ITT: Your favorite video game character now has your job

ITT: Your favorite video game character now has your job.

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I have a feeling this thread is going to be depressing as shit with everyone having the worst possible jobs because they're subhuman retards with zero social skills and no worth as human beings whatsoever.
Also a shit ton of "ur projectinnngg XD" posts to mask the overall sadness of the entire board.

So he's unemployed? K.

Oh boy, this is going to be pic related.

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Take that idea, rename the protagonist for legal reasons and make a Flavour of the Month quirky indie game. You'll make millions and games jounralists will be all over it. Alternatively make an actually good game with the idea of casing joints through the rubbish you find. It wouldn't be as profitable though.

Something tells me the servers placing orders won't live long.

why do you have that saved any why is that page 4?

Demoman as a scaffolder?
he'd be fired the moment he climbed his blind drunk ass up the wall

So she's a NEET now?

I'll just go with the last one I played as.

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10/10

It would be a pretty simple job with CHIM.

Hope he loves looking at spreadsheets all day.

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I don't have a job. I imagine most vidya characters would end up like Marshall Law from Tekken after he quit fighting; He became a drunkard.

I am a drunkard. fucking normalfags get off my board

Fuck, forgot image

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Wario is the new Gaben

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I assume going to massage parlors are still a thing, though.

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I don't have a favorite character really.

That said, database administration and IT tech suport is hardly exciting…

I'm changing this formula up to make more sense in Holla Forums's context

Your Favorite video game characters practices another one of your hobbies (if gaming is your only hobby, then they go full NEET, loser)

Venom Snake is now a stage actor who is constantly typecast into 'veteran amputee' roles

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whoops forgot to spoiler

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shiiieeet

Huh.

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Don't start that shit….

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I have worth as long as I have my memes

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perfect

He'd probably be pretty good, he's like the only alchemist who actually knows shit in any of the games.

Considering he refills his potions with nothing but alcohol though, I have my doubts.

i can sorta see terry doing that

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He's a pretty fucking good alchemist if he can transmute alcohol into any other liquid substance

What is this thing you call a job?

There's shit other people don't want to do and you don't want to do but they have money and tell you if you do it instead of them they'll give you some of the money and pretty much everybody does this until they die.

That sounds terrible.

Most jobs are things other people can't do, so they trade whatever skill they have for your skill indirectly through money. Mutually beneficial exchange.

Well it's probably more than she was making before

How do you live?

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The thought of Bayonetta forecasting weather fills me with depraved glee.

She'd be a damn sight better than the insufferable cunts I usually work with, that much I'm sure of.

POST TITS

I live with two other aspiring comic artists and they both have jobs.

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Biggu Bossu gets into solving jigsaw puzzles.

Biggu Bossu now designs safety automation systems for factories and power plants.

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I can't imagine Naked Snake would have any interest in being a clinical microbiologist. I guess at least he wouldn't be against cutting tissue or swabbing shit.

Also AM is the favorite villain but I chose my favorite protagonist because AM designing shit that keeps nuclear meltdowns at bay doesn't sound healthy.

Simply having the ability to do something does not mutually exclude the fact that you don't want to do it.

Of course not, but lacking the ability to do something does exclude doing it yourself, which means you have to pay someone else to do it; and in order to do that you have to offer some skill of your own. It's not a matter of rich people being lazy and paying poor people to do everything, it's just indirect service trading.

wait a minute I recognize that bear

Any decent paying company is only looking to hire snowflakes to keep false claims of exclusionary hiring practices from being levied against them. Trust fund shits are everywhere, and have more than enough money to pay for hormone therapy and lawyers.

On the other end of the scale, any place that would be nice to work at can't fucking hire anybody due to minimum wage going up, and mandatory health care for full time workers.

Hope you like being a permanent temp, or get stuck in a shitty service job until you save up enough to buy the H&R Pardner Pump, only $199 at Gander Mountain, and a box of slugs, lie and say that you're going target shooting with friends, and then paint the ceiling of your bedroom as your house burns down around you, or you just walk to the middle of fucking nowhere and blow three quarters of your head off in a dense forest where nobody will ever find your corpse.

Having the ability and the desire to do a job, even with certifications and degrees, doesn't mean you'll get into that field before your knowledge and skills fade from complete lack of use.

Idk how I should feel about this

I can see Shulk having a job like that.

You know there's no market for that, right? I suggest you try learning a skill that is more in demand.

At least he'd be the most sexy in the office.

Spotted the AlphaBlaster

Isn't AnalBlister like 16?

He'll be giving his clients erotic tales instead of pills.
I expect a high mortality rate under his supervision.

I don't know, but he is a queer that wants to rape Young Link's/ Toon Link's butthole. I would throw him to the bog if I had the chance tbh.

Do they want the >>>/d/

I remember someone posted a picture of him wearing a MAGA hat and he looked like a 16 year old Justin Bieber type faggot.

nifty

Get a job nigger unless you don't live with your parents and you got government money, in that case tell me your secrets

There are male nurses you mong.

Do you have the picture? I want to see what FagBlaster looks like.

They are worthless fags anyways :^)

You sell gunpla? Tell me more.

Does anything really change that much?

Nope, sorry. I never saved it. I remember a few months back someone posted it in a thread where someone asked why tf2c died.
Seems like every game Holla Forums loves goes to shit in one way or another.

Okay, I guess.

I can't help but think that he'd quit immediately and just get himself a job working at a gun shop or a shooting range.

Eh. Guess I'm not that interesting.

Got any neat stories, detective user?

Gonna build the best mother base ever out of only plywood and sandbags, hooray

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Well shit, however I missed so many threads on why tf2c died because i was living on a rock, can anyone redpill me on TF2C?

Link is a stay at home mom. Doubt that would really work out.

oh no

WHAT IS DOES GENETICS HAVE TO DO WITH SAVING MY YONAH?

Not falling for your tricks, schlomo.

I don't really have a favorite game character, though. Most of them are, frankly, rather shit. And most the games that I really put time in, otherwise, are either silent protagonists surrounded by assholes, or make-your-own-hero RPG jazz, with most every NPC just being filler.

It also doesn't mean that you don't want to do it.
Plenty of people have jobs that are things they like to do.

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Atleast he doesn't have kids.

What's there to say? I sold gundam models, but I quit because the shop was too far from home. It was an ok job. Discounts were great, but the customers were mostly shitty casuals.

B-but, he can't give old folks nitroglycerin with bullets…

Too bad I don't have a favorite character, not that it matters I don't have a job either

Pardo is now unemployed, giving him all the more time to hunt down the ultimate monster, the Miami Mutilator.

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The reality is that the bread and butter of PI work is infidelity investigation, and to a lesser extent, insurance fraud. Interesting things like corporate sabotage and murder are less than one percent of cases. Do not fraternize with gypsies.

And they're okay with you being the weak link who can barely contribute? Do they fuck you?

I SWEAR ON MY BROTHERS HONOR THAT I SHALL GIVE YOU THE GREATEST CUSTOMER SERVICE FOR ALL YOUR HOME CONTRUCTION NEEDS

That's what I figured, thanks anyways user.
Does the gypsy thing have a story or is that just general life advice you picked up from dealing with them all the time?

You've dishonored her. 1v1 me.

We're not sure how it's happened, but there have been a lot of gypsies hiring PIs, especially lately. It's become a recurring theme around the office, and with PIs that we know, that gypsies are relentless cut-throats who have no sense of loyalty. They'll basically sit down in your office and say, "I want to destroy this person. What can we do?" Also, a huge number of them are involved in scams.

There are things that are illegal to do as a private investigator. There's a good chance that a gypsy will try to get you to do at least one of them.

"Gotta go fast…….I guess."

Uh.

With THAT out of the way,

I imagine the scan visor helps out a lot. Tells her what's wrong with everything she works on.

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Well, I guess Gordon Freeman is the law now.

How boring.

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>Wario is now a house husband

Can't say I envy her


Disgusting

**Cooking Mama game but with Bayonetta instead when?


glorious


> STRANGAH STRANGAH, NOW THAT'S A WRITING UTENSIL

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Jean Reno now drives a forklift. I'd buy the movie

also, don't you dare bitch about your job. i did the night shift at a hotel for like five years and i miss it every single day

He already has a job, as opposed to a mental sickness.

Is that a Doritos Taco?

give me

Snoiping'sagoodjobmate.

Huh. I guess Venom finally got tired of being a medic and got himself a full medical license.

When you consider the chemical composition for alcohol, the potions he brews probably take the most effect out of the hydroxyl found in alcoholic substances and require large concentrations of ABV in order to form the full chemical reactions for stronger potions. Assuming that the strength of the alcohol is what affects the strength of it and only alcohol as a liquid will do for the potions, the potion is probably formed into the desired chemical composition desired with some unwanted materials left over and the alcohol composition turned into a mixture of both the desired effect and the unwanted materials being toxic hence why Geralt will get sick if he drinks too many potions too quickly.

I wonder how something like pic related would be for creating a potion although nothing in this category of alcohol is really available in the series.

He's not that kinda guy!

HOLY SHIT WE FOUND THE BEAR

The joke's on him.

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They'll do fine and get a job, hopefully.

Not too much of a stretch now that Dad Bowser is more of a thing.

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You know, that's not as out-of-character as it initially seems.

He's probably just kill himself

unless ur gay i dont see what the problem is.
ud be the only dude with like 10-15 chicks

As long as it's the cool minority and not the weeb majority.

TITS NOW OR GO, COW.

dont be so assumptious, user. They could be a male stay-at-home mom.

Shut you

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The FPfags who made the game promised to keep the design philosophy of the game as close to the original as possible, and proceeded to absolutely betray it.

You know I think she would be okay with sitting around, getting drunk, shitposting, and jerk schlicking all day.

I'm unemployable.

You meet your monkey-beating quota often enough, officer user?

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First pic looks like the demon is doomguy's neigbour stumbling into him doing seedy things in his garage.

"Oh hey Doom, mind if I borrow your lawnmow - OH MY DICK WHAT THE FUCK"

He would probably get to school more often than me too despite being a fucked up mutant glued to a computer screen.

Midna is now a level designer
I guess she makes new dungeons and shiet

oh lawd

DOTH THOU WANT'ETH SOME SHITTY HOTDOGS MAYHAPS A SLURPEE

Imagine if you walked in on a human holding a chainsaw with a shotgun on his back, blood all over the place and sparks shooting out of the walls. Shit would be fucking terrifying.

At least he brought a couple friends.

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You can say that without telling us what you're working on, nigger.

That's actually one of the first hentais I jacked off to I think. Good memories.

I guess they don't have to wear PPE when things go wrong.

Name one video game protagonist that wouldn't commit suicide working as a solitary farmer.
Maybe the one from Dungeon Siege?

Is shitposting on Holla Forums a job?

survivor from factorio

i think it counts as community service

yeah because women are never total bitches

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explain

Just hope she wouldn't drop out of college like I did.

Jesus fucking Christ, I knew Holla Forums has temporarily gone to shit after that recent Time magazine article but god damn is this bad.

It would be of little practical use.

Interesting turn mr. mailman

How do you even have a job? That sounds like such a niche thing. Also,

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Im gonna need some greentexts on these.

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I have a normal job user, I just do shit like that on the side, its pretty easy money, you're there for an hour, 2 tops and get 150-200$

i want reimu to cry in my mouth but i dont want her to be sad

Well, his little sister would be happy that he isn't a criminal anymore.

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THE DEDUCTIBLES JACK!

nigger how the fuck does this even make sense

Joke's on you, I used a VPN!
I actually just lied about my profession to make it funnier

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Styx is a professional job searcher.

JC Denton's actually probably not a bad fit for that job.

He probably would have flipped out and killed everyone in the store already.

He'd probably be the best at it but imagining that fucker taking a call to some suburban mother's house and fucking around with her craptop using the touchpad while asking her general questions about the shit she downloads in the JC Denton way would easily be the most jarring shit to look at.

It'd be funny as Hell.

I'd play the shit out of that. C-can she be at the register too? I wanna order a smile with my burgers

Like, just imagine embed related playing and seeing his low poly ass asking questions in his stilted dialogue, with options for statements like "Ma'am, does your son watch internet porn?" And then she kicks him out, but later he sneaks back in the house, fixes the computer, and steels his fee out of her purse while Alex Jacobson rants about NSF.

I'm imagining him with a large whisk instead of a drill attachment. Heh.

there has to be more

Some throwaway racing/flying shit for a local VR arcade cabinet for now.

Data mining thread?
Data mining thread.

Oh I'm mining for something alright.

Samus working on airplanes?

Okay.

What hell have you resigned yourself to

Working at a comp for 12$ an hour and >30$ for independent jobs.

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Max Payne working as an IT Tech

Can a robot even afford college tuition?

Kaine now works from her home talking to customers over the phone all day.

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Falcon makes licensed video games
for mobile

wew lad

What comic do you draw for.

He has no fingers though.

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Geralt of Rivia is now studying Polish language culture and litterature at Uni.

Pretty spot on.

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you see ivan when you having of no finger, no chance of hit finger with hammer

Hardly, Geralt wouldn't be a useless faggot.

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but vlad how do fire gun with no finger

Not to rain on your negativity or anything, but the people who oftentimes recommend college degrees are either from an era where things like that actually did anything Baby Boomers and shortly after their generation or are listening to such people.

Trades, man. Take an apprenticeship. If they aren't offering them, you cold call them and desperately try to make it seem like they are.


Afterwards, you're basically left to print out business cards and hand them out to friends and family. Leave them in tip jars. Joe The Fucking Ex-Pleb Plumber's name should be on every scrap of paper he hands out, because that's how he gets paid.

Also, Tomba as a mechanical engineer. Everything is assembled with violence.

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I can't decide if that's a curse or a blessing.

At least he'll make killer lectures, I guess.

Elgentensity get the fuck out

I'm a college student.

That means my character is now a generic JRPG hero.

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>

Of course he did work at a convenient store for once.