Games you wish you were smart enough to play

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Accept you'll lose the first time and do it you faggot. Worst case you wasted a few hours actually playing vidya instead of posting shit on Holla Forums.

Aurora 4x.

CK2 is one of the easiest Grand Strats out there
I guess the genre isnt for everyone

You think you have it bad?

I was a turbonerd back in high school and stumbled upon DF while looking for roguelikes after getting hooked on a PalmOS port of Moria (yes, I owned a palm pilot in the age when the iTouch was the hottest newest thing). To give you an idea of the time period, this was just after the shift from 2d to 3d - the game was previously on a 2d plane, no z-levels. It was just before they switched to OpenGL graphics. No tilesets, no memory hacks, no Dwarf Therapist, nothing of the sort. I played that game so goddamn much that one time when I got food poisoning, I dreamed that I settled near a bottomless pit and batmen spawned and killed Fezzi, my (IRL) cat. I played it autistically for the next 4 years, hanging onto every update. My grades suffered badly for it.

These days, I just can't do it. Not even with a wiki. I'm a purist still and only play with ASCII (ideally on a pure square grid), but there's been so much feature bloat that I don't even know where to start. I can't plan out fortress layouts anymore, I can't figure out new mechanics, I'm lost when it comes to setting up a proper military, hauling routes and minecarts baffle me.

I was so good, so goddamned good, I used to do megabuilds with 200-dorf citadels chugging along at 15 fps on a pentium 4, now I can't even play the game because I just get lost.

Fucking end me, man. I've normalized too much. Lost my virginity (lol to a hooker), made friends, got a job, got money, but what did I lose? That fucking game used to define my life.

Rimworld is fucking excellent in my opinion. Perfect mix between casual and difficult, although RNG tends to fuck you over with events.

CK2 is shit, but it's also brutally simplistic. If he can't even get CK2 down, there's no hope.

Nigga I've seen attack ships off the shoulder of Orion. CK2 isn't even a puddle of depth.

That's why I said intermediate :^)

Is the first pic Heart of Iron?

used to play on weekends away from boarding school.
Then I started after college again.
Lost everything.
The fact that my play time has been fragmented over the years has not helped me fully grasp it.
Haven't played it in years

ck2 is babby shit, OP.
Pic related, although it's more a time investment thing than an intelligence thing.

I refuse to believe that anyone actually actively understands and plays Aurora.

I had a nice go at it and managed to colonize a star system or two before it started crashing more often than Soviet-era airliners.

It's basically spreadsheets: the game. People say it facetiously about wargames or even GS games, but Aurora is basically a gamified SQL database.

grand strategy games aren't smart. They are boring. They are games people who fail to learn mechanical skill but can understand simple numerical concepts play.

In all honesty those people should focus that kind of autism to making big bux as hedge fund managers than playing a video game about numbers.

yeah, if you can be entertained by monotonous clicking, perhaps you should look into turning that entertainment into profit.

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have you played civ 5?

It isn't?

Wasted trips

youtube.com/watch?v=ouDiKXYeqeY&index=1&list=PL0sBhCMFBvPlF7wG7OH-NFQKMeCQiS8aM

The version in captnduck's video is 40.24 so you can follow along with this version of the game dffd.bay12games.com/file.php?id=11309
The package includes the texture packs used in the video. Known as the "lazy newb pack". You can go hardcore and use no textures and try to learn the latest version but I'm just giving you an easy road for now.

I ripped all 40 videos in that list (en.savefrom.net/) and used handbrake to shrink the file size a bit and put those videos in a folder with 40.24 and put that on my laptop.

Grab a few beers and waste some time setting up a when-i-finally-get-around-to-learning-DF folder whether you play it or not.

If you're not smart enough to play CK2, you're not smart enough to remember to breathe.

noice

I literally only play the game to play as as immortal god king who continually fucks his daughters and the daughters he has with them for all of perpetuity. cucking Charlemenge and making all of christendom your bitch is also fun

that's why I try to get into it user, any tips for a newbie?

Rainbow Six Siege.

I was always interested in it, so I tried it the free weekend.

I lost all but 1 match over the entire 4 day period. Granted, my teamates were all fucking retarded, but I didn't feel like I was that much better.

I wouldn't suggest mods your first time playing it since it removes all challenge. But if you need to dip your toes try playing as the Byzantines, the Muslims, or a large unified kingdom. The earliest state date is piss easy, you can blob like crazy and devour all of the map by 1000AD easy.

If you just want to bang your children, then there are mods specifically for that.

I keep trying to learn how to play some characters in Overwatch, but my team members are always screaming at me and telling me I suck, how did I get so bad at video games, fuck.

cool, thanks user. nice double dubs too.

CK2 isn't a particularly difficult game by GSG standards. Not EU:IV-tier simple but close.

GSGs are best learnt by playing and looking shit up as you go. Start in 1066 as an Irish Count. Ireland is known as tutorial island for a reason, after all. Once you tire of that game try starting as a vassal count in a larger kingdom (start either 1066 or earlier if you want to mess with tech).

Are you retarded user?

I dunno, fam. That's a LOT of shitposting you could be missing out on.

Just play it and you will learn, are you so afraid of failing on your first playthrough and getting a game over? Just embrace the ride.

They're not boring though, they're very fun.

play with friend, just take a small comte in france and kill all the ducs that become your suzerain, when all of the french noble is dead go kill the king , and forget to make a custom black character that way the french royality is all black now :^)

I feel like not enough attention has been brought to this niggers stupidity.

Are you?

Are you fucking kidding me? I guess it makes sense that some sadfrog posting piece of shit can't even grasp the most casual shooter in recent history

I wish I could actually be good at fighting games

Still can't get past bronze after playing over 60 hours of SFV

That's determined more by dedication than intelligence.
Believe in yourself

dominions, ai war fleet command with more difficult settings

are seals dogs?

They're surprisingly closely related

reported for Holla Forums

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start with total war rome, it has a very accessable gran stragety element and also an RTS is focused. once you're beating campains alot then youll be knowledgeable enough to roleplay as a muslim country in CK2 since you can conduct holy war on almost every countryu

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Not if you want a family user.

(returnofkings.com/92533/the-future-mother-of-your-child-should-be-a-virgin-who-believes-in-god)

Read it and weep. If you have the mental fortitude.

But user it's total war for autistic people.

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I uh… I'm stuck in bronze in league of legends

Nearly all the new features are broken shit that can be completely ignored without consequence, as has long been the standard for DF. Take food for instance. You can now get it from two different types of plant gathering, milking and beekeeping on top of the old butchery, planting, fishing and trading. But there's absolutely no need to bother with that because a 6x6 plump helmet farm plot will both feed and water 100 dwarves (100 may as well be the limit now with how much the world simulation has made the FPS has go to shit)

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That is Gary Grigsby’s War in the East: The German-Soviet War 1941-1945, if I am not mistaken.

It's not that you need to be smart to play CK2, it's just extremely tedious.

I'm decent at the games, but I envy people who can think outside the box and break the game. Like finding exploits in Morrowind, where you're given set of tools, and making yourself god.
I also find games like SpaceChem a lot harder than something like God Hand of MonHun , because in those two I can master mechanics and enemies with 75-80% concentration, while in Space chem I need 90+% concentration + writing down schemes and other stuff. Concentration doesn't work that way, but I'm trying to make a point.

Are there any decent fantasy mods for CK2? I find realistic history stuff boring, I want to spy on my opponents with mind control spells and have a succubus concubine and other epic wizard shit.

it frustrates me immensely that i'm absolute trash at one of the easiest games ever made.

i want to kill myself.

Hi there, newfriend. I would advise you to lurk a bit more (read threads without posting), before you post again.

Not because we don't value your input, but I'm afraid you stick out a bit with your posting style. The kind anons in this thread didn't decide to cause a fuss, but some fellows can be a bit more rowdy when it comes to maintaining the culture.

Some hints to get you started:

Try to have good punctuation. It doesn't have to be perfect (you're not being marked), but it helps convey that you care about your contributions to the board.

Refrain from using emoticons, unless it is ironic. This is an imageboard, so use of reaction images is encouraged. If you have none, save what you like when you see them posted and you will have your own collection in no time.

Greentext should be used to quote, write personal stories, and occasionally for
and
type posts. In general, this means greentext comes before regular text.

I hope you enjoy your time on Holla Forums.

Elder Kings?

pasta?

That's pretty damn bad. There are plenty of heroes that cater to low FPS skill that can be played at high skill tiers. You must be stupid

That's because it's a first person MOBA, go practice in League of Legends then off yourself. This thread isn't "games you're bad at" but I guess reading is a game you're not autistic enough for so you're somewhat on topic.

i'm too stupid to play well; what more is there to it?

it's not about skill (which isn't to say that i have any fps skill at all; i'm shit at that too), i'm just too stupid. it's decisions and shit, and even for the simplest shooter on the planet i'm too fucking stupid to get anything right

Dwarf Fortress isn't even that complex friend. No, actually, I would rather call it HUGE, than complicated. Just start with Adventure Mode.

What if you're too stupid to play LoL too?

play the first ck
it's way better than the sequel

Look on the bright side: Overwatch is the perfect game to ram your head into until you finally learn how to git gud. It's not like anyone who matters gives a shit about the average match anyway, so feel free to fuck around until you stop sucking so much.

You must be fuckin autistic

Don't do that. He is retarded, going King and empire if you know shit of CK is suicide

Grab a independent duke or a double duke under a liege, stay friend as possible with him and learn the tropes of the game from under. Managing vassals and family is the most difficult part of the game. And if you get into empire you have to manage powerful vassals and whining family that wants land and be indipendent

No, I sat there and typed it up. Though I hope you can find occasion to use it.

I can play EU2/3/4 fine, but suck as CK2.

What am I doing wrong?

Pick up a better dotalike game and learn from it, or take up coloring books instead of videogames.

You can always come to the Dom4 thread, maybe a new game will start if some people gather round,i think the current ones are slowly wrapping up.

is there a way to shrink aurora to fit on my fucking screen?

I think there is a "low resolution" tickbox somewhere that makes it smaller in height, but otherwise I don't think so.

You even have to make algorithms for trade and resupply of all your industry and ships

any RTS. I have some mental problems that don't let me play these.

Are GS games fun if you aren't into alt-history roleplay?

RTS just means gookclick. If you want a challenge play RTT.

found it. aurora always used to crash for so many different things for me, now its basically playable and that was my only issue

Of course. One of my best experiences with a GSG was playing Darkest Hour on the 1945 scenario and trying to stall the Russians long enough to drive the Allies back to the Atlantic. There's little to no room for error, and usually the best you can manage is stalling long enough to last another year before getting completely fucked by the US and USSR.

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no thanks, i have my pure waifu

I know that feeling way too well, I can easily scuttle through missions, beat some shit down, do some basic trading. But as soon as it comes to setting up my godamned large as fuck trade empire the thing starts to feel like some sort of unholy nightmare. I played about 40hours, and just said fuck it, …. couldn't see myself investing any futher into the whole thing.

The idea of spreadsheet simulator is so much more appealing than the real thing. I just can't do it dude.

wut

holy shit
I never believed them when they said people had difficulty playing CK2
But I've found you

It's ok; we're all special in our own little way

Should we start searching for a dragon as well?

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I think people are missing out on one of the most entertaining parts of CKII: Genetic fuckery.

I made a character with a shitload of buffs, genius, midas touch etc and I was as conservative as possible with the debuffs, can't remember the names of them now. I think lunatic was one.

So this guy is pretty boss, a bit of a nutter but he got shit done and he was knocking bitches up left, right and centre. Then, the demon child comes in. This crazy bitch starts using demonic powers and shit to kill off her siblings, then in mourning the father dies. So the rest of the game consisted of this mental tumblrina bitch fucking up everything and killing people and the genetic lineage was just a bunch of lunatics fucking everything up for everybody.

but lunacy isn't hereditary, right?

The father was a lunatic, but the daughter was possessed. Not sure if it was caused by lunatic, just assumed debuffs increased chances for other debuffs.