Kek

kek

Other urls found in this thread:

my.mixtape.moe/ipevwi.pdf
en.m.wikisource.org/wiki/On_the_Creation_of_Niggers
altered-states.net/barry/update178/
hooktube.com/watch?v=L0zfeqOyVYc
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

Get a good writer and an editor. Then, we'll talk.

Is this scene kino?

Why not make one last alien film to tie Covenant to Alien and round off the franchise and then make 5 new completely original films? Sad.


No, the whole film was pointless and dull. Ridley Scott clearly wants to do high concept stuff but just ends up wallpapering over it with dumb horror shit so that it actually sells. It's capeshit by another name.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

The first Alien is the only one that should have been made really.

Katherine Waterston was shit and it honestly was probably worse than Promtheus

Didn't watch the movie but seeing this made me root for the alien(s) which is never a good sign.

I just want to know the story of those pre-Humans and the Aliens without the
Is that asking too much?

The only thing bad about Aliens was the stronk womyn saving the day at the end.

What the fuck, it looks like a straight to TV nock off

Yes, now shut the fuck up and support my Patreon you misogynist.

I don't think this means what you think it means.

Alien 3 was kino and Prometheus is one of the very few interesting space films made since the SW prequels. The only bad ones are Aliens and Covenant. Resurrection was a shitshow but it wasn't without good qualities and it was the least awful scrip Whedon has written.

Better not watch Life, then. Half an hour into it, the humans made so many retarded mistakes based on feels instead of security, I just wanted the little tentacled fuck to land on Earth and replace the entire species.

This was even worse than Covenant, by quite a bit

I like the part where she can't run down a straight corridor. Falls down the first time.
On the second try she breaks her leg.

tbh that entire sequence was the most realistic thing in the alien franchise

Should have made Prometheus 2. No one wants more "Ridley Scott pretends to make an Alien movie, but not really".

No one wanted Prometheus 2 either.
Ridley is ruining his legacy, and the legacy of the first Alien film.

Let us hope he kicks the bucket before he can do any more damage.

Make up your mind.

The fact that the movie wasn't called Alien: Prometheus should have clued you in.

Some people liked it. Some people would have been happy to get a real sequel. No one wanted the not quite anything movie that Covenant was.

Thats what the sequel was planned to be the entire time. Ridley did it out of order

Prometheus > Alien Awakening > Alien Covenant

Alien Awakening is supposed to have Shaw

Alien was just a slasher in space. Just like any other slasher, it spawned unnecessary sequels that just repeated the same formula. Popular movies are made just like videogames: artless trash to entice the peons, who themselves ask the same over and over (booze and fuck).

Wait so it'd be a prequel sequel prequel? Or a sequel prequel sequel?

Uh, both.

Yeah, that's why people are bored of Alien. They weren't popping out of the right side of the torso.

Assbursters when?

not soon enough, user

He's warning us about relying upon women in stressful situations.

Even that was fine because it wasn't because she was some sort of badass, she just survived because everyone else was protecting her and finally lost her shit and rammed a forklift into another mother.

If you must have your strong female protag, just do it like Sarah Connor or Ellen Riply and stop whining

Weren't some of the "colonists" Assbursters?

Good one, checked

I don't know if I just got bored and looked at my phone, but I didn't notice the fags that were in the trailer.

Were they removed from the film due to poor test audience reception?
I mean, the actors were still there, but I didn't notice them being gay.

Isn't Covenant pretty much already just Prometheus 2?

Touché

Not really. Everything that isn't David gets dropped so we can focus on boring colonists and xenomorphs yet again. Engineers get to show up for about five seconds in a flashback.

I wanted Prometheus 2. The first film was flawed but had a lot of potential if it just got rid of the stale xenomorph and slasher formula shit. Instead they dumped everything that was interesting about it and made the sequel almost exclusively about the bad parts.

Read H. P. Lovecraft’s At the Mountains of Madness instead. Prometheus was a failure, and the main reason Del Toro couldn’t make his AtMoM adaptation.

It was ok. But let that whore have long hair and boob implant

That's only a superficially similar story.

No, quite the contary actually - one takes place on a distant planet/moon, the other in unexplored Antarctica.
Humans being artifically made due to an experiment gone wrong, or as a sick joke on our expense, by alien beings who were overthrown and left behind their ruins - the characters uncovering the horrible truth and dying or going mad

I've read all of Lovecraft's stories, I just want to see that in kino form. I'd rather take Prometheus than whatever Del Taco would have shat out tbh.

What does Prometheus have to do with AtMoM adaptation? Spoon feed me mom.

Del Toro is on record saying the reason he couldn't/wouldn't do AtMoM was because Scott's Prometheus came out and it was too similar - humans finding out we were created by alien beings

isnt that the chick from the first one? when did she start directing?

Cuck del Toro is a hack, so no big loss there. He would have likely butchered Lovecraft's vision simply out of spite.

That's the dragon from Metroid, dummy.

I'm not a big fan either, but I'd take Del Toro over old Scott any day of the week.

Del Toro's AtMoM script: my.mixtape.moe/ipevwi.pdf

At the Mountains of Madness is one of the most boring stories I've read. I don't think Lovecraft works good outside of short stories. I mean there's a point when the 'it's impossible to imagine' stops being tolerable and becomes grating and boring.

He describes the beings in detail in that story though.

Lovecraft wasn't a very good writer in general. Dialogue, pacing, execution, etc. were all mediocre at best and only his concepts truly shined. He was what we would now call a idea guy.

He was a great writer, his stories wouldn't have worked at all without his particular style.

I hate del taco too

This. His style is all important to the success of the stories - the story-within-a-story, the use od old documents that tell of horrors from the past, the slow, introduction building the mood and setting the tone of the story - none of this would have worked in the hands of a different writer, who didn't take his time and ignore 'traditional' story telling styles.

He had a total of 3 good storys.

I'm not sure what he's referring to (I think it might be the murals and architecture) but it is there.


Even so I enjoy his short stories. Most of the stuff of his I think is great has nothing or barely anything to do with elder gods. Polaris, Pickman's model, Ex Oblivione (it's like 3-4 pages long lol) are fun. I am a book pleb and I haven't read much though so I can't really judge.

The Shadow Over Innsmouth, The Rats in the Walls, The Colour Out of Space, The Statement of Randolph Carter, From Beyond, Cool Air, Pickman's Model, The Dreams in the Witch House, The Thing on the Doorstep, etc., etc.

I had to stop listening to the audio book 3/4s of the way through because it was so fucking boring. The only good ones were Herbert the Reanimator, Cool Air, and I forgot the name of the one where it had Aliens in Maine and they could take your brain out of your body and put it into a can and travel to their new planet. Everything else was boring trash.

The cthulhu mythos is overrated, his best work is undeniably his dream cycle.

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Audio books are superior.

It's really no wonder you can't appreciate Lovecraft if you're an audiofag.

And yet everyone else copying his ideas has been far worse

audio has it's perks. you can listen while driving listen while ur too tired to hold a book and read. you can listen in the dark to save ur eyes. quality readers like roy dotrice really make a book come alive - that's really the most important part. hating on OG story telling methods shows how pleb you are m8.

An impressive feat all things considered.

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Reading the script so far. Kind of reminds me of Peter Jackson's King Kong. Seems ok so far.

"It was borring" has to be one of the most plebian strikes against a work. This goes for every medium. Anyone who says this is basically saying "hello I am a pleb, please fuck my ass."

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The thing about Lovecraft is he was a working writer. Some of his stories were genuine works of passion and creativity, but most of them were written to put food on the table. You can always tell which of the two kinds of story you're reading.

Maybe because they don't get what he's writing about. A lot of people are just like "l o l I' Iä Iä! Cthulhu is like so cool. Big monster nightmare god hahaha so weird. Elder gods are neat and shit brah. Check out my weirdndess xD, I, like, totally LOVE Lovecraftian horror because I'm just such a weird guy. Fthagn amirite xD"

100% this. I wasn't interested in another fucking xenomorph film; I wanted to explore the Prometheus universe without that hack Lindloff writing.

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>>>/reddit/

No, most of it was written because he wanted to write. He mainly relied on his inheritance for money.

What was he writing about?

Cosmic horror.

His fear of vaginas.

The terrors of race-mixing

I didn't say it was boring. I said he was a poor writer on many technical levels. Which he was. His ideas weren't boring and that was his only saving grace and the reason he is remembered.

He's still going to get one more sequel. The movie is making a profit.

This - at least in some of the stories, especially 'The Shadow Over Innsmouth', where the Deep Ones have been forcing humans to breed with them, and the town of Innsmouth as fallen into decay, with the hybrids being repellent-looking, and, much to his horror, the protagonist discovers he has mixed human/Deep One ancestry.

t. what is a phone

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This ensures you get the most superficial experience, you are a top pleb.

Doesn't get much more /ourguy/ than this.

Absolutely.
Some of the more hardcore Holla Forumsacks might not be onboard with his taste in women though.

He was 110% /ourguy/
In Jove's fair image Man was shaped at birth.
Yet were they too remote from humankind.
Th'Olympian host conceiv'd a clever plan.
Filled it with vice, and called the thing a Nigger.
en.m.wikisource.org/wiki/On_the_Creation_of_Niggers

I just finished reading the whole thing. Kind of actiony but still fairly decent. Reminds me of the Thing a lot which I know is intentional sinc the Thing is based off the Mountains of Madness but its interesting seeing it.

Well…

How desperate do you need to be to use Silverman as an example of anything other than the very definition of "I wouldn't hit it with your dick".

Silverman is in the top ten jewesses.

...

The white guy looks like Eminem.

That does not bode well for the Jews. She's not, like, their number one, right? If so… Yeesh…

I haven’t read the script in years, but I remember feeling somewhat underwhelmed by it at the time. It didn’t succeed in capturing the cosmic dread Lovecraft aimed for, and it didn’t have the same sense of paranoia and relatable characters that Carpenter’s ‘The Thing’ had.

Still, I think del Toro would have made a serviceable adaptation that might have opened the door for more Lovecraftian films based on Lovecraft’s work. Del Toro is probably the only Hollywood film-maker that wouldn’t butcher Lovecraft’s story, and he is a big-name Hollywood name with the artistic creativity and visual style that could pull off a big budget Lovecraft adaptation. In the wrong hands it could very easily turn out like the 2011 ‘The Thing’ – a watered-down CGI spectacle with unlikeable characters, and only a superficial similarity to the source material.

Ideally, if he still wants to do it, del Toro would get S. T. Joshi onboard as a creative consultant/co-writer – Joshi is the only man I would fully trust to get Lovecraft right.

Agreed. When I was reading the script it felt like it was downplaying the cosmic horror element. Though it was still decent to read.

Kind of wish he would finally do that Haunted Mansion movie.

Guess they had to tone it down in order not to alienate normalfags who are unfamiliar with HPL.
The studio probably wanted a more action/traditional horror film as well – though I am pretty sure del Toro wanted AtMoM to be R-rated.
If he returns to the project at a later date, I hope he still intends to make it R-rated, and with a slightly reworked script – and no Tom Cruise.

A remake of the Eddie Murphy film?
Would be strange to see another haunted house film from him so quickly after Crimson Peak – that film was visually stunning (as always, and clearly inspired by the films of Mario Bava) and with a terrific soundtrack. I wasn’t too keen on the CGI ghosts tbh, and from BTS pictures I have seen they shot several scenes with practical effects, so it might be a similar situation to what happened with the 2011 ‘The Thing’, where they added CGI over the practical effects (due to studio meddling).

Fix'd.
Scott is only good at making cinematography.

I want to insert my penis inside a xenomorph.

Pretty sure it would end up being the other way around, user.
There's also the possibility that they squirt/cum acid.

he also thought about how xenomorphs cum.
My biggest problem is how they can contain liquid acid whwn they are clearly not bullet proof.
Makes no sense really.

is Crimson Peak with a watch? how badly was it meddled with and changed by the studio?

Most beakers aren't bullet proof either.

I don't mind that either.
Depends how strong, really. If the pH level is around 3 or 4 I should be fine.

I meant 5.5 or 6. Getting 3 inside you would be very bad.

If you enjoy a period piece mystery/thriller with some horror elements I’d recommend it.
Visually it is very impressive – beautiful set design, costumes, the cinematography is gorgeous, and the soundtrack is first rate.
It is clear del Toro wanted to make a homage to Hammer Horror-esque films & Mario Bava. The protagonist is even named Edith Cushing, after Hammer Horror regular Peter Cushing.

For some reason they decided to change the ghosts, who were played by people in suits, with CGI ghosts, and it is painfully obvious and distracting IMHO. Thankfully the ghosts aren’t overused though, so it doesn’t ruin the experience, or take away too much from the overall enjoyment of the film.

Also, there’s wincest

True but this shit attack concrete steel instantly.

You'd do serious harm to each other no matter who was cumming in who.
If a creature's fluids were acidic to you, your fluids would be caustic to them.
If a xenomorph's blood as acidic as hydrochloric acid, your blood would like drain cleaner to them.
If you came down a xenomorph's throat it would kill them, it would be like drinking bleach. That's how pH levels work, they're relative to each other.

Be safe, wear industrial strength condoms when having sex with aliens!

Great, yet another fetish ruined by science.

Hardly ruined, just made much more extreme

So why didn't they make urine pistols?

Because the writer didn't know anything about chemistry.
I don't know how protective a xenomorph's skin is, but if you blasted urine anywhere near his mouth or on an open wound it would hurt to the high heavens. If you pumped piss down its throat it'd die.
A pretty cheap way of dealing with them.

So my fantasy of cumming on a xenomorph's face is ruined?

Only if you can't get off to gore.

So how can it eats a human body if we are so poisonous to it?

Again, the writers didn't know much about chemistry. In reality it wouldn't be able to eat something with a pH level as high as human flesh (which is 7.2!) and survive.

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Interesting, it really opens me a new scientific field to troll Aliens fans.
altered-states.net/barry/update178/

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Are you saying that Jarate could decimate an Alien colony?

No. It was a decent flick

Resurrection is completely irredeemable.

Fox wants to ban Ridley Scott from directing another Alien movie?
Finally some justice. Now if only we can get that retard Michael Bay off Transformers and ban George Lucas, Spielberg, Uwe Boll and Shyamalan too.

Why isn't there some sort of blacklist for these people? When you create something you should realize that your reputation is on the stake.
You can't just make sequel after sequel like a retard and think it's alright.

Ridley Scott is a hack who stole his script from a bunch of other talented people who kept refining the original script till we got the final version.
Why the hell does everyone(including Hollywood) think that he's the creator of Alien?

Honestly what did they even keep Ridley around? for sounding like Ripley? for having cheap atmosphere of a bunch of scared people running through dark tight tunnels and corners with another guy in an alien suit?
Ridley is the idiot who wasted half the budget on those electronic sci-fi pods opening. Ridley is the moron who couldn't manage to keep the original alien skull intact because he's just that incapable as a director.
Even back then he was an incredible newbie. Everyone simply let a hack artist like him and his crappy actors on because they thought they were shooting another crappy horror movie with green swamp monsters and crap.

Imagine if Ridley Scott had edited the final script's story thinking he could improve it.(like everyone keeps doing nowadays to reboots) Alien 1 would have been horrible.
Just like Batman, just like Star Wars, just like everything when a bunch of talentless ideaguys start thinking they were the brains behind the execution.

How come when they walk around in the spaceship it's like on earth but then go a few feet in to space and they are weightless?

What if the xeno's acid is between 2 membranes? and it's not their blood at all?

If that was the case you could enjoy a rear full of xeno spunk with no worries, assuming it's not toxic and their potential of hydrogen (pH) is also comparable to ours.

Agreed. Love that little slut.

retard

all other horror is either b-movie shlock or retarded shit like spooky skeletons popping out of the closet, neither of which have any fear factor if you're above the age of 5
lovecraft is the only real horror, deal with it nerd

Well maybe he's just not a huge killjoy

Damn. That's harsh, but accurate.

Perhaps, but that's a relative ranking. The top ten jewesses wouldn't make the cut for top 10,000 goyesses.

These pictures are more horrifying than anything Lovecraft ever wrote.

I still want to bed and wed her honestly.

during that entire scene i was thinking
"this needs the benny hill soundtrack"

Only a homo wouldn't, user.

...

t. homosexual

t.yid

in ridley's defense, this is actually a widely accepted theory that human life came to be because of extraterrestrials fucking around.

Have a non-shopped one user

Is there a widely accepted theory that Jesus was a tall, bald albino alien too?

I'd much rather have AtMoM, with humanity being the result of a mistake, or made as a joke.

lol

I would berry my dick so far inside her ass whoever could pull it out would be crowned king Arthur

and she's still fucking ugly.

This is bait

not into beastiality

That's literally true for all celebrities though.

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I was so disappointed in this movie.
Knowing DT was wanting to do ATMoM and was into Lovecraft I was expecting to see some elder god shit in this but nope, just incest with ghosts.
Granted the ghost effects were excellent but there were so many red fucking herrings.
Why was the mud red? I was hoping it would turn out to be some ancient god's blood who was buried under the mountain eons ago

I just want a true sequel to Aliens. Is that too much to ask?

Well, ‘Crimson Peak’ is more like del Toro’s loveletter to Hammer Horror & the films of Mario Bava (in particular) – the sets, the use of colour, &c.

I wasn’t all that impressed by the film either, but I wasn’t expecting anything Lovecraftian going into it.

I believe the red clay was just an aesthetic choice on del Toro’s part – it is visually striking when you see it contrasted against the hwhite snow, especially the crimson footprints in the snow. IMHO it is a way to make the audience alert – red = colour blood & danger. Even the Sharpe family’s crest is made to look like a skull, so it is probably just del Toro having fun with the symbolism/imagery more than anything else.
– Crimson Peak and The Color of FEAR Frame By Frame: hooktube.com/watch?v=L0zfeqOyVYc

If you are looking for Elder Gods, the Necronicon, necromancy & striking visuals, look no further than Roger Corman’s ‘The Haunted Palace’. The title was due to studio interference, who wanted to capitalise on the previous Poe-adaptations – the film is really based on ‘The Case of Charles Dexter Ward’ with elements of ‘The Shadow Over Innsmouth’, by Lovecraft. One of my all-time favoruites – very stunning film with great performances, especially by Vincent Price.

I dunno maybe the ship has a centrifuge that simulates gravity?

Lovecraft in his earlier years thought that kikes were "alpines" like southern germanics or northern italians. He also considered sophy to be "marvelously anglicized", that is to say he fell for her passing for gentile trick. After he married her they moved to Jew York City and he found out what kind of company she kept, ie kikes of the sort we'd recognize. That is in fact where he penned his most nationalist and racialist works like Horror at Red Hook, He, The Street, and a couple other short poems.

Lovecraft actually became more racist against jews, niggers, and levantines through experience while the same socialization caused him to become amicable toward Irishmen and Poles. Man, its almost like this completely correlates with both statistical and anecdotal data we collect today wherein whites and a japs are the only races which people like more the more they are around them while conversely the more they are around nigs, saracens, jews, and spics they more they hate them. Funny huh?

Absolutely hilarious!
You know what is even funnier? He never signed the divorce papers.

Aliens is already pretty much the perfect action movie. Is there any way to go from there?

Well, there's always **downhill*

Terminator 2? Action garbage with 80's flavour isn't exactly rare.

Sweet I'll check out Haunted Palace, thanks

Yeah he didn't believe divorce as valid so he just ignored her and moved back to Providence while pretending the marriage never happened.

You should also check out "The Resurrected," which is Dan O'Bannon's adaptation of "The Case of Charles Dexter Ward." It's pretty good at telling the story straight and conveying that Lovecraftian atmosphere of a mouldering New England hiding terrible secrets.

Seconded.
Brilliant adaptation of the original story that plays up the PI angle Lovecraft added, hoping to sell the story to a magazine publishing detective fiction.

I first saw it one night on Cinemax. I'd never heard of it before and had no idea what it was, so I was shocked when it turned out to be based on one of my favorite HPL stories.

Every time.

I think the Krauts got a really nice blu-ray release of it not too long ago.
A lot of these HPL adaptations are hard as fuck to get hold of on DVD/blu-ray unless you want to shop at Amazon or eBay.

Is this comment ironic? There's really people out there that prefer to listen to audiobooks instead of reading? wtf? you need daddy to tell you a bedtime story? this is literally the plebbiest thing I've ever read.


Audiobooks are honestly Youtube-tier, absolutely disgusting. I would execute audiofags and youtube fags if I could.

Is this comment ironic? There's really people out there that prefer to listen to audiobooks instead of reading? wtf? you need daddy to tell you a bedtime story? this is literally the plebbiest thing I've ever read.


Audiobooks are honestly Youtube-tier, absolutely disgusting. I would execute audiofags and youtube fags if I could.

dude blood and gore lmao

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She's cute.

I'd like to see the next Alien movie open up with David bisecting and inspecting her naked body.
Does that make me fucked up?

>manually getting up to pause your shitty narration of a paid shill that gives (((emphasis))) to parts of the book approved by your overlords to contemplate the echoing mumblings of a man voice other than your own
also:

literally reddit tier

C'mon user, tell me you wouldn't wanna fuck this naughty slut up the ass. It wouldn't be any fun if it wasn't utterly wrong.

You can barely get yourself to pay attention to a single task for 5 minutes, yet you are under the impression that you can absorb anything meaningful from an audiobook while playing videogames? You are deluded.

Rewinding is never precise enough.

Holy kek, did they think making them into retards would make the scene more tense?

But thats how people react because humans do stupid things in scary situations XDDD
That's how normalfags excuse everything in movies

I want to stretch her donut out tbh.

as much as anyone on this site.