ITT: SHITTY PORTS

ITT: SHITTY PORTS

Be they abandoned or still worked on, today lets talk about games that are marred not by poor localization but by garbage tier ports.

To start off with I'm talking about something probably only a few of you knew about, XSEEDS port of Little Kings Story, a fucking great game that was doomed to be a Wii exclusive, until out of nowhere in August this was dropped out with no fanfare, and boy am I glad I read the reviews before impulse buying.
In its current stay the game suffers from
And so forth, all of these coming from moving the game from the Wii to the PC, however it seems that XSEED is still working on it atleast, latest patch was from mid-August and fixed some of the graphical glitches they still haven't addressed the major issues, but promising to steadily work on them, but it probably wont be running smooth until December if I had to guess.

So Holla Forums what other games were good but shit the bed when they platform jumped? Bonus points if they're actually good games but the port is practically unplayable.

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The awful PS2 and GC versions of 6th gen Splinter Cell.

The original PC port of this game was complete garbage.


Good thing the Remastered update fixed all of it and its now pretty good.

ah, this is a PC gaming thread, then?

That's not Double Agent.

Negative reviews: "This game doesn't work."
Positive reviews: "This game is great, but you should buy a console version instead because the PC version doesn't work."

no shit

YOU CALLED ME FOR SOMETHING?

yeah, what else is there to discuss

at least Little Kings Story works great on most branches of Dolphin

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Yeah, I want you to eat a dick and burn in hell for ruining one of my favorite games, prick.

Hello

I'm sure there are tons of others, but this one always comes to mind first.

user
what the fuck am I looking at here

Somebody called?

I almost forgot this existed.

I was the guy in testing team who nagged them into adding the HDR/Bloom/FoV settings to the ini
You're welcome
You're looking at a PS2 port of AoEII. You are now looking at a guide on how to bleach your memory of the knowledge that it exists.

Incompetent fucking nips. They can develop anything for a console but the second you ask them to make something for the COMPUTER THAT THEY'RE USING, they turn into bumbling fucking retards.

MKX for sure.

Strange.

The Wii was just IBM PowerPC right? Shouldn't be hard to port IMO. Am I wrong?

Normally I'd agree with you, but you haven't seen the code spaghetti that these poor bastards were told to make work on PC. Like holy shit, I looked at that shit and took SAN damage.
The game was initially coded in a way that caused it to crash (read: stop loading assets entirely until this finally causes the game to die upon area transition) if your HDD went idle for any reason, because it assumes you ejected the "disc". No, I'm not kidding.

I mean, for fuck's sake, the original console devs tied literally everything to framerate, which is why the PC version unfortunately had to be capped at 30fps. Considering how terribly it runs on the actual PS3, it's a miracle the game works at all. Wanna know the reason music sometimes decides to stop looping, even in the patched retail version? Beats the fuck out of me, we couldn't figure out why it happens throughout the entire dev cycle, and even after release nobody who's played the game can figure it out. Shit is held together by more slavic magic, duct tape, and good intentions than actual slav games.


You underestimate the power of outsourcing projects to pajeets. Remember that Batman: Return to Arkham Exists.

The new gears of war ultimate
I've been trying to figure out a way to port it to ue4 and pretty much just crack it for win 7

Ubisoft didn't port shit they were the publisheoutside of japan, the people who ported DMC3 (and also RE4 and onimusha 3) to PC are sourcenext.

fuck japan

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The only reason I'm doing it is it has pc connectivity with the xbone which may lead to a way of cracking the console.

Also its a fuckton of assets to use in ue4 for dicking around

Least Wolf got an amazing port to the Mega Drive via homebrew.

That's not a port, though. It's its own game.

Ex-Macfag here. The H1 port was a smörgåsbord of slowdown, bugs, crashes, glitches, and artifacts (including constant fullscreen z-fighting and huge purple misfiltered textures) on release, especially since the high-end features in OS 10.2's OpenGL and ATI/nVidia's drivers were bleeding-edge unfinished. Each patch to Halo, the OS, and the drivers gradually turned it from borderline unplayable to one of the best-performing games on the system midway through OS 10.4.

Then when the x86 transition happened, they charged $15 for the new PPC/x86 universal binary patch, right when the Windows port of Halo broke multiplayer compatibility with old versions.

And they never ported Custom Edition or Halo 2

A Microsoft RTS on PS2 published by Konami.

This is probably the oddest thing I've ever heard of.

That's some 5th gen shit right there.

nigger you what

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From the same studio who brought you The Witcher, a shitty port for PC!

Yes yes, Gentlemen of the Row exists, but try playing without that.

Tales of Symphonia ;_;

How bad does it play without that? Because I tried the GoG version and good lord it runs horribly, it feels slightly worse than on 360

Last time I played it without Gentlemen of the Row, it went very fast which made aiming with guns hard.

If I remember right, I had to adjust the graphics so this fall during a certain mission timed all its events out right.

Fucking horrible. it runs 25% slower than it should have, and the only fix (before the mod came out) was using cheat engine to fix it. But it only fixed it slightly. The game would be at full speed but, the cutscenes would be fucked up and the physics glitches out too.

While we're at it, can we talk about weird ports as well? Not completely shitty ports, but ports that you question the existence of.

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well, fuck i was going to get that and be a good goy

It's a terrible fucking PC port, but as the other user said, the people couldn't do much with what they were given.

Most games still do it lad

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Onimusha 3 for the PC had a section that used the PS2 controller symbols for a simon says puzzle, which remains to this day the absolute worst port I've ever seen.

You wanna know a shitty port?

Everything ever madepast 2005. They make games based on consoles now. Fuck nintendo, fuck video games.

Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life - Special Edition for the PS2

For starters it's the final product of the game, anyone who remembers playing the original will recall how empty and barren the game felt but this game comes along and fills in all the missing content that was supposed to be there in the beginning.

However it's like they didn't even try, sure they let you marry best girl Lumina but it's like they copied and pasted all the game's information from the Gamecube version without trying to reformat it so it would work on the PS2.
The game is clunky, slow camera movements, and every character model sometimes doesn't even move properly.

I feel like an idiot when I got hyped over the game and purchased it online when I heard about it, wish I read beforehand if it had any issues…

I remember buying that game, then returning it the next day because it played like fucking molasses, even for a Harvest Moon game.

I was briefly excited for this port
store.steampowered.com/app/389900/

wew?

ctrl+c from steam review
The reasons you shouldn't buy this version:

The game doesn't support modern resolutions.
The sound ballancing is messed up with music much louder than the character voices and SFX, the pigs one-liners (one of the main reasons to play this game).
The controls are mapped wrong with no clear way to remap.
There are bugs and other issues you would expect from an emulated game not something you pay for.
Devs have stated they will not update this product because they lack the source code.

What?

yeah whatever that means

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Here's another shitty WB Games port.

The music of SNES Doom was pretty good, even though its graphics were horrendous.

why do japs keep doing this shit? I see it all the time with darksouls 1&2 and now way of the samurai, but why? is there a benefit to this I dont know about?

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It's just simpler to do when you're working on a specific platform with specific specs, (a console)

Any first person game ever on consoles.

BATITAB

Absolutely everything Koei Tecmo ports to PC. Everything lacks customization, and all of them have problems with fucking joysticks. One Piece Pirate Warriors 3 was supposed to have PS4 graphics, but when you try to do some changes in the menu, it changes absolutely nothing, you're set to PS3 graphics. And the worst part is they never patch their shit.


Nips just can't into PC, fam, mainly in coding. Everything they do is a fucking mess, in a technical scale. But the games themselves are just too good, or better that anything the west shit, at least.

Funny you say that I never had a single problem with any of their game regarding that and I played pretty much all of them except bladestorm and SW4-2, can't disagree with the rest though.

Playing Pirate Warriors 3 with a 360 controller remaps the keys and doesn't let you use the right stick. Is a pain, but when I used a PS3 controllers the keys were mapped as intended. No shit,thought, it's a PS3 port.

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Ports of EA games to the PC back in the mid-2000s always compresses the audio poorly, resulting in music that's both compressed in quality and dynamics. NHL 2004 also cut out tutorial videos I think. It is probably due to EA's constant reliance on CDs rather than DVDs, which is strange since every high end PC at the time used a DVD drive.

I also remember the PC version of NCAA '99, another EA game, being dumbed down from the PS1 version due to time constraints, even though earlier builds had almost everything from the PS1 version. For example, 3D models were removed. I'm not kidding. Compare this to other EA Sports games including NHL and FIFA, which were practically created for the PC in mind.

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Daytona USA on the Saturn, a notorious example of rushed port for the rushed launch of this misguided machine. Even at the time people complained about the low framerate and scenario pop-up. That shit was nowhere near arcade-perfect as promised. And it was nowhere near Ridge Racer on the PS1 either (even though Daytona had better gameplay).