What video game movies would you like to see made even though it'll most likely be shit?

Max Pay- oh wait.

I'd like an anthology TV series based on SS13 where each episode is a different scenario of life on board Space Station 13 with a running gag that everyone dies at the end of the episode

Hotline Miami
Also

Too soon, bro.
It will always be too soon, bro.

Rome 2
With all the glitches making an appearince in the film

Banjo-Kazooie done by Pixar. Full of 4th-wall breaking, self-deprecating British humor. Subtitles galore.

STALKER

However you'd need a depressed director, an insufficient budget and a cast willing to be drunk 24/7 during production or the tone wouldn't be right.

a starcraft movie but only if you make a time machine and make it in 2007 or prior when Chris Metzen had talent and Starcraft 2 didn't exist

i want to fuck that unicorn

fuck off

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CRAZY TAXI

There already is a movie you massive fan.

I really, really hope you're bizarro-serious about understanding that cultural reference he just made.

I need sauce on that webm

I'd love to see a movie based on the Star Control franchise, but this should obviously be a Jim Henson movie and he's no longer with us.

The movie the game is (loosely) based on sure. I'm hoping for something more like that series they planned/started.

Just get funimation or whoever to do a feature length anime, and it would be pretty good

I have no idea of what you're talking about
Please don't bully

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That game's cutscenes were paced enough like an anime already. Every time it took a break to load (like if it's just before getting into a fight) I half-expected an eyecatch or a crash cut to end credits.

Vivian listens to Red, while Fuckstone loses his head. Watch all of it, faggot.

You stupid tasteless gaylord.

Look up Sealab 2021, right now, and get to watching all of it, right now.

SS13

Legend of Zelda animated by Studio Ghibli.

I feel hotline miami would be best done as a series of shorts that are all basically the hallway scene from oldboy or the long take from the protector but increasingly intense and elaborate.

God I have to re-watch sealab, that show was the best.

was it the BIZARRO episode?

Kingdom Hearts just so I can laugh at it and all the IPs they couldn't use.

What a world…

The EDF series would make a really good TV show or a one shot super cheesy B-Movie kinda thing with at least one epic fist fight between the walking fortress Balam vs "not Godzilla" ( aka Erginus).
It either fails horribly or it becomes one of those movies that is so awesome that it just drowns out the badness.

Fugg, I remember having watched some of it several years ago. I'm torrenting that shit ASAP

I can imagine it going like embed related from 3:00 onwards, but more trippy and bloody.

Fucking pleb. I'd rather have one made by 80s Sullivan-Bluth Studios or Ralph Bakshi's studio.

undertale

You mean like this?

wew lad

I want a Tsukihime anime.

I think you know what I want to do to that unicorn

Also I know exactly what this comic is referencing

make a wish of course

we know

A scene for scene remake of the Warcraft movie, using vanilla WoW assets in place of human actors and shit CG

Characters that die would be shown doing a corpse run

What no, the movie is at its basest form just shit, making it a machinima would not fix it

but at least then it might be fun

Metroid. The movie starts when Ridley attacks Samus' home planet. Later, during the events of the first game, she gets her revenge.
My main concern is that Samus would probably be Other M-tier, knowing Nintendo.

SS13 series has long since been agreed a good idea

SS13 is already basically Sealab 2021 in space

Just watch Casshern Sins, it's the same shit, really.

The Zero Escape games could make cool films depending on how they handle the meta stuff
Ace Combat 4-6
Call of Juarez: Gunslinger would be really cool. There aren't enough westerns nowadays
World in Conflict

The new Independence Day could have been this if they cut out all the pointless characters nobody cares about and just focused on fighting aliens, explosions, and schlocky dialogue.
The most important thing would be making sure there is zero self awareness. Play everything straight as an arrow no matter how silly.

Actually I think only 999 could be done in a movie format. The other two would need to be a series since that format would gel a lot better with the routes

That game is already a movie judging by its cutscene/gameplay ratio.

EVE online, but instead of a wacky spess adventure it would be godfather.

Fucking retard.

Literally Drive but vaporwavy

I still think a Psychonauts film animated by Laika would be awesome, if only there was a way we could ensure that Mr Shitface doesn't profit from it.

Zero Escape is the perfect example of when a game is already in its perfect medium and trying to adapt it to another one will fuck it up.

You can't do the whole timeline stuff without pulling some Groundhog Day bullshit which would get tedious fast.

A Telltale-esque movie-game adaptions of those games could work (obviously not copying Telltale's approach to decisions mattering). Obviously that's what they tried with Zero Time Dilemma but they clearly didn't have the budget or animation expertise to do it any justice.

Why would you remind anyone of this?

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Zero escape is just the cube series, hypercube was shit but a theoretical good version is possible

I just want an actual Halo movie that gets released in theaters. A Splinter Cell tv series that's released on Netflix is also good.

But user, Redline already exists.

"Well excuse me princess. I ain't no jive ass black nigger honey. Who do you think I am, Geraldine?"

outcast

Deus Ex and (90s) Duke Nukem. I want my thriller and action fixes.

Carmageddon would make for a nice driving movie if it went for grindhouse feeling and not bother with trying to be Death Race
Also, arguably, Payday would make for a sick-ass heist movie.

Douk 3D would make for a nice summer B-movie by Cannon

Do you even know where Carmageddon came from? I'll give you a hint, the Jason Statham ones are in-name-only remakes. Though it would be pretty good to see it done as a modern dystopian future taking the piss

I know exactly where it comes from and this is exactly why I want it to be nothing like the Death Race

(Checked)
So you want a Grindhouse driving movie about a Trans-Atlantic pedestrian mow-fest but have it be nothing like Death Race 2000? Ok

Though it would be funny to have a movie about behind-the-scenes banter and prep.

Mount and Blade: Warband

Good news comrade!

obligatory

I think this would make a pretty good movie.

An animated move by Osamu Sato would be batshit insane.
I kind of want to see what Jar-Jar Abrajew will do with Half-Life/Portal.

Monster Hunter

I actually heard that Paul W.S. Anderson is trying to do one. Naturally it'll have Mila Jovovovich in it with her super cool dual mini bowguns and longsword

The Godfather: The Game: The Movie?

it would have to just be an extended version of the CGI intros they do, no real dialogue and lots of scenery porn with a good piece of action

trying to go too story heavy in MH would be a fucking nightmare

But, user, it's not a movie without a hamfisted tacked on lovestory!

it hurt to type that

The 4U story would probably be the best thing for it

maybe its my inner artfag at work but i'd rather see no overarching story and just a bunch of different hunts and showing the low-dialogue camaraderie between hunters

i'd be ok with it if the female hunter pegged him and slapped his ass when they fucked.

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Might as well just make a (mini)series instead of a movie, honestly

Female hunters are for sweaty rape, user

How about a documentary voice-over'd by David Attenborough?

Spelunky, fo sure

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A Pikmin movie has the potential to be utterly fantastic. With modern CGI the world could look like Avatar but way more interesting.
There's a lot of potential for an interesting story. Olimar could go back to the Pikmin planet to save it from an ecological disaster. Along the way, as he studies the history of the planet he can reveal how the human race went extinct and how such odd creatures evolved.
I would like to see some absolutely massive set-pieces. The movie could try to be a little bit more consistent on size than the games are.
The more I write about this the more I really want it to happen

I'd like a really well done web TV series a la GoT or The walking dead based on Halo: The Fall of Reach.

People always talk about wanting a halo movie; like , but the truth is the lore nor any of the games are good fit for an actual mvoie title without cutting out too much shit, both for time and for content (there's no god damn way you can show the flood or the S2 program in live action without at least getting a hard R, and even that might not be enough)

A TV/web series would work because a lot of the first half of TfoR wouldn't be too budget heavy, would be pacable to match the novel and maybe add in some extra shit, and it wouldn't be limited by having to hit demographics it would need to be toned down for. By the time it DOES get budget heavy, in theory it would already be like 1-2 seasons in by then and would be raking in enough to justify it.

That said, a stand alone, horror Halo film for theaters could probably work well. Have it follow normal ass people on harvest who don't know what the hell is going on when the covenant invade, or just have it be an adaption of the Mona lisa short story/motion comic (which you can watch here, and I highly recommend it if you like horror/survial horror, but it's an hour: youtube.com/watch?v=36hTq2soGDE ) into live action

hey, the exec's gotta rake in their tumblrbux somehow.

Sonic the Hedgehog: The Big Damn Movie, in theaters summer 2018.

Mario Party with a Saw-inspired storyline as a black comedy. I fucking wish

Who's that chick between Melissa McCarthy and the blonde from SNL?

just removing a flag