Choose your weapon(s)

choose your weapon(s)

specifics:
you have 2 hands, and neither is big enough to wield a 2-hander by itself
speed is measured in seconds, lower is faster
there is no offhand damage penalty
armor reduces damage taken by a percentage, rather than a flat amount
blocking reduces damage taken by 90% after armor and only happens sometimes
all weapon-using abilities also hit with the offhand(if applicable) with whatever damage multiplier the main hand gets(if any) whenever it hits with the main hand
there are no exclusively two-handed or dual-wielding or one-handed or dagger weapon abilities, for the sake of simplicity
all weapon-using abilities' cooldowns are multiplied by(main hand weapon speed+offhand weapon speed)
all weapon-using abilities are on their own "global" cooldown separate from that of other abilities, and that weapon ability "global" cooldown is also multiplied by (main hand weapon speed+offhand weapon speed)

the amount of armor had by the enemies you'd be fighting can vary wildly between enemies as some may be cloth-wearing mages and some may be warriors in full plate armor with a shield, but no enemy is going to exceed 75% damage reduction from armor; no further information of that sort will be given

except that you dont know how many enemies are going to be wearing full plate with a shield(or lesser armor) and you dont know how many are just going to wear cloth(or more armor)

Two handing the 100-150 weapon does the most DPS on average of all of them.
(considering that 1.4 speed = 1.4 attack per 1.4second, 4 speed = 1 attack per 4 seconds)

I choose to switch all of them on the fly for crazy combos

The magic sword is OBVIOUSLY the best choice

It ignores armour and does a fair a mount of damage, so the damage will always be consistent

I would pick the big sword IF the damage gap was way smaller, that damage gap is just too hard to make it worthwhile, ergo making it the worst out of the bunch

The magic one.

I choose the third sword because I like traditional one handed swords

The choice between different swords would matter if the armor system reduced damage by a flat amount rather than a percentage. As it is now, all the weapons are the same except for the magic sword which is superior.

but you don't know how much arcane resistance the opponents have

but not many enemies are gonna have arcane resistance

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We also don't know how prevelant good armor is.
Is this a low-magic low-tech world where everything is made of wood and leather and these swords are ancient artifacts the hero can choose between?
Or is it a high-tech setting with laser pistols and the spirit who is supposed to equip the hero is a little behind the times?

Easy, I take the crit dagger and the magic sword. Between the two of them, I should melt right through every enemy.

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So it will shatter on hitting anything.

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No user, stanless steel. It's completely different.

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Fuck your gayass weapons OP

Time Sword. Chronomancy is the shit.

How do I get me a sword dogger?

You're all plebs.

If you don't pick Sword Dogger you are a nigger.

I was expecting a tougher problem, OP. But I see you have some measure of statiscian knowledge on you seeing those are some fishy numbers with nice odd results…

For the record, you did not specify neither the chance for critical hits or the odds of blocking.
I assumed a crit chance of 5% and blocking to be redundant due to the numbers I got.

Also of note, the first weapon's bonus is essentially just an increase of 25% over it's normal damage. Every 4 attacks, 3 will normal and the 4th will be double, meaning 5 times the damage over 4 attacks.

Short answer is, every weapon except for the purple dildo is equally viable for low armor enemies but shortly before the 50% reduction, the purple dildo becomes the best weapon.
Oddly enough, it does not matter what 1-h weapon you pick, they all average on the same DPS, the first one will just look more RNG dependant.

Values in the sheet show the base damage for each weapon as well as the assumed values and their raw potential for damage. In the lines below I have 4 hypothetical situations with no armor, 10%, 50% and 75%. With any combination of weapons, you'll get 100, 90, 50 and 25 done in each case, except with the dragon dildo that's a flat 75 damage.
The cuttoff point is at 25% armor where all weapons will do the same 75 damage, from that point onward, better stick to the kinky stuff.

I did not factor blocking since you did not gave me odds and I can't assume it's 5% with it, it's not the same thing. However, since the Dragon Dildo's flavour text does not mention blocking, just "armor damage resistance", it applies equally to every weapon.
Quite possibly not, since it applies every HIT so faster weapons will have greater odds of being blocked, but unless I get a probability either, I can't factor it.

DID SOMEONE SAY SWORDS?

Reported for posting copyrighted content.

My hands might be small but my arms arent, so i just tape a twohander to each and go full Baraka
shit OP tbh

fug

Sign me up for that fucking Sword Dogger

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Whatever has least fucking RNG.

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*note: sword may spontaneously stop existing once outside of the Reality Marble. They are sold as-is without warranty.
Emiya Kikeworks accepts no refunds.

It really is
all the big bads from part 3 to 6 had time related abilities.

Nice thumbnail.

THE DARK LORD SPEAKETH

Can I dual-wield the Shitpost Sword and the Autism Mace?

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If you don't instapick Sword Dogger you need to rethink everything in your life that's led to this point

This is how real life works:
Longsword - Can kill anyone with one hit, can be used with a shield
Claymore - Can kill anyone with one hit, longer (nearly twice as long), slower recovery
Dagger - Can kill anyone with one hit, shorter, faster recovery, can use with a shield

That's how weapon balance works. People in ancient Sumeria weren't contemplating using weapon A or weapon B based on their "DPS" and "CRIT" abilities, they used weapon A because it let them use a shield, or weapon B because it could smash a shield and was long enough to strike a mortal blow from out of reach of the other weapon.

Well why even fucking bother then

But if I don't pick him, then maybe he'll appear in the sequel.

I choose all of them:


It's stanless steel goddammit.

>Domesticated Snuggling Barker with a sword
Aw yes nigga sign me the fuck up

That webm is awful.

that dog bed however, is probably one of the best things I've ever seen

My dog has a hotdog chew toy, but I've never seen a hotdog bed.

There's only one place you could have gotten that webm, you filthy fucking traitor.

Which begs the question, why does no game attempt to make sword combat actually decent and realistic.
Instead of being some emo shit where 2 guys stand in front of each other slashing away and seeing who runs out of HP first, it would be mainly about dodging and parrying since a single hit could put you at critical health.

The closer I've seen to this is probably GURPS where you roll to attack someone and then he rolls for defense, choosing between Parrying, Dodging and Blocking (with a shield). If your attack fails or he defends, it never connects. However, when a weapon deals 1d8 of damage to characters where the average HP is 10 (or 20, I forgot), being struck once seriously fucks you up, especially since taking more than 1/3 of your HP may even make you faint on a failed roll to resist it from the pain.

See, you now know the true top tier of dog beds.

My trips confirm that you post on Tumblr. These dubs will reinforce it.

This reeks of Tumblr trying to fit in

If skills have a significant amount of base damage or some other sort of ability (perhaps you have an ability that gives you a short buff that lasts for a shorter time than the cooldown of the ability) that does not care about how much weapon damage you do then, then you want the fastest weapons possible. You'll still get the same DPS from the weapon damage portion of your abilities but will be able to get out the base damage more frequently. So two of the smallest weapons would likely be the best choice of the physical damage weapons, though if base ability damage is crazy high then you would eventually want to just use only one of the one handed weapons.

It's pointless to discuss the differences between the magic sword and the others, especially since enemies could have magic resistance.

Critical chance also applies every hit, but you didn't have any problems looking at that. Just like a faster weapon will crit for less, a faster weapon will lose less damage when it is blocked.

I did not take it into account because no odds of blocking were given and this is something you can't simply assume.
Critical Chance is often 5% flat value plus whatever bonus you get, from the old d20 system where only a 20 (with 5% chances of happening) gave you a Critical Hit.
Thus, I can assume a value here and work with that.

In any case, criticals are just another damage bonus. Again, assuming a crit chance of 5%, and double damage on crits, that just means that every 100 attacks, 95 will deal regular damage while 5 will deal double the damage, which amounts to an increase of 5% in damage (105 damage every 100 attacks). By OP's ruleset, the multiplier is just 1,5X so that's only 2,5% increase in the overall damage.

The difference with blocking here is that you can apply these corrections to the damage the weapon deals previously to calculating for armor reduction while blocking doesn't have that luxury since no odds were given.
If you wanted to take into account blocking, you could just multiply the odds of blocking by 0,1 (the remaining damage after reduction) and only then apply speed, I guess.

Except it strikes more often, having more oportunities to be blocked more often. This essentially means, over all it doesn't matter. The shield will have precisely the same effect on all weapons.

Let's assume 2 swords, one strikes twice per second (0,5 speed) for 10 damage, the other once per second (1 speed) for 20 damage. Same DPS.
Let's assume there's 50% chance of blocking for 3/4 the damage.

The real damage for the faster sword is ((10 * 0,5 * 0,25) + (10 * 0,5 * 1)) /0,5 = 12,5
The real damage for the slower sword is ((20 * 0,5 * 0,25) + (20 * 0,5 * 1))/1 = 12,5

This really shouldn't be a surprise since it's factors and multiplications, you can freely change their order and still get the same results. The shield itself makes no difference whatsoever. You could change the odds of blocking, you could change the amount of damage blocked. It will affect all weapons equally and they'll still deal the same damage relatively to one another.

Also, for a funny example, go look up Shotguns in Starbound.
The way the game handled projectiles and armor was that they reduced damage done by each projectile with the armor of the target BY A FLAT AMOUNT. However, shotguns were made to shoot many pellets with low damage each. The result was that the armor was applied to every single one of them resulting in a much higher damage reduction than was expected, because Tyi sucks at basic math.

Basically, if you had a rifle that dealt 40 damage with a single shot and 4 damage reduction, it would deal 36 damage.
However a shotgun with the same 40 damage but that fired 8 pellets, would only do 5 damage each, to amount for the 40 total damage.
But if you apply the damage reduction to the shotgun, that's 8 * 4 = 32 so the shotgun would only deal 8 damage. Despite both saying 40 on their stats.

I got it from Holla Forums. I'm not going to stop posting it, either, because the alternative is trying to track down the copypasta and then saving it, and God knows that the emoji will get mangled somehow. What are you so paranoid of?
Oh, gotcha, okay.

That rule, believe it or not, actually came from Dungeons & Dragons first. It's a variant rule and always has been, although instead of 1/3, they do it if you take more than 1/2 of your HP in a single attack.

I imagine that 4th and 5th edition did away with said rule, since Hasbro is garbage tier and fucks up anything it touches gaming wise.

Oh also D&D has another variant rule where if you take more than 50 HP in damage in a single strike, you have to roll a Fortitude saving throw or die from the trauma.

Which are often ignored for the sake of simplicity and because nobody wants to just faint from a bad roll, the damage is penalty enough. I recall it was present in the 3.5 Edition, no longer in the next ones.
GURPS however seems more focused on accurate simulation of a lot of crap, so it makes more sense that it's not just a variant rule there.

I was actually surprised when I started to compare the concept of "sneak attack" between both systems.
In DnD, your oponent gets the flat footed penalty (no DEX bonus for AC), you get +2 to hit for combat advantage over him and if you're a rogue, you get aditional d6 dies based on your level.

In GURPS instead, your oponent doesn't get to roll for any defense at all, but since you can "aim" first and get a nice bonus to your hit roll, you can instead choose to take a penalty and aim for specific body parts, like -7 to hit the head. In case you hit, you reduce the damage based on the armor but then you get a multiplier based on location, and possibly some other effect. Aiming for the head quadruples the damage done and can lead to immidate knockout.
So if you have a shitty knife with 1d6 damage, average 3 and hit someone with a cap that reduces it by 1, you'll actually deal 8 points of damage, which on someone with with less than 24 HP means rolling for trauma, plus the head hit effect.

It's much more interesting but at the same time, it's complicated enough that it justifies using a computer for all those roles and the only games that did something similar to this were Fallout 1&2.

HAIL SATAN

but that makes sense, shotguns are shit against armor

*sigh*

Shotguns are also quite decent at medium range but that's not what happens either in videogames.

As they are and for the purpose of balance, Shotguns are a weapon that does more damage the closer you are to your oponent, being worse than all alternatives at long and medium range but better than all other alternatives in short range. Also, easier to aim and still score partial damage in close misses.

Shotguns in videogames reward mobility and taking risks by closing in on your enemy with more damage than an average gun. However, that armor system means that shotguns are ALWAYS worse than any other gun since they are never better in any situation than a regular gun of the same tier.

Mainhand is 28-84 and the offhand is 100-150.


That's some sweet as hell crit shenanigans

but the chance for bonus damage with the dagger is only for the dagger's hit

Where are you supposed to hold it?

Press the Chinese button.

It would be nice to see reach factored into the weapon mechanics somehow. The single most game-changing attribute a melee weapon can have is in fact reach and there's no way I'd pick a side-arm (longsword-size or smaller) over a main weapon (greatsword/zweihander/claymore) unless I was also using a shield.

The purple sword is by far the best pick considering it removes one of the sword's biggest weaknesses (can't deal with heavy armor) while retaining all of the strengths (nimble point, hand protection).

I am the whirling death

you dont need to wield it you fucking moron
it wields itself

But then is it really a sword?

ever heard of dancing swords casual?

Top tier taste m8s