What will the twist be?

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It will be Darkest™ but at the same time the most Fun™ Star Wars movie ever, with a whooping 95% on RottenTomatoes™ and 2 billions in box office!

they really doubled down on the porgs didnt they

EVERYTHING IS VAGINAL BLOOD GET IT CISMALES

And now the whole "nerd culture", who hated the ewoks, thinks porgs are the best thing ever.

Carrie Fisher was dead the whole time.

Rey is even cooler and amazing than you thought possible and theres an even biggerer Death Starkiller

80% of the movie is CG.

Well Jay, I loved the Porgs. I'll admit that I laughed quite a few times during their scene and I think they were a necessary part of bringing levity to the more darker moments of the film, which I also loved.

a bad one

It's the highest grossing film ever, 100% on RT, multiple Oscar nominations, and two guys french kiss in it

I was hoping Rey would turn evil and Kylo turn good and have a Darth Revan/Bastil Shan type of thing going on from KOTOR.

It really is goldmember, Disney has brought the Austin Powers rights and will make crossover stuff. Their next film will be an Austin Powers in the SW universe spinoff. Then he will join up with Rey against Snokemember in IX, that way they will finally have a likable character on the side of the good guys.

Mike will hate VIII because Abrams isn’t directing.

I don't think he's contractually allowed to hate it, but I do think he will say it's not as good as TFA. Then when IX is released he will say Jew Jew saved the trilogy by making the bestest Star Wars movie to date and that TLJ was shit in retrospective in order to hype up IX.

Mike didn’t get a contract, they bought him off with merchandise. He sold himself cheaply because Jew Jew was directing. He shat on Rogue One. He’ll shit on this too.

Unless he wants the Mouse to take him for a one way ride, he'll give it a positive review.

Light was the Dark side all along lmao

Better go gray Jedi.

The porgs are the key to all of this.

Han Solo is still alive and is manipulating both sides from the shadows. He took is spoils from A New Hope and founded an organization similar to Cipher in Metal Gear.

I really couldn't tell you the twist. On one hand it can't possibly be more retarded than an angsty millenial killing Han Solo in the middle of a massive sperg out, but on the other hand I am sure it will be retarded and that the movie will be completely forgettable again. Anyone who goes to see this movie at launch is a fucking retard who is wasting their money.

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I can't see them turning their Mary Sue a villain. Although, it would just lead to her breaking free from the patriarchy's lies in Episode IX and saving the galaxy through the power of grrl power.

She won't be a villain. She will be bullied by the patriarchy and Snoke will use his male privilege to make her unable to fully resist (like the Louis CK "victims"), then she'll finally break free.

Kylo turns to the light side, is the obvious one. Might wait until the last movie to do it though.

If they were willing to do anything cool or interesting
But it'll just be something lame like Luke dies, and Rey is even perfecter than we thought

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The more you think about it, the more you realise how perfect this would be.
Rey is over-powerful, over-confident, overly antagonistic even to her friends, has yet to lose a fight or be established as vulnerable in any real way. She's perfect Villain material.
Whereas Kylo Ren is weak, pathetic, in serious need of guidance, and got his ass thoroughly kicked in the first round. He's like the archetypal hero at the first stage of his journey.
They really could salvage the trilogy if they did this, and it's truly sad that Disney wont do it in a million years.

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If they ever make another Austin Powers they have to parody the Daniel Craig movies.

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They couldn't fix it because TFA happened.
If you look at all the pieces in this new trilogy it's pretty clear that none of them fit the official narrative established by Disney. The First Ordah should've been the heroes of the new story and the perpetually resisting Resistance should've been the bad guys (a mirror of the real-life communist regimes with their dictators who continue their "revolution" while being at the helm of a country for 30+ years).
The world building and cohesion of nuWars suffers from a misconception of what Star Wars is and who or what is the Empire. The fact that Disney's Lucasfilms is pushing the idea that the Empire is a white supremacist group is completely insane (after that they went with "ackchully they're human supremacists" bullshit). Sure, the Empire was based on nazi imagery but it was way more complex than that.

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Kylo Ren was an incest baby.
Think about it, they'll need an even darker edgier, blacker.com twist, and literally all incest babies in media are portrayed as functional but psychopathic man children because of their inbred genes, like Ren.

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Did JG Quintel draw this/

It's funny because it's not far off from what a current year Austin Powers would be like.

Rey will abandon Luke and Kylo will abandon Snoke and the two pair up and do their own thing trying to figure out things and developing a Grey Jedi philosophy.

Putting aside lore problems, the major issue with TFA is that it was an attempt at a hero's journey, without a hero's journey. Rey is just too good right off the bat. A hero is supposed to grow, and Kylo Ren has room for growth.

There's not going to be a twist. This movie will be utter predictable, rehashed, consumer-friendly trash.

Star Wars used to be a simplistic adventure story aimed at teenage boys. Now its a multi-million dollar franchise without any overall direction or purpose besides brand recognition and political agendas. Just. Let. It. Die.

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The twist is unironically going to be that Rian Johnson tried to make something that emulated Revenge of the Sith instead of Empire Strikes Back

This is the only thing that matters at this point.

strawpoll.me/14532208
strawpoll.me/14532208

Kylo is a better choice for a hero than Rey purely because he isn't cool. Remember Luke at the beginning of the original film, being a stupid implusive kid, getting his ass kicked and being belittled by everyone? That's Kylo Ren in TFA.

You think they are gonna pull a Vader with Rey?

I think they should, if they want salvage the trilogy. They wont, because it would hurt their propaganda.

Even if they tried it wouldn't be good, JJ can't do it for sure. Something has to happen here

They should and keep her evil. What will end up happening is her breaking free and choosing her own destiny independently, which fundamentally shits on what Star Wars is.

nuWars was stillborn - the only way they (ie Disney) could fix SW now would be to disregard their attempts and go back to the old canon/EU

I still have my issues with things that were done to the larger Star Wars universe, but they could squeeze a functional story out of this trilogy, if they tried.

That and the porg shit were shoved in last second as the shill's get out of jail free card against the otherwise overly edgy direction the movie is probably going to go.

I want the twist to be that Rey becomes evil and Kylo Ren becomes good. Also I want Snoke to be Darth Plagueis all along so he counts the version of his tragedy and how he was betrayed by Sheev

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Kardue'sai'Malloc appears out of nowhere and K'ungfu comes to save the day. Post-credit scene reveals that Darth Insanius and Darth Icky were the puppet masters all along.

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It would make the movie slightly more tolerable, except for all the other sjw, tumblr, and forced diversity "characters" & propaganda they dumped into soy wars:
Purple haired, cat lady, dyke straight out of Dr.Who, the nigger, burn victim Asian "chick" (could be a guy), Sliver super dyke complete with cape, etc..
Also apart from this remember all "the force is female" bullshit? Ray can never truly become a villain as it would undermine what the lunatics at Lucas arts have tried to set up. At best or worst Ray will seem to go to the Dark side for about 1-2 minutes of screen time before it is revealed that she in fact is good probably at the end of the film, although they probably don’t want to scare/trigger their audience (tumblr) too much lest they lose the $hekel$. In any case I predict on the third film Ray will wear black just like Luke in RoftJ & return to “not Tatooine” ( ja-crule)and probably choke people while trying to rescue someone.

They will tease it hard but no they will only go Vader route until they reveal Ray is either gray or good.

This

Sure:
-Get people that actually like Star-wars to produce the film.
-Remove anyone that tries to inject current year/sjw/ tumblr/femminst/cultural marxist BS agenda.
-Get/use good writers that understand source material.
-Better casting of actors that fit the parts they need play need: intimidating, cool/likeable, eye candy (need at least some good looking chicks),etc.
- Hard reboot or kill off practically everyone in current Soy-wars sequel
-Toss character deigns of current soy wars (Snope,porgs, orange yoda, Dr who aliens,etc.)
- Use decent CGI only were needed use models/practical effect everywhere else.
- Cut out all baggage of OT, (No more fan service: Millennium Falcon, ATAT’s, other references to OT /PT) save Luke Skywalker.
-Create new vehicles & uniforms for IMPERIALS ( “the order” name gets retconned) and republic forces.
-Remove “resistance” from film unless you want to turn film into a 3 way civil war.

They can't have the jew being perceived as evil can they?

why are there so many incon-fucking-sistencies in these movies now? this is just as retarded as them changing anakin's saber ignition button.

>I want Snoke to be Darth Plagueis all along
Given how at the time of the making of TFA they didn't even know who Snoke was (Mystery Box), that reveal would be predictable but interesting.

Porgs are the source of the force.

Maybe.

Rey going evil would be purely because evil characters sell better in Star Wars. They think giving her a red lightsaber and a new costume will make her a fan favorite, since right now her stuff languishes on shelves. Phase was a dud, but she still outsold Rey because clueless moms bought the androgynous chrome stormtrooper for their sons.

The Kathleen Kennedy self-insert is going to sell well, dammit! She’ll show all you dumb boys!

they're just turning Rey into Revan

and turning Luke into Kreia

This.

it's not Star Wars unless a ship flies through the ass end of a planetoid

the twist will be the black guy ( an';t recall name) & Asian will kick both Ray & Kylo ass and save the day.

Why is Poe on the bad guy's side?

because faggot switch sides.

Guess he was a little too white.

he's a jewish spic what part of that is "white"

Not being literally a nigger.

Finally. Death to fucking force users

Leia dies.

You've heard of elf on the shelf…

That would actually be interesting so probably not.
Kylo turning to the light side with a self sacrifice redemption ending would be worth watching.
Mad corrupted Luke or just Luke getting killed by a dark side Rey would drastically make the movie worth watching.
They will likely just make it similar to Empire with the Darkside/Imperials gaining dominance to be knocked down in the following film.
Boring as fuck.

They're pulling another Jar Jar with a comic relief.
Star Wars has gone to such shit it's unbelievable.

And everyone will praise the filmmakers for being bold.

O-original ideas!

Dislikes: no mention of sand

token dominance, in other words they will win one Hoth like battle just like ESB, and that will bee seen as bold and impressive but the 3 IQ monkeys that watch soywars now.

should read by

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The PT is not kosher with the Mouse, user.

Are you ready to spam all normalfags gathering points with Luke Dies In Episode 8?

I would if I actually had any presence on social media - that's were normalfags these days hang out right? The last time I ruined an ending for normalfags (on an old skool forum) was when the last Harry Potter book got leaked before release.

We need proof though. Like the image of Han getting stabbed, although nobody really gave a shit.

There’s bound to be some anons with the shooping skills necessary to pull off a believable fake.

Yeah…but it doesn't ‘really’ spoil it. The nerds looking for leaks will figure out it isn’t legit. you want is the real deal. You want images from the event. We need some anons in the early screenings to get us images of what happens.

Star Wars is dead to me. Cannon is sealed off.

So much anger…. over a correction
I guess you really like force is female Dr.who soy wars II.

Fucking this. The only entries in the series that are real are Star Wars, Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, and Star Wars: Return of the Jedi. Everything else is non-canon fanfilms.

You didn't a New Hope.

damn, you emulate reddit so perfectly with your shitpost that it has me concerned that you're an actual redditor.

A story where Kylo gets redeemed through a romance with Rey would be great, especially if it involves her tempted by the dark side first, but we're never going to see that.

This

I'm not entirely sure Adam Driver is jewish, just really ugly.

Disney doesn't have the balls to pull off KotOR 2, but holy shit imagine if they actually did.

Kylo Ren and Rey Mixer have a sex scene and then Rey uses her force powers to crush Kylo Ren's testicles to end the Skywalker bloodline.

BEHOLD THE POWER OF DISNEY

Chirst, I really don't care what they do, just as long as we never have to see that fucking nigger again. Of course, Diversity Wars is going to have him as the hero and love interest for the next 10 shitty movies….

That it's even worse than TFA

Someone replaced the lightsaber crystal with a turd.

The franchise’s new PC directives are front and center once more. Female leaders repeatedly dress down male heroes. Every other fighter pilot is a woman or person of color.

There are 3 things that could be considered twists.

Luke tried to kill Kylo when he was a kid.

Kylo kills Snoke to save Rey.

Luke uses force projection to fight Kylo on Crait then dies.

Luke's death is basically the same as Goku's death from the end of Dragon Ball GT now that I think about it.

That's not a twist, that was the baseline expectation

/thread

Yeah a kissless virgin no doubt

THE LAST JEDI SCRIPT LEAK
pastebin.com/raw/dRvyu1dE

drpαvel: (GRUNTING)
I failed you, Ben.
-I'm sorry.
-I'm sure you are!
The Resistance is dead.
The war is over.
And when I kill you,
I will have killed
the last Jedi.
Amazing.
Every word
of what you just said

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Why are you obsessed with (((Kike Cucklasa)))'s penis
>>>/lgbt/

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archive.fo/12xXz

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Got rent?

Im not the one thinking about his large veiny dick…Stop projecting, isthat how Mike pays his rent the space he occupies in your mind? Do you touch yourself while you think about Reich Bigcocklasa?

>Do you touch yourself while you think about (((kike cucklasa)))?
Whatever make you sleep well in the night, closeted faggot in denial, (((cucklasa-senpai))) will not notice you
>>>/lgbt/
also

Luke is a tranny.

Confirmed for faggot who touches himself to thoughts of Bigcocklasa.

>tracks down people who dislike Mike and RLM most of Holla Forums

>RENT FREE

RENT FREE

The only one getting penetrated here is, (((Mike)))

Can be legit, the Variety review confirmed Yoda.

Let me tell you about Cuckoldry

I was dating a white woman, I know I know, already fucking it up there. And she was fairly popular on my show. Whatever, so she asks me "hey, can I be on the show… without you?" At first I'm like what it's my show why wouldn't I be on it but she promised it would be fine. So they are watching movies, and I'm in my office writing the script for the next Plinkett review and I hear the movie stop. Interesting. So I head to JUST outside the door and I see Jay running out of the room, crying. Inside, I see the love of my life getting spitroasted by AIDSmoby and that fat guy. Immediately the whole Jay thing makes sense (he has a bit of a hard time around women).

So I watch and jerk off and afterwards she comes out acting like she "saw the movie". I tell her I saw everything and I was honestly turned on by watching my girl get plowed. "It's like my own home porno" I say. She says "really, well I've had an idea for a while, I'm going to bring some guys over and I hope you approve."

So I'm at home waiting and she arrives with a van full of guys. Black guys, all much more fit and masculine than any white man I've ever seen. I'm immediately in love. Those muscles, those skin tones, immediately reminds me of my favorite movie series ever. So I start jerking off and offer to "prep the bull". Being gangbanged by 7 black men as a warmup is honestly what all enlightened men should be striving for. I didn't cum, of course, that wouldn't be happening tonight.

They go in, and tie me down to a chair. They immediately go to work, their enhanced Nubian stamina allowing them to sport full, 12 inch erections for hours. It's amazing, watching them pass my girlfriend around like a basketball. I saw them do every position, in every hole. When they were close to climax, they got out a bowl and all came into it, making sure to keep it just warm enough to support the sperms life. When they all had cum, they mixed it and filled a turkey baster to the brim. Planting it deep inside my girlfriends vagina, they shot the combined ejaculate of 7 muscly Egyptian Pharoahs inside her. I knew it was the time of month when she was most fertile too. I never had to worry about getting her pregnant, my little cock barely got inside, and she never let me fuck her without a condom. Now I knew I was never going to fuck her again and honestly, I'm glad. I'm prepared to use all the money I make to raise as many black children as she can birth because the world can only be made better with more men like them.

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POTTERY

Also the Rebellion is back.

Thats just the literal dialogue of TFA on Star Killer Base with the roles reversed. I totally believe they are so creatively bankrupt they steal things from their previous movie

This better not be real. But if it is, there is no fucking way even a redditor could defend this.

Remember when redditors mocked Lucas for his "poetry" thing?

How things change.

I honestly love the design of those cute guys, I'd buy one if Disney cared about advertising in my country.

Which country?

luke dies

You will pay for that