Judge Frees Terrorist-in-Training Because Whiteness Is a Helluva Alibi
Even though the man was a member of one of the most dangerous terror communities in the country; despite the fact that he knew how to make bombs; with the knowledge that he was in possession of bomb-making materials; even after he exhibited every single trait of what law-enforcement officers, Homeland Security experts and Army investigators describe as “America’s biggest threat to national security”—a federal judge released neo-Nazi Brandon Russell on bond Friday, because the judge says that he saw no evidence that Russell was a danger to anyone.
But mostly because Russell was white.
I do not have a desire to be white. It looks too constraining, the food is too mayonnaise- and mustard-based, and I have grown fond of clapping on the beat. However, after looking at cases like the saga of Brandon Russell, even though I am a proud, unapologetic man of African descent, I am comfortable enough in my blackness to admit one thing:
Being white must be amazing!
According to NBC News, Russell was living in white supremacist utopia with three fellow neofascist members of the Army National Guard (because, for whatever reason, if they aren’t living in their mother’s basement—white nationalists always have roommates) when one of his homeboys, Devon Arthur, went apeshit crazy.
Arthur held three people hostage in a Tampa, Fla., smoke shop (yeah, that’s another thing about neo-Nazis: They vape a lot) and announced that he had converted to Islam and killed two of his roommates, claiming that his victims were white supremacists who were planning to go on a killing and bombing spree.
While this story might already seem nuts to most people (including the part about a nonblack guy named Devon), it is pretty routine for white people in Florida. But don’t worry, it gets more interesting—even on the Sunshine State’s Caucasian scale of craziness.
Russell, the surviving roommate who wasn’t killed in the prevape store slaughter by the Nazi-turned-Muslim part-time soldier, received a visit from police because cops are usually forced to follow up on leads from Army Nazi double murderers who reveal terrorist plots. It’s kind of their thing.
When a law-enforcement officer contacted Russell … you know what? It is difficult for me to construct a paragraph containing all of the dangerous, crazy paraphernalia in Russell’s possession. So here is a list:
A cooler containing a “white, cakelike substance.” It turned out to be HMTD (no, not the shitty Android phone or the web programming language)—a highly explosive chemical that law-enforcement officers call “the new weapon of choice” among terrorists;
A framed photograph of Timothy McVeigh, who killed 168 people in the 1995 Oklahoma City bombing;
A copy of The Turner Diaries, and other white supremacist literature;
Electric matches, fuses and other bomb-detonating devices;
A copy of Hitler’s autobiography, Mein Kampf.
During the interview, Russell also admitted that he had organized his own neo-Nazi group, named “Atomic Wooten,” which is German for “atomic weapon.”
So, of course, you know what happened next:
Police took note of all this dangerous, extremist evidence, in conjunction with the testimony of Arthur’s statement that Russell was planning to “bomb infrastructure,” and then did what any police in America would do: They said “Aight, bruh,” and left Russell alone.
This is why it must be so lovely being white!
First of all, where do you even get white-cake explosive powder? Is there a secret Caucasian supermarket that sells stuff white people buy? Because in conducting our own scientific research, The Root staff could not recall a “white terrorist” section in Books-a-Million or Barnes & Noble. (And we looked everywhere. There was a young-adult section, classic literature and even the section that sells Caucasian cookbooks that require people of color to double all the seasoning ingredients—but we could not find The Turner Diaries or even the Cliffs Notes to Mein Kampf.)
And how is it that no one alerted authorities when Russell showed up at Hobby Lobby with a photo of terrorist McVeigh and a coupon for half-off framing? It’s the same reason that no one skips social studies class even when a white guy comes to homeroom wearing a black trench coat in June—because whiteness is never associated with danger. They are usually off their meds or have played too many video games. They’re just “troubled,” at most.
But mostly, they’re just white.
The Washington Post reports that as soon as the cops left, Russell went to the gun store and bought a cache of hunting weapons because that’s what crazy, Nazi bomb-makers do to wind down after a long day of police interrogation.
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