Only one day until release and a bunch of reviews coming out

That's true.
How about the last flop of the summer of flops? That way we don't get it confused with the last flop of the holiday season flops.

I can accept that since its about the end of Summer.

I just hope Fall delivers since it seems to be the only time with games I'm hoping are any good this year.

You still have hope?

Foolish, perhaps. But a man can dream.

...

I'm fine with the game existing, as it's clearly a spinoff. However, the gameplay that I've seen looks kinda bland, so I'll wait until the game's out and people have played it to see if it's mediocre or not.

To be fair with 3DS piracy apparently being easier than before maybe people can try it and see if its somewhat decent?

That is also an option, though I'm a lazy moralfag and won't do it myself.

A lot of Nintendo games have demos, though, so hopefully there's one for this game.

Fuck, meant for

Some Nintendo games do and don't have demos for some reason.

Also reviews are in and the highest just seems to be a 7.5

Eh, meant more video reviews with gameplay/commentary, not so much scores.

Dragon Age 2 got great review scores at launch, and some of my favorite games have average to low scores.

Which are those if you don't mind me asking?

Deadly Premonition and Nier, off the top of my head.

I have played their free demo or whatever, blast ball. As expected, it was pretty damn unfun.
Also, goons who try to retroactively convince people there was a demand for this game and the backlash is only because of the chibi graphics can go jump on a pike.

Those games had a bit going for them besides being co op shooters on handhelds, and they had heart despite being very low budget

Yeah, no doubt about that. Chances are this game won't be as charming to overcome its flaws like those two, but I always like to keep at la smidge of hope with most games pre-release.

Except for Color Splash, fuck that noise

*At least a smidge

Fun fact: it was going to be a new IP.

Reminds me of DmC's fake praise.

Where the fuck do I sign up?

Seems off by a factor of 10

Not even worth pirating

The game doesn't seem so bad TBH. Not GOTY material, but not NMS levels of trash either. There are actual game mechanics and a decent mix of single and multiplayer content.

But like everyone else I just wanted a proper Metroid game.

...

...

But they've done some new IPs. The problem is nobody bought them. Remember that steampunk game?

Why does it look so ugly? Why does it look like a proto-PS2 game?

What is worth pirating? Gotta Protectors is pretty fun, I wish I had friends to play it with.

Because it's on the 3ds.

I bought it, it was pretty good too. Far better than nu Fire Emblem.

The 3DS can and has done a lot better than this though, it's probably not even 60fps either.

I doubt it can produce anything more visually impressive than KH:XDDD, which looked like a late PSP game.

It was a shittier XCOM.

More like Hemorrhoid Masturbation Farts amirite guys? LOL

Ign gave it a 5.9 but gave other m an 8.5.

Might be good

How much of a casual are you

LOL

The entire fight is just giant Samus in spiderball form for the whole thing while doing really basic attacks and damaging her is actually not co-op friendly at all.

I still dont get the perspective to this game.

the MvDK series is walking trash, so yeah.

digging up Gunpei's tomb isn't enough. they have to burn and salt the entire graveyard.

This would be some nolan level brilliance if it weren't so depressing

...

The problem is that Nintendrones actually think like that.

There's a very simple reason for this. Youtube reviewers got fucking shittershattered that their videos covering federation farce got disliked.

Yup, but because everyone would ignore it, they took a moment to stop sucking Zelda's cock and slapped Metroid on this piece of crap

Just… I'm at a lack of words. Why is samus 30 feet tall in morphball form?

What are the feds doing that Samus herself feels she needs to kill them? Every reason she's had to go against the feds have been 100% justified because the feds are as buttfuck crazy as the pirates.

Samus is kidnapped by the space pirates and they use a powerup on her that makes her huge and turns her evil.

Either this game is actually good, or it was so bad, even the most cucked of sites couldn't be bought. Either way, looks shitty so I'm not gonna bother either way.

Gee, most of the websites that gave it a good rating were ones focused on Nintendo? Who 'da thought?

with you so far.
what?
you mean the same space pirates she was a one man tactical fucking nuke to on three different planets?
Are we playing madlibs?

" *NAME* is kidnapped by *PEOPLE* and they use a *ITEM* on *NAME* that makes *ADJECTIVE* and evil!"

and is defeated by a game of blastball

Who made this game? Ridley?

Federation force might as well be chibi robo zip lash 2

You're not wrong.

you're forgetting

It looks like Ice Bolt II but I could be wrong

I believe that goes without saying.

...

Someone explain me Ridley's neck.

two vertebrae with a hinge joint in the middle and a ball and socket joint on the end

Most of their big IPs or big IPs in general had a rough first game but oet a second game in order to fix their issues and Add on what was missing in their last game. Too bad in today's industry they have only once chance to have a game to sell millions in the first week.

They kidapped samus and made her stronger?

I think we would be more upset if ridley were in the game..

==TUUUUUBES==

You're probably right.

>he was planned to show up in Prime 2 since they were re-using assets so much

Yeah, he's too good for such a shitty game.

Does Ridley have a Varia suit arm cannon as a head?

Would it surprise you?

That's the arm, and I think it was concept for omega ridley from corruption, not a hypothetical dark ridley in echoes.

Shitty taste for you.

But hunters, an early ds game, looks better than this, a late 3ds game.

Don't look now, but he was talking about Federation Force

Honestly no

That head looks like it's part of the wing. I didn't even notice it since he's usually hunched over.

As much as I'm happy this piece of garbage is getting shit on, this fucking franchise has been shit on so much that it's fucking depressing.

Samus doesn't deserve this.

...

They are pretty good.

We're not falling for your lies satan.

So what exactly is there for the metroid series after this?

My impression of the game was that it wouldn't be bad like everyone says, but it wouldn't be good either. 6.5/10, a solid "meh". A spinoff that explores an aspect of the metroid universe that's not really touched on, and would have been perfectly acceptable if it has been released within a year of an actual metroid game. I thought the only thing the game did wrong was have bad timing.

And then I saw this. What the actual fuck nintendo.

even when you don't look at the fact that it's a shovelware that skinned a dead ip and is walking around masquerading as it, it's still shovelware

this user is right.

Being Samus is suffering.

...

...

I found a few social media accounts for people at the studio making this. It was likely intentionally put in like this as a fuck you response to the fans not being duped by this shit.

Because contempt for your audience is a good thing.

Only in the video game industry could you get away with this.

Why does jewtendo hate Metroid so much? why do they hate Samus so much?

nips never liked her, metroid games take years of actual effort to make, they still don't understand the reason other m was hated and just think the ip isn't safe like mario and zelda, it's too dark for a lot of them and not kid friendly in bright primary color blocks like mario, etc

"Ok guys, I have this idea for a shovelware chibi game that looks like a bad knockoff brand of legos. What universe should it be set in?"
"How about the one inspired by H R Giger that
I hear.
Them.
Everywhere. They're coming.
Can't sleep. Ever.
They'll eat me.
Eat.
is from?"
"Perfect, you're promoted"

sensible kek

Sounds right.

It's not that they even hate metroid, they just don't like it. It could be because it's nintendo's most western series, but whatever the reason, metroid has always done far better overseas.

Welp, 3DS is dead. Monster Hunter Generations is garbage, this is garbage, and they'll mistakenly localize MHStories, which is garbage by comparison of Dragon Quest VIII..if that gets a 3DS port in the states.

What's the bonafide list of things to get, because I'm having doubts on these releases from here on.

And they could have saved it if they made it like the originals. There's a lot of Nintendo platformers, we dont need one more

The movie industry is trying that as well. It's honestly annoying, how does someone have such hatred for their own cutsomers and fans?

Do you really think Nintendo even cares if the game flops? I mean, just look at it. The game looks like it was made by a minimally staffed B team. Nintendo working full tilt probably could have cranked this game out in just a few months. The game probably won't have to sell even 100k copies to turn a profit. This is just a blatant, lazy, low investment cash grab.

nintendo had to invest damage control money into it

i am psychologically preparing myself for this upcoming wave of apologists

"I've never played a metroid game before, but eff the nintendo haters! I bought 4 copies and gave 3 away just to spite them! We're the real metroid fans, not them!"

Man i am glad there has been no new games in the series since 2007, imagine how modern Nintendo would have ruined the series.

Do you really kill her, or is it just some stupid boss battle with her in it? She deserved better than this

They probably do, it's been in development since before the DSi IIRC.

You're dumb as shit. Please tell your handlers to stop feeding you and just let it all go.

...

I'll take that as a no then, but I am glad I was able to let you release your prepubescent rage on an image board

It's probably gonna be
Or some bullshit like that.

no, it's the actual samus that they defeated, kidnapped, brainwashed, and used some powerup on that temporarily made her 30 feet tall
she's defeated by playing blastball with her

It gets even worse, after the fight she fall to the ground and is buried by parts of a wall, you go on for a wall to fight a male rip-off of Mother Brain called "Master Brain", the shield on the enemy ship/doomsday weapon turn off and you have to survive a fight against space pirates until a cutscene where Samus saves your life from what look like 4 omega pirates with ONE super missile. Then you try to run off but all this time the federation fleet is destroying the ship so a hole to the vacuum of space opens up, the ship is destroyed while you drift far enough into space to lose contact with the fleet, Samus saves you again by bringing her ship to you and you grab it while she goes to the fleet. You are declared galactic heroes, Samus say she's impressed with what you did and look foward to seeing you again.
Oh and there's a cliffhanger with Sylux and a metroid egg.
I am so not kidding youtube.com/watch?v=R5INxySBmDo

I think even Ridley and Mother Brain would think this is going too far

How the fuck did the pirates pull that off? I want to play that game instead.

It's worse than we could have imagined

Nah.

I can only imagine Ridley looking at this and saying WHO'S TOO BIG FOR SMASH NOW?

The existence of this game disgusts me.

After seeing this GIF again, it finally dawned on me how fucking HUGE Samus pony tail hair is. (Which also brings up issues of how it fits into her suit and how she could even put her helmet on quickly).

No it wasn't.

Original prototype was on DSi, then that stopped when it didn't have the power to run it. Then development started up again after NLG completed Luigi's mansion 2 because they were free with no other projects.

The DSi was publicly announced in 2008, do you seriously want to imply that there was EIGHT YEARS OF DEV TIME FOR A HANDHELD TITLE. Nintendo would have cancelled that shit years ago.

3 years is more reasonable (and the same as LM2).

I didn't buy it because of the starting stages of amiibo locked bullshit and Wil Wheaton voicing Lincoln. I'm not touching anything he's had his grubby paws in.

I think people will go "eh its okay, not great but not terrible", but when nobody wants to play it anymore and they're forced to play Solo they're gonna completely hate it.

...

Too fucking true. What more could they do? Make more games where samus is useless/dead and continue to shit on the games, or is this one finally ending the ip forever?

You know, maybe this could actually be a decent game if it were on Wii U. The limitations of the 3DS kill this shit, and so does the chibi artstyle.

I cant believe we're at the point where Nintendo has turned into EA and we have to wonder which will be the IP Nintendo kills off for good.
We really are at the point where this is Ninty's thought process

Stop.

How does Nintendo explain metroid prime hunters or Resident evil 3ds games? those games look better in art style and graphically.

Hardware power of the 3ds is actually more than the psp & dreamcast but less than the gamecube.

So the power limitations of the 3ds is bullshit in this case of chibi

Have you ever noticed how many franchises were killed off by making a COOP game?

3DS limitations are a bullshit excuse user and you know it.

There are lots of PSP games that outdo this visually. There are some 3DS games like SMT4, Resident Evil, MGS3D, Monster Hunter, which blow this game away visually. This shit looks on par with Okamiden or Mario 64 DS.

Even fucking Hunters looked better

That's my fetish.
This doesn't even seem like it's true, though. She seems to have been given a case of flat-out retardation, given that all she can do is morphball around. It's like she's literally too dumb to do anything else. I won't lie, though, I've gotten bored enough in Metroid games to start killing things exclusively with morph ball bombs too.

It's like the dev team decided to make Samus the final boss because they thought it'd be cool, but then realized that there's no way that four federation troopers could ever handle her, even at her lowest power level, and then deliberately contrived a situation where maybe, possibly, it could happen. And yet, not once in that entire process did they consider what logically had to happen before it, which is the space pirates defeating her, which is almost as unlikely in itself.

Either way, what really pissed me off is that the space pirate computer handling her keeps refering to her as Samus Aran, instead of The Hunter.

no

And on top of that, it came out really early in the DS' lifespan.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

One user summed it up perfectly by saying it was probably their way of saying "fuck you" to the fans for not getting hyped for it.

I'm not even worried about this. So far I played the demo it seems smooth . Thats about it. Then agian its a Spin off

Thats the problem, it sort of reminds me about the Silent Hill dungeon crawler. Right now the devs just said "this is the next Metroid game", without any confirmation for what the fans really want.

And after Other M and 5 years of 0 announcements, the last thing fans wanted was another spinoff.

it's like they hate metroid fans for seeing through the bullshit and wanted to tell them to go fuck themselves

Wouldn't be hard to figure out, after prime 3 they figured it out. Ez pz caprese pizza

Isn't that half the issue though?
Nintendo is still pushing consoles when they're a solid ten years behind the rest of the industry in every way, hardware, design philosophy, marketing, community management, online handling and audience.

They're focused purely on Pokemon, Mario and Zelda.
They have no clue what consumers want, they don't know how to make their few remaining fans happy, and they have no idea how to get back their old fans.

Nintendo is fucking dead.

Thats more depressing when you put it that way. You'd think after 2014 or 2013 they'd know what to do.

I think it partially may have to do with the lack of communication (and language barrier) between fans of the west and Nintendo of Japan (east).

From the sounds of it, the way NoJ even gets fan feedback/reviews is through NoA (and probably NoE). So in the end you have NoA possibly acting as a filter to NoJ. Maybe giving them the answers "they want to hear" while filtering things out like "complaints about censorship/removed Japanese content"

Remember how NoJ only realized how badly the fans wanted Earthbound Wii U VC version or 60Hz NES/SNES VC games through spamming Miiverse?

Or things like Miyamoto not understanding how badly fans want a new F-Zero despite his thinking the fans didn't want a new one.

Or finally that time Kotaku asked Nintendo fans what they wanted (and were to present it to Miyamoto) and showed that Pokemon Snap came out near the top.

It feels pretty annoying in day and age to see the Nintendo Twitter accounts (for each region) say We can't respond but we're listening! while other companies social media will interact/joke with fans.

Anyone want to play this through at some point?
Don't buy the fucking thing of course, download it to play.

Bullshit. Nintendo as a developer puts out more good games than any other single developer.

who the hell are these devs

As said, the devs who made Punch out wii.
WHAT IN THE FUCK HAPPENED HERE? I KNEW THIS WAS GOING TO BE LACKLUSTER, BUT HOW DOES STUFF LIKE THIS GET OK'D? AND HOW DO DEVS THAT HAD SOME DECENT GAMES UNDER THEIR BELT FUCK UP SO BAD?!

probably staff changes over time

Its not built for single player at all, you have to do all those 4 man objectives solo.

I think Nintendo only greenlit it out of desperation, when you look at the 3DS' upcoming games there's barely anything coming out. As for the Punch Out devs fucking up, who knows how that happened unless they don't know how to make an FPS on a handheld, there's practically no shooters on 3DS at all so I guess they were only guesstimating how one should be done.

I disagree. They seem to publish good games occasionally, but some of the games they develop internally now are of mixed quality compared to back then. There's also the fact that because of , whatever possible feedback people desperately want Nintendo to listen to isn't going to them.

Select your gun, and then select your Samus.

Did Nintendo Power listen to fan feedback/letters when it was part of NoA?

Because if they did then Nintendo would have sadly paid more attention to the fans in a time before social media then in time after they made it 3rd party and they started using social media.

There's an in game "mod" item called Lone Wolf which reduces damage from enemies and increases you weapon damage that only works when playing by oneself.

There's also a drone mod that also provides a friendly drone to also shoot enemies.

You can also play without them to make the game harder.

As I was watching that fight I genuinely couldn't believe it was real. There it was right in front of me, yet I just thought to myself "this has to be fake. For this to be real a group of people had to agree on a giant, slow moving ball for a boss fight. That wouldn't happen in a Metroid game from Nintendo.

...

I think a pirate game could have been a good set up for a Samus vs Feddie game. Like, raiding black ops sites and accidentally revealing all the shit they are doing. Problem is that they already revealed that to her, and I doubt nintendo would ever add enough moral grey area where the designated good guys getting killed by the heroine would be considered justified.

lol

try not to fall asleep

help?

...

>Boss fight where it's 4 of the Golems vs you
>You kill ALL of them because FUCK the GF
>starfox-like rails flying game where you haul ass through space on wicked wings and blow away debris and any stragglers in your way

>NG+ bonus for beating a certain difficulty level
>Meta Ridley with a whole different moveset and is practically broken as fuck

It's not a good feel.