hope you can at least ask the console if it likes your dick.

you know why they call it the turning test? because when you see it, you turn 360 degrees around and walk away

Jesus christ I've never seen a more obvious scam console.

Star Citizen's Chris Roberts

...

32 GB is the smallest SSD size you can currently buy, just as 4 GB is the smallest DDR3 memory module. It needs to be converted by an external memory controller, because this year 2010 Atom CPU natively supports DDR2 memory only. Yes, it's this outdated.

The nVidia ION2 isn't manufactured anymore. It was gimped by its PCIe 1.0 x4 interface, so it never repeated the success of its predecessor ION (which was basically going PS4-tier years earlier, but got shut down by Intel quickly).

Thanks for the oc

Wasn't the ouya just a money laundering scheme like most of the $5m+ dollar kickstarters?

Star Citizen is one for sure.

What the fuck is all this shit i am reading.
This will be Loss the console.

There was also this card game called "exploding kittens" that got almost $9,000,000. For a card game.

kickstarter.com/projects/elanlee/exploding-kittens

...

...

It will have more and better games than ps4.

Pretty sure Razer bought her, so don't worry, her tale has a bittersweet ending.

razerzone.com/press/detail/press-releases/razer-acquires-ouya-software-assets

i didn't fall for any monetary scams that i could avoid and my face is worse than his

Just like that dragon with cancer.

Getting that much money for a card game isn't the offensive part.

Getting that much money for a card game with terrible fucking artwork where the only "gameplay" is "Draw a card. Did you explode? No? You didn't lose! Draw another card. Did you explode? Yes? Oh no, you lose!"
It's the rough equivalent of, say, a video game where you have a staring contest with a still image and then click a button when you blink.

Good OC. Now and back in the day.

...

Drawfags get to work

...

Get on my level.

you fucking monster!

Arent some games fucking 32gb alone?

Yes. Most newer rockstar games are fuckhuge.

Makes me wonder, which games were first to be over 10 GB in size? I've never seen/owned games that used more than one DVD, pretty sure there were dual dvd ones, but never 3.

People are going to lose O Ton of money backing this.

probably pstriple and xbawks games

Drawfags?
OUYA-TAN.
SLAVE GIRL OUTFIT.
NOW.

I'm so ready.

They need to embrace the fact that these are miniature PCs, not consoles.

more

Only option is for games to be installed on the cloud and streamed to your box as you play.

Its never gonna happen user

The drawfags have abandoned us to go draw more wolf dicks instead

Half-Life 3 confirmed?

IT BEGINS

AGAIN

#knotallmen

do anglos actually wear heart patterned underwear?

PS3 BTFO

And they didn't call it the OUYA TOOYA?

Oh well not going to be many keks to be had.

someone'sa never been to brazil

Surely you mean the PS4?

...

no you cunt
i sell them

You resell them.

fuck you

No, the PS4 and Xbone have 8 GB of unified memory. Their default hard drives are kinda tiny, though.

I want to see this shit get funded so I can see how poorly executed this ends up being.