Last time on Knight Quest: You made it into the Dragon's Home and then accidentally destroyed a mouse's. K'tyr led you into the dragon's bedroom, where you hid under the bed and snooped around for a bit, before being discovered by the dragon. You dumped the dragon spunk on yourself in an attempt to seduce it, which actually turned out to be dragon blood. The dragon explained a little about dragon physiology which basically ammounted to "It is literally impossible to fuck the dragon." In desperation, you use the boxatrix Graveyar gave you, which tore open a hole in reality, sucking everyone nearby inside.
You find yourself in a strange realm, unlike any other you have been in. It is hot. It is muggy. You feel a strange guilt, unnatatched from any action, weighing on your shoulders. This is indeed a scary place.
Available Commands: MAP - Check Map INVENTORY - Check Inventory
Apologies for my absence last week. My computer had this weird problem where it wouldn't boot. Turns out the ram wasn't seated properly after I cleaned it. Also sorry about the late start. I went to a birthday dinner and got back late.
Parker Roberts
dig
Liam Perry
Talk to woman.
Andrew Barnes
You kick at the ground to try and upturn it, to determine what sort of area you're in. As it turns out, it's rock. Very hard rock at that. Your foot hurts.
You go to the unconcious woman, who is in fact Valarie, the young-looking lich who you've known for some time now. You're honestly not sure why you had that brief moment of doubt, but it was there. Why did you forget who your friend was for an inexplicably short amount of time? Perhaps you mistook her for someone else. Or perhaps you cannot know anyone, truly, as we all have our own barriers, that separate our true selves from the ones we present to others. Maybe this tiny window of uncertainty was your wall crumbling slightly, as you realise that you know little of her other than what she has told you, but you'd like to know more. Either that or you're a fucking idiot.
Valarie interrupts your philosophising by waking up with a start. "Gaaahhhhh! What the fuck? Where the fuck am I? The fuck happened? Fuck!"
Oliver Butler
observe the sky
Gabriel Davis
do first aid to foot and then girl
Eli Davis
Scream violently at the girl.
Nolan Ortiz
Head pat then ask for her advice on what to do next
Cooper Sanchez
You brush off your foot and give it a little kiss, just like mama used to. Then, you decude to put a plaster on that gaping hole in Valarie's face. You don't know how long it's been there, but you don't want her getting dirt in it.
You pat Valarie on the head and ask her what you should do. "Well, that hole you tore isn't exactly a good thing. Damn near anything could leak through from wherever. Valarie says solemnly "Though, I'm more impressed that you've actually managed to kill a dragon! I mean, literally everyone who has ever tried has failed. Even if it was sheer dumb luck, you actually did it. Without its soul, a body withers away into nothingness eventually. That's the way it works."
Upon hearing this you violently unload the contents of your lungs directly into Valarie's face. "You ok there, buddy? You seem a little more loathesome than usual."
Austin Morales
Smack her on the head harder and tell her to give advice when asked for. Then walk left.
Ayden Hernandez
tell girl to metabolize harder until hole heals
Lucas Perry
oYu go to smack some sense into Valarie, but she turns you around to face the other way and pushes you forward into another room. "Look, it's a new place ight? Do what you always do, you dick, and explore." she grumbles.
Jackson Perry
Look at map.
Brody Wood
esplore really hard until you find treasure
Aaron Watson
Look at inventory too
Owen Kelly
You're in a completely new area. You don't have much of a map at all.
Lewd Dragon Book History Book Nercro(phillia)mancy book "Calcium and You - A guide to Healthy Bones" Book "O" Book Ghost Knife Boxatrix Speaking Stone Rooted Boots Broken Sword Broken Sword Pieces Some rope
Liam Bennett
Okay, go left to work, and ask the first 'thing' we see that doesn't look like an angry demon where we are.
Nicholas Morris
Craft yourself a knife using the Broken Sword Pieces, Some Rope, a Speaking Stone and the Knife.
Tyler Jenkins
Well, thid doesn't seem to be an angry demon. Yu ask the tall, terrifying drink of water exactly where you are.
"Hell. But if you need to know that, you probably don't work here. And, if you don't work here, you must have a reason to be out of the fire pits and/or acid mines. So, tell me, why are you out of the fire pits and/or the acid mines?"
William Garcia
touch his armour
Kayden Sanders
Wait, didn't you combine some of those into some weird art project already?
Alexander Thomas
Hold up the lewd dragon book. Tell him you found it somewhere and was wondering who to give it to.
Owen Robinson
Gonna have to pause here tonight because I am practically falling asleep. Will resume on Saturday at 10pm GMT
Evan Baker
Sleep tight pupper
Owen Smith
You did! However, it appears it was so beautifully fragile or shoddily constructed that it fell apart in your inventory
You consider this plan, but the thought of losing something so dear to your heart causes you to decide against it.
You touch the probably not angry demon's armour, just to see what it's like. It's pretty damn hot. Ouch!
"Why do I always get the freaks?"
Brayden White
Ask the Demon if he truly enjoys his life.
Nicholas Lee
"I'd enjoy it more if you'd get off of my leg"
It seems you're making the demon uncomfortable. Being a guest in hell, you decide to keep the closest thing to a host you've seen happy, both out of politeness and in want of not being murderised.
"So, the fuck are you doing here, then?" the Demon asks.
Cameron Cooper
Fucking capcha, took 15 goddamn mins to work
Hunter Taylor
First apologize about touching his leg Tell him you're here on vacation and you just wanted to ask him for directions, specifically where anything of interest might be.
Sebastian Jones
You apologise for invading the guard's personal space and ask if there's anywhere fun anound here.
"Vacation? What the he- Ah, whatever. It's above my pay grade." the Demon groans "Check out the bar. Good place to get smashed. If you tell the barkeep you're here on vacation he'll probably suffer your lack of understanding of how things work around here a bit better. Usually, he's a total grump."
Joshua Lewis
Asks the demon is you can burrow some spare change
Luis Sanders
*if
William Green
Burrow it where?
Brody Taylor
"Yeah, sure. You can absolutely 'burrow' some change." the Demon says with a sneer "The bartender keeps a shovel behind the bar."
You hang your head in shame at your slip in grammar. Maybe you deserve to be in hell.
"Piss off, I got a doorway to stand in front of."
Carter Barnes
Goddamn it you moron grammar is important
Nathaniel Hall
sorry I don't english very well :-(
Julian Brooks
Naw, we're only joking. It's ok, really. It's just that the Knight was established for having a love for spelling and grammar early in the quest. I'd hate to make someone who likes my quest feel bad or anything.
Adam Myers
I guess we'll go to the bar. Fuck it, we never could bang the dragon, our entire purpose for the quest. And now we are stuck in hell, time to drown our sorrows
Charles Gomez
Maybe it's better the knight didn't go full zoophile.
Asher Brooks
Steeped in shame and sorrow, you decide to get absolutely wrecked. You go to find Valarie, but even she has abandoned you. Not surprising, considering how much of a failiure you are.
Aiden Adams
go to the staff only direction
Levi Rodriguez
You begin to head toward tohe bar when you hear a "Hey, asshole!" eminate from the potted plant. It's not the first time you've been called an asshole, but it's certainly the first time foliage has insulted you.
Henry Morgan
"Water" the plant ifyouknowwhatImean
Jack Cook
You bend down to the plant and blast it with tears. Along with the grammar slip up, lack of dragon sex and just being in hell, that last comment pushed you over the edge.
"Ugh, dude. Stop that you dick. I'm in real fucking trouble here." Valarie growlas at you "Fucking shit, this is salty. What have you eaten?"
Hunter Baker
If nobody's gonna post, I suppose I'll pause here. KnightQuest will return Friday at 10pm
Brody Baker
You could just bump the thread instead of delaying it like crazy.
Levi Martin
Well, that's the way it's always worked. Friday/Saturday every week. But I guess I could, just this once, do tonight too
Bentley Clark
Pluck a leaf off her to teach her a lesson.
Joshua Cruz
You pluck out a leaf and taunt Valarie with it by waving it in her face.
"Stop that, you moron! Have you any idea how dangerous it is for me to be here?" she scolds you in a ahused voice "I'm a Lich! An undead! Do you know what that means? I've lived longer than I'm supposed to! That's one of the worst things you can do! Normally I'd be fine, but since we're in hell that suddely becomes a problem. Mainly because if anyone figures out who I am they'll tear my soul out of my body and do n-a-s-t-y things to it. We have to get out of here. Now!"
Jeremiah Peterson
bump
Benjamin Russell
Tell her to wait while we go collect "information" in the bar on how to leave.
Josiah Lewis
"The bar? That place will probably be full of drunken idiots." Valarie ponders "I should be able to get away with just covering up my cool eye hole. Besides, not like you know how to grill a hostage. I'm coming with you."
Valarie brushes her hair down, then she and you head towards the bar.
"Let's see… We got a Succuslut, a minor imp, some bug looking thing, Gerroth - God of all sin and evil, the bartender…
We should leave before that big guy wakes up, yeah?"
Joseph Hernandez
Nobody knows more about sin and evil than us, we'll talk to the god.
Brayden Richardson
"No. No we will not talk to the entity that governs all punishment in existance, especially considering that my very existance is an abomination against nature and will likely cause me to be tortured eternally until my soul loses all concept of self and conciousness, then reverts back to its raw components. That would be a very bad idea and I am not fond of it." Valarie quivers "Look, I'll admit something here. I'm frightened. For the first time in millenia, I'm frightened. I didn't even know I could still get frightened. So, that's new. Or, rather, old but forgotten. I wanna get out of here as soon as possible, yeah? Just pick someone safer than the hulking god of 'I'll beat the shit out of you'."
Noah Stewart
How about talking to the Imp? Ignore the Succubus, traditionally you end up getting very ill if you fuck one.
David Brooks
The imp seems otherwise engaged with trying to get it on with the Succubus.
"Eh, leave him to it. The Fluid Druid over there would robably try to murderfuck you anyway. Besides, it'd mean going past Chunky over there." Valarie hums "What about Buggy over there? He seems plot-appropriate"
Ryan Walker
Try to haggle information from the bug in exchange for Valarie.
Lucas Lee
You drag the bug to a more discrete location to discuss the matter of child slavery.
"So you want out, eh? Well, you don't look like no demon, but I'll letya know anyways. Fer a price, of course." the bug chitters.
You gesture to Valarie to indicate that you are in fact offering her.
"Oooohh. Yeah, I'd definitely like to lay some eggs in her brain, if you know what I'm saying." it says, nudging you "You gotta get past the hellknight if you wanna get outta here. Then you just gotta walk. Hope you like stairs."
Valarie seems pretty uncomfortable right now.
Grayson Green
Walk to the Hell Knight, and tak Valarie with you. Bug should've drafted a contract first before doing his end of the deal.
Chase Myers
take
Brandon Fisher
"Eggs… in my brain?? I don't… I mean, I try to keep an open mind and try new things, but I really just don't understand that…" Valarie mutters to herself.
With your newfound information, you pick up Valarie like a suitcase and conclude your business.
"Ey, what the fuck!? We ain't done here! Make with the brain-nest!" the Bug yells.
You inform the bug that he should have written up a contract if he didn't want to get duped.
"Damn, yer right. We demons is allabout them damn contracts." the bug grumbles, hanging its head.
Michael Perez
At least try to steal some goodies from hell before leaving. or visit a smith
Logan Wood
Now, to convince this thing to let you go….
Pausing for now, for real this time. KnightQuest will return Friday at 10pm GMT!
