New Nintendo Handheld Patent: Good Vibrations Edition

Luigi no made of straw. He made of green.

did someone say clit?

fap fap fap

FUCK OFF SHILL, nobody wants to play games on phones or tablets. phone and tablet gaming SUCKS FUCKING SHIT, the games are terri-bad enough, the controls, THE CONTROLS ARE CON-TROLLS fuck phones and fuck tablets. I want real video games. fuck apple. fuck iphones, fuck tablets fuck microsoft tablet. fuck you all!

WAKE ME UP

Tell that to the dying handheld market. Smartphone and tablet games are more popular than handhelds ever were.

FUCK EVERYTHING, I'M GOING TO GO DOWN IN FUCKING LEGEND LIKE DYLAN AND ERIC. PREPARE FOR TROUBLE FAGS AND CHADS, AND MAKE IT DOUBLE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I will take a million "toxic" gaming communities over the success of mobile/tablet gaming any day of the week.

Thank fuck.

Please tell me this is a fucking edit

No
At first the video matpat made was an edit because of the audio quality but it's not.
despite the memes, reggie points out interesting discussions on why nintendo is retarded

Here, i fixed it.

I love it. Give it Vita-level visuals and it's perfect. Too bad never ever.

try the Wii U pro controller, BEST CONTROLLER I EVER USED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE, don't ask me how, it looks mildly generic and weights almost nothing but It is the most comfortable and best controller EVER, it is wireless and I hate wireless controllers, but it has the most INSANE battery life EVER. I love it.

tried to fixed it again

no it fucking sucks, the , I don't care about battery life because it's FUCKING WORTHLESS IF YOU MAKE IT A WIRED CONTROLLER, WEIGHTS ARE FUCKING WORTHLESS BECAUSE HOLY SHIT ITS A FUCKING CONTROLLLER, YOU HAVE TO BE SO FUCKIGN ILL AND WEAK LIKE A FUCKING TRANNY SPEEDRUNNER PIECE OF SHIT WITH WEAK WRISTS BECAUSE AYY LMAO, FUCKING NIGGER. ITS STILL FUCKING SHIT, IT DOES NOT HAVE THE PERFECT SHOULDER BUTTONS THAT THE CLASSIC CONTROLLER FUCKING DID, IT'S A COMPLETE DOWNGRADE AND THE ONLY FUCKING ADVANTAGE IT HAS IS THAT IT'S A MORE TRADTIONAL CONTROLLER AND MORE COMPAIBILTE WITH WII U GAMES BECAUSE SHIT DEVELOPERS THAT CANNOT BOTHER SUPPORTING THE GAMECUBE CONTROLLER AND THE CLASSIC CONTROLLER BECAUSE WHERE THE THIRD PARTY FUCKING DEAD!!!!

i just likd it caus the cntrlr nic

WOW A 3DS WITH A BROKEN HINGE
THANK YOU FOR BRINGING ME SUCH NEWS

but it's true

Official artwork?
Videogames are for kids you manchild. ~ Gavin Mcinnes

what the fuck is nintendo smoking and where can I get some?

It comes with a TV dongle. That makes it a full console, as far as their marketing and retail execs are concerned.

So, is it just a handheld you can stream to the tv?

No, it's shit

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That's my guess. It'll be a powerful handheld, with something like a Google TV as pack-in.

Why even fucking bother?

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Going by the patent, Why would they make a handheld with only one analogue stick? Or no shoulder buttons? Is it going to plug into a dock or somthing?

And the will call it:

Nintendo SS - Nintendo Single Screen

it's going to plug into your butthole

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Nintendo /ss/

That patent does not have to show the, or "a" final product. It's just an illustration to provide an example of what an implementation could look like.

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It just strikes me as weird that they would make a patent like that.

When some chinks managed to make a better design, you know cucktendo is fucked.

GPD is superior

Different stuff. JXD is a android tablet with controller while GDP is just a straight emulator.

The gpd is an android, not just an emulator. And they make a version that looks like the jxd you posted.

Okay, you're right. They need to update their hardware and lower their price though.

Their hardware is pretty good, and i think the price is good too. It used to be 150 like late last year, but now its 180. It can play psp and ds, so im happy.

It doesn't play N64, Dreamcast, and PSP games at full framerate. I don't know about DS though.

If Nintendo is going phone/tablet then I want the device to be modular and ergonomic enough to be played in both horizontal and vertical orientation.

Horizontal games for widescreen HD gaming. Vertical orientation for mobile ports, tall screen arcade games ports, DS/3DS emulation, and of course tabletop bar-cade style multiplayer games.

And to do that I think the patent with the interchangeable modules would be the most accurate. It's not like Nintendo can't combine elements from multiple patents they own right?

As for the speakers are they just at the bottom of the device? I think the horizontal/vertical orientation would work if speakers were on the top as well.

Nintendo like most other video game companies have a lot of patents that they haven't made use of, and I'm talking about some patents that are decades old that've gone unused

Is that related to the GP32?

Damn it, i cant post the videos i made. Anyway, psp is a mixed bag, some work full frame rate, some get half, Its fine for me. Dc gets full, n64 gets full, and ds can do high quality 3d on drastic.

Not that i know of.

Sssh you're not supposed to say that!

But you're right, sales of handhelds has been declining and in the West they will die out.

Nintendo actually knows this too. They're transitioning to mobile.

Found it.

Its kind of a shame, i really like handhelds.

Yeah. Especially when it gets replaced by the awful games you find in the Android store.

Being replaced by something BETTER is not so bad. But not like this.

Atleast i have emulators ;_;

That shit triggered me more than the screenshot itself.

i think games are meant to be played on a big screen. Got the emu for Nintendo DS and its way better not having your eyes straining on a tiny screen…

Smartphones and tablets have become cheaper than handhelds and offer more functionality. The only way to bring back handheld gaming would be with ultra cheap (~$20) and durable models that parents would buy for small children.

But smartphones dont have controls or games. I guess you can connect a controllet to it and play emulators.

As much as I'd love to be contrarian here, the graph doesn't provide compelling enough evidence to say "consoles are dead in the west"

If it's a handheld that vibrates, it could very well just be a phone with integrated controls.

Controls and games are relevant to gamers. Not to parent who want cheap and easy entertainment for their children. i.e. the biggest market for handheld gaming devices.

Atleast the chinese cater to my wants.

Thats going to be a bitch to hold unless you have tiny fucking hands.

It's sad how chinkshit changed from "a horrible source of disappointment, when granny bought it as a Christmas gift", to "our last hope and refuge."

Also fun fact; in the year 2000 there were over 100 million cell phone subscribers, in the year 2005 there were over 200 million, and there can be multiple devices on the same line

Phones have ALWAYS outsold game consoles, they provide more of a utilitarian purpose vs a machine dedicated to entertainment, this is nothing fucking new, people only care now because cell phones can play cheap minigames and people like Nintendo aren't tapping in (no pun intended) to such a market. Its a problem investors have at best. Handhelds aren't dead, such a notion is simply ridiculous.

Its the same level of retardation as the people who think the term "Post-PC era" means PCs are dead, no, you stupid fucking idiot, its meant as a play on the term "Post-industrial" in terms of economics. All the term means is that the PC market has stopped growing, sales of PCs are normalizing, since everyone already owns a PC

Not really, a decent phone will set you back $700 without a contract. Even if you nab one for free from a contract you're still paying monthly to use it, at minimum for one person it'll be $30 a month on a bare bones plan.

I'd rather have a $500 handheld with no tether or contract to a network than a phone.

What's the point of the removable D-pad? What else would go there?

Sorry, forgot to mention the 100 million and 200 million numbers are for US subscribers alone, not even mentioning worldwide numbers

Analogue stick or extra buttons?

A decent "kids" tablet costs 50€-80€, here. And it comes with tons of "free" games and content. The cheapest Nintendo handheld costs 130€, and games cost at least 30€. What do you think the average parent is more likely to buy.

Seems like that d-pad would come out and/or get lost easily. The 3DS design for extra functionality was to just turn the console into an even bigger piece of shit, but at least it's hard to lose it.

I should have posted this earlier. It shows all four corners have removeable modules.

I would imagine the dpad would be cheap to replace.

On the other hand we have

Are you really surprised? If you make something bad you get replaced. Nintendo hasn't tried at all with the 3DS.

If you do a shit job you'll get replaced by something else.

For you refined gentlemen of absolute taste.

This, basically. Nintencuck should just give up producing garbage consoles.

For what purpose?

4 player arcade game that only uses joysticks?

you underestimate jews

Why, my peanus weanus of course!

Get it? My PEANUS WEANUS, haha!

ITT: What else would go there, the answer is, of course, my peanus weanus!

Hahaha!

Considering that the 3ds is selling less and that Sony is exiting the market I am willing to bet that in 10 years the handheld will be a niché device.

Especially since smartphone technology keeps improving.

You can already see that most of the handheld games are made by Japanese studios. Nobody in the west is making games for the Vita or 3ds.

No offense but any normal person buys a €500 smartphone first. Not a gaming device.

That's the problem of handhelds: they have to compete with expensive phones cause most folks have a limited budget. And a smartphone can do much more than just play games.

And yet, "dedicated" game consoles still represent a fuckton larger marketshare than PC gaming - despite PCs being more powerful, more utilitarian, more open to customization (both software and hardware wise), increasingly livingroom friendly, and cheaper (if you're willing to snap-together a few pieces).

because nobody in the west is dumb enough to buy a Vita anymore

I could imagine some ridiculous mech or plane simulator having four sticks as an option
Alternatively, 16 buttons

the vita has more games than anything this generation.

That's because if you want to play (modern) games on your office PC you will generally need to build a new system (Maybe a new processor, psu, case, memory, definitely a new video-card) All of which will easily double the price.
Meanwhile, your iphone 6 can already play the latest games out of the box. Of course the market-share is going to be bigger.

Mobile phones are still 100% cancer when it comes to gaming though, and it's time this meme gets off the face of this earth.

it doesn't help that PC has a very unappealing library these past few years. Large investment, mediocre return or a return that's just the same games on consoles but slightly better and with none of your friends to play with.

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Also to add to that, back in the 2003-2013 era PC gaming was interesting because it was both a benchmarking machine with stuff like Crysis, The Witcher, Gamecube emulation, and a million more programs that actually taxed your system with visible results (ran an older core2 duo? Sorry you weren't eligible for most of this stuff). And also an indie machine with stuff like Minecraft, Terraria, Sengoku Rance, Kamidori etc. All on top of also being the device you do your work on as well. It was like a mini pc-gaming Renaissance.

Nowadays the benchmarks are just Bioware games with added memory leaks so it doesn't get too far ahead of the console version. The operating environment is the NSA's wet dream (windows 10, occulus rift) and worst of all the indies have become SJW soapbox walking simulators.

You make that face, but it's the truth. The 3DS and Vita have the most games worth playing out of any of the "consoles" ~ and honestly, I could give a fuck about most of the 3ds's library. Everything else is either remasters of old shit, multiplat shit, exclusive trash, or has better versions on the PC.

Handhelds are still "their own" systems, with their own unique libraries. Some of the games are even actually worth playing too.

That's nice to hear, I've been neglecting my 3ds. Could you suggest some games?

yes, there were many interesting things going on, and lots of unique, meaningful games like stalker and crysis that made the PC stand out for a time. Around 2010 things just went to shit, and now, nobody develops exclusively for the PC unless they can't afford to develop on consoles. There's the exception here and there, like Xcom2 which is best left on the PC, but there's so little developer support that I am incredibly disinterested in even upgrading my aging PC.

Pushmo, stretchmo, and pullmo

Actually DESKTOP computer sales have been declining for years.

But laptops, tablets and netbooks are replacing them.

Also only gamers replace their PC/laptop every few years. The average person doesn't need a high end PC or laptop and the build quality and undemanding software means a computer can easily last 5-10 years.

also for the record, the stalker games aren't even half as good as I remember them being. Kinda feel like nobody criticizes them, but there's a lot of issues.

Well sure but there aren't a lot of Western made games for the 3ds either.

Sony leaving the market tells you a lot about the state of handheld gaming.

Here's your (You)

Finally we'll able to get physically fucked by Nintendo~

Mobile games are rarely good, but they're generally cheaper than AAA games. 3DS can't even be used as an emulator.

I'll have to agree this is truth.

I'd be willing to use a handheld that could be used as a cellphone.
Yes, I tried an N-Gage before. Main problem was that it was a cellphone that also played games. I'm talking about a handheld that also receives calls. Having the hardware to browse the internet properly wouldn't harm.

is /ss/ something you pick up, or something you never grew out of in the first place?

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OH YES, OH MY GOD

no cell phone or tablet cancer though or I will abandon nintendo forever. no joke.

Nintendo patented the Vita? I'm so confused.

fag

Nintendo's next handheld console will just be a handheld/smartphone hybrid. Mark my words

you're autistic.

GOD DAMNIT

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Monster Hunter, the Shin Megami Tensei games if you're into that, Pilotwings Resort for that comfy feeling, Gunvolt will be good in about a month when they release the patch, and Phoenix Wright.

Lots more, but these are some of the standard care package/

Just please for the love of god dont give it that shit, frail, reflective shiny shit plastic. Thats all it has been since the DS lite. it looks awful, it feels awful, i swear if the controller doesnt have the texture of the nintendo 64 controller it will be yet another nintendo electronic i will not buy

See

WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?

But will it fit in my ass?

AAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA SURE

but the Wii U is good

Yes.

please go back.

Will they really? I've waited too much already. Fuck the PC port.

Back to Neogaf with you.

Villager's Penis BURLED

zelda windwaker hd
deus ex hd remake
zelda hyrule warriors
mario maker
zombie u
(kerbal space program) 2017?
zelda breath of the wild 2017?
and many many more.
gamepad isn't the best I ever used and I have tried alot, but it's far from the worst. its okay. the Wii U pro controller is excellent though. wireless, which I hate, yet insane battery life. it's a good design.
needs more 3rd party games, then I would have more opportunities to play multiplayer. as for online support unrelated to multiplayer, its just so shocking how good they care about their customers.
I don't like some, and love others.
yes, that's what I said

oh and have fun playing some AAA premium elite call of battlefield activisEAbisofthesda halo 22 electric boogaloo DLC DRM subscription based wallet raping 500$ tv tv tv tv sports tv tv THEN videoganes console experiences with micropukes xbawks wan and incompetant sony's nogaems station 4.

You serious, nigga?
Fuck dude I honestly think the Wii U has a solid library but your inability to argue your point is retarded

Or maybe he is going to go play bloodborne or baldurs gate or some shit nigga, christ.
Not everyone who disagrees with you is the same person, faggot
someone could not like nintendo and ALSO dislike all that shit you shitposted.
You post and argue like a child

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my experience with PC and one of the many reasons why I play on console:

PC

Console:

I rather be playing games and having fun when I want to play videogames, instead of getting a massive headache learning what every single button on my computer does. I'm fascinated by technology but when I want to play video games, thats what I want to do.

I really like the fact that I can just say "I want to play a game RIGHT NOW" and just do that without having to do something annoying.

Fucking Christ

Now they are just doing this on fucking purpose to release a second "improved" version in a year

Will they be making a speedboard but for this unholy abomination?

Hello, casual

I'm not a normalfag. for some reason I'm cursed and all my posts read like a normalfag casual.

What in the almighty fuck do you think downloading a rom for an emulator is you god damn turbo autist.

I really would not be surprised if Nintendo goes all in on mobile. They've been inching closer and closer together and they have seen how profitable it is. They have seen where the casuals are.

It's gonna happen.

Wot?
You're forgetting:

FUCK

you didn't even read it

did you read it yet moron?

Outside of using your "hardcore gaming desktop" for its namesake, what was it used for? Were you the only one using it?

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If this isn't some beautiful bait it's a happy accident.

it's beautiful and it's happy but it isn't any accident.

NEVER
EVER

disgusting

nintendo trying to find the next fad instead of making games great again

elaborate user, one word isn't enough in this context

that just looks so much like a tablet/cell phone and the controls look awful and uncomfortable. I hate cell phone gaming and tablet gaming, but I really enjoyed the gameboy advanced. I really hated the PSP.

Those are actual cellphones. They have controllers build in so that you are not limited to phone games.

disgusting attempt at doing something cool that isn't actually cool

I see it more as Nintendo transitioning their handheld business into mobile and putting their current handheld/console markets under one platform. I think it would be best because when mobile titles make it big, they typically stay popular for years so Nintendo would just need to maintain enough mobile titles to maximize profits without cannibalizing on each other (like what would happen if they saturated the market with their games).

I think some of their dormant casual franchises could actually do gangbusters on mobile like Brain Age, Rhythm Heaven, Elite Beat Agents, Nintendogs and others. When I think of Nintendo going mobile, I don't think of them pushing core titles there, I see them creating games that are mobile-specific and cater to the platform's main audience (casuals, women and children) while keeping core titles on dedicated platforms so that there's a clear difference on the types of gaming experiences Nintendo provides on each platform. To me, a mobile presence is more about diversifying and maximizing their revenue streams than something simplistic like going full mobile.

NOPE, fuck this, mobile is just an incredibly shittier version of a handheld console that no longer is built for the primary purpose of playing video games. FUCK TABLETS, FUCK SMARTPHONES, FUCK MOBILE GAMING, FUCK IT TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL ABANDON NINTENDO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PURE CONCENTRATED REFINED CANCER

if nintendo goes near tablet or phone gaming they are NOTHING to me. never will I buy another fucking thing from them. you are all just trolls, you know nothing about nintendo, you are just making all this shit up to fuck with everyone and give them fear of cell phone tablet gaming CANCER

FUCK IT ALL FUCK IT ALL I DONT GIVE A SHIT ANYMORE!!!

Tablets are like the Boeing 757, they're a stopgap designed to fill two niches at once.

Smaller tablets are getting eaten up by giant phones, bigger ones are getting eaten up by 2-in-1 hybrid devices.

No need to continue sucking dick if you're sick of it.

If the NX is just a Portable Wii U with a wireless TV adapter, I would be pretty damn happy.
even if the games are Download only.

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I'd buy one.

No this.

Forgot some phone features.

I moved the audio jack for if you want to listen to music and put it in a pocket.

forgot pic

New 3DS is as powerful as a smartphone from 2008 and the asking price is disgustingly high for the technology you're getting.

It's one hell of a rip-off.

it needs to have:

It has the nipple thumb stick like on the "New 3ds"

Couldn't that be a 2DS prototype of sorts?

the nipple is just a really poor quality thumbstick.

I want two real good comfortable thumbsticks like the Wii U pro controller.

Haha!

NEVER

BTW that shit looks like one of those cheap chinese android game thingies

Hope pretendo at uses a FUCKING GLASS SCREEN THIS TIME

Cheap ass japs…

The 3ds is garbage. It's built like the Soviets made it in the '80s, it has less horsepower than a watch designed for kikebook, it costs more than buying a galaxy S5 off eBay which can emulate lots of systems and be useful for real world shit too, and the UI is like it was designed as a joke. Who else manages to fuck up the STORE? Buying games is an adventure that will hit at least one error dialog and require your attention for many minutes and you better already know what you were looking for and when it releases before you load it up. It's the worst DRM that exists today and I'm looking forward to a working Android version of Citra.

yea user, every pc game I buy my computer just fucks the shit out of its fuck and the whole thing gets ruined.

NO GLASS PLEASE fuck!

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