User has heard of this new app from one of his favorite franchises of all time...

user has heard of this new app from one of his favorite franchises of all time, unfortunately he has also learned that the only way to play is to actually go outside.

Like many of his peers user has been completely shut off from any part of the outside world for years, so this is going to be the first time he will have the opportunity to see how the world outside is. You could truly call this the start of a magical new adventure.

Unfortunately for user, years of crippling depression, loneliness, and shitty animes have left him with the crippling curse of autism, which makes it impossible for him to work correctly with anything that he isn't in control of: The outside world.

Because of user's curse of autism, every single action that he has to perform has to pass a dice check that will be rolled by the voice inside of his head, me. What will happen is entirely up to the dice rolls.

So, after putting on his favorite t-shirt and charging his phone (that has largely been left unused apart from watching porn from his bed) user is finally ready to go.

As he gets onto the street he notices that there is a pokestop close to him. He could go there, or he could just start walking in any direction he wants to see if he can find any pokemon to catch. There also seem to be a cafe and a clothing store in front of him, on the other side of the street.

First reply decides what to do.

Stop making threads about this game.

user goes back home and GPS spoofs instead.

you guys are not very fun

Put penis in phone

Go to the pokegym that's on the west side of town.

Actually he could do that and get soft banned, committing suicide in the process.

You roll a 14 and start to mash your penis against your phone, with poor success. You do feel some pleasure, so you guess it could've gone way worse. Seems like a woman going for a walk with her baby has seen you though.

You might want to get the fuck out of there before she calls the police and you get arrested for public nudity.

What do you want to do?

Tackle the woman and beat her using the baby

You roll a 15 and succeed in beating the woman up with her own baby half to death.

Now you're in deep shit, people have seen and police have just gotten on the scene.

You gotta go now

Turn yourself in and attend court.

You go to turn yourself in, unfortunately you end up rolling a 3 and you fail so hard that you find yourself in the driving seat of the cop car of which you now have full control of.

The cops seem pretty pissed, you should probably get the fuck out.

Stop the car immediately and get on the ground with your hands on the back of your head

You roll a 5 and instead of getting out of the car you put your foot on the pedal with all the might your flabby, sweaty body can muster. The car speeds up instantly, as you run over one of the cops in front of you, blood flying everywhere.

What now

Duck and try not to get shot

It's fucking 4:30 however, so good night and have fun
Some other user take over from me

Get out of the car and attempt to suck the corpse's dick.

Suggestion:
Make the rolls coincide with the suggestion's post number

user gets out of the car and spreads his butt cheeks for the cops to fuck him right in the ass.

honk the horn while screaming allah ahkbar over the speaker

Tell the cop you're Sam Hyde.

jesus christ this is an accurate depiction

no user, put phone in penis

Actually do what the people are saying for once instead of just arbitrarily deciding "nah that didn't work because I don't like it".

Open the door
Get on the floor
Walk the dinosaur

Scream "Black Lives Matter" as you drive up onto a side walk