Now that the dust has settled, was this game really as bad as people said it was?

Love you anons.

The only reason anyone ever cared about this walking simulator was shilling.

You roasted yourself hard enough.

How? The mechanics are practically the same as in any David Cage game, and the story is some generic teenage girl drama, with some time re-wind thrown in as a gimmick.

shut up and jack off to these webms

Nah, I was actually curious. Back when Chapter 5 came around I saw a lot of threads calling it the worst game ever made, but I never got why. I didn't like it, but it wasn't painful to play. Just boring as shit. Nothing ever happened and like said it's "hey fellow kids" to an insane degree.

What the fuck mate that's an insult to David Cage games. The decisions you made in Heavy Rain actually mattered.

Chapter 5 was the best one though, and had the most variety. The dream sequence is changed significantly by your decisions and Jefferson finally tells Max to shut the fuck up.

Is Chloe the single worst fucking lesbian character of all time?

I'm not even mad when I see hetero porn. From what I've heard she's that terrible and retarded of a person that she could get raped for all I care. Might have gone gay just because no sane man would want that as a girlfriend and went tumblr out of spite.

She is not a lesbian, she even mentions in-game that she went through a "boy-toy phase". Her initial reaction to time powers is "you can fuck anyone and have no consequences". She's a sluuuut.

The only thing good that came out of that "game" is Brote's Life is Dranks series

The ending was insulting though, even if the rest of the game wasn't great. It boils down to A. Reverse absolutely everything and basically never play the game in the first place or B. Kill off almost everyone and basically never play the game in the first place.

I hope I didn't fuck up my spoilers.

LUL not really, but ok

She ranges from intolerable poorly-written bitch to slightly tolerable poorly-written stereotypical teenager.

I don't know, but it is one of the few games that kept me playing from the first episode to the last one fast as fuck wanting to know what would happen next…

Shit test detected

The ending was shit yeah, but not worse than most other plot twists. Oh no, max can teleport into locked rooms. Oh, Max can stop time completely. Oh, if she saves a dad that totally makes Chloe a cripple.

test

TEST HAHAHHAHA I'M DYING

I ment taste, fuck my life

It was hella shit.

What objective metrics are you using to gauge quality?

Low hanging fruit

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Oh, and the game fucking sucks. The fanbase is ten times worse though, probably because it consists either Tumblr, literal children, nu males, or any combination of the three.

You have low ass standards mate.

Part 2

I am not using any metrics… Just telling my damn opinion you tard… and, believe it or not, I've played quite a lot of games.

You know what I don't get? How rarely anyone rags on the fat "go away max I'm contemplating shit" purpled haired chick. I think she's even worse than the blue haired thundercunt Chloe.

Both of the main characters are unlikable idiotic cunts.

pffft! says you…

Well, she isn't in the game much and you can rewind time to hit her in the head with a ball.
She also pretends that she made the "road less traveled" speech and it's not nice to laugh at mentally retarded.

I've seen way worse.

This.

saved

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Kill yourself, template poster

keep that phrase in mind

Yeah, that's a fuckup.

wait, is this the game?

theeeee cringe

If only.

then what the fuck is that?

A webm on the internet.

Wasn't this a cuckchan meme? Never saw it on here before.

It's because the same cuckchan posters that started shitting up the site are coming here.

Absolutely bland. It would've been somewhat tolerable if Chloe was relegated to a side character rather than tied to your fucking hip. Hell, replace Chloe's role with the christian girl or Victoria and have the plot finding out what the hell caused the 'fucking tornado. Who cares about the dead girl?

It honestly feels like a game designed for Patrick Bateman, down to the empty pop culture references and lesbian obsession

It's not stylish enough though.

Shitposts and bait have been running absolutely rampant the past few days.
I've been doing it too

I don't mean an American Psycho game, I mean a game made for Patrick Bateman. He acts just like a 2010 hipster, outside of his murderous side.

No he doesn't. Patrick Bateman cares deeply about his image, about his body, about his clothes and about his social status. He takes time to perfect his body, mostly out of narcissism, but still. He isn't the kind of fuck to wear cheap jeans and blog for fat acceptance. He would hate everyone in that game.

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From a writer's standpoint, non of the characters have any redemption and none of them learn anything.

Nobody has any character development except for Kate.

Max was a bland protagonist who achieved nothing and learned nothing from her actions.

It took away all of the gravity from your actions and consequences. You don't care about anything you do because you can just rewind it.

Add pacing that is literally all sidestory for 4/5ths of the game and you have a turd.

Nothing happens the whole time in regards to the story and nobody develops because of it.

Chloe's stepdad learns something over the course of the game, for exapmle that putting spycams in the shower is not a good thing.

sage reddit threads

Sage and report. Kill yourself, liberal.

What the fuck do you think sage does?

Sage for copying and pasting the line that lets us know exactly what you are.

Excuse me, what?

counter-counter sage
Get cancer and die, faggot. Nobody wants you shitty, template, shill thread.

But it's not my thread.

the one where the guy shoots her in the head so she shuts up is the best

pls don't bully guys

Get cancer, shill. You think advertising your shitty tumblr game with porn will work? Think again.

Sadly there is not much like it, unless you like cinder blocks.

It's not tumblr, it's just french and french are faggots.
But there is a tumblr lesbian dating sim based on it, seriously. loveisstrange-vn.tumblr.com/

very nice

rolling for dubs.

heh

You are very bad at it.

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its obviously fucking tumblr as tumblr can be

To be honest the porn is the only good thing to come out of it, but the 8mb size limit is killing me.

SO CLOSE

and yet so far

start saging faggot, don't keep this shit thread alive with porn

what's with the sudden influx of niggers?

Well I guess?

I don't have many webms that fit the size limit yet, so it doesn't matter to me either way. It's a shame that there was barely any actual discussion of the game.

What do you mean?

It's basically sweden in here.

I've never been to Sweden, does it have many niggers? I heard about the arabs, but not the niggers.

wait wait hold on just stop for a-

wherever you came from, please go back and stay there

It's bad? What's more to say? it's double bad. Triple bad.

What? Where are we going?

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Such a missed opportunity.
And now I got to actual cuck porn, the fucking fanbase of this game never stops making new kinds of garbage

YOURE A FAGGOT YAOURE A FAGGOT STOP POSTING IN FAGGOT TEMPLATE THREADS FAGGOT KIKE NIGGER CUNT

wow

Just made the loudest fucking laugh, I didn't know there would ever be cuck porn that I approve of.

And it's a second post for you, friend. Maybe it's time to stop? I pretty much ran out of shit to post, unless one of you actually wants to start a videogame discussion.

A) I enjoyed the porn
B) stop bumping the thread
C) I can't name a single thing about the game to discuss. It was bad. There were a few small moments that caught me off guard with quality, but ultimately if I go the rest of my life without hearing it's name mentioned, I'll die a happy man.

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The funniest part is that it's a commission. Some fuck actually paid money for this animation, and specificaly requested this level of cuckery.
The guy who animated it said that "he'd do a white guy version, but the comissioner was really against it"

where do you lads get your folders? Is there a collection I should be aware of?

arabs are basically niggers. just sand niggers.

i wonder how much i'd have to pay to comission an entire porn movie of a character with voice acting and everything

Last one then. I ran out of porn anyway.
We did have some interesting threads discussing the ways it could have been better, why time travel in it doesn't make sense and arguing about the moral of the story, which seems to be "don't even tr to help anybody".

Hey, he is actually a nice guy who was just having fun.

I'm just one lad that has a shit internet provider that fucks with my ip. To be honest I already posted most of the bearable shit here, but you could try rule34hentai.net and search for life_is_strange animated and see what you like.

No arguing here.

A retardedly large sum. SFM faggots are either good samaritans like LeeteRR or the greediest fucks ever like Aadvark, who'd take hundreds of dollars for a bad three second animation.

For the desperate artists these days? Not much at all. Studio FOW makes em for donations, so I'm guessing if you drop $20k on a couple of amazing artists and VAs, you'll get the 2001: Space Odyssey of rule 34 porn.

hahaha just wow, normalfag MSM drone detected
i bet you love trump

StudioFOW is many people, and it makes 14k. almost 15k a month. So they release one mediocre voiced animation a month, but it's voiced and done by multiple people for efficiency.
Fuck it, I promised to not bump anymore

>How the hell do you take a concept like "time traveling teenager solves a murder mystery with her lesbian girlfriend" and fuck up it so badly?

Alright fine. Let's say some dude made OK money and wanted a film made. He'd drop around $20k on a group of mid-high end artists and get a decent film.

Now if we're talking like the best of the best there ever was, with hours of content and real story. $100k. Yeah.

The porn for the game has more content than the game itself.

I don't know why I would expect anything less.

lmao.

The game is shit too.
The story is awful.
The characters are unbarable.
And the gameplay is non existent.

Hey, the women don't look that bad, especially Kate
It's doesn't feel like a 50 year old wrote it, I'm pretty sure that's what happened.
Time travel is shit in any story.

For 20k he'd get a five minute animation, made mostly of still shots and some looped sex animations while a woman that sounds nothing like the character recites silly sounding lines.
For a hundred thousand the lazy fucks would just run with it. They are not profeccionals, they are tumblr smut makers.
lordaardvarksfm.tumblr.com/post/149547110188/blue-star-episode-1-the-job-naughtymachinima
See this? This is the quality you can expect.

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If you approached someone like StudioFOW with $80k and said "I will give this to you in installments as you complete this mega film I want. If you complete it, I will give you an extra $20k" they will absolutely make some kubrick shit.

Or, alternatively, they can make those 80k in five months with no strings attached while making minute long animations.
FOW is not one person, it's just a face for a bunch of contractor animators, most of which are mediocre. They would definitely take the contract, but it wouldn't be any good. The closest thing to that I can think of is unidentifiedsfm's series, and it's rather bad.
Maybe it's just my lack of faith in humanity speaking but I don't believe SFM animators can do better than 15 second loops.

FPAHP

Misogynists need to leave. This game is a work of art.

More like a work of FART.

i want to fuck an orc loli

Are we being raided?

ironic shitposters

Your white boy asshole is being raided by a group of feral pavement apes queer.

This review sums is up pretty much perfectly.

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What a great review, but at least it has memes, right?

La Rasa ?
Jew ?
Nigger ?

Which ever it is your ass is about to be unable to shit properly when I'm done with you.

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Excellent taste, dude is seriously one if not THE best comedic reviewer on jewtube at the moment.

I beat it, and it was a spot-on review. Kill yourself, shill.

half white half pajeet

do you still shit on the street?

of course not, I don't live in that third world literal shithole

Why is Holla Forums getting so cucked recently? Goons or CTR?

How does that work out ?

Do you poop on the side of the bowl or something ?

yeah fuck CTR, mario kart was better

it's not a gov agency, but there is an influx of retards, especially when they're retarded enough to post a template thread unironically.

the alleles for not shitting in the street are dominant

E;R is a Holla Forumsfag that tries to fit in really hard by using Holla Forums memes, i.e. just cutting to minutes of hitler speeches at the end of reviews. He also has no fucking research skills and is extremely lazy, to the point where he can't watch the three Mad Max films to form his opinion on the fourth. I keep seeing his shit on Holla Forums and I'm fairly certain it's him posting.
It's not "spot-on" as his lack of playing means that he is misrepresenting the game. For example, he says that you are locked into a lesbian shit with Chloe, but you can actually fuck her over the entire game, and when you sacrifice her in the end it's a lot more hateful and there is barely a hint of friendship.

but do you feel compelled to do it?

Holla Forums's been getting better recently though. i don't know what did it but i'm liking that, we aren't on the same low point we were on late 2015 or the start of this year

10$

its still the waning days of summer mate

worst thing i have seen is the constant barrage of faggotry threads

Want to settle it right here on the ring ?
Why don't you strip out that uhhh, jabroni outfit ?

Not really.

1+++++++ xDDDDDDDD

so there's some pajeet blood burning inside of you afterall
let it all out my friend

shitting the way pajeets do is the best way

the european way of "sitting" while you shit is bad

you poop faster and strain less by getting into a crouching position

t. a crouch pooper
it why i cant poop in public restrooms, becaue i would make too much noise and or look like a crazy person etc.

So do you just squat on the toilet seat or what?

yeah, with the seat up, or down if said seat is big enough

that sounds difficult, have you ever fallen in

It's a joke review, it's not objective in any way
oh heavens no! Anything but using a certain type of memes and humor! The humanity!
He does that, like twice.
wew he got one thing wrong in a meme joke review about a game he could even be assed to play, oy vey! what a horrible and terrible reviewer!
kill yourself, please. I beg you.

I can't tell the difference anymore, but I do remember Holla Forums being particularly shit around that time, I think it was due to Holla Forums falseflagging. 2015 was a blur.

I was just stating facts. I can't prove gov agencies but I can absolutely provide evidence that there is an influx of retards here due to World Peace and the alt-right getting big and what have you.

I love seeing that happen, in all honesty.

Is there a cringe award for games? This game certianly takes it with the dialogue.

Nah, MGS2 takes that one with the Rose codecs. Even those it was purposely written poorly to set up a soap opera type bullshit, it's still the most cringey shit I've ever heard in my life. The game is still my favorite, but I skip that shit every single fucking time.

It's comfy but overall a shit plot that's narrowed down to two choices.

That is a risk only if you have weak legs or take noticeably long to do it.

anything in the same vein as telltales decision simulator games is inherently bad. LiS was bad from their very first draft because it was never going to be a real game

stopped here. Designated dubs thread.

I guess that's the kind of storytelling only those people are able of.

Why isn't "now that the dust has settled" not a bannable term?

why hasn't mark bumplocked the thread yet?

WHY? GOD! WHY MUST WE SUFFER?

let me try it again

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samus is pure
take that back

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fuck those trips.

i guess she is pure

now peach, peach is a slut
I want to shit into peach's vaginal cavity

her face is weird

she's a bimbo
just look at those blowup doll lips
I really want to shit into her vaginal cavity

runny or firm?

firm. I want to flagelate her cunt with a long, hard piece of shit hanging out of my butthole.

your face would be weird too if some one shit in your vagina

If anything, I'd be the one doing the shitting.

Mark you piece of shit bumplock this thread already.

she really does have those DSL

she could suck the color out of your dick

Now that the dubs have settled, let's check em

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high quality post but no dubs
better luck next time

"SHILL SHILL CANCER SHILL KILL YOURSELF GO BACK SHILL CANCER SHILL SHILL SHILL CANCER GO BACK TEMPLATE THREAD SHILL FUCK OFF SHILL CANCER CANCER CANCER TEMPLATE REDDIT SHIT SHILL"

A community that gets its laughs by acting like idiots will soon be filled with actual idiots who think they're in good company.

I don't like the argument that games like this aren't games. Even if you don't like particular ones, story-based games can be good fun. Sam & Max was basically a walking simulator, but it was a fucking great series.

Enough with your pseudo-intellectual bullshit, that quote doesn't even apply. Faggots who post the same generic template threads need to be executed on sight. Take your pompous ass back to reddit if shitposting where shitposting is needed triggers you.

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Come on guys.

Who cares about your fag opinion?

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