Holla Forums Plays FTL

I've only played this game for like 30 minutes, but lets do this anyway.
Dubs decide our actions, in combat scenarios dubs will decide our overall strategy for the encounter.
Not playing with the advanced content because I'm shit at the game.

First off dubs decides the Ship's name, the names and sex of all three crew members, and the difficulty.

your asking for too many dubs op
this will be a slow thread

If it isn't working out after 30 or so posts we'll just start deciding by who responds first.

Dickbird

if trips, override all other instructions and name everything variations of bateman with hard difficulty
names Jeff, George, and Oorgraltz, all male, easy mode

Dubs decides everything on this screen

rerolling
speaking of which, what's the policy on rerolls

Name the ship "Meme Machine".

Name the crew members

Ship name: Faggo Mobile
Difficulty: Easy (for your sake OP)
Crew: Bateman - Pilot, OP - Engine, Bane - Weapons
Advanced mode enabled
Put Laser in the first slot
Make Lasers automated mode

Rerolling

Reroll as much as you like

rerolling

Reroll, for fuck arround

What's the reroll rules?

Dickbird.

I said Dickbird.

Relying only on dubs will get us nowhere.

Nah, i won't believe i won't get dubs on dickbird. This isn't far.

DICKBIRD MOTHERFUCKER

I SAID DICKBIRDDDDDDD

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Alright then fuck it.
FIRST RESPONSE DECIDES EVERYTHING ON THIS SCREEN, AND WILL DECIDE COURSE OF ACTION FROM NOW ON

Dickbird it is.

Its not dickbird anymore. Its Dickbirddddddd

...

The crew mambers - Hitler Trump Nigel

Off by one, fuck.

Congratulations, you posted so hard to the point where the numbers god felt absolutely sorry for your existence and gave you trips out of pity

SHUT THE FUCK UP OR IT WILL BE MY DICK IN YOUR MOUTHHHHHHHHH

Hitler Trump Nigel

how about you shitlords name one of them drumpf so you can post stupid memes

First reply decides difficulty

The crew members:
POL VIDYA LEFTYPOL

Trump nigel pepe

CIA, Dr. Pavel, Bane

Trump nigel hitler

YES

...

normal

Hard

Oh look you fucked!
OP doesn1t care about dubs anymore :-)

I am retarded.

1 or 2?

3

1

1

First reply outlines the entire strategy for the fight, will post again if something eventful happens.

Don't do anything, let them destroy you.

Use artemis it's not masculine

Now wasting all missiles on first fight, thanks Holla Forums

Keep weapons and engines damaged. Do not use Artemis unless you start missing a lot.

All our fire from Artemis has missed and they've taken out our oxygen system, first reply decides next course of action.

kill spurdo

It shall be done.

Spurdo is suffocating in the air lock and our lasers are aimed at their cloaking device.

Vent all oxygen in non-functional rooms and fire the artemis some more

use your mic and tell it to surrender

The artemis continues to miss and Spurdo is near death

Continue to remove air and pose as another auto-scout.

Spurdo is dead, the Artemis finally hit and the oxygen is working again.

WOAH WOAH WE DON'T NEED AIR WHERE WE'RE GOING

The airlocks are open once again, only dubs can save Pepe and Wojack!

Close airlock

Fire on the engines and control, let these two derelicts float forever as a sign of eternal friendship

The airlock is closed, but will Wojack make it?
Also the enemy is dead.

NO OUR AUTOSCOUT BUDDY

He didn't breathe so good!

Just as planned

We must push on!

May kek have mercy on pepe!

Get Pepe a wife named Heqet

What do we do before our next jump?

peepee poopoo

repair shit

There can be no peepee poopoo without Wojack

well wheres his corpse then

Alright, everything is repaired, should we repair pepe too or just jump?

don't ask nobrainer questions, geeze

Okay. There will be no medical treatment for pepe, broken and bruised he returns to the pilot seat. Where does he go?

my fucking sides

Go top

I think Pepe fucked up.
First reply decides his strategy.

go for shields

Head to the galactic anus

shoot em

Teleport pepe into their ship and join their crew

All missiles have missed, only one is left.

use lasers

Our engines and oxygen are down, the engine room is on fire. Their shields are blocking our missiles and the laser won't do shit.

Put out fire.

put out fire repair shields first then the rest of the shit then heal pepe

Shields are up, but it doesn't look like we can possibly make it.

keep firing lasers at their weapons

Just open the air lock and let pepe drink that cyanide and restart.

Doors are down, so he'll burn to death instead.

sheeit looks like pepe is rip i didnt know he had 0 oxygen

Open all the airlocks and doors

He surfifed

repair o2 and open all airlocks except o2s while you do it

Kek has granted Pepe victory in battle.
What now?

Doing this.

keep shooting their weapons!!!

Repair oxygen first.

Pepe died on the way to repair the Oxygen system.
The meme team didn't fly so good.

Rip pepe

Rip pepe he died young.

RIP in pepperoni

Will we see pepe ever again?

this is so comfy.

holy shit thats great

nigger this isn't cuckchan, this board doesn't move fast enough for that shit. good on you for trying to get us involved but that's not the way to do it

cats are for faggots