KILL-FUCK-MARRY

James Miller
James Miller

Kill Hitler
Fuck Mao
Marry Stalin

Colton Green
Colton Green

wow hitler looks like a faggot back then too

Josiah Martin
Josiah Martin

marrying Stalin
Do you have a death wish?

Easton Sanders
Easton Sanders

He looks like groucho marx with a stick up is ass

Ryan Murphy
Ryan Murphy

Hitler looks like some traumatized bully victim who likes to dress up in military uniforms at home to make himself feel tough. Or, in other words, /pol/.

Evan Butler
Evan Butler

I just want sexy kids okay.

Angel Kelly
Angel Kelly

kill me
fuck my life
i am trash man

Lincoln Lewis
Lincoln Lewis

Fun fact; Hitler delivered mail in trenches during WW1, going from trench to trench.

Lincoln Torres
Lincoln Torres

fuck mao
marry stalin
kill hitler

this is the only acceptable answer

Carter Rivera
Carter Rivera

pic 3

Isaiah Nguyen
Isaiah Nguyen

To be quite honest, young Stalin and Mao look a lot more effeminate than Hitler. (And Stalin literally looks like a Portland metrosexual hipster.)

I don't really care either way, but honestly young Hitler was actually pretty based. He fought in WW1 and actually even visited the funeral of his fellow soldiers, even if they were communists. (He might've been a communist temporarily as well, the antisemitism and Nazism came after WW1.)

Then again, Mao was a damn good rebel and didn't become an inept autocrat until he gained power. Stalin was a bankrobbing revolutionary before becoming a boring, soulless secretary who fidgets around with numbers endlessly as well as a somewhat conservative and power-hungry Red Tsar. Absolute power and age changes people dramatically.

Justin Kelly
Justin Kelly

Marry Otto, Fuck Rohm, Date Sorel, Friendzone Ho Chi Minh and the NPD guy, not do anything with the hooded guy, and kill that fucking purple nigger.

:^)

Colton Smith
Colton Smith

holy shit are you me?

Henry Watson
Henry Watson

Hitler is fucking ugly compared to COMMUNIST CUTIES.

Julian King
Julian King

He took on some of the most dangerous jobs in WW1 which at one point nearly cost him his life. Reeling in pain and half blind he demanded to be put back out on the front since he was sickened by the cowardice displayed in the hospital; people injuring themselves just to stay out of the war.

He was far from a larper.

Andrew Rivera
Andrew Rivera

That just sounds like a death wish covered up in some patriotic ideology, mate

Evan Taylor
Evan Taylor

Mao: tall hot poet
Stalin: hot hipster poet and criminal
Hitler: dork with silly mustache

Why are Fascists such pathetic betalings?

Easton Morales
Easton Morales

stalin's wife killed herself
mao married like four times
hitler had some weird thing going on with his niece
pretty bad partners tbh

Matthew Myers
Matthew Myers

And, let's not forget that WW1 pretty much spelled the end for "long" (including medium) hair for half a century. (As well as awesome mustaches like WW1 Hitler's)

Long hair was quickly banned at the onset of trench warfare due to the issue of lice living in the longer hair of the soldiers. Soldiers later were also forced to be clean shaved or have very petite mustache styles (Like the toothbrush mustache :^) ) to get the gas masks to fit in. This is why most Westerners have the same "clean" and short-haired look from the 20's to the 50's. The WW1 look stuck on for those people. This is why Charlie Chaplin and Charles de Gaulle share Hitler's toothbrush mustache. It's literally a normal mustache chopped to fit in a gas mask.

The East wasn't affected by trench warfare as much and thus men had longer hair and bigger beards. Stalin himself was much older than Hitler and thus he didn't even go through WW1 until he was much older than in the photo above. (And, he dodged the draft by then.) Mao didn't even serve in an official army, so he had the freedom to grow his own hair style.

Also, curly handlebar mustaches are the best by the way. :^) (Even Stalin grew one eventually.)

Asher Collins
Asher Collins

What's with all that spite about Hitler?
You'd all be fucking Hitler youth if you were born back then.

Get glorified
4 kids and the loan on your house is no more
Amazing marches
Autobahn
Medicine and science breakthrough
Working rockets
Volkswagen
Amazing aesthetics
Etc.

Certainly could have been worse.
In b4 it was actually awful because he got backstabbed on Barbarossa because no man can rule alone and because judas and his golems didn't like how awesome things went in Germany.

Ethan Russell
Ethan Russell

You can spin it however you want but Hitler viewed it as his duty to undertake these difficult and dangerous jobs. Had he not done so there was no certainty that the positions would be filled and were they filled, that they would be properly done.

Hitler on the other hand, he knew he would stay true to the cause and wouldn't try to ride out of the war on a bike, wouldn't try to injure himself to stay out of the war.

People like him are the reason wars are won in the first place, it's the ability of good men to do the jobs that no one else would want.

Joshua Green
Joshua Green

Fuck Stalin
Marry Mao
Friendzone Hitler
Kill the bourgeoisie

Sebastian Bell
Sebastian Bell

N socialists come with built-in homo repellant

god we're awesome

Robert Ross
Robert Ross

fund a limited welfare-state based on loans and plunder from conquered countries
conquer a step too far, get rekt
millions of your own countrymen dead, complete foreign occupation
"this was heaven that only got destroyed by accident, i swear!"
THIS IS WHAT NAZIS ACTUALLY BELIEVE

Blake Sanders
Blake Sanders

No, this is what you believe.
Except
millions of your own countrymen dead, complete foreign occupation
But that was hardly his fault.

Everything was better under Hitler.
Then the Anglo good goy golems got sicced on Germany.
Barbarossa was fucked up.

Ivan cleaned it up.
The bad part about all of this is the anglos, I'm afraid.
They occupied Germany and reeducated Germany and anglofied it a bit.
Therefore it is no suprise that Germany is looking as bad as Britain, France and the USA.
They're all shitholes that could have been glorious if they had fought on the right side of history.
Not the "Haha your country fits in our backyard, we will zerg you now and crush you. This will invalidated all your achievements and progress. Oh, but build us some functioning rockets first, ok?"

Julian Jackson
Julian Jackson

Kill Hitler (obviously)
Fuck Stalin (if you marry him you'll die)
Marry Mao (IMMORTAL MATRIMONIAL SCIENCE OF MARXISM LENINISM MAOISM)

Matthew Hernandez
Matthew Hernandez

I'd kill them all.

Sebastian Peterson
Sebastian Peterson

But that was hardly his fault.
I'm sorry, do you think that England is the reason Germany lost the war? 80% of their troops were killed by the USSR. You got rekt by commies.

Mason Turner
Mason Turner

I would kill them all.
But Stalin is good looking at that age of 23 no homo.

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