Luke, did I ever tell you about hyperdrives? There's one on your ship right now...

Luke, did I ever tell you about hyperdrives? There's one on your ship right now. Just evacuate the ship and have a droid perform the jump right into the death star. No rebels would die and the Empire would be defeated instantly.

Other urls found in this thread:

starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Destruction_of_Pammant
jewishjournal.com/hollywood/jews-and-hollywood/228947/judaism-jedi-ism/
archive.is/ZKobf
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Luke, did I ever tell you about interesting stories and not autistic realism fags?

Wow the OT sucks!

If he's giving out lessons on good storytelling you should shut up and listen.

So, what's stopping the target shit from just moving a little bit in the other direction? It's pretty well shown and explained that a ship about to go into hyperdrive has to sit still a bit while the drive engages. That should be enough time to dodge or just shoot it.

Let me know when you get to that part.

and he was a good friend

It came and went while you were sucking OP's cock you massive faggot.

The entire Sith Order fleet can only look at one thing at a time, since they were paying attention to the lil' escape transports they couldn't notice the main ship turning around until it was in position for cat lady's light speed kamikaze attack.

Hi Rian

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Luke, remember what I told you about the force being an energy field created by all living things and it binds the galaxy together?
Well I lied it's just a tree with some books in it. Yoda's ghost will eventually burn it because it's Her turn. He was a good friend.

You're assuming that the Rebels are going to be performing the jump into hyper-drive right in front of the Empire, instead of a hundred light years away where the Imperials couldn't do shit. Plus, the Death Star is fucking huge and would take a while to move sufficiently out of the way. Pretty hard to miss that target.

How come Sith strangle their employees from across the universe but not their enemies

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The only reason they met was him.

There you will meet Yoda, the Jedi master who instructed me.

Who was E1?

because the first is evil, the second is practical.

Why didn't Kylo just reach out and crush the rebel cruiser, it's just a coke can next to the power of the force

This is one of those things you have to take for granted as not being an option for most sci-fi stories to work. It currently is impossible according to known physics to go faster than light, but easy travel between stars makes for so many fun possibilities that a huge number of sci-fi universes make the concession of some sort of hypothetical faster than light travel.

The problem comes in that even a tiny amount of mass traveling at the speed of light could destroy an entire planet, ignoring entirely faster than light travel. So at that point, you have two options: 1) make ftl super dangerous thing that makes nukes look like fire crackers, or 2) make up some bullshit about why it doesn't work when you try to weaponize it. In many cases they skip over option 2 and it's just implicit that it won't work.

If you're already going to make the concession that FTL is possible, option 1 is more realistic and honest, however you're already introducing one potentially unrealistic contrivance into your story for convenience, so making up an artificial limit isn't really that big of a problem. It's certainly different and interesting to take the first route, but it's understandable and justified why so many stories don't.

The problem here is that it was, until now, implicit that this wouldn't work. Why build a Death Star when you can get the same effect by hyper driving a fighter into a planet? A fighter would have plenty of mass to do that at even lightspeed, to say nothing of going faster. Speaking of the death star, one fighter could take that out too. I'd say give it two fighters for the second death star because of the shield, but didn't they retcon in the last jewjew starwars that you can just hyperdrive past a shield? So again, one fighter for the starkiller base too.

It's retardation masked as being clever. It's a 16 year old smoking pot and being high on their own cleverness. If they really understood these things, they would understand these are contrivances and concessions and that they must be left in place to retain a functioning fictional setting. But all they care about is a quick cash in and pandering to pickle rick retards.

Is hyperdrive in Star Wars even explained? In Trek the FTL just warps space and carries you along with it. Meaning that you don't locally move faster than light speed and so there is no relativistic effects not to mention that they have a device that can turn down inertia.

Good post. FTL is space magic, so it should be treated as such; if the setting's society is based on certain type of magic then the magic must remain consistent or otherwise the society as such should have ended well before the story itself.


That's wrong. Relativity is actual physics. Everything is already relativisticly fucked up in mere considerable fraction of light speed. Not to mention bending space FTL would still have most of the retarded aspects of going faster than light like raping causality.

I guess you need eye contact or something to do it properly. Not that there's any rules or consistency left with Disney writers.

… but Vader did in ESB across a view screen, from his pokemon chamber, presumably somewhere on the Super Star Destroyer to the bridge, but it's a pretty huge ass ship

In an Alcubierre warp field, normal space-time exists inside the bubble region which means the ship would experience no relativistic effects locally. The real problem is the bubble edges will accumulate particles and result in a devastating shower of radiation at its destination when the warp field is stopped (if you can stop it).

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Alcubierre's nonsense antedates Star Trek and even then is barely above technobabble. Depending on the writer, the vehicles in Star Trek go near light speed or even lightspeed even without the magical warp engine.

I mean postdates.

It's retarded because it is the first instance of this happening in all of Star Wars history. It's stupid because, like you said, it breaks the universe. Why bother with massive capital ships or planetsized superweapons when you can just slap an FTL engine on a fighter and launch it at a planet?

There was another movie in 1978 with the word "Star" in the title. It was called Starcrash. The movie was decent in its right, but it was a victim of unfortunate timing. Despite being made at the same time as and independently of Star Wars, it features many similarities to the more successful movie, including the characters of the space rogue and the space mystic, the funny robot, the quest to destroy the villain's superweapon, and even a lightsaber. The most striking difference is that the Emporer is a good guy rather than the bad guy.

At the end of the movie, after the superweapon has been destroyed and the space mystic has been killed, all that's left is for the armies of the good Emporer and the evil Count Zartharn to do battle. Things aren't looking good for the big E, and he starts to become desperate. Finally, he resolves to use a strategy called "Starcrash", which is a sort of Sampson Option. The plan is to evacuate the Imperial City, which is a sort of massive space ship and is basically the only thing big enough for the job, and essentially ram it into Count Zartharn's command ship at light speed, killing him and quelling the evil rebellion once and for all.

TL;DR TLJ rips off of an obscure low-budget 70s movie that most people assume is a rip-off of Star Wars and actually makes it more worse.

Starcrash has a down-home country robot and a weird quiet guy who just silently invents new super powers in every scene.

And here I was thinking they guy just aped it from some weebshit RPG series. I guess that's a step up?

Luke did I ever tell you about the Jedi Council? They were a dominant force in the galaxy about 20 years ago even though the Jedi have now fallen into legend. They were good friends.

Also, 30 years from now people won't even know what a Jedi is despite the Republic being led by someone who is directly related to one of the strongest ones in the history of the galaxy.

Star Crash is underrated. It's genuinely quite enjoyable for a lower budget film.

IIRC in the original EU (RIP in peace) Star Wars hyperspace worked by shifting the ships out of real space and in to a semi-alternate-but-not-physically-connected dimension, so you could see but not touch, basically, so hyperspace collisions weren't possible. And TBH this is the only way to make FTL travel make any kind of sense without giving everyone in the universe access to planet-killing superweapons.

And this is without mentioning the "tracking someone through hyperspace is impossible" bullshit despite Finn and Poe talking on a fucking walkie-talkie while Finn is still in hyperspace. So talking is fine and apparently normal in hyperspace, but knowing the location of the communicator is somehow impossible.
It's like fucking Star Trek Into Darkness all over again. They're introducing shit in to the series without any concept of how it's going to affect shit moving forward. Khan not only has superblood that cures death but he can also use a handheld teleporter to move from Earth to the Klingon homeworld instantly with no starship, rendering starships, in fucknig Star Trek, all but obsolete.
And I repeat, they cured fucking death.
JJ is cancer and Disney is metastasizing.

lol, this will never move forward, worst case scenario they'll keep rehashing the first six movies ad nauseum, with Marvel-style "stand-alones" about characters like Han and Obi-Wan in between, best case scenario episode IX flops and Star Wars stays buried for another thirty years.

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This is just sad. I hope you're getting paid for this.

There are levels of consistency that need to be reached by every piece of fiction and star wars has jumped the shark in terms of plausibility.

The originals were about the spirit overcoming technology, the prequels were about political bullshit and a snaking plot that, while convoluted and badly told, still made sense.

The nu-wars are basically nothing, they are air. They make no sense and anything can happen at any time. They are shitty irrelevant action scenes tied together by plot holes. They are hackneyed bullshit churned out by people who don't give a shit, can't even begin to understand to give a shit and just want their money.

I've seen this exact post before. Likely a shill.

Agreed. One idiotic thing i noticed during the movie was the whole premise of chasing the rebel ship. Is it just coincidence that both the rebel ship and all the sith fleet have the exact same top speed? Also, why keep the tie fighters away, the whole radar-distance reasoning was so half assed.

Other stupid things:

i'd gladly pay for the privilege of defending a brilliant film from internet nazis.

This is your mind on jewish physics

this is your brain on /pol

This is how you know you spend too much time on Holla Forums.

So you guys got me to do some reading. To answer the question, absolutely nothing is stopping anyone from strapping Hyperdrives to fighters. 1st pic related happened on fucking ACCIDENT.
starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Destruction_of_Pammant
Of course this isn't canon at this point, but still worth a look-see.
Second pic is general hyperspace hazards from the Hyperspace article's hazard section.

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Star Wars is still much better than LoTR bullshit and all its stupid inconstancy. LOL like Eagles hello! ==GTFO BIGOT==

Don't forget the galaxy gun if we're doing EU stuff

I've had a thought. Remember in Force Awakens how Han hyperspace jumped through the Starkiller base shield? Imagine if Han knew that if he didn't disengage in time, he'd just destroy Starkiller base with the impact anyway. He knew and accepted the possibility of killing Chewie, Finn, Rey and Kylo in a suicidal manoeuvre. Hell, that'd be a better ending to this shit - Han fucking kills everyone in TFA.

I think it's enjoyable in the sense that it's hilariously bad.

OTfags BTFO

Why don't they just make Inter Galactic Warp Missiles if they can put warp drives on something as small as an X Wing? Shit, Han says in A New Hope that if you're not careful you could plot a course on the warp drive that crashes you into a star. Why didn't the empire just put warp drives on TIE fighters and crash those into planets? If a sub-light comet crashing into a planet can fuck up a planet so bad, why do they bother with the overkill of a laser that will disintegrate the whole thing when they could just apply F=MA and warp drives to create extremely destructive kinetic weapons? Ships get blown up all the time, but a Death Star requires ridiculous resources to build and maintain.

I don't think this kind of basic physics needs to be part of Star Wars, but once they introduce it, they raise the question of why nobody has bothered using what's basically a ubiquitous WMD.

Rian Johnson wrote a movie without caring what came before or after it. I think what I hate most about him is this indulgence of maximizing whatever he thought was best during a given scene, regardless of consequences.

Theyve completely destroyed all the world building that went into the previous movies. Its laughable how many plot holes and macguffins are in 8. There must be another agenda. It doesnt make sense for the most well funded and anticipated film of the year to have so many mistakes.

The same way everyone can.

They were in a place filled with ships.

You're nipticking more than RLM prequel reviews.

So basically Snoke could wipe out the "resistance" by prank calling them behind seven proxies

Consider this… how would you undertake a large scale and highly accurate census of support among normalfags for the support of the cultural marxism agenda? Release a movie that's as a broadly culturally embedded as the Star Wars franchise backed to the brim with cultural marxism while deliberately sabotaging the plot and storytelling to produce a product so politically divisive that only your true supporters would shill it while simultaneously all your detractors go to social media to bash it. This is a data-mining operation, Google probably compensated Disney on the back-end to take the financial brunt and lessen their burden.

Datamining being the primary reason seems unreasonable, but it certainly is divisive. Infamy has caused haters to talk about it just as much as fans. I think its more of a subliminal or semi-subliminal attack on pro-white, pro-family, anti-globalist belief structure. By breaking down the archetype of the noble male hero, its emasculating to all the men who watch the film.

That being said, its very apparent the choice of characters/scenes based on the appeal to the toy and merchandise market. I.e. unique space ships and fighters, a new lightsaber, cute space rats, heck maybe even blue-milk lactating quad-boobie sex toys.

jewish physics is an ancient kc /int/ meme though

Kathleen Kennedy wants her self insert to be the center of the universe. I think Rian Johnson is just an edgelord, and JJ is a fucking kike. They are all also liberal as shit, and all liberals only produce bad things.

(((They))) cannot create, only destroy or, at best, subvert.

The Force is Jewish


jewishjournal.com/hollywood/jews-and-hollywood/228947/judaism-jedi-ism/
archive.is/ZKobf

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next start wars all the "mechanical problems" are fixed. They competently create a movie that is of reasonable length, competent pacing, and minimal plot holes, all the while, albiet in a hamfisted way, give lame but plausible explanations for various fan gripes. the story is compelling and fans are desperate for their franchise to be redeemed. All the white male bashing is still in the movie. The destruction of the family themes are still in the movie. Muh feminism is still in the movie. interracial romance is still in the movie. The only people that complain about the movie are people like us that point out political bullshit that people don't want to talk about. Literally can't get a bad rating because the only people that don't like it are LITERALLY HITLER checkmate.

Luke, did I ever tell you about force ghosts. Even after a jedi dies, they can still interact with the real world exactly like the living. Let me ask my old friend, Qui Gon Jinn to help save this girl from the clutches of the Empire. He could even force project himself to our destination and rescue her before we get there and it won't hurt him because he's already dead.

> Luke, you should an hero as soon as possible in life, you will ascend to the next plane, a Jedi that can manifest and disappear at will anywhere, and conjure any force of nature by sheer willpower, you'll be like Rogue from X-Men, another Disney property, but after she's absorbed the mutant powers of Storm, and Kitty Pryde, maybe also Magneto

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We can safely assume most, if not all, EU writers ignore that because the idiocy would shatter Star Wars and the way warfare is being fought.

That will never happen since Episode IX is in worse shape than Episode VIII. Rewrites and reshots everywhere, plues it has JJ at the helm, so all you can look forward to is mystery boxes with no answers.

If Anakin was such a good friend why did Obi-wan leave him die in the most horrific way possible?

If you mean the Ron Howard directed Solo spin-off that's dead on arrival, it's due to hit theaters in 5 months. EP IX hasn't started production yet, but it will be a trainwreck, and JJ is at the helm.

Didn't they brink back JJ for IX specifically because of rewrites?

I assume he saw the trainwreck in production that was EP VIII and decided to get the fuck out, not that he was anymore qualified than Rian Johnson to have been given the job in the first place. JJ Abrams is probably still on the hook contractually and got shoehorned in there to fix the mess, they're delusional enough to think he can.

There's no fixing this mess. They basically killed half the cast, they killed the main antagonist, all they are left with is Leia (who they can't use because Fisher is dead IRL), Finn, Poe, Rey, the ugly chink and the emo mutt. None of these characters are likeable, none of these characters mesh well, Daisy can't act for shit, let alone carry a movie. What the fuck are they going to do? Feature an even bigger Starkiller II? I fucking dare them to pull that shit.

I think so, just given the way Disney handled the movie's marketing before TLJ's release I think they realized the movie was a train wreck.

There is, but not for disney.
non-cannon.

Back to reddit

He had just choked a pregnant woman and spent twenty minutes tryinf to kill him.

And slaughtered a whole temple of kids.

Younglings, not kids. It's okay if they're younglings. Tell em Chris Hansen.

What are you implying..?

If anything good can come out of this abortion of a movie, it's the resurgence of old ben posting. Now we only need to bring back sheevposting and it'll be like the good old times, before the darkness, before the (((mouse))).

butthurt.

Luke, did I ever tell you that Star Wars was such a bad franchise that later on a bunch of dumb, low IQ Star Wars fan who proclaims the prequels were good along with the dumb regular normies fans, would hate on the only good film in the franchise up to that point. A film so good it destroyed the franchise because it revealed it is a low IQ manchild plotbabby psuedo fest?

The PT was mediocre. Good worldbuilding, great idea in terms of overarching plot, horrible execution when it comes to writing. Say what you want about Anikin's comment about sand, but it never reached the complete idiocy of Rey telling Kylo to put on a shirt while having a heated telepathic debate about him killing his father.

Laura Dern was obviously cast since (((Carrie Fisher))) was an unreliable druggie, the lines her character has were obviously written for Leia.

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Fixed it for ya.

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You gotta get those little rodent pests before they get circumcised.

Didn't the Dune books have some pseudoscience where you couldn't shoot a shield with lazer because it would supernuclear and kill both people involved?
Why weren't there suicidal fanatics willing to blowed shit up all over?

but she does have an incredible on-screen charisma though.

Rian is a crazy writer, what can I even say.

Living in your head.

Rent free.

Our memeing will shake the very foundations of Hollywood. In the end George will be recognised as the genius he is.

No need to use suicide bombers as they had automated platforms for that. The excuse used for why that didn't happen all the time was that the trick would result in an explosion that would be mistaken for the use of a nuclear weapon which would have instantly escalated any war beyond the acceptable level for internobility conflicts.

Though I do think that laser+energy shield explosions was retarded and unnecessary for the world building.

Such a dumb cuckchan image

REPORTED
I will strike you with the ghost force wherever you are on Earth. I will also fuck your sexy mathematics teacher and she will never see me.