Get The Fuck In Here Faggots. We're Watching Soy Wars: VIII The Last Jedi

Can't you put it on a streaming dite with a chatbox? That would be fun, I don't want to watch this garbage but if it was streaming and I could mock it with you faggots I might be persuaded.

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

same here

lol

meh I'm still not going to watch it. Good job for posting all this though.

Part 10

Part 11

for u

Part 12

Part 13

Part 14

Part 15

Part 16

Part 17

Disgusting.

Part 18

Part 19

Part 20

Lost.

Part 21

I don't even want to and I'm already seeing this with my best friend, my sister & her boyfriend and my dad. 3 times. Separately.

Part 22

Part 23

Part 24

Part 25

I can understand once (suffered the same fate with TFA) but 3 times? Come on man. At least make an excuse.

Part 26

Part 27

Three movies in, still not feeling on why I should give a damn about these diversity cronies.

Part 28

Fucking dammit, missed most of the shit.
　　　　　　　　　 /　　　　/ 　　 ∧ ／ _j L..ヽ ｰ､　　＼　 　 　 　 　 　 /　　　　/　　　/ xく　　┐r‐ハ 　〉　　 ‘,.　 　 　 ﾄ ∧ｲ/ｲ 　 iｰ∧-ｌi　/ｰ≦ハ 　 　 |ノ ∨　 　 　. 　 　 ＜　　 　 |　　∨f ハ∨ 　 V_り ∨　 l　/ﾘ　 　 　 |. 　 　 ∠　　 　 |　　 }　Vり 　 　 　 　 / 　 :r〈∧　 　 　 |.　　 　 　 ∨∨ | i　Y　　　　　 　 　 _/_　　 |.ﾉ　 i　　　　|　　　　　　　　　ｌ八人 　 　 ﾄ､　 　 /ｉ　丶、|　　 |　　 　 l　　　 　 　 　 　 　 ﾄ､ ＞　 ..¨ ＿_/ ｌ|　　　＼　 八　　　′　　　 　 　 　 　 　 | r＼　　 　 j_厶斗zｧ　 　 ∨ 　 　 /　　　 　 　 　 　 　 | ﾄ､ﾏ≧=≦三三//　　　　 }　　　/

Part 29

Part 30

Part 31

Part 32: The Final Part

how pleb can you possibly be anons omg.
im glad you guys are bootlegging it, but seriously, why even watch it? its not even canon, its just shitty interracial fan fiction

So Luke is now this ultra powerful Jedi who can manifest holograms of himself across the universe but he didn't notice that his best friend was killed by his former apprentice?

Snoke actually seems like a cool character too bad he's in this movie.

Holy shit this script is awful. It's hard to even blame the actors this time. It's like something i would write in middle school.

For keks obviously.

I am completely baffled by everything. Why was it so hard to write an already intact story so you didn't have to continuously make shit up and explain away the shittiest writing as "because it just works!" Lucas made the same bottom bitch mistake with the prequels by not setting up a consistent story for three movies prior to filming everything.

Generally, I liked the idea of Kylo offing papa Snoke, the concept would've been neat, but uh oh, too bad Kylo can't fight for shit, is an unstable baby, and has no stated goal he's working towards. That and there's no impact to Snoke's death because Snoke's character is never expunged on. He was never a threat, just some gangly ayyy telling people to get dem rebels and dem Skywalkers who can "see everything" except the lightsaber positioning itself right next to him. All we got from that was a few minutes of the elite guard being inept with their meme weapons.

This part is the weakest shit. Everyone had a laugh over Luke dying after projecting himself to fuck with Kylo, but that isn't how it went down. The impression was "oh the strain took him out". What does the movie do? The movie has Luke shuffle around for a little bit, get comfy, and then disappear. Why? For what purpose?
Where was he that he was close enough to see them go to hyperspace? The ship appears larger in view than the planet does, because I sure can't fucking see that, like I sure can't fucking see wherever the fuck the kid's suppose to be. This is just like the nu-Death Star multi-targeting laser strike, there's not even the merest attempt to apply any basic concept of distance and space. WHERE IS THIS KID AT?

Top kek, edgelord dollar-store Adrien Brody, those poor gay shippers of dindu stormtrooper and resistance ace pilot, Mark Hamil having too much damn fun, interracial bullshit, and that shitty choreograph lightsaber fights. This train wreck keeps on giving!

Can someone give me a quick rundown on this movie?

THIS THREAD IS IMPRESSIVE

Why is Rey able to project that charm bracelet through the Force? When did that training happen?

...

Christ, her flailing with a stick and lightsaber around looks pathetic. If they zoomed out and showed her moving without constant jumpcuts it would literally just be that fat kid with a stick from a decade ago.

Really sad to see Snoke the Coke addict replacing Sheev the Jedi-Shiv who had more stage presence, charisma, and generally a better Galactic order than "Hurr durr, kill Jedi! corrupt emo-face baloney nipples Solo!"

The kid in the stable with the force is a boy, not a girl. It's not a nigger either. What's going on here? How on earth would (((Disney))) allow him to be white and ma…oh wait he's probably a faggot.

Who are you calling a faggot?
Just because I sucked your dick that one time while we were watching Brokeback Mountain does not make me a faggot.

I agree. This would make a great MST3K…
Joel Robinson, Mike Nelson, Tom Servo, Crow T. Robot & Gypsy

DON'T
NEED
NO MAN!

At least he's got black eyes.

it's about space ships and shit

At least the other two movies had some cool stuff in it. TFW was a nostalgia fest with a semi competent story. Rogue One was a kinda interesting story with some neat characters and set pieces. But this shit has nothing.
This whole movie feels like DLC for the Force Unleashed. I really don't think normies can deal with this. There's absolutely nothing to gravitate to. Maybe with the exception of Snoke. He almost has that great villain vibe like Sheev or Scar from the Lion King, but is so underwritten it doesn't matter. But normies are not going to give a shit about him.

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Very unrealistic. Laser swords, magic powers, black people in space.

40k has that too Thou even there the Black people are BLACK people, not Niggers

That's it… Seriously? That's it? This is what Disneyfags won't shut up about? This is what normalfags have been guzzling down like salty jizz down a hooker's throat?

Did they really think their new target audience is so dumb that they had to replace "light saber" with "laser sword"?

That was beyond pathetic.

What funds or benefactors or investors could this organization possibly still have left to siphon funds from? What are they going to have in the next movie to work with? The Knights of Ren? Two movies into a trilogy and we have yet to see any of Kylo's buddies. The "resistance" apparently has no government or military anymore. Who is still backing anyone? What is going on with galactic politics while both sides have decimated each other into irrelevance? What is being fought for anymore, who is actually fighting it, and why isn't anybody filling into take advantage of the power vacuum?

It was literally a shittier adaptation of Kyle's crap written by a safetypin faggot.

It feels like nobody else in the universe notices or gives a fuck that these two groups of spastics are fighting each other.

How the fuck did they even build a fucking superweapon in the first place if they were just a fucking small remnant of the empire? And if the New Republic is supposedly the official government, why is their main military force called "The Resistance"? The disney movies are just a fucking mess. TFA was a shit-tier flick whose main premise and appeal was 'muh nostalgia' and reference, and TLJ is just… I dont even know what the fuck this is supposed to be.

POLITCS I BET YOU LIKE THE TRILLOGY REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
:^)

TFW was garbage imitation that undid all 6 films story development before it, Rogue One was a shitty "canon" adaptation of Kyle Katarn's Deathstar plans heist.

I said kinda interesting not good. At least it had some sort of coherent story to follow.

Hey dumb dumb we all decided that we don't need no space politics after the prequels so we also don't need any reasoning for anything. Like why the 1st Order even exists except to look and act like the empire. Or why the "resistance" even exists except to simulate OT

nobody cares you weeaboo cocksucker.

fuck calm down. I'm speaking from a normalfag perspective here. There was things in the other movies that you could latch onto to pretend they were good movies. This new one has none of that

Say what you will about Jew Jew, but he could at least mimic spectacle that normies will latch on.

Exactly, he even made Star Trek normalfag accessible. That's pretty much his job, is to make something that meets normie expectation. Rian Johnson has no idea how to do that or make a good movie.

Normalfags have shit taste, it's why Pedowood will still continue to shit out garbage.

wow thanks for the contribution you're why this board is great

Daily reminder, Rey's eyes and mouth deserve an oscar

I agree that at least it tried to be more original and coherent. But pretty much everything it did had already been done in several other pieces of SW fiction I had seen before and it even featured a ton of pointless background cameos of obscure species from said fictions no one even in the old fandom cared much about. I'm not dissing your opinion since I get your point and you're right, but it still feels okay or good at best but not good enough as a Star Wars film.

Trying to make something mindlessly formulaic and normalfag-tier is infinitely worse than trying to be original, no matter how bad your ideas are. JJ is honestly scum for a completely different set of reasons than Rian.

Thanks, I love to think people are giving Abrams a thumbs up for shitting up Stars Wars canon and helping Disney with their "original" movies even further are just braindead retards who only praise him because he made Star Wars accessible for even more cancerous fans while making it completely shit, add in EA and Battlefront 2's microtransaction gambling there too.

Oh I agree. TFA is a fucking trainwreck once you try to even chip at the shallow veneer of competency. TLJ is just building on that sandy foundation.

Luke drinking for the monster milkers is in part 2. What part is Super Leia?

KYLO MORE LIKE KRAMER AMIRITE?

It's weird because she doesn't do this in her other movies at least from what i've seen.

It should've focused on the empire and been a much tighter story with less characters and distractions. The problem with it was it was all over the place and the characters sucked. Made the whole movie feel very empty like a commercial for insurance

nobody is disagreeing that these are terrible movie you dumb fuck
SW has always been incredibly mainstream you delusional fuck

They took Thrawn's Empire of the Hand trilogy plotline where the Empire turned "First Order" was reorganized by some strong independent black woman in the unknown regions while the Not-New Republic Resistance did jack shit while they controlled the majority of the Core Worlds and the Outer Rim.

Agreed. But I can't deny that JJ knows how to make money the easiest way possible, and sadly that's what Hollywood wants rather than actual great films with solid stories. If they can have every studio run by a team of JJs and Bays and never bring in new talent ever again, then they'd fucking do it…

Well Kylo can fight, but he ran into current-year stronkwomyn so bad luck for him.

If only. But they'll never do it because "lol bad guys" and the idiot director of RO had to strawman them as "muh nazis", even killing the buzz and likeability normalfags had for them.

Because no time is spent showing how either side impacts anyone else. It's still unclear whether Corouscant was obliterated in that bullshit multi-strike. You can assume it, but nobody seems to care. The only show of loss I remember seeing is Leia hugging Rey over Han. There is no observable cause and effect in these nu-movies. This whole movie in particular, we get space, Luke's island, a casino, and a salt world. There is nothing to gauge what is at stake.

That was one of the few things the prequels got right. I can't remember what the others were, but if you're going to have a story that spans a galaxy, I imagine you're going to want some universe-building. A civil war and decades of empire over a trade dispute? A galaxy scrambling to take pieces out of a smashed alliance pie after a surprise attack from an assumed dead imperial force run by a gangly spook that gets axed in the second act by his manchild and friends on a quest to i dunno, make sure the crimes of the sith and the jedi never happen again? Sign me up, just make it coherent.

And do so without calling any attention to themselves?

Even back then it was never as mindlessly one-dimensional as these new films are. They really felt like a universe all their own, unlike this milked mess.

Fuck you Wendig, fuck you Marvel, and fuck Sloane.

The EU says otherwise you dumb fucking idiot, of course Disney and Jew Abrams killed it because they couldn't get a diverse cast and story that is even more fucking mainstream and accessible with brain dead formulaic and predictable like what Marvel is doing with their movies. Tell me if they ever thought of making sequels that didn't render the last six movies fucking moot.

...

...

Fuck you to hell Disney.

Fuck you times infinity.

The authoritarian militaristic stuff is the only good aspect of these movies. Perfect example of producers not understanding the material and normalfags not knowing what they want

Oh yeah, the problem wasn't the space politics it was the fact that the directing was so stale and the script was retarded. The space politics made no sense and ultimately didn't have any consequence other than Sheev gaining power

The problem is they're actually not one dimensional enough. The OT was very focused on these specific characters and the setting was well defined. A New Hope was very tight with it's presentation. These new movies don't focus on anything and have very vague settings

This is like saying that Zootopia isn't mainstream because FurAffinity exists. You're not a nerd if you like SW even if you read into the EU. Those are still very mainstream books and video games and shit.

Found it. It's part 5 and holy fuck it's bad.

What a dumb cunt. Leia really should have died in that explosion rather than flying back. Carey is dead, so what the hell are they going to do with her character other than turn her into some prop.

I’d rather the story stick to Kylo, so that we can see his character develope. Rey is a bust and nothing else happens. Even the imperial fleet’s bombardment gets turned into background noise. The space battle was so fucking lame.

How is Finn a nigger? I haven't seen any or the films, but what I can piece together is he's a former competent soldier who supports the status quo, but realizes the Empire are faggots and quits, becomes a bro good with a blaster and piloting and even manages to train to become a fucking Jedi to help his friends.

None of that sounds like a retarded degenerate while not going full Mary Sue at the same time.

Don't drag your furshit into this, they killed the EU because they couldn't make their own canon or hell, make a standalone movie line that doesn't have to share the same timeline with the last 6 movies or even the EU, "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…." They can't even just make their own stories without making everything from the last six films moot and did not fucking matter.
Oh just kill yourself you fucking contrarian faggot.

To be honest, this movie felt like a Netflix tv show.

that's like asking how is Kanye West a Nigger

Because of his fat chimp face?
Honestly, the character is just dull and the actor is not charismatic. That could be said for most of the new characters.

Spot on.

Allow me to interject

No. He got bad feels on the first fight, and ran away afterwards. TFA then helpfully reveals later that he was a literal janitor on DeathPlanet 2.0

lol

If you count swinging a lightsaber wildly as training, and fucking getting himself into a coma afterwards and had to rescued by Sue Rey as helping

Kanye is a funny dumbass who inconceivably has a superiority complex and thinks he's a literal genius when all he does is make corporate music.

And he's African, which means he's a Nigger
Nigger coming from the Latin Negro meaning Black

She is the single worst cunt in all of this.
Massive cunt.

nigger you're the contrarian faggot trying to pretend the EU matters to even people who read the EU. You want to talk about garbage, that's what most of the EU is. Then you want complain about them not adapting that garbage while at the same time calling them incapable of making their own stories which is true. Giving a shit about SW in the way you are is incredibly pathetic.

that is exactly what it felt like

Way to shit on your own premier nonwhite character as a childhood hero and a role model, holy fuck.

Why is nigger offensive then?

A nigger calling other people nigger, good job on disregarding 30 years of works you fucking faggot, all in all so everything is "Accessible" right? you are a movie pedowood whore who have shit taste and just love shilling unironically the garbage Disney shits out by constantly praising Jew Jew Abrams attempts as "Mainstreaming" everything to the point where it's just formulaic turdslinging from one movie to the next, just end it all and kill yourself. Because a "real" star wars nerd doesn't need to read any media beyond he movies right? fucking retarded faggot.

Who let cuckchan in here?

Because niggers hey uppity

And there it is, the moment where even my forgiving garbage watching ass would be going "Hells fucking no"

She just beat luke skywalker in hand to hand combat. The mary sue is starting to show even more than I expected. Fucking garbage. Thanks for sharing so I don't have to suffer watching it on any paid platform.

i'm not the one who thinks SW is good or gives a shit about these movies you absolute lunatic

kill yourself

Because
THEY

The only good thing about Rogue One is that it proved that the Death Star was an inside job.

In the next movie, she'll kill Kylo in the first five minutes and then rebuild the Republic brick by brick with her own two hands.

Out of everything that could have happened with Star Wars, at least Disney gave it an "end" by declaring all of the EU "non-canon" (Thereby making a self-contained universe than cannot be further screwed with).

The Rifftrax guys (Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett, and Kevin Murphy–Mike, Crow after Trace left, and Tom Servo for the entire series except the first season) have done every SW film already, as well as Rogue One and The Star Wars Holiday Special.
rifftrax.com/collection/star-wars
Just pirate the films (TPB has them all) with the rifftrax already added (because you’d have to sync them up manually otherwise) and then send the guys a donation. They really deserve it, and the rifftrax for all of them are great.

I declare the EU canon again and all Disney shit as non-canon.

Would Damian still beat her?

Damnatio Memoriae would be the ultimate. Simply create a new Star Wars VII. Even title it The Force Awakens so it replaces it completely.

...

At this point, I'd accept NJO as the starting point of the new trilogy. It'll be a fucking strong opening too, with the Vong being the big bad invading the complacent New Republic.

He's a traitor, a rebelscum, is ugly even by average british standards, teams up with a shitty rebel who literally does jack shit other than to be there, instead of living his own life he becomes the lapdog of some dumb broad while fighting for a cause that the rest of the galaxy clearly does not give a shit about.

Almost every modern film is like that, and that's not a good thing.

There's like 1 white person in the entire movie lol.

This is the exact moment you should have stopped typing and reconsidered your life choices up to now.

He is black.

Vong would at least be interesting and fresh. I have a feeling they went with the Empire again 50% because they were too lazy to come up with something new and 50% because muh nazis.
With Vong they could bank on people being nostalgic for orcs. Get cool masks like LotR and sell it as a similar trilogy against a horde of unstoppable evil. That would be easy money, but then they couldn't bring Luke, Leia, Han, and Chewie back for the "geekculture" faggots.

Because idiots get offended over a word that was a basically factoid. I mean for fuck's sake, it was called Nigeria and negro is just black in latin ffs.

They could have just turned the Thrawn trilogy into movies, but I guess Jews can't help but want to roll in their own filth.

I mean, canonically, they were still alive for the entire NJO period, though by then they were definitely more mentor figures than actual players by this point. Which actually still fits their age. barring Fisher's unexpected passing.

Ackbar had a far more fitting end there too.

Why not? They all fought the Vong. And you can even have Chewie die on that planet (for absolutely no reason, but the shabbos goyim will eat it up) when the Vong moon-drop it.

...

Or they could have just let Lucas write it. He even gave them an outline

Pretty much all of the original characters were made into massive cunts. Luke, Leia, Han, R2D2. Disney made them all into fucking shitstain assholes.

But they didn't take it because they were pretentious assholes.

They've succeeded in wiping out absolutely everything "problematic" in Star Wars: even the old good guys (Alliance and Jedi) were bad because they were part of the old patriarchyworld order. That's what the whole point of the casino world and the double-crossing codebreaker was, everything old is bad. Kylo says it outright and Rei denies it but is a living example of it (no Jedi training needed, just FEELINGS).

At first I thought they were going to actually do a Grey Jedi thing, but I was wrong. Rei and Kylo will start an entirely new understanding of the Force: the Rainbow Jedi.

It's in the Tribe's blood to destroy things simply for the pleasure of destroying them. A Jew is a creature made of malice and base animal cunning.

What with younger CG actors they could've easily done it, but nope. Instead we got this mess.

What if they took Mark Hamill on to write the last movie?

There's no such thing as magic evil blood and its a cultural thing based on malicious greed. Not a genetic one, you retard.

Very impressive thread OP.

What good would that do, other than us being spared Yoda saying the word ‘page-turners.’ ✡Hamill✡, at least, is upset at the direction the new trilogy went…

The Thrawn trilogy doesn't necessarily require Luke, Han and Leia as the stars of the show. They could have just as easily created a new trio, while the OT characters act as mentors and leaders, but I guess showing the Empire in a compassionate light would be far too problematic.

Rabbi, you're not fooling anyone.

There are genetic predispositions towards certain types of behavior.

Please no.

I aint watchin this shit, any quick spoils so I can piss off star wars cucks?

But Mara…

There's dozens of threads on the catalog m8.

Mara Jade would be made a transsexual nigress anyway.

Here's the best one: you either have to nuke Boston or kill your own son.

She's better off not being in Disney's shitty canon. Look at what they did to Thrawn.

Saw this with my ex and her black boyfriend whilst dressed up as BB-8.

I looked like a fat mouldy mango and I asked him if he was a Blerd. He started screaming about "fucking dem gay ass Crip niggas" and told me the proper title was Blood. Just assumed he was a big fan of the Blade films since he was wearing all red.

Ex described the film as an orgasmic experience and her bf was a real asshole, grunting through the whole film after about twenty minutes in. They were both really sweaty when the film finished but I didn't think it was that intense?

Anyway, he took my phone and my wallet so nobody else would steal it. Pretty nice guy, except for the grunting and him turning around from his special cuddle with my ex and screaming "DAS RACIS MUTHAFUCKA" everytime Chewie was on screen.

Fuck those were good times. Anyone have the webm of spoilers that were dropped on nexus and steam before Far Harbor's release?

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STAR WARS IS GOOD! #DISNEYFTW #PoexFinnCanStillHappen #NormalfagREEEEEEEEEEE

No, I'm talking about the nu-shit.

The sperg from PoexFinn fags has been the only good thing about this shitty new movie.

You're a dumb one, aren't you?

Has there ever been any establishment as to what happened with the "New Republic" between Episode VI and VII?

Mystery box.

That podracing kid getting blown up was funny. It was like he was denied any active role for Poe to get more screen time.

This is where the leia flying scene appears guys, if you want to see the context of it.

I thought it was just because he looked like an unintelligent token from his debut and is apparently a shit incompetent character who swings a lightsaber once.

Oh, hey boogie. How's things?

I think I solved the mystery of why your mother cries whenever she sees you.

I hope you're regretting this even more now Lucas.

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You're a real human bean, OP. Thanks for giving me a jump-start on my kid brother so I can spoil shit for him before he hands the (((kiddie-fidlers))) some more shekels.

Didn't his wife leave him?

...

Much like any other Marxist construct it collapsed under its own weight.

Oh save us chad

He was a pretty unadmirable fellow. Lando was better anyway but he got shafted by Disney like a buttplug up a faggot's aids-ridden anus

I thought he would just be a sidekick and pushed to the side at worst.

...

It disgusts me that the paperclip rebels logo is now such a common avatar online.

We really should unfreeze Walt already, I don't think he'd approve of what his company is doing.

The movies honestly don't even feel like they have side kicks of MCs. The plot's all over the fucking place. Also girlyoda.

Its too late. JJ fucking smashed his brain jar.

...

The kid looks like it wants to eat the baby and whore.

>Rey is the most powerful force person EVAR with absolutely no training
This isn't Star Wars. It's nuKarate Kid mixed with Percy Jackson and the Lightening Thief and Doctor Strange (2016). Sad thing is, all three of these films are okay. NuKK could have been better if it didn't aim to be a "big budget film" and an advertisement for China, there isn't much problem with PJ&TLT, and Strange could have been better paced and probably should have taken some cues from the 2007 animate film.

What even is this shitty plot? I can't bring myself to care about anything or wonder why something happens.

And what the fuck's the point of Kylo Ren if he doesn't actually fucking do anything as a villain and just kills his Han Solo?

Dad?

It's a safety pin.

What's this about Percy Jackson being a Gary Stu?

lol thats right. hard to keep track of the latest sjw fads sometimes

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It's not magic, just evil.

And gas yourself Chaim.

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How much is this thread costing Disney?

I'll try spinning, that's a neat trick.

Tranny Kid looks like he gets raped by the old dude.

...

In these first couple scenes alone, it's painfully clear how little communication and planning there was between Part 7 and Part 8.. This shit actually makes TFA look like the better movie.

Was there some kind of dickwaving contest in the writer's room to see who could spit the bigger loogie in JewJew Abrams's eye when they wrote this? Because you have to try pretty damned hard to make him look like the more competent writer/director

dis it bretty cringe dialogue.

It was shit compared to the animated one.

He kills Snoke so I guess he's the new emperor.

I kinda feel bad for Rian Johnson, he had to deal with boring characters and plot-holes created by Abrams.

This. Abrams is the one responsible for the worst these movies have to offer.

Guys, I just saw the Last Jedi. I don't have any bias here, I didn't really enjoy the force awakens that much for what it added to Star Wars.
The Last Jedi is flawed, but a flawed masterpiece. Rian Johnson literally just took the series to a new level of filmmaking.
1) Wasn't annoyed by Rey
2) Impressed very much tonally and visually (first 10-15 min were hard to get into but once you did it really was nice)
3) Had the classic Star Wars campy self aware comedy
4) Yet injected this extra atmosphere and level of ambience and feeling that hasn't been seen since Episode III
It's unironically kino lads, I'm not even joking. Easily this is one of the best Star Wars films. I would put it in the top 3 with Revenge of the Sith and Empire Strikes Back. It's better than Episodes IV and VI.
Some things aren't executed well but Ill be fucking damned a lot of it was and i not only enjoyed myself but Rian Johnson just made a love letter to Star Wars and Luke Skywalker himself. He made a very calculated picture with a sense of mystery and faith that hasnt been seen since the prequels. George definitely liked it.

I give it a 8/10 easily. Unironically saved the series

Can confirm that's how it works in Star Wars.

I don't know, man.. Sure, Rey is an awful character, but all the same, they were set on a very clear arc.. and then this chucklefuck bumbles in and gives us sloth milk and snarky dialog that feels like it came out of a Joss Whedon script. They throw out everything from the previous movie and fuck up the whole babby's-first-mythology approach that works for Star Wars.

Ridley's almost cute…and then she opens her mouth and you see those dick-grinders of hers.

Well, I see Jew Jew managed to get a few of his (((relatives))) minor roles.

Did she cuck Han with a anteater or something?
Well, they made her a Mary Sue. Better late than never, right?

Why in the sugary fuck wouldn't R2D2 have been with him in exile? Astromechs carry lightspeed coordinates because the X-Wings' onboard computers can't handle the load. Luke couldn't have piloted his X-Wing unless he took another astromech and then ditched it in the water or cut it up for parts.
>(((Laura Dern))) with purple hair
Give me strength.

Color me surprised.

Is that Stewie from Family Guy?

>Star Wars: The Last Training Montage
Because you're destined to watch her fuck a black man while you hide in the closet.

Abrams, kill yourself you skeevy jewfuck.

I can't go on. I never watched VII specifically because I knew I'd probably drop all my spaghetti. I know now I should have avoided temptation this time, as well. This is desecration.

Why do people hate the sloths?

WHAT IN THE ABSOLUTE FUCK?!?

Is that Gareth Edward?

The very fact you have to say that is evidence she's a shit character.
Nah it sucked. Prequels were nicer-looking.
Yes, Star Wars' comedic moments have always been the high points of the franchise. It was cringy and awkward.
It feels like a bland empty universe.

They were too humanoid for Luke to be sucking on dem sweet titties. It was just creepy.

I bet you within 2-3 years they will take a break year and then work really hard on one movie (only to have it fail miserably). Disney is crashing!

What wonderful chemistry between chink and nigger. Chink shocked nigger with space taser because he's a deserter but they geek out once they find out how to deal with the tracker and they make up. I can totally see why they would kiss later. A limp Finn throughout the movie might have been better.

Also, why aren't there any guards for unconscious Leia? Why is Poe able to hold her hand after getting chewed out by triggered-in-commander? Would be bad if a traitor was in their midst. At least reliable Finn is there to leave with Chink to deal with that tracker.

Here's another good chemistry scene where Rey is having a space COLLECT call with Kylo across space. Kylo is using the old model so he can't see her face while talking to her. I guess this must be the reason why they used the projection fight for later to make this scene work.

Okay. Not sure why Kylo has wet hands is significant. Could be because of sweat but I think they were going for that he felt the environment where Rey was because it was raining there. Don't think the force has the power to transport rain through force communication.

Now Chink and Nigger are at Space Luxury Casino to the stop the rich who profit by giving money to The First Order. It looks just like any luxury casino liner we have here so creativity seems to have already been spent. Don't worry, they try to hit those nostalgia beats with Caribbean version of the bar music from the original star wars in Empire 2.0. What I'm wording is who is paying the First Order then? I don't think trickle down economics can work since I'm not seeing how they are getting money in return to sustain themselves, unless this is the reason for the casino. Are they hoarding cash somewhere? I've seen nothing used with Porgs with any significance. They are just thee to sell merchandise as expected or to act as comic relief.

Some thing that came up with my friend was the vernacular of the original star wars was the use of these made up words. I bring this up because there are times where it uses modern lingo and it doesn't feel right. I'll going through it and it's tough to see how terrible it actually is. 2/3rds more to go.

Who knows, maybe it was executive meddling. Marvel humor isn't the typical Johnson's humor.

You're a brainlet I'm talking about the direction. Now we shouldn't compare because the prequels are completely different but what was attempted was the on the same level of the prequels. It honestly was great.

The ONLY good thing of the film.

Literally Bix'd nood'd

...

Not being subtle at all there Disney. The First Order did nothing wrong eradicating these lightbringers.

THAT STUPID FUCKING BITCH!

Resistance members get stunned for trying to jump ship.

Dude, what?

I've been trying to give this movie a chance as I'm watching it now. And this is one of the biggest bullshit moves ever and feel like it's inconsistent with Luke Skywalker.

So, even when he was new to the Force and had to face his Father and the Emperor in RotJ.. He knew by killing his own father would bring him to the dark side even when he clearly knows his own Father has created massive genocide of millions of innocent lives lost by him.

But I guess it's completely cool that even when his own nephew who had "a little darkness" within him I guess it's time for him to kill him.

It would have been more interesting and more reasonable if there was at least some effort on Luke's part to bring him back to the light like he did with his father.. But nah, he just wanted to just wanted to kill Ben Solo because he was too powerful.

(((He))) turned one of my childhood heroes into a cold-blooded murderer. JJ Abrams and Michael Bay will share a bunkbed in Hell.

I hope none of you do this besides piracy purposes

RIP Grand Admiral Thrawn

Starkino
Revenge of the Sith
Empire Strikes Back
The Last Jedi

Flicks
Attack of the Clones
The Phantom Menace
A New Hope
Return of the Jedi

Ass
Rogue One
The Force Awakens

As if he wasn't being cucked willingly and knowingly or not before then… don't be naive user.

So, what's the next movie even going to be about? It looks like there's really no stakes left and the "good guys" pretty much already won.

Darth Drumf will build a space wall around Coruscant and Rey, Kylo and Boyega will use the power of diversity to destroy it.

Thanks mate!

The Auschwitz (((survivors))) are safely corralled aboard the Millennial's Falcon and ushered to the new Zion where the tribe establishes a new home for the resistance and a HQ for the galactic ZoG to operate from

...

The same Kylo who got his ass handed to him in the first movie no less. Do you know what "pretty much" even means?

...

...

I'm watching this for free and I STILL want my money back.

Haha, yeah, it's all fun and games until the whole site get's shoah'd. Just wait.

Okay, so Leia can fly through fucking space but she can't remotely pilot a large ship through the Force? And where in the nun-fucking hell are all the droids that could have been sacrificed instead?

This. Fuck Disney. Fuck this new Director. Fuck JJ. And fuck Disney again. Burn in hell the lot of 'em.

No. I mean his wife is no longer taking care of him or living with him anymore last I heard. Supposedly he was struggling to survive or something. Any other info on this?

The red sand shit is pretty neat to look at. Everything else is just as bad, if not infinitely worse, than TFA. Hopefully Disney cannot salvage this shit.

It's Boogie. Who the fuck cares?

He's a crybaby who folds when things get tough. He thinks his mom mentally abused him and that's why he's a fat fuck. All she probably did was tell him to go for a fucking jog. He wanted to be a niceguy centrist during gamergate, even as he was being called a misogynist nazi. He shut down when Anita yelled at him backstage at that jewtube thing. It's hard to stick up for a guy who never sticks up for himself.

I had a friend saying she ain't a Mary Sue because she is daughter to no one and she don't trust her own power
this while beating luke that is basically the son of the force messahia

This is absolutely fucking awful writing. Holy shit.

I thought it was pretty clear when they started introducing villains of the week, but this movie is becoming more and more obviously made for a stupid foreign audience. Fuck star wars

He was the only good emperor. Next to the Fels

This, so much this.

He's not a bad guy, I don't wish ill upon him. But he's a fucking spineless cunt so I don't have to respect him either. He's probably been cucked to bits now as well, he's weak. I'm growing to despise weakness in my old age.

Even if she stuck red-hot irons up his ass-flaps, it doesn't excuse his fence-sitting and not-neutral neutrality. Any man who would let Anita Sarkesian bitch him out must live off a constant supply of soy… but then why is he morbidly obese?

The guy's probably 80% estrogen at this point so I can't really be surprised.

Do we see the outline or it's gone?

I'm not sticking up for him. I just wanna know if he's alive or not? How can someone with such a lifestyle still be alive without a cheating wife or any kind of help?

Soy is every junk food.

I don't think he's shown signs of life since 1994.

Idiots giving him enough patreonbux to afford a regular nurse and a specially-trained "wiping" nurse.

It was never there to begin with. Disney rejected every suggestion or advice from Lucas.

...

He's allowed to live because morbidly obese people are more profitable to the pharmaceutical industrial complex.

He mentions in the movie that he had cut himself off from the force long ago. He embraced the force again when he was talking to Yoda and did his little hologram trick.

Thanks.

I like how he immediately completely backpedaled the next day, presumably after heavily armed Disney enforcers were sent to his home.

...

The idiot thought he was only giving his movie rights to the fiends at Disney. He didn't realize he was actually giving those devils control over everything that he is. Damn it Lucas, you fool.

I can only imagine you mean the Oscar for Best Digital Monster Effect.

the overall plot for the prequels was created back in 1978-9, when george started designing vader's background.

...

and then

"medpack! I need a medpack!"

Are you for sewious?

Good, I don't even want to watch this shit ironically.

Why not something like the Legacy era, where you have the Fel Empire, the One Sith, the Galactic Alliance and all that other cool shit? I bet you that would sell like fucking hotcakes man.

...

Johnson's job was to downplay and/or retcon the shit made by Kennedy and Abrams. That's why there's a training sequence with Rey for example, but it has no impact on the story because it's happening way too late, that shit should've been in the first movie.

...

Why does every fucking scene need all these dramatic pauses? It's like the whole movie was made to be a potential trailer shot.

Only 2nd time this movie has made laugh but I don't think that was the intent. Seeing Finn and Chink shocked as they found their master decoder was priceless. Luke lies to Rey here about Kylo which is to reveal the stupidity to come later.

What a coincidence, after being sent to jail they find a new decoder that helps break them out even though BB8 was on his way to help. He was packed with casino coins and able to tie up all those guards. Was even able to hold down one guard with a barrage of coins as Funky Toney decoder knocked him out.

They were almost ousted by the kid, the one that got knocked down earlier, from hitting the alarm at the stable, but once they showed the turning decoder ring, they surely proved they were Rebel Alliance. No secret password required! Now it's time to rekt those rich bastards profiting by supporting the First Order with a stampede with their alien race horses.

Luke force check-ups on Leia. Not sure why he didn't do that for Han to know if he's dead or not because I feel they'll bring him back. Chink and Nigger saved by Trench Coat Mafia Funky Toney and BB8. Totally awesome new character and decoder acquired!! More force long-distance communication and Kylo is the one to initiate the conversation and he's shirtless. Okay…. Some added backstory to Kylo and he reveals why he's such an emo. His parent's abandoned him and to prove that was the reason, Luke was trying to kill him when he was asleep.

Time for tree scene for Rey as we fall into hole from earlier. Now we get a scene that is reminiscent of another movie that I forget the name of. Forgive my use of anime reference here, but Kado- The Right Answer had a similar scene where you met a stack of yourselves lined up and you see the beginning and future actions of what is happening throughout. It looks cool I guess.

Then we go even further from force long-distance communication to long distance touching as Kylo and Rey are getting to know each other. Then like a parent who caught their teen son or daughter having sex in their bedroom, Luke was having none of that and breaks the hand touching connection.

Then we come to the confrontation that'll break people. A fight between them because of a lie covering the truth would have been perfectly fine. What I didn't like is how Luke is made to fumble over to an untrained raging woman who demands answers. They fumbled with passing the torch in TFA but this one is the most insulting as a fan.

We've reached the halfway point and peak dumbness can't be contained here. Luke did try to kill young Kylo because he sense powerful ed- I mean darkness in him and he was already Snoke infiltrated. He hesitated because he Solo's "son" and he is his master but Kylo busts out because of the implications of the scene. Rey argues that he saw Ren's future by the force touch (new power-up?) and if they turn him, this war will be over. Luke argues back and Rey won't listen and takes off.

Then we get the Yoda scene. Luke was going to burn the old Jedi text but was hesitant again. Then we get an act of god by Yoda to call down thunder to destroy the tree and the text because everything written in it, Rey already knows. I feel that this is a literal representation that the old star was you love is over and you'll have to deal with nu-Star Wars from now on and they did it with one of your favorite characters to get that point across.

I think what they were getting at with this stupid scene is Nature vs. Nurture. Luke sees the nature of light and dark side but Rey goes nu-uh, people can be changed! Not that it matters since those 2 scenes were to show that everything was Luke's fault. Did his mere intention of pulling a lightsaber at young Kylo trigger him go to the dark side?

Also, where is Phasma? Was she still in the trash because I thought she was in the film. I don't think I remember her appearing previously before. Though, the big question now is, can force rape across galaxies be possible now. If you can feel touch, then couldn't Kylo literally power up to fuck Rey into submission leisurely air humping her in his room? Seeing all these together and not out of order makes it so tiring as it stacks stupid with even more stupid one after another. I'm not sure I can finish it guys.

It's a live adaptation of The Legend of Korra.

...

JUST

Things I learned from Star Wars over the decades: Don't gloat, don't make speeches, just fucking kill them while you've got them overpowered.

Why? What would be the point?

By saving Fin she killed Luke

Rian's writing is fresh and works with his direction

Why the fuck doesn't Reyce Mixer have a Darth Maul styled staff-lightsaber? She's been fighting with a lance this entire time, so why suddenly switch to a sword?

Because leftists subconsciously view blacks as inferiors, and view any attempt to distinguish between blacks and whites as a charge of inferiority.

LOL

So after all that, she's not even a fucking Skywalker?

Around blacks, never relax.

More to the point, how the fuck did kylo know this? Did Rey believe him? Why would she? It's glossed over so quickly to make room for the "Now join me and we will establish a new order" shit and is never brought up again.

So this is NuWars's version of the cantina scene. Even they music is similar.

i believe this time it's john williams' work and not that hamilton guy.

Then why don't they just use it instead of getting closer?! The Death Star was the size of a moon but could take out a planet! Worst case scenario is that little fucker could take out a city!

...

at least with this clip they're - probably unintentionally - dropping a redpill on double dealing kikes making money from both sides of the conflict

Naturally. Still, I hate her less than Rey for some reason.

No one cared who he was, until he made those bombs. They are terrified of this guy, because he told the truth, he saw the truth, and it blackpilled him

It's the whole "muh ebil corporations selling weapons to fuel war".

It almost tries to be high brow for a moment and then we take a nose dive back into the science fantasy that is Star Wars. It's a mixed message

Nice dubs.

because then the rebels wouldn't have a reason to drive around their rustbuckets to kick up dust you silly goy. gotta sell those toys.

they try to do that narrative but then the basically ignore it for the rest of the movie. Why even put it in there? It amounts to nothing in the plot.

How did Luke Skywalker single-handedly blow up the Death Star when he had no force training?

anita is that you

It'll be just like Begger's Canyon back home… and I've hit Womp Rats, they're not much bigger than that. Kid knows his Xbox.

...

Its A Hologram

The dog monsters are pretty much the only endearing thing about this movie.

You saved your fucking pops, who had DECADES of blood on his mechanical hands. Why the hell can't you save an impressionable faggot who's only been at it for a few? Hell, he doesn't even have his Sith master, anymore, but you managed to turn Anakin on HIS Dom just by hanging there, being electrocuted.

Now that's the John Williams I know and love. The music in Force Awakens was lackluster and boring, because they forced John to compose in only three months.

This.

We'd just put him on anti-depressants and let this shit work itself out. If not, stick him in prison with some Boyegas.

>"NO! NO NO NO NO NO!"

You have blasters, faggot. Even if Marey-Sue hadn't shown up, you'd be able to blast your way out.

God Bless OP.

The hero Holla Forums needs, but not the hero it deserves.

Every time I see this creature's face on screen, it makes me want to vomit.. Something about the way she talks and carries herself and her expression.. It's just so repulsive.

Farewell, childhood friend. This is worse than you deserve but slightly better than I thought these (((assholes))) were going to give you.

Jesus Christ, what a trainwreck. Still, thanks for being a bro and uploading this, you're a big guy OP!

I haven't watched any nuwars, is that supposed to be mon mothma?

It's admiral whogivesafuck, who takes over once Leia is hospitalized after her little superman trick.

3 days later, a stormtrooper saw the ring and cut his hand off.

Thanks OP!

"Joy shared is doubled, pain shared is halved." No one, and I mean NO ONE I know supports my hatred for JewJew Wars, and they mock me for taking a stand against it. I wouldn't have watched this one except I was watching it with my brothers and sisters who understand the difference between right and wrong, good and evil, human and jew.

WHY IS SHE SO REPULSIVE?!

You haven't been watching Twin Peaks, have you?

Or Jurassic Park?

Any new Capital Ships?
Its all I care about at this point and this looks like anal sewage

Does she have a long neck or is it a visual trick?

A mere visual trick like this one

So this movie insinuates that Rey's mary sueness is just because she is some kind of counterpart to Kylo right? In that one is on the extreme end of the light and the other is on the dark. We have luke going on about balance and the movie makes a point to show that she understands what this "balance" is. Then later you have Luke going off about how the old Jedi were corrupt, putting them in a not so bright light.

All this making me think they were hinting that Rey would actually join Kylo. And then after finally working together and killing Snoke they immediately backtrack from that. Fucking Kylo even goes on about how the old world needs to die so they could bring up a new one. A "sith" and a "Jedi" working together. making that balance thing come together that she was totally agreeing with during that meditation scene.

Not this would have saved the movie, but it feels like they were going somewhere with that and then just dropped it for some reason.

Because going full Semitic on the most anticipated movie of the year would be waaaaaaaay to blantant.

a two-state solution? how did make it in the film

nope. resistance is using the old mon cal ships and that wedge is the only new thing, besides some half-assed attempt at a dreadnought.

I kind of assumed that the whole movie was building toward Rey and Kylo working together against the true evil, whatever that was.. since they kind of offed Snoke before we could learn anything about him or what his aim was. Instead, they work together, save each other, then immediately start arguing and decide they hate each other.

Pathetic, hows the dreadnought?
Could someone who watched it it link me to the Mp4 in which it appears?
All the images are blurry shit

it fails in everything it attempts to do. it blows up the resistance base just after the last escape shuttle gets out of the blast zone, and its one attempt to fire on the lead resistance ship is blocked by a frigate. there's no webm as it's the very opening of the film, which these clips start just after.

alright, I'm watching. nice how evil guy points out that kylo is a new vader. nobody would have noticed that

Jesus fuck

I don't think it was any retarded "political" shit. Something like that must have been obvious was going to force them to end the story and any more shekels.

Guys, relax, Disney is already working on the special edition that retcons all the fixes we've pointed our as the err of their ways.

… and the Kathleen Kennedy problem, well, we got a team of fixers on that.

Barely new skins for the Resistance ships. Also, why is the First Ordah using ONLY TIE fighters? Couldn't they at least use the new ones that appeared in Rouge Uan for Close Air support, in the battle in salt planet? I have been seeing only fighters for everything, jesus. NOT EVEN A MERE TIE INTERCEPTOR IN SIGHT.
And speaking of the battle…the shitty speeders didn't nothing interesing or useful in the movie! Werent this the snow speeder version for the movie? Then they would have been used for something cool, and not just going forward and releasing red salt…Pure waste. The sky speeders were shit-looking, but at least they could have tried something to them.

Am I seeing this right? The little twist at the end where the magical force tree didn't burn with all the books because Rey grabbed them?

There's a holographic one on the weapon dealers ship for irony

That "irony" is why Jews get massacred with startling regularity.

Luke's not even dead, he was just hologramming himself to Atch-to all this time, he's actually back on Tattoine in his boxers, eating cheetohs, in what's left of Uncle Owen's basement.

yeah i noticed that as well.

i c o n i c tie fighters

checking myself, i just realized what a big fuck you it is to the film's whole "leave the past behind durr". if rey is to make a new jedi order, why would she take the books? for fuck's sake, with all this talk of "let the past die and move on to a new world" she still keeps the old one with her. i bet you rey goes to ahch-to and finds luke's green saber.

but she'll replace it with a pink crystal for breast-cancer awareness

I wonder, did they use Carrie Fishers corpse for that shot?

You can thank capeshit for normalizing quirky modern tier dialogue.

Shit I'm surprised the resistance isn't using all millenium falcons

>

i would actually be okay with the resistance using a fleet of yt-1300s.

A resistance of only 400 members is barely enough to make the evening news, Disney doesn't really seem to comprehend scale at all. This all seems like a local law enforcement issue than a military engagement issue, they should have dispatched a Lieutenant with a couple of squads and Ren and Hux be laid back by the Casino pool.

...

...

Just watched two parts and im already bored.

Thanks?

Thank you OP, truly gods work.
It gives a sense of satisfaction knowing Disney is not going to be getting any money from me now, and that judging by the clusterfuck this movie is, they will not be getting much from whatever merchandise they release either.

This was a soul-less, pointless movie. It answered nothing and set nothing up. Where does the next movie go from here? There was no set up for the third (+however many more they have planned) movie, they aren't going to be rescuing Han from carbonite, there is not a big set piece battle foreshadowing.
What the fuck was the point? Short term shekel acquisition and "We'll sort the story out later just don't think that far ahead"?

This movie was fucking bad. Star Wars or not, it was fucking bad.

...

Yeah, and this is in a intergalatic affair too, NO ONE should care about 400 asshats on three ships. One user mentioned earlier how it's strange that no one is taking to take advantage of how both the Resistance and First Order have ground each other in to basically nothing but a pair of autists with lightsabers and their brain dead allies screeching at each other about light and darkness- kinda makes me think it's because no one actually cares about what's going on here in universe, every one else in the galaxy has moved on and at most just point and laugh at all those silly rebel and empire remnants are still fighting a war they BOTH lost

So is somebody going to stream this with a chatbox or what? That is the only way this will be worth watching. Or will you get fined by Disney or something if you do that?

Look again. Back on Shitworld, Luke's clothes collapse like Ben's did back in Star Wars.

That's right. I called it Star Wars.

...

Funky Toney needs a price to get shit done and it's the Chink's necklace which belonged to her sister I think. I guess they mentioned it during the casino thing but I really don't care since I'm wondering why Chink has such a big role. She hasn't really done much so far. I guess this was suppose to be a revelation but the army is mostly controlled by machines.

First Order still hammering escaping rebels. Poe argues with triggered-admiral about abandoning the main ship seeing that they are going about fueling transporters which would make them sitting ducks to enemy attack and this being a bad idea. Triggered-admiral is having none of that and gets him taken away for insubordination.

Rey delivers herself to Kylo and was only missing the bow and ribbon as she lets herself get cuffed. Poe apparently just leaves his room no problem after his insubordination and holds triggered-admiral at gun point with some buddies to take the ship back to stay the course with this First Order fight. Finn, Chink and Funky Toney sneak on the enemy ship in disguise. Feeling that sense of deja vu again. Especially that jamming scene which could have easily been replaced with the Space Balls parody of it.

The First Order has their own chromed out BB8. Going to sell those at Toys'r'us if it is still around? Rey and Kylo's talk about that future touch and changing on elevator as we finally get to see a less shitty Snoke in goldmember attire. The necklace comes into play as codebreaker uses it as a conductor for the wiring he is doing. Funky Toney gives the necklace back to Chink and all is forgiven.. I guess.

Triggered-admiral kicks open a conveniently placed steam pipe to blind the traitors and take control of her ship back. C3P0 tries to leaves Poe as well as his cameo behind. Too bad for Finn, Chink and Funky Toney as they were caught before they could help Poe out.

Phasma actually shows up finally. After breaking down the door that Poe was holed in, in comes a conscious Leia to blast Poe down. 3rd time I laughed and they've all been the new characters getting hurt brutally. It's like she was trying to blast Poe out of this franchise because he doesn't belong there.

It's finally revealed that triggered-admiral did good and she is going to sacrifice herself to save them when the rest of the crew escape and Leia knew about this prior? Snoke reveals that he was the one who created the "bridge" for Rey and Kylo to force talk and touch scene from before and she fell for it. Rey really shows off her chompers from the air rape she was getting. She could eat Snoke with them teeth if she tried.

They reveal the plan that they're going to a heavily armored rebel base to Poe and triggered-admiral's "noble sacrifice". In a twist, it turns out that Funky Toney was Lando Calrissian all along as he sells his buddies that he only met for a few hours to the First Order because of that money. I thought there was a secret signal between Chink and him but it seems like it was just part of his character trait. He can always turn back in the next film. Rey tries to get a lightsaber but Snoke just turns it around and smacks it at the back of her head. Best part of this movie so far. Too bad he made a careless setup that I can't believe he didn't see coming. She continues to struggle as she is now using Kylo's lightsaber to fight this time.

After force holding this bitch awkwardly for the 3rd time I think, he finally offers her up to be killed by his apprentice. Snoke initiates monologuing and you know what happens. Of course, Kylo would kill Snoke with the lightsaber handle next to him with his force power if it was conveniently placed next to him after being used to smack Rey upside the head.

Snoke we hardly knew yee. No really, we hardly know anything about this guy and then he gets killed off so I'm not sure what I'm suppose to feel here. I expected it but there was not much value to his death at this point. Now it's the Kylo and Ren duo fight against the red troopers on red walls I guess for style purposes. It's not like they blend into the red wall so it doesn't act as a cloaking device. Okay combat but I think there focus was to show off the new energy weapon toy designs they'll be selling later. I guess they wanted to avoid the high choreography fights of the prequels.

The Falcon was a heavily modified freighter. It's like a UPS truck with nitro boosters hidden in a special secret compartment. They'd need to retrofit the fuck out of a fleet of them. And they show in Empire just how temperamental the Falcon can be, with the worst possible timing.

>and was only missing the bow and ribbon A-cup gold bikini as she lets herself get cuffed.

FTFY

Never underestimate the "But HE'S got one!" effect on children, or the pleb taste of normals.

nobody cares, dad.

I told you no computer until your homework was done, son.

No. No! That's not true! That's impossible!
Look, he probably just found a way to transfer his soul into a porg or something.

Search your feels. You know it to be true.

This is the best thread on here right now. It even allowed Holla Forums to surpass Holla Forums thanks you glorious faggots

learn how to use a camera OP

By Kek, the whole casino thing was so boring I just skipped it.

Checked

How cute were the PORGS(tm) though!

>no nazi porg rule 34 on search engines yet

We're reaching GRUM levels of shit writing.

lol emailed Disney about hatechan being used to pirate Disney. Enjoy this shithole being sued off the internet and Jim being fed to his own pigs.

t. Gamerghazi

Fucking retarded.

...

What blasphemy was this at the end!?
A YOUNG WHITE MALE!!???

Rey is destined to groom him for shottacon and go full Padme on her Anakin

I just realized that this feels like watching harry potter in space, if you get what I mean. A product with the same variables, only re-themed.

i actually found the scene of chewie about to eat a fried porg somewhat funny. him throwing it away was definitely some kind of virtue signal to soyboys and vegans though.

archive.is/XjJrJ

lol

op dindu nuffin

It's worse than that.. They went at it for days of pursuit. They had that one successful fly-by that took out 99% of the rebel leadership who happened to be in the conveniently located SHOOT ME deck, and the proceeded to accomplish very little. Rey had to meet Luke, follow him around for a couple days, sleep and have a few dream meet ups with Kylo, then do some training for a day or so, fall into the dark side butthole, do more chatting with Kylo, then eventually leave and fly all the way back to where the Rebels were.

I don't know if it qualifies as a plot hole, but it's a pretty huge oversight that the entire movie takes places around the pursuit of the Rebel fleet.. which kicks off with them getting their shit exploded, and then immediately drops down to a low energy stalemate.

at least in the EU, the Empire has special ships that project artificial gravity wells that force ships passing nearby in lightspeed to drop out

...

Wait

I thought they were going to set it up that Benjamin El Toro was the real codebreaker after all, and he just lost his jewel thingy in a bet or something, but then nothing happened. Did they just randomly run into some other expert cryptographer by pure luck or did I miss the hint that it was really him?

The reason they don't just jump to lightspeed and get the fuck out of there is because they can be tracked through lightspeed.. somehow.. Never really explained why or when the First Order developed that technology in between having their entire planet-sized base blown up.. and also because their ship only has enough fuel for one more jump.. which would leave them stranded when the bad guys track them again.

no, they went at it for about 12-16 hours. 3/4 of a day at the most. everything you see is all happening simultaneously until everyone meets back at the ship. ahch-to and canto bight have different rotation speeds, hence rey spending like a week there and finn and chink spending the night in soy vegas.

(heil'd)
kek

The mouse is going to fucking wreck your life OP. Jim works for the spooks in the government and will turn your info over in a heart beat. Disney will throw as much money as they can at you to find you and destroy your life. The only way they are going to get out of the PR nightmare this film became is by shifting blame to you and your campaign of threats and harrassment. They are going to fuck your life up and it doesn't matter where in the world you are they will find you and destroy you to save face infront of their investors.

Get meme'd on, kiddo.

What if OP is from Israel?

Judging by the watcher scores on RT, the normalfags aren't having this either.

Kikes that kike higher level kikes get treated like goyim trash too.

Nope. They literally just happened to meet some random fuck who waited in jail for no reason even though he could just walk out whenever he wanted. I figured he might have been planted there by the First Order, but nope.. He just happened to be there and cut a deal with them for his freedom when he got captured.

At least 2 days passed on Luke's little island planet, maybe more, which happened in tandem with what was going on with the pursuit, because Kylo Ren kept having little force phone calls with her.

the only people singing praise for it are people who have never seen a SW film before, or only started with the disney shit.

yes i know, hence why i mentioned ahch-to clearly having a faster rotation.

wait, that purple haired dyke was Ellie from Jurassic Park?

I found something almost as entertaining/horrific.

lol

Heiled.

What the fuck does he say about the jedi? Lucas would have never agreed on this

People brag about the weirdest shit these days.

i cant watch this in 4 min parts. anyone got the full thing? or can combine them and put them in a mega file or something?

I think you're giving them entirely too much credit. I don't think they factored in different day-night cycles and the cosmic scale of relative time. I don't think anyone at the writer's table even knew that was a thing that actually happens. Chances are, they never really stopped to think that either the little space chase took several days, or Rey and luke hung out for a total of half a day before she fucked off and delivered herself to the bad guys.

He says they fucked up hard by little Darth Sidious start the Empire, make Vader, and destroy the Jedi.

Shalom fellow porgsters

Just that they're hypocritical failures. Don't worry, Rey sets him straight, after beating him up.

just d/l and do a playlist

It's a safety precaution. If you watch for more than five minutes consecutively you're in danger of taking your own life.

can you imagine paying 15 dollarydoos for a ticket on this?

of course i am, these are the same fuckwits who thought you could see the core worlds from the outer rim in broad fucking daylight

everytime i click on it it plays for a second. it's not a problem early parts but i dont want to see what scenes are happening towards the end when downloading

Yeah there was a time.

Right Wing Safety Squads keeping Anons safe in the current year.

I'm still not gonna watch it
I made the mistake of seeing the prequels and I'm not repeating it

if you're this retarded, you deserve it and no one should explain it.

the prequels are cinematic masterpieces compared to the disney abortions.

i am this retarded

JJ did the same thing in Star Trek 2009.

better yourself user. it's not brain surgery to figure out a solution to your super nitpicky dilemma

that doesn't excuse them for continuing it.

the only solution i would think you're saying is find a program to download all videos on a page or something like that. But doesnt really exist on macs. The more logical conclusion is you telling me to find it myself

Thanks OP.
Flick was even worse than expected. I feel kinda bad for Hamill. First the movies ruin your whole career but at least you are the galaxies greatest hero. Then they tear everything down. They make you drink green milk from an alien giraffe, you're getting your ass kicked by some random girl, get poked by Yoda, they blame you for fucking up Keylos training and turning him to the dark side, they force terrible dialog on you (see you around kiddo) and banal slapstick (dusting off the shoulder) and in the end you die meaninglessly. And you weren't even there.
I guess Disney threatened to off his three kids if he would refuse to play along. Just sad.

Essentially, star trek into darkness had the same techno bullshit as TLJ. Teleportation from earth to klingon's homeplanet, just like Luke hologramming to the other side of the galaxy.

One of the odd things about TFA was how nothing was made of Leia's force ability, and Luke was looked up to as a legend. Seemed like a miss from a feminist standpoint. Well, they made up for it.

nigger just rightclick

they didn't ruin his career, they made him untold amounts of money so he could live in relative peace and quiet. also he's constantly shitting on the new movies outside of any PR events.

oh fuck, you're right. i forgot that into lens flare had the super enterprise that was able to catch up to the regular enterprise in warp and knock out out of warp. top wew. jj must have had a hand in the writing.

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found the problem

They helped each other escape death in the stupidest way. Rey dropping her lightsaber from one hand and grabbing it back with the other to kill the red trooper, even though that red trooper should've kept her hand locked in his arms. Dropping a lightsaber shouldn't magically loosen the grip. If there was space there, she could have pulled her sword back towards her to cut his arms as it passes through. She then passes the lightsaber to Kylo so he flash stabs his red trooper that was holding him back.

Then we get the reveal of Rey's origin and it's revealed that Luke is definitely not the father. She is a nobody to parents that sold her. Not sure how I feel about this. Doesn't this make her accomplishments more ridiculous? With Luke being the father it can work but now she's just a normal person with a ton of force talent. You could argue Luke too in the original but I'm not sure she's done anything so far to make her a compelling character to let such a thing slide as being her story since many of her adventures has been walking the path of others done before and better. First Order not being fooled by Main Ship decoy plot and continue to attack transporters. Bye nameless crew that we'll never know about. Then we get a really gay and symbolic battle between Kylo and Rey over the light saber. This can only get much worse if they go down this path.

Triggered-admiral going at ramming speed at First Order ship. Kylo and Rey going full anime over a lighsaber as they are pushed away from its center to get control over it. Just as Finn and Chink are about to be executed, Triggered-admiral light speed rams the ship, as Rey and Kylo are blown apart at a lightsaber that breaks in half symbolically. Finn and Chink try to escape the wreckage but get stopped by Phasma.

I was wondering when they would use the traitor meme since they were aware of it. They've said traitor before but it is at this point, it was Phasma who does the dramatic traitor line. She had to steal another stormtroopers meme because she's done nothing noteworthy herself instead of being trashed in TFA.

BB8 barged in with controlled chicken walker as Finn and Phasma have their fated energy sword battle (don't think Finn has a lightsaber since she blocked the weapon without having one herself.). Chink tries to enter the fight but is only useful as only a distraction so Finn can take the higher ground to bait Phasma to jump up and slice her in half with that half revealed face she was sporting.

Triggered-admiral had a weak sacrifice scene. What would have been a defining moment for her character like most movie and tv characters that have done this type of sacrifice before, she stays silent and drives like a regular driver that accidentally pressed the light speed button and crashed into a pedestrian that happened to be evil.

That epic battle between Phasma and Finn you've all been waiting for is here… Well too bad, floor collapses and she is trashed again. Sorry, your Phasma is a good villain will have to be found in another movie. Chink and Nigger escape on BB8 controlled chicken walker through an exploding enemy ship.

Snoke's stupid death face and his legs finally falling off. Not sure I wasn't suppose to find this funny but I did. The only cool First Order guy I don't remember the name of demanding to know what the hell happened. Kylo lying saying that Rey did it acting like he's the new ruler. Cool guy acting visibly upset that they have no ruler gets turned into bitch as Kylo reenacting Darth Vader force choke and makes him comply with his new ruler status and his order to follow those rebels. The only guy I liked in the First Order and it seems he got bitch statused for the rest of the film.

Following the nostalgia beats, the rebel base is very familiar to old fans so enjoy it while it last because it's about to be attacked. Finn and Chink rush in the ship they used to escape the exploding ship to barely make under the closing door. They get attacked but reveal themselves to show, they weren't just dicking around throughout the movie. They are a vital part of this story! First Order is closing in on them and have brought out AT-AT's and a new weapon, The Battering Ram Cannon which is a miniaturized Death Star technology. Why haven't they used this sooner? This seems more affordable than making Death Star 2.0. Not as destructive as blowing up a planet or several planets but could be a good siege weapon.

Rebel preparing fight against First Order and then getting to fight them. Nothing stupid overall. Just Chink admiring her sister's moon necklace or pendant. I think there was a brief Phasma appearance in a Tie fighter so she's not totally trashed from the movie.

i have to play the videos first. i right click without playing i dont get the save video option

it's also a 2011 model, so that should piss you off even more

what did they mean by this?

fuck you are dumb as shit. keep us updated. eventually you'll frustrate me into telling you.

Well, they did ruin his career from an actor standpoint. He didn't get multiple roles because the producers basically said "we don't want Skywalker in our movie". Pretty similar to Jason Alexander being George Costanza. All you can do is some Broadway shit. But no big screen.

im not retarded im ignorant. learn the difference moron

He was a white male, he's not allowed to be cool. You can either like the coal burning thot, the nigger sidekick, the spic pilot, the chink pilot, or if you're really edgy you can like the emo jew kylo ren.

You don't just throw away broken toys, you try to fix them first. If they can still function then you save them. If you can't recycle them that's when you throw them away.

Some feminist must have shclicjef their pussy to that scene so much

How many transports did she watch blow up as part of her plan before it occurred to her to just ram the fucker at warp 7? Seriously. That was a last minute improvisation. Her brilliant plan was "flee in a straight line until we run out of gas, and they know we'll do something desperate, then send out lifeboats on the assumption the enemy command is staffed by complete fucking retards".
On the other hand, it took Edgemaster McMercenary-Thief to explain to them that "they might try bailing out of their ship now that it's out of gas and can no longer stay out of your primary guns' range", so I guess the enemy command WAS staffed by complete fucking retards.

I thought the Resistance rendered itself obsolete when the Empire was overthrown and a galactic republic, or series of, sprang up in its absence. But there was a new resistance that claimed loyalty to the Empire but were really a bunch of larping cunts until they made a doomsday weapon EVEN BIGGER than the one that took literally the entire productive output of the fucking galactic empire. And then somehow the resistance got involved because… reasons?

I'm honestly not sure, I stopped really paying attention after episode 1.

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i said dumb, and stand by it. your inability to adapt to basic computer techniques in today's era is nothing short of astounding. you're more interesting than SW. retard.

I bet the same numale faggot who wrote that headline gets misty-eyed over Toy Story 2.

I think you're giving them entirely too much credit. I don't think they factored in different day-night cycles and the cosmic scale of relative time. I don't think anyone at the writer's table even knew that was a thing that actually happens. Chances are, they never really stopped to think that either the little space chase took several days, or Rey and luke hung out for a total of half a day before she fucked off and delivered herself to the bad guys.

He says they fucked up hard by little Darth Sidious start the Empire, make Vader, and destroy the Jedi.>>1016315
I wondered the same thing. I assumed that was her plan the moment they said someone has to stay behind.
Instead, she just casually cruised along while watching those unarmed, unshielded ships she was warned about, getting blown to pieces for several minutes.

"Some feminist must have shclicjef their vagenis to that scene so much"
fixed that for you

An ape escapes from Peking zoo and starts raping chink females.

sound familiar?

well, i suppose things would have been different if he had done drama work prior to star wars, but he only had like two roles before being luke, so it's basically the beginning and end for him.

Fucking lel.

What did they even do to C3PO's voice?
>snow salt planet
>even the part where c3po babbles something at a door, the door creaks, and r2d2 bb8 beeps about it
Wow, these subtle parallels are so clever amirite

Wait, what? They had her right on her death bed, and they're just going to keep cgi-ing her back to life?

I like the three running away from Rey as she turns her back to them.

Whoever choreographed that fight scene deserves AIDS.

basic computer is right clicking. whatever you're talking about takes at least some effort into learning. idk what you trying to tell me to do

My Mom took me and a friend to a Toys R Us Grand opening back in the 1980's. They had Daryl Strawberry there signing autographs. Back then baseball cards were still really big and Daryl hadn't been hit with all of the coke charges.

We were in the very back of a long ass grand opening line when all of a sudden the Daryl coke express signature limo rolls up. That gracious nigg started signing autographs in the back, so me and my buddy were some of the first to get signatures, and then everyone from the front of the line started to rush to the back to get an autograph. Well just at the same time, the doors to the store opened up so mom rushed us up to the front.

I guess that Toys R Us just cant compete with Amazon? I remember they had a massive selection of video games. An entire wall just full of console games. When we were good mom would take me and my brother to pick out a game.

hol up

so somehow rey has four guards pinned with her saber in the ground? and not one of them thinks to kick her?

Tin foil hat time. The reason we see Hamill with that freaked out horrified expression on his face, is he's just realised that due to CGI fuckery he is no longer even needed by Disney and they can just replace him in the following movies meaning he's completely expendable. They're also going to use his dead co-star to push more of this garbage in the following movies.

Poor hamill…

ffs retard, right-click on the filename above the video file and save as…

i was enjoying myself user

Holy shit that looks ridiculous, they just turn around and scuttle away from her.

Hello. To the moderator of this forum please see the DMCA request we've sent to this website's owner Jim. You are required to delete these videos. We will pursue charges if you do not delet this.

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i could read anymore of it, take it to private, maybe you can explain usenet to him

best part about this macfag being so retarded he doesn't realize the movie is on streaming sites so he doesn't even have to download the torrent or save all the webm clips.

doesnt work like that on a mac friendo. i get this pop up not a save one. i can open the file in another tab and do it that way but again it plays and does what i dont want it to do in later clips

im beginning to think I'm the genius in this thread and no one else is as smart as me

lol

it's on solarmovie but in spanish. it's not on primewire or movies123 yet. Seriously you guys are such fails compared to me and my knowledge I'm realizing

Not on LetMeWatchThis either

install linux you faggot

nice

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the best part is it's all because he doesn't want 1 second of each clip spoiled. macfag, you've made me happy.

didn't you ever learn that clicking on the filename downloads it?

im not that desperate

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You're dumb enough to buy a Mac though

it also just donned to me that they only put in the figures that were on the ship in esb and tfa, the two most reddit films of the entire series. fuck my ass.

kid gets an erection at the end, what does it meme!?!?

this is not a reasonable thing to make fun of me for

it opens it in another tab for me. unless you have different settings or something

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luke was depicted as young in his force projection, and the porgs appeal to the youth. chewbacca also discarded an already cooked playskool porg earlier. do the math. like all things JJ touches, it requires not a high IQ, just attention to what his intent is.

it means anybody can use the force without training because rules are for the old world and we're shattering the glass ceiling #imwithher

you're clicking on the wrong filename

This wan't made by JewJew though
Only the last one was done by him

But smart enough not to have linux

jewjew was a producer

WELL MEME'D

how is that not a reasonable thing to bully you about? just because we've already covered
a) you can't into streaming
b) you can't into d/l and playlist
c) you can't into d/l without open
doesn't exclude you from not being able to click fast enough to not spoil yourself. are you legit disabled? do you have to use your tongue or something to interact with the internet?

Fair enough

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I'm starting to change my mind on this film

It’s like Walt Disney all over again

At least I can say I haven't seen that trash Star Wars the Last Jedi. You already wasted 2 hours doing that. I'm LMAOing at your life. Thanks for giving me the high ground by not helping fag

oddly, it behaves nothing like the death star superlaser, but disney must require callbacks so the audience can feel intelligent in their moment of clarity as they recognize these basic references

we also already saw miniatured death star tech in attack of the clones, mounted to the republic gunships

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are you real

For the faggots that watched beyond the prequels:

Windowsfags have the muh gaymen excuse but there's no reason to use MacOS when you can just install Linux.

Stay mad, poorfag winnigger.

Macfags everyone

A plot device. Literally not a character.
The mary sue new protagonist, beats up Luke and hangs out with niggers.
Han Solo's Jewish son.
He doesn't, so they killed him off.

Too bad there's nothing you can do about the corporate heads being in one convenient spot, open to any assortment of purely legal and civil means of discourse that anyone could stomp into. I mean, it'd be horrible if such a well-intentioned impromptu discussion went sour. Absolutely horrible. Definitely nothing there to read into or that I'm suggesting beyond that. I'm just saying it would be god awful if something were to happen to those people at the hands of somebody who would be considered a champion of the west whose name would go down as legend in folk songs remembered for eons. That's be the worst.

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Snoke is some fetal alcohol ultimate supreme sith lord with no backstory who dies because his apprentice (whose mind he can read completely) slowly cuts him in half with a lightsaber that's next to him while he's reading his mind
Rey is a nobody who is everybody who wins at everything but Snoke. see above for context
Kylo is Han's faggot kid who is really awesome at shit, but also really sucks at shit. he's dark but also good.
Luke is a wangsty hobo who yearns to be good while doing nothing. He's very attached to the history while wanting to burn the history. This past is the Force and Jedi and shit. He cuts himself off from the Force, so that he can protect the Force. He dies from using the thing that binds everyone together and is basically life jesus sperm, the Force.

really simple shit

has anyone actually seen it? I thought the throne room set design was incredible, as well as the throne theme. Snoke's guards' armor was also really incredible. Whoever was responsible for designing those deserves to work on a much better film.

hmmmmmm I feel like anything he'd be /ourguy/ in STAH WAHS

Some old guy who was around to see the Empire fall and helped to get the remnants together to fuck shit up. In my headcanon, if you remember the brief shots in RotJ, Palpatine had a handful of personal friends that he rolled with. I assume he was one of them.
An orphaned junk trader who gets pulled into shenanigans and realizes she has the Force after Yoda 2.0 gives her Luke's lightsaber which somehow, SOMEHOW, survived the fall in Cloud City.
Han and Leia's kid. Snoke sold him some of the good shit, he ran off with some buddies after wrecking Luke's shit, and just scored an Imperial Remnant because his master was an overconfident grandpa who couldn't see shit.
Antihero pulled into the conflict because Rey followed a map that HE LEFT BEHIND despite NOT WANTING TO BE FOUND. And by "pulled into the conflict", read: he projects himself to mess with his nephew to the consequence of fuck all, and then dies to the consequence of absolutely fuck all.

How the fuck can anyone watch this? Bootlegs are already unwatchable as it is, but this is in portrait mode AND the nigger is in the back of the theater.

it's download (17) cause that's how duckduckgo downloads images. See despite what you think I do know a lot about the internet and how to at least keep my identity safe only by not using google.

Those were the only things that stood out to me. I was only half-watching while doing other things, but still took notice whenever they were in that room.

we got us a CIAnigger boys

They could have brought back Zann consortium. How amazing would that have been?

Supposedly a fucking mobile game made the Zann Consortium canon again. Not like they're going to do anything with it.

All right, I'm getting it. Who is the nigger and what's his significance?

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If you seriously have an issue with this, why don't you buy a ticket and see the movie, or wait until someone uploads the blu ray online instead of bitching.
Meanwhile, we're fine with this considering this film has only been out for a few days and this is free.

maybe you should stop watching so much TV and educate yourself

I intend to wait.

hmmmmm

so how did this relate to trump? Was snoke supposed to be trump? I mean this was for sjws so how could they not have an obvious trump reference?

just sad the creativity there was largely just bottlenecked by Snoke. Those scenes would really be something even with Kylo Ren and Rey if the emperor had the intimidation to match, like a Caligula. Someone terrifyingly unnerving or just with a demigod-like presence.

Trump was just some guy that was never going to win the primary when TFA came out so I dont follow…

lmfao rip charlie rose

Snoke sounds like he belongs in the Harry Potter universe. What a pathetic name for a "supreme leader"

duckduckgo doesnt track you. maybe you should learn

lol

Believe it or not, despite the Remnant being able to afford a Death Star 3.0 Mega Deluxe and Snoke's giant space triangle, they didn't have the cash to go back to their cloning roots. Instead, to fill in the ranks, they literally stole babies and raised them to be hate machine. Now, however old Finn is, they've been at this for that long. I don't understand how that works, personally. You'd think there'd be a general uprising or easy infiltration of the New Republic/Resistence on a population of people having their babies stolen for decades, but whatever. You'd also think that maybe there'd be a higher turn-out rate for traitors, but fuck you, who cares?! Finn isn't even a real fighter, he's a fucking janitor who also happens to be in a soldier's outfit, sent out to murder civilians, took exception to it, fell in love with Poe but retconned because pissing off the Chinese because why the fuck not, and then bailed to join the people he was raised to hate, killing how many hundreds or thousands of his friends and brothers on the way. Outside of that, significance? I don't know, he went to a casino world for some reason. I'm confused why that happened. Then he almost sacrificed himself for some reason. The next movie, who knows??? MYSTERY BOX

I don't even want to know the pension plan deficit they must be running…

there's a similar ocurence when rey is swinging her light saber around that rock. it boggles my mind that a professional director and editors could miss those

How do they convince people to join the Empire? Kidnapping and brainwashing only goes so far, you need whole swaths of resources maintained by whole swaths of people who feel like you're a winning horse and morally right in some way. In the last movie, the soldiers did their little nazi speech thing, which I guess was suppose to allude to something, but what? Logistically, how does the Remnant function? Where are the millions and billions of loyal supporters and what is keeping them loyal to the Empire?

E;R is going to have a field day with this if he ever gets off his ass and actually makes some new videos

there's no evidence directly that he is jewish, just that he was on a show with jews.

I actually enjoyed the first act. but then it turned into complete shit when it decided it needed to turn into a quip-fest like every other MCU movie

Chink is about to get killed when Finn comes in and saves her by doing a fucking 3-kill streak with one shot on lined up tie-fighters. I bet Finn no-scoped that shit with those gamer skills he acquired as a stormtrooper. In case you forgot about porgs, they are here to screech for you with Chewie as Rey helps out the fight in her Millennium Falcon. The battle ram cannon is charging up and everyone is told fall back but Finn is making his move. Will he make the ultimate sacrifice by ignoring his order from his bromance with Poe?

And this is the reason why this Chink is around (whose name was apparently Rose since I heard it clearly here). She existed to save Finn from actually being useful, to sacrifice his life to stop the Battering Ram Cannon. He even had the dramatic music and that defining look of resolve moment I was talking about before but it was denied by a selfish bitch who only fell in love with him because they met for some hours and had a wacky mission together. I guess saving that one life was more important than the rest of the resistance from destruction.

Why not kiss when the fucking doors to your rebel base is being destroyed why don't you. No allies are coming to help even though the signal was sent but look who shows up which is better than allied reinforcements. It's Hologram Skywalker come here to save the day. A touching reunion for Luke and Leia, mostly because of the actor and actress behind them and the real life death situation.

Leia laments that his son is gone but Luke assures her that he isn't, I guess being a turnaround on his original opinion after that Rey scene from earlier. Now it's time for Luke to face Kylo. Kylo orders to stop his attack when Luke appears only to vehemently start it again. Kind of a pointless there to stop to start attacking again. ATAT's should have kept moving and when Luke appears, their attack directed at the base is turned toward Luke by Kylo's orders. Would make more sense. Holo Luke survives the barrage. The only person with any logical sense in the film gets bitched slapped again into a wall so that Kylo could have whiney little battle with his master. Eternal bitch status confirmed for only cool guy in the movie.

Time for a man-to-man fight with Kylo and Luke and it's starting really look like a samurai movie. Oh, so this was the reason that triggered-admiral died. It's so that Poe can learn and realize that Luke is playing the distraction so that they could escape. Now here's a use for animals that makes sense in the movie. The crystal critters that were roaming about have suddenly disappeared and the last remaining one is use to lead them toward an exit. Much better than fucking porg-vertising they are in the movie as visual window dressing. But they get stuck as there are a bunch of rocks in the way. Hey, Leia, why don't you use the force since you have that power supposedly?

Here's that stupid scene that you've probably seen before watching the whole movie. Matrix dodge in 2017. Very relevant. "I will not be the Last Jedi" title drop. Not much of a fight but there was good or more like bad reason for that.

Luke was just projecting himself across some planet all along! I would have accepted that he was actually there and he was deflecting the lightsaber with his force armor than this revelation. Rey finds the remnants of the rebels and opens up the poorly floating cgi rocks so they can make their escape. Maybe it will look better once we have an actual screengrab but the way it moves was less than convincing that I doubt it. The wire work on Rey I'm assuming with that Snoke meeting was more convincing.

Luke prat falls and looks into the sunset, which I'm guessing is suppose to be reminiscent of how he started out before his journey in the original. He looks slightly constipated looking at the sun and just fades. I'm not sure how this fade thing is suppose to work but him projecting himself as a distraction that he dies from it is an even weaker death than triggered-admiral, even with a better death moment with the sun setting. Well, everything was his fault supposedly so he might as well kill himself. Kylo gets into the base and finds no rebels and we get that force communication without that bridging help by Snoke with Rey as she leaves with the people on board. Can he see her now or just feel her general direction like a terrible GPS?

Poe finally introduces himself to Rey. Oh, that was a plot point that Finn took over when Poe supposedly died in TFA. Final talks with Leia with Rey and the half broken lightsaber in hand wondering how they'll rebuild the rebellion from this.

Then we go back to that stable for some odd reason, where the casino scene happened to those 3 kids before playing with Fusilli Luke toy and get raged at by alien owner to do their job. One kid, the one who didn't trigger the alarm looks off into the distant in a Rey-like pose with a broom at the stars brimming with "Episode IX A New Hope" and it ends there. They even show off that rebel decoder ring he is now wearing and it ends there. Leia is still alive in this movie for now and also that Chink girl is still alive apparently. She's resting like Finn used to.

I had little hope with how blockbuster bland TFA was but this was just a mess that I don't know if anyone who directors this now know what Star Wars is. They try to blend the old with the new and the new stuff stands out in how dumb it can be under the Disney reigns. If this doesn't solidify how bad nu-Star Wars is to normalfags, I don't know what will.

Only the first 3 parts are in portrait mode and the quality of the film matches the quality of the bootleg.

A good TLJ review please I want to see it trashed

t. Germany 1944
You answered your own question tbh

them damn moon nazis and their moon laser arrays

not sure if stupid or trolling

t. riggered Holla Forumsyps

Don't be a baka, user-kun.

L O L

UU

oh… sweetie… you can't play here… not anymore…

If anything you just proved who is in charge here. We seized the means of reproduction and redistributed it to the Holla Forumsetariat.

What is it with commies and drawing autistic art btw?

You mean talent? It's something you get when you have at least two braincells to rub together.

wow, that set looks like hot shit. i'd rather grab an older one off ebay.

it was trash and you're trash

i think i figured out the answer to this in a previous thread. the first order is made up of half empire remnants and loyalists, and half newcomers. they have the resources for cloning but for some reason decided against it, despite definitely being cheaper and easier than kidnapping and brainwashing, since people like finn are apparently able to break conditioning after their first time in a firefight, whereas clones can be literally programmed to be mindless slaves. my guess is that line in tfa was more of taking a shot at the prequels than trying to give some legitimate reason as to not using a droid or clone army.

Keti a Cutie

I'm positive that the hack writers got the idea for Rey and Kylo's telephone scenes from Harry and Voldemort

Uh huh.

I can never tell if Holla Forums really made these or if someone else did it to make fun of them.

I just assumed that red wall background was unfinished CGI in the trailer or something, wtf is that the best they could do for the release. Where was this throne room, on that giant triangle or what?

2nd pic got colored

UUUU

yup, snoke's ship was basically the executor and ds2 rolled into one.

Wew

Aw m8, you're a peach.

I wonder how the creator went on to rectify that drawing when McCain turned out to be one of the largest anti-Drumpf personalities.

I think the purpose of that scene was to clarify that they were not on a snow planet. to try to prevent viewers from comparing it to Hoth (even though the battle looks a lot like the battle of Hoth, and the base looks exactly like the Hoth base)

So why the red walls and not a glimpse into space, because no pretty rebel fleet space battle outside to watch?

Before I sat down and actually watched this in entirety, that's what I actually thought was going on.

Did the giant pizza deathstar thing blow up? Are the rebels finally going to get their own shit superweapon, except it is somehow invincible?

deadline.com/2017/12/star-wars-the-last-jedi-rian-johnson-ram-bergman-interview-spoilers-deleted-scenes-lucasfilm-plans-1202227741/
archive.is/xPBFx

Snoke finally is in a movie and he cannot even survive to the end. At least the Emperor survived multiple movies.

it was alright, but "incredible" is giving it far too much credit

lol. you may be retarded

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At least get a general understand of history before you embarrass yourself further.

I thought the scene in Emperor Smoke's throne room was the climax and the movie was about to end. What was the actual climax again? Kylie Renogue swiping at holo-Luke?

Obviously the climax was the porgs! xxDDD
#climaxforporgs
#porgmedaddy
#maytheporgbewithjew

Pathetic. The least they could do is add some new music and not just the same theme over and over and over again.

Who wants to bet the deleted scenes are put in the next film

jew jew would be too vein for that

You've gotta be a real hack to not edit everything yourself.
Every great director edits their own shit, or they fail because of it.

V A I N

it's worse. he had some magical smoke mirror crystal ball thing to do that.

clearly whoever edited this movie was high off his ass.

i haven't listened to the soundtrack but from what i vaguely remember the music felt more star wars-y this time, and not like tfa's score. the only returning cues i remember are rey's theme, kylo's motif, resistance march, and the old dogfighting music.

this. george was an editing nazi on 1-6.

VAIN?

Aye.

That's not a very big answer.

Only Star Wars could get away with cutting out Prince William (the future king of UK) and Prince Harry from the final cut.

The best part is that catgirl is the fat tranny BO of Holla Forums's avatar and he honestly believes he looks like that and he probably gets off to the BCC.

UUUU

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Post your face when you know you could have written a better film

The casino area doesn't appear particularly flashy. I thought the galaxy is sufficiently large that there are numerous planets in the ultra-wealthy category, numerous planets in the ultra-impoverished category, and no singular explanation to explain the imbalances everywhere. Unless there was supposed to be some galactic economic upset after Coruscant's destruction, or if the entire planet's a luxury casino, then maybe they could say that wealth is more concentrated now than previously. Real estate in Naboo is probably worth more.

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I could just plagiarize the crap out of EU stories and it would have been superior.

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The EU is dead you entitled man child looool. Stop playing with children's toys and buy new legos.
We killed the EU forever, stupid. Except Thrawn and stuff, but we did that because ____

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I wanted to cry after watching this, no joke. Yoda's scene alone was like a gigantic FUCK YOU to all fans of the original movies.

Hell, I would have even targeted eufags openly and marketed it as a sort of "resolution" to all the conflicting EU universes.

And yet we have shills on this board defending this crap as we speak. What a fucking heartbreak. I've been saying it since the beginning, nothing good would come of Disney buying the franchise. But normalfags just had to bitch about the prequels and Lucas all the times. .

Honestly it would've worked. That shitty Clone Wars season with Thrawn was what kept that shitshow from dying before they realized they were turning the character into the next Dr. Claw. It was Grievous all over again.

Did I miss something special that allowed pink hair to ram the star destroyer or could they have done the same thing to the death star?

so how much porn exists of that titty alien yet

Yup, they are paid disney pajeets. This is probably this is their last stop in trying to do damage control… wonder how bad their shilling is in more mainstream/popular normalfag places

Everyone knew this JRR Tolkien & others protected their work so that Disney never got their hands on it although his retarded son might have fucked that up…. Disney was a known destroyer even before it was taken over completely by jews.

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wait what the fuck I know that island it's a few miles off the coast from where I live
celtic monks used to live there

saved and will shamelessly repost

Canon doesn't mean jack to Disney assholes. Even their new shit is full of inconsistencies with itself at times. Mostly the shit related to that mobile game and Clone Wars.

I'm betting you right now that the Disney hacks are recycling the "Daughter" and "Son" concepts from Clone Wars who were the avatars of both sides of the force. These two shits will be 100% mary sue-ish shit and "force siblings".

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Where do I sign?

None that I can find.

you didn't even attempt to commandeer Vaporwave, retards. /bmw/ has really gone downhill.

I'd be surprised if that place is not haunted now.

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And they just fucking glued ugly titty monsters all over the damn place. Only thing more shameful is the fact that a part of this monster piece of a film had to be made there.

I think I would have made the entire trilogy with old Luke as the hero.

FUCKING GORILLAS WITH SIGN LANGUAGE AND TYPEWRITERS COULD WRITE BETTER MOVIES

You say that jokingly but remember that Koko had an IQ of 85
So you're actually right

But he's an old male and not what women audiences want to see. TLJ was fine the way it is you whiny baby… Oh fuck it hurt me to write this. I'm sorry. Kennedy and higher ups said a lot of Disney employees would get a huge Christmas bonus if this movie did "beyond well"

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the island's name is sceilig mhór but it's usually called skellig michael in english because the monks there worshipped archangel michael
archangel michael is said to lead god's army against the forces of darkness
I wonder if it was picked for that exact reason, just to piss on the extinct community's memory

I'm not joking. I know full well Koko could fucking do a better job than Kennedy, Abrams or anyone else at Disney.

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Just like how they pissed on the memory of old Star Wars and old fans. Like some hideous and evil pottery.

Who cares what women think?

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This bitch.

Don't know how I fucked that up but oh well.

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Seen this for awhile, but why is KK the only one wearing a black shirt? Pretty racist tbh fam.

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You gotta pay extra for that. Normalfags do it for free.

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Who?

Who?

Mark Hamill is on record as saying every single character decision for Luke was wrong. The writing in this movie is so mind-bogglingly stupid it defies description.

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Really makes you think.

She can fetch my coffee and 18 year old supermodel of the day every morning to blow me while I shoot my Old Luke Kinopiece.

The Mouse will come for their souls.

Gosh, do you guys remember the good ol' days before the short-pack niggatry began?

Nice LARP, but you gave yourself away.

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This has probably been addressed, elsewhere, but has anyone noticed how Glorious Leader (or whatever it is) sounds like a communist title?

I wonder what they would have said if they knew that in the future after a teutonic madman tried to save Europe a bunch of satanic kikes took over and filmed their filth on their island.

I want to forget about disney starwars, this has been the most soul crushing decade. What are some old starwars books and games I could read/play, something that's good enough to get me to forget this mess

Kathleen Kennedy. The new head of Star Wars and the embodiment of everything wrong with Disney.

About damn time.

>>>/sw/ has some recommendations and lists apparently. The BO there gives info.

it seems there aren't enough of us who saw this coming.

vid related

not surprising since the film attempts to take a jab at capitalism with muh war profiteers

awesome, didnt know that board existed, I'll check it out, thanks user

It's really jarring how they keep trying to recreate iconic moments and scenarios from the OT but without any of the context and character motivations that made those moments memorable in the first place.

We understand why Luke hands himself over to Vader in episode VI; he's his father, he sensed the conflict within him when they fought and he knows he's not beyond redemption.
Luke's victory over Vader and subsequent rejection of the Dark Side is also arguably his strongest character defining moment considering how many times Kenobi and Woda stress the importance of resisting its allure.

Why does Rey decide to surrender to Kylo?
They're not related, they actively hate each other. What's the logic behind this?
Because they touched hands earlier in the film… and she saw his future somehow?
Wasn't she learning what the force was something like 5 or 6 hours before that?
I guess the force is a glorified plot device now.
And are we supposed to feel like there's any sort of possibility Rey will turn when Kylo makes the offer? She'd need to be a proper character instead of a shallow self-insert for that to happen.
It's all just so poorly written and contrived.

And it's a good thing she awkwardly swung Luke's lightsaber around for a little bit that one morning otherwise taking on Snoke's super duper elite guards might have been a problem.

None of this makes any sense.

Thanks OP. Was utter dogshit but can’t beat the price.

Yeah good Job OP>>1014561

Thanks op, may the Swartz be with you.

I can't get over how fucking unattractive/retarded Kylo looks, did someone really looked him over and said "yeah, this should totally be the next big villain on our hugely successful franchise"?

What is this, Star Trek? Fuel's never been an issue before for ships that size. I'm not sure if it's ever been an issue in Wars, period. I thought they were sufficiently advanced that most ships have virtually unlimited fuel. The only reason you can't just to light immediately would be calculation difficulties. If you need to lose a fleet then you just dive into an asteroid field, duyh. No need to infiltrate the enemy flag.

He seriously looks like a joke character who gets killed off by the real villain after failing him in the intro or something.

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No one at disney bothered watching the OT.

at best he should be cast as a creepy janitor guy that turns out to be a mentally unstable serial killer. Not a "powerful villain".

jewish genetics at work.

That lady with the neck has no screen presence. And Leia's just being an idiot, too.

I would think a one-sided battle in Wars wouldn't last longer than a half hour. Unless the First Order was purposely dragging it out. And with the rebel flagship neglecting to return fire or deploy fighters, it should be over relatively quickly, there's no reason they would be in pursuit for all this time. Plus, with the unarmed escape vessels, they wouldn't need to snipe them off one by one, except for drama purposes. Just fire a torpedo into the center of the ships. It's incredibly frustrating with the whole movie essentially depicting a singular star battle, and the entire battle is basically one single maneuver. Waterloo this is not.

Wyatt was a fucking prophet.

Is. I think he was around either Stormfront or Daily Stormer a few months ago.

c'mon fam, these are the same people who think projectiles would arc in space.

I think the mp4's got DMCA'd
Does anyone have backups?

they're still there

i liked it tbh

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oh hey you're right
just low on ram, had to close some programs in the background

For being able to watch it For Free™ it was a solid 3/10

No
Yes

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I knew they were gonna tear down Luke, knew they were gonna kill him. But didn't guess they were gonna have him suicide. Bravo.

see

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I am disdain made manifest.

Hold up!
What if that isn't milk? What if that's actual a type of poison? And, Luke knows that he's being suckered into some quest that's going to destroy his character? So, he drinks it at the beginning, before his "conscious" gets the better of him, and then dies at the end of the film because the poison has run it's course?

Finn and Poe are the only ones who has any goddamn common sense.

spotted the mouse shill, fuck off

Why the fuck didn't they tell Poe that there was a planet that they were going to sneak on to when the engines go out?
Even then, Poe was the only who had any fucking common sense to sneak into the base, deactivate the tracking device, so that they can light speed somewhere with most of their men and equipment intact.
Now literally their entire fucking rebel army is fucking destroyed, they have no equipment, and Luke Skywalker is dead because of these fucking morons.

I wait with baited breath for the bluray so that I can rip this into a better quality webm.

I'm sure they have allies in the Outer Rim™ despite the First Order apparently controlling all of the galaxy even though a couple years before the movie they were the remnants of the empire and the rebels now barely enough to fill a ship were the galaxy-controlling New Republic…

So how would you guys rank all the Star Wars films from best to worst? This one fucking sucked and is my least favorite of the franchise.

The Empire Strikes Back > A New Hope > Return of the Jedi > Revenge of the Sith > Rogue One > The Phantom Menace > The Force Awakens > Attack of the Clones > The Last Jedi

i'm pissed at this as well. i was perfectly fine with finn sacrificing himself to keep the first order from breaking through. it would have completed his arc, but nope, ching chong dik me gud has to fuck everything up.

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2 > 5 > 3 > 4 > 6 > CW > 1 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 7 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> 8

The Empire Strikes Back > A New Hope > Return of the Jedi > Revenge of the Sith > Rogue One > The Phantom Menace > Attack of the Clones > The Force Awakens > The Last Jedi

Even Attack of the Clones had more coherent writing than this and the sand scene wasn't nearly as cringe as some of the things in this piece of shit.

Lotr > The Hobbit > SW

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4>5>3>6>1=2>non-disney spinoffs>RO>TFA>every genocide in world history>the biggest pile of shit on the planet>trump's balls>TLJ

i don't give the disney films numbers because they don't deserve them. the fucking supershadow scripts were better than this pile of shit. the stupid avatar ripoff was better than this.

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Her sister in the film was hot btw
Mustve suck being the ugly sister.

>>>/reddit/ Is that way

umm, racism???

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the resemblance is fucking uncanny.

I don't really remember Attack of the Clones all that much. It's been years since I've watched it. I just know that it was kind of stupid. It probably is better than TFA, though I wouldn't know. I do like the story in the prequels much more than the new trilogy and even the original, but it was just executed poorly.

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I want to smack this purple haired bitch. How an they make a character so unintentionally irritating?