Are you ready for Emoji Movie level of cancer that will be praised across the board and everyone will line up to suck its dick?
Ralph Breaks the Internet
Fans at D23, Disney's fan expo in Anaheim, California, were treated to the global debut of a work-in-progress scene from Rich Moore and Phil Johnston's Wreck-It Ralph 2 on Friday. In order to save Vanellope’s (voiced by Sarah Silverman) broken game Sugar Rush, Ralph (voiced by John C. Reilly) and his plucky sidekick must venture into the internet to find the a replacement part for the game. Once there, they meet a trendy algorithm named Yesss (voiced by Taraji P. Henson) who teaches them what going viral is all about.
In the clip, Ralph and Vanellope find themselves transported to the most magical place on the internet: OhMyDisney.com. This is not a joke. Ralph and Vanellope actually stumble into the official Disney fan site, a place devoted to Disney fans, characters, and merchandise. (Even Marvel's Stan Lee is there.)
While exploring the world of OhMyDisney, Vanellope decides to sneak into a dressing room full of Disney Princesses — the Disney Princesses! — to mess with them. When the Princesses discover the tiny intruder, they prepare to attack. Mulan pulls out her sword, Merida grabs her bow, and Cinderella turns her glass slipper into a shiv. In order to save her skin, Vanellope tells the Princesses that she, too, is a Princess.
The Princesses then proceed to rebuke the antiquated tropes often associated with Disney Princesses, revealing themselves to be, in Vanellope's words, "just as messed up as the rest of us." The scene then cuts to a Princess slumber party in which Jasmine reveals that she's allergic to cats (sorry, Rajah), Snow White tells the girls that she secretly wears glasses, Tiana lets her hair down, and Ariel revels in her — what's that thingamabobs called again? — oh, cotton shirt.
C-3PO then shows up — he does have a history of looking after princesses who don't need looking after — and the Princesses then teasingly address him as both R2-D2 and BB-8 before he storms off, annoyed. "I miss Captain Solo," he muses.
This clip is wild. It's total fan-service, and, well, the fans loved it. It's the first time we get to see all of the Disney Princesses together on screen, including Moana, who was heavily marketed as a Disney Heroine last year. Frozen's Anna and Elsa are also included, despite the fact they aren't technically Disney Princesses (yet). But what's really important is that they all just get to be normal young women.
Of course a scene like this also demonstrates just how powerful and ubiquitous the Disney brand has become since it acquired Lucasfilm and Marvel Studios. The studio also got all of the original voice actors back, including The Little Mermaid's Jodi Benson (who almost breaks into song at one point), Mulan's Ming-Na Wen, and Brave's Kelly MacDonald, who gets her own scene-stealing moment. When Merida says something in her thick Scottish accent, Vanellope says, "I can't understand her." That's when another Princess leans over and says, "She's from the other studio." (The other studio being Pixar.)
This is awful.
I sincerely hope this isn't real.
The fact that they even gave it the subtitle "breaks the internet" already shows that the writers on this abortion are about 10 years out of touch with the rest of society, and even then, that shit was dead the moment it started.
Can't say that I'm happy that Sarah Silverman is back either. Especially since her primary purpose in the movie seems to be as an antagonistic, modern foil to assorted media tropes. Going to be suffering having a digital Sarkeesian on screen snarking at poorly conceived jokes about the internet.
I don't really care anymore. All it would take to stop this shit is for people to not buy it. Stay home, go for a walk, read a book, anything. How hard is it to not waste time and money consuming derivative works whose only novelty is in their hamfisted politicization? But I'm sure they'll make a bundle on it. We have the culture we deserve.
Now that's a new advanced hyper-concentrated kind of cancer, alright.
Quick and dirty mp4 coming through.
I wonder if real young women are furious about their favorite princesses being "taken out of the tropes".
I am ready for the reset Bennu
best girl is safe from this heresy
Every day I hope more and more the upcoming eclipse brings about something good for the world. We need it badly.
I'm ready for the reset, Bennu.
I'm ready for the reset, Bennu.
For some weird reason I read the title of this thread as "Ralph Bakshi Breaks The Internet" but then I found out it was a sequel to a shitty Disney movie that didn't need a sequel and my dick went limp.
You are not the only one.
I'M READY FOR THE RESET, BENNU
Sounds like a script written by Chris Chan.
It sounds like bullshit, fam. But then again, the emoji movie sounded like bullshit as well.
I don't understand why they decided to do the whole 'internet' thing. They could've stuck with video games and had more than enough material to work with. Maybe the arcade gets the sequel to Fix-It-Felix and the characters have to deal with their sequel counterparts taking the limelight from them.
Maybe the arcade owner decides to replace the Sugar Rush machine and Ralph has to find a way to keep them there. I don't know. Anything would be better than Disney's attempt at the Emoji Movie.
That's what I was thinking. If you want to use the internet so much, why not use PC/console gaming? You can show how the three franchises have evolved since then and touch upon things like microtransactions, game development and how people are playing games' alphas now, walking sims and how many modern games hold your hand, etc.
BUT NO THE INTERNET IS JUST FOR MEMES, MARKETING, AND NOTHING ELSE ECKS DEDEDEDEDEDE
I'M READY FOR THE RESET, BENNU.
And the internet idea doesn't even make sense the way they're doing it. Why would the princesses be there? Why would C3PO be there? They're not internet characters.
They could make gaming online, MMOs, Call of Duty or other shit, but they'll go with memes and shitty stuff. I guess the enemy is going to be an internet troll or some shit?
My best guess is that they're treating websites like they're "games," complete with its own versions of the characters featured. Even then, OhMyDisney is just a Buzzfeed knockoff with no reason to get a part, let alone be anything but a bland set of bulletin boards..
How much do you want to bet a "darkweb" site gets a passing mention and is destroyed by a tidal wave of curious newfags?
I doubt they'd do that.
it's Holla Forums
They don't have the balls. At most there'll be a roving band of trolls like said.
Why does this board feel like shit now?
Where did all the newfags come from?
Last summer wasn't so bad. This one is. Why?
Literally just Ready Player One: Disney Edition
Normalfags are already creaming themselves
When will this princess trope deconstruction meme die already?
Even Marvel's Stan Lee is here
I refuse to believe this shit
Fitting musical accompaniment for this thread.
Not enouth to express the tormenting souls screaming at the back of my brain.
How's this then?
princesses are just as messed up as the rest of us
then they have a slumber party to reveal their flaws
jasmine allergic to cats
snow white wears glasses
tiana lets her hair down
ariel revels in her cotton shirt
What the fuck does any of those things mean, like what significance do they have at all?
Jasmine having a cat allergy is fucking stupid, snow white wearing glasses changes nothing because it's so insignificant, I had to look up tiana to realize she's the frog nigger and I still don't see the significance to her letting her hair down, and ariel wears a cotton shirt? Who gives a shit?
Odds are its going to be cuckchan, always the perfect crime
Isn't Mario going to be in the movie too?
The whole point seems to be to make them "Relatable" without actually changing the character.
This whole thing
This whole thing reeks of ass. Where are the video games god fucking damnit? Why is it the internet? Is it going to be the shitty hollywood internet where only fantasy hacking and trolls and memes are the sole things existing on the internet?
Oh God are they trying to do some Avengers crap with the Disney Princesses?
I miss when (((Disney))) was set in stone in the idea of making the princesses never ever under any circumstances even look at each other on any merchandise they happen to appear, lest they give the appearance that they exist in the same world. I used to think it was goofy, now I see the wisdom in it. Of course that isn't helped by the shitty liberal deconstructionist writing.
$20 on there's a joke about a big, beautiful firewall somewhere in the movie that doesn't work or is evil or some shit.
What they're actually going to change is make them all act much less feminine, especially the older ones.
Breaks the Internet
not Wrecks the Internet
Come on. Think about your title for five seconds.
originally simple story about hated ugly guy from famous story no one heard of wanting to be good guy and being helped by famous characters to achieve his goals
basically just shrek in video game form
proved fun and enjoyable with a Roger Rabbit-esque charm
decide to make Emoji Movie 2 but with as many Family Guy-tier references stuffed into a movie as possible
Even Roger Rabbit with all its references only stuck with cartoons and made it clever by comparing them to toons. Or subtle and wonderful shit like the singing sword.
adventures in blogging
They're not even fucking trying.
Video games are an element of toxic masculinity, user.
The ads take over more and more day by day.
Not having princesses as bicyclist lesbian vegans
I once read a crossover where Ralph fell in love with Faith from Mirror's Edge (Who was video game hoping, a sort of mini vacation. She wanted to scale different buildings in different games.) It was an extremely clever, funny, and cute story. I recall busting out into laughter when Ralph was villian circle and he confessed to liking her and Boswer screams out. " Did you try kidnapping her!?" and " Show her your different castles!" Or something like that. He and Vanellope met so many characters. It was really good. I'm 100% sure that story had more heart than whatever shameless cash grab this is.
Alright, I guess that's a successful shill. So gimme a fucking link.
I can't take it anymore. Making money isn't enough for these people now, they have to suck themselves off while they do it too.
Makes me glad they never made that Roger sequel they talked about. They'd never be able to make lightning strike twice.
Send me a link to that shit. Sounds better than the movie at least.
She deleted it. Along with a really funny Clamp crosserover parody. I still regret not saving either. The Clamp one was hilarous too.
The only thing I recall about that one was the line. "There is no fucking police in Japan! Why do think there are all these majical beasts bestowing superpowers to school girls to fight crime."
And the one bit.
No one noticed the epic magic battle in the sky. The tiny japanese business men were far busy on thier tiny phones arranging marriages for thier grade school daughters.
Or something like that.
Both of those stories were insanely popular. I have no idea why deleted them. Im pretty sure she is still saved in my favorite authors despite deleting all her works. Shame really.
That was from years ago user.
"I miss Captain Solo," he muses
I admit I chuckled.
Thankfully with the summer movie bubble popping they'll think twice.
You could always search archive.is or archive.org if you still have the link saved somewhere. I've found a few stories that way.
Hollywood whore getting stabbed by his cuck-child is a pretty funny picture.
AWAY WITH YOU, DEVIL
show her your different castles
This is the kind of garbage that makes things like The Emoji Movie happen.
Ralph Breaks the internet
This is a reference to that Kim Kardashian breaks the internet picture isn't it?
Snow White wears glasses
You know, this is a great indicator that the movie will be shit. They were more concerned with making a reference then actually being clever, and judging from the preview, that seems to be the case throughout the movie.
The term "breaks the internet" has been used well before Kim Kardashain, unless you really want to see Wreck-It Ralph or Vanellope pop champagne on their ass.
You know what they say about women who wear glasses…
That in a medieval setting like that of Snow White where corrective lenses are unavailable they would be severely impaired or maybe even legally blind?
Did you try kidnapping her!?" and " Show her your different castles!"
jej, shame you didnt save it
I didn't even read that whole post and I feel like dying.
god please don't let this be real
i prefer this one tbh
…oh god. Yidsney is going full kike. This is so bad, i habeebit.
I am ready for the reset Bennu
Okay, stupid as hell question, but does anyone know where to find the font in OP post? I've been looking for that exact font forever.
last summer wasn't so bad
the time a rogue autist had a massive tism fit across Holla Forums that ended with him blanking the board.
Other than that, I agree with you.
Looks like a free one.
him blanking the board
He didn't even do that, he only deleted like 4 pages worth of shit like a massive failure despite vols having the ability to easily nuke the shit out of a board.
AND I'D DO IT AGAIN IF GIVEN THE CHANCE
Try using what the font, or some OCR software
spam is free spinach
Piss off ya wanker.
God that looks creepy.
That picture is shopped, look at how the dress is visible above the glass bottom on the left. It would fall off. It's sad, because I don't think it would even have been that hard to actually do.
I feel that's quite obvious user.
Almost every major news outlet covering this is stating the same thing, minus the stan lee thing. It might be over exaggerated, but the princess shit, star wars crap and Marvel cringe is all too real and confirmed. The Emoji Movie is just icing on the cake of the animated hell that awaits us in the future of cinematic animation.
The one Disney princess that defies the whole "helpless princess" trope is absent in a scene deconstructing said trope
Then again, she's the only Princess to hook-up with a beta.
He was cool to her, user. Especially with the actions he took saving her.
i'm guessing it's because lost empire was a flop.
500 dollars say they'll throw in a jab at trump/the alt-right.
"I am ready for the reset, Bennu."
He-hey, someone else shares my good taste in vidya. I'm too lazy to drawfag a cute approval reaction image so I'll just doot this down, how's that?
I don't know why, but when there's other people who share my pain, I get very soft and affectionate, like the desire to comfort suddenly arises.
there will be a GamerGate reference on top of all of this
I am ready for the reset Bennu
And shove it up his ass
I need to hire the campaign director holy shit.
Arcades are comfy, old consoles are comfy, the Internet is not comfy. It's where good feelings go to die. Not looking forward to this film and I LOVED Wreck-It Ralph.
He literally went from nerd to fighting mercenary in a fistfight on a dirigible and hero of a lost world….a beta would have just staid still and let them leave with the princess while proclaiming he wanted it
disney plans to release movie about the internet
major internet sites begin to double down on censorship and attacking its "problematic" users
Those fucks really are trying to own everything.
I'm calling bullshit. The original film was about it's original characters and only used other properties for background characters and visual gags. No way they would do something this drastically different.
look it up
this shit actually seems legit
Sad thing is this is probably going to get a pass unlike the emoji movie.
God Damn. I know that it is supposed to be deranged sounding, but this is the most soothing music I have heard since "My Heaven". Nice!
Somebody screencap my post;
The same people who hated the Emoji Movie will love the shit out of Wreck-It Ralph 2 despite the fact that it pulls the same exact shit as the Emoji Movie did.
THIS CAN'T BE REAL
They are the eternal boogieman
Disney tried to make me mad. And they failed.
Didn't watch the first one, not watching this one.
Vanellope’s (voiced by Sarah Silverman)
And this is the entire and complete reason.
You've shown more familiarity of reddit just by posting that image, faggot.
First film was actually good.
Says the faggot that keeps doing it.
Because I always leave spaces between my paragraphs you idiot. It's how you prevent walls of text from forming on lower resolution screens. I didn't even fucking know that reddit would force unspaced paragraphs onto a single line until reading that image. Do you have any fucking idea how hypocritical it is accusing someone of being accustomed to a site's formatting using knowledge which shows your familiarity with that site's formatting?
I'm ready for the reset, Bennu.
Of course he understands it, he does this shit exclusively to derail threads you retarded faggot.
Literally everyone else has figured this out by now and ignores his dumbass.
NO FUCKING BET
cap this with the responses
post it when the film comes out side by side with the paid jew critics
instant classic meme reposted on all boards
I keep reporting the Reddit Space faggot, but I think the only mod left is some alt-right shill who deletes posts with comics he doesn't like, and that's all he cares about. It seriously takes a couple days to get rid of CP, but try posting Gold Digger and BAM!
Why would you say that, goy?
I have never seen CP posted here tbh, are you sure you're not mistaking this for /b/?
Regardless you shouldn't rely on vols to ban the faggot because you can't simply ignore him.
He's pretty much entirely by himself, and banning singular shitposters for trying to force maymays is cuckchan tier.
I'm not sure what the purpose of you posting that was, it has nothing to so with CP or forced memes.
If you were trying to shock me then you'll have to try far harder than poorly drawn diaper porn.
What cartoon is this?
What cartoon is this?
Boko no Stimpy
Ren and Stimpy,
Can you post the title and author name?
If it's actual CP, globally report it and it won't take that long.
I'm ready for the reset, Bennu.