# Questionable Malcontent - /clang/ Edition

Jeremiah Gonzalez

In a much better webcomic, there's a decent clang arc going on. But here we are stuck with detachable asses and autists.

Older stuff (Editfag Prime):
Edits: http://imgur.com/a/Sf5J0
Omits: http://imgur.com/a/HtKr0
OC: http://imgur.com/a/kSZcE

Jacob Perez

Edits

Eli Russell

Actually omits

Jose Taylor

OCs

Jason Roberts

Don't forget your medicine, Holla Forums

Asher Brooks

Baggyfag's stuff

Josiah Perez

I'm desperately trying to justify why all my characters just sound like me

Isaac Morales

I'm trying to use my schizophrenia to cover for my lack of empathy
I'm surprised it's not working!

Cameron Harris

Thanks, doc.

Luke Moore

Deliberately induced schizophrenia is sort of the method Moore uses to write his characters. It's not bad per se.

Matthew Cox

Funny enough, this is the way I play my NPCs when I run tabletop games. If you spend a little time and imagine the life experiences of a character, it's pretty easy to mentally construct them as a person and let the roleplaying flow like a normal conversation.

Unfortunately, if you don't spend the time to maintain each character by thinking about only them, they tend to flanderize and blend into each other. This is what's happening to Jeph's characters, and it's also the reason he keeps getting bored when he has a cast of dozens to work with.

Dominic Lee

1 weird trick to not make all characters not sound the same: every time you're tempted to have them say something like, "What's up assbutt fartface poopy poop poopstain?" just don't.

Jaxson Ross

Why do people obsess over a webcomic they claim to hate?

Juan Nelson

/tech/ obsesses over systemd. /pol/ obsesses over jews.

Carter Powell

Do we really have to explain this every thread? The short version is that hatred is a unifying force, and the wretchedness of QC motivates us to try and come up with better shit using the hack author's table scraps.

Jacob Diaz

Pascalle Lepas is definitely a (((systemd))) user.

Ethan Martinez

I'm disappointed that thus far no-one has edited Clairence in the OP to have spots and a crossed bandaid on his arse.

Jace Moore

what a cunt.

Aaron Allen

implying systemd and judaism are different things

Evan Diaz

That's some serious fucking autism right there. I'm not exactly a great conversationalist, but that question is obviously asking for "what comics did you like".

It's also an ice breaker designed to branch off to something else. She might answer something like, "Well my father was an avid reader so like father like daughter I guess." Then the interviewer follows up with something like, "So you and your father were close? Did he encourage you into illustration as a career?"

Speaking of autistic illustrators, have some QC "art" from Willis.

Cooper Sanchez

Or even ignoring that, it could be a question of, "what about comics that drew you in that books, T.V./movies, etc..?"

It is an easy open ended question that allows the interviewee to wax philosophical for a few paragraphs, maybe even shill their own products. But no, kill the conversation, don't give the interviewer any lead ins or any any other topics to cover.

Easton Williams

Neither of them knows what a penis actually looks like…
I firmly believe they're the kind of betas who think getting hard is sexist and objectifies women or some shit.

Colton Jones

I firmly believe they're the kind of betas who think getting hard is sexist and objectifies women or some shit.
You say that like they're outliers but no, according to feminist theory it's sexist of men to be attracted to women at all. It's sexist to be gay as well.

Jack Long

Those are both things that affect the real world, though. This is a webcomic. It has no impact on anything.

Cooper Watson

It has plenty of impact on other webcomics. Handstab is a trailblazer for the model of "barely put in any effort, appeal to hipsters and sjws, coast off patreon".

Ryder Parker

Can't you apply that to 95% of the discussion on this board?

Joseph King

Wow, you're like totally right, man.
Like, why even read comic books at all man?
They're like, fake and stuff.

Fuck off. People can talk about what they like; people can talk about what they dislike.
We're saying we can see the emperor has no clothes, and will say that contrary to the fanboy circlejerk and ill-deserved adulation of not just a webcomic "artist", but an arrogant, deluded, hypocritical nutcase.
It's also cathartic.

And not to mention the fact that the edits are invariably much better than the source material.

That said, since the Robot Wars plot got wrapped up real quick, the story, or what somehow passes for a story, has gotten mighty boring.

I've said it once and I'll likely say it again, in the face of true potential Jeph has settled for mediocrity.
He had what *could* have been a decent story in Robot Wars, resulting in the best edits and rewrites (rewrites! Where we didn't just poke fun at all the stupid characters, but fleshed them out and gave them depth!) but no; he killed that off with all the writing talents of an 8 year old.

Alexander Brooks

Like, why even read comic books at all man?
They're like, fake and stuff.
This is completely correct though

Grayson Ross

The lolcow has no milk, man. These threads are just like the /gg/ generals. Arbitrary discussion that slowls to a crawl even by this board's standards, and does nothing but obsess over a part of the bigger picture. At least Mr. Chandler had some gust to him.

Luis Rivera

But what's the point of a constant thread focusing on a mediocre webcomic? Isn't it just a perverse kind of fanboy circlejerk?

Evan Cox

Do we really have to explain this every thread?
Apparently we do.

Bentley Foster

Thanks buddy

Colton Ortiz

Here's an even simpler explanation for you faggots
I can do whatever the fuck I want and if I wanna waste my time shitposting about a webcomic there ain't nothing you can do about it

John Kelly

Looks like David the Gnome is about to choke a bitch, such as this shitty Menstro fan art.

Could you guys stop making these threads at least OK K.O.! is still relevant.

Dylan Young

I wanna waste my time shitposting
That is against the rules.

Dylan Jones

Exactly the opposite.
We edit and we rewrite; the fanboys only keep repeating how "great" it is, parrot Jeph's opinions and do nothing creative.

Elijah Gray

That doesn't explain shit. If people were actually unifying over this, the author would've killed himself, by now. All you're doing is posting rage faces at some no-name liberal's poz comic, while making "improvements" to something that could never be good, to begin with, and getting mad at anyone who dares question your motives.

When you milk a dry cow hard enough, you yourself are being milked.

Joshua Bailey

Clearly you haven't been following these topics.

Heh, sure pal. Sure. If the nasty words get you so upset, the best thing to do would be to take a step back from the computer and go work on your treehouse or paint a fence or something.

Matthew King

the nasty words get you so upset
Tu quoque. Not an argument.

Connor Myers

Just some friendly advice, man; not an argument at all.
If you ask mommy real nice, maybe she'll take you out for some ice cream and you can cool down after your hard day's passionate posting.

Connor Lewis

Fuck off jeph

Camden Nguyen

passive-aggression
Not an argument.
wat

Angel Anderson

Writefag question: how do you best manage this? It's hard to do, I find, at least on the first draft.

Justin Gray

Eliezer Yudkowsky wrote quite a bit on how to write characters well; http://yudkowsky.tumblr.com/writing/. Obviously flavored for the rationalist community, but not bad for that.

One of the critical tools to harness is empathy with others. If you don't have a mental model of how various other people think and speak, it's going to be difficult to give your own characters unique and varying voices. The best way to do that is, unfortunately, to go out and talk to people and immerse yourself in normal society. Discussion on message boards and other echo chambers just won't cut it.

Robert Myers

Try to treat your characters like real-life people. If you're writing a character who's supposed to be very different from yourself, think about WHY they are different and what life choices and circumstances made them this way. You don't have to like every character you're writing but you still need to understand why they act the way they act, otherwise they will come out flat.

That's why so many people have a hard time writing decent villains: they just slap the worst character traits on them they can imagine and don't bother trying to understand that character, so in the end they're just writing about an evil cardboard cutout.

Zachary Allen

Yudkowsky
holy fuck that guy is probably the worst writer I've ever read, apart from his whole "paranoia that omnipotent AIs that haven't been invented yet" thing he has going on

Easton James

Jeph plz go

Jackson Bell

not an argument

Heh, he thinks I'm arguing…

I think it's way past your nap time, son.
Can't have you all grumpy like this for the rest of the day.

Bentley Hughes

I've read some of his stuff. I can enjoy it, but only if I turn off my brain and pretend that people actually work that way, which is inexcusable for something that entirely focuses on dismantling the way people work.
It got really hilarious when I read his OKCupid profile.
https://archive.is/j7YaJ
The whole thing is ridiculous, but this stood out, in context:
I have a strong sexually sadistic streak, but if I don't believe she's turned on by it, it does nothing for me.
You see, Elizier wrote a faux-Japanese Light Novel called "Dark Lord's Answer".
In this story it's a plot point that there's an extremely contrived setup that makes it morally permissible for the main character to rape a girl if he wants to, because she's going to get raped by other people if he doesn't, and at the end it's revealed that she actually set it up that way herself because she's into it. And this is not a book about sex, mind you - it's about morality and economics in a generic fantasy world. But he felt the need to insert his specific fetish into it anyway.
And this is not even limited to that story. Here's something else he wrote:
https://lesswrong.com/lw/y4/three_worlds_collide_08/
It's a story about moral relativism. Humanity encounters two alien species, one of which thinks it's a moral imperative to eat babies, and the other of which is even weirder. But just presenting two alien species with awful ethics wasn't enough. He needed to make the future humans weird too. So humanity in his story thinks that - you guessed it - there is nothing unethical about rape.
It's one thing to have a rape fetish, but why the fuck would you make it a recurring theme in your writing?

Austin Kelly

Reminds me of that bit in Methods of Rationality where first year Draco Malfoy suddenly starts going on about he could rape Lovegood and get away with it. Not that there's anything wrong with giving Luna a good hard surprise dicking mind you

Dylan Hughes

GO STAB YOUR HAND SOME MORE JEPH

Anthony Price

Wikipedia says I'm an Artificial Intelligence researcher. The TVTropes page on me lists me as a Science Hero. The highest upvoted item on the Eliezer Yudkowsky Facts page says, "If you say Eliezer Yudkowsky's name 3 times out loud, it prevents anything magical from happening."
Instant boredom. I refuse to consume this sort of pretentious, unnecessarily flowery language.

The worst is when it's used in "news".
A single drop of water resting on top of a leaf
Snow melting by a lake
A sunset rolling with red, orange, and green
These are some of the beautiful things in the world
But some of that beauty was snatched away when 16 year old Lauren Smith was killed in a drunk driving accident
Fuck this pretentiousness.

John White

Who the hell is that?
If you're not arguing, then you're shitposting. I Wouldn't recommend doing that.
Oh, it's the guy who's comic you're obsessing over. Right? What is up with that?

Brandon Bennett

Gotta put that English major to work one way or another

Jacob Peterson

I will never be as upset as this poster is about people trash-talking a shitty webcomic
mfw

Lucas Powell

B team is floundering mightily.

Brody Sullivan

4x10^17
I'm guessing Jeph just copied the scientific notation from Wikipedia, since even the most autistic regard would just say "Four Hundred Quadrillion"

David Turner

nice triple double

Ryan Wilson

Reminds me of that one famous superman comic where the very last page is like "in the enlightened future, the couple became the triple" like the author had to throw in his threesome fetish at literally the last second. It was just a throwaway line but still, what the fuck

Justin James

Not an argument.

Christopher Garcia

Well, looks like he's peaked!
This is just boring now.

Is it just me, or has he actually reduced Chad's muscle mass?
Maybe he got too jealous when drawing him?
That could be the truth, but he'll cover that up by saying strong males are triggering.

And why would the autist be really embarassed by that exchange?
Fayniqua admitted she didn't know that fact, so mission accomplished, there.
And Chad said it was interesting, and being that she can't read reactions very well she'd also take that as a success.

So what is the joke here, anyway…?
"Lol! Autism makes socially awkward!"?

Benjamin Phillips

Is it just me, or has he actually reduced Chad's muscle mass?
He definitely has.

Evan Hall

I suspect that's so no-one can threaten the stature of his new, stronk, independent "female" character - Menstro.

So yeah, it's been around for a while bit now we have the independent "female" who don't need no accommodating, competent, organized employer.

Anthony James

this is just boring now
Yet you feel the need to comment. If anything, I feel you're obligated to rebut.

Jeremiah Brooks

Threadly reminder that Jeph started with the premise "combat android trying to integrate into civilian life" and somehow ended up at "fat lesbians." He never even gave her a name. Everyone just calls her "bubbles." We may have taken to calling her "Mentsro" as a derisive nickname, but at least it's actually a name.

Where exactly did this "not an argument" non-argument come from? I've seen it all over the place the last month or so. Did a bunch of summerfags just finish baby's first logic and reasoning course this last semester?

Levi Sanchez

Are all webcomic people mental fuck ups in some way?
Even the best ones(unsounded chick, lackadaisy chick, and gunnerkrigg guy) have weird fetishes
unfounded chick is yaoi fangirl with guro fetish
lackadaisy used to draw furry sonic porn
gunnerkrigg dude used to draw lesbo hebe stuff
And of course the big lolcows like the one we discuss itt are all too common. And if they aren't full on really mentally ill, they'll at least have the libshit disease.
What's wrong with webcomics?

Oliver Taylor

I'm pretty le not an argument started as a /tv/ meme

Juan Hall

lesbo hebe stuff

Yes, and?

Carter Ward

unsounded chick is yaoi fangirl with guro fetish
Say what not?

William Watson

Yeah, the rape thing is really off-putting. I wasn't aware that he was that weird about his status. Ugh.

I think I'm getting too unjaded to enjoy modern fiction; it's become way too dark for my tastes. Every story I read about seems to involve rape and mutilation happening to sympathetic characters without karmic payoff. Maybe I'm just a wuss, but I can't stomach that stuff like I did when I was younger.

Case in point, I stopped reading Unsounded mostly because of the magic smuggling stuff. I mean, I read quite a bit past it, but every time I remembered that it was going on in the story, it darkened everything. The thought of kids being ripped apart and stuffed with black magic that ate them from the inside out kinda wore on me.

It's like everyone has to prove how "adult" and "realistic" their fantasy stories are, so they make everyone absolute bastards without any shred or decency, and refuse to entertain the idea of karmic justice which is most of the reason I'm even interested in these stories.. And a few that don't, like that tumblr Zelda fancomic (A Tale of Two Rulers?) goes so hard in the other direction that it's actually insulting (for example, in the comic, Ganon (who has married Zelda) finds out she was raped as a child and it was covered up. So he decides to slaughter all the rapists that the kingdom has imprisoned in the massive jail that a medieval society can somehow support. The layers of ignorance about the technology and society involved are staggering; it's like the writer honestly believed that the only reason people in those times didn't jail people was ignorance and cruelty). If their readers want a story about bad things happening to good people while wrongdoers get off scot free, they should go read a fucking history book, and stop fucking with escapist literature.

I blame the popularity of George R R Martin.

Angel Ward

I blame the popularity of George R R Martin.

Spot on there. And it continues to meander without a solid payoff because by the end you just hate everybody involved.

FUCK your moral relativism bullshit. Gimme somebody to room for. PLEASE! What's so bad about being engaged? Why must I loath everybody equally?

Jaxson Martin

I think I'm getting too unjaded to enjoy modern fiction

I feel you there. For years I've been getting more and more sick of the insincere tone that pervades contemporary fiction. I'm sick of fiction trying to prove how """"mature"""" it is by creating worlds that are as deliberately ugly as possible. I'm sick of every fucking thing having to be some kind of meta-aware "clever subversion." I just want to see some stories that feel like they're coming from a sincere, heartfelt place.

Nathan Morris

I'm sick of fiction trying to prove how """"mature"""" it is by creating worlds that are as deliberately ugly as possible.
don't feel bad, anti-semitism is common on Holla Forums

Tyler Morales

Isn't it a Molyneux meme?

Austin Clark

Don't worry, heroes will return sooner or later. Probably sooner rather than later.

Anthony Turner

I hear it a lot from anarcho-capitalists. "Not an argument" is pretty much Stefan Molyneux's catch phrase. It has evolved into a bad faith hand-waiving argument time waster. You can bring an iron-clad counter and it'll be rejected as "not an argument" if all your sources aren't considered 100% pure by your opponent, which of course they won't be if he disagrees with you.

Ayden Kelly

I like dark fiction but not all of it has to be dark. I remember reading a scathing review of Galaxy Quest that hammered it for being a comedy instead of dark sci-fi, which apparently was an early concept for the movie. The author was earnestly claiming that dark sci-fi was something we lacked. Granted it was 1999 and thus relatively early on in the trend but even back then sci-fi was increasingly bleak and drab looking. Something humorous and energetic was welcomed by me. I'm not a huge fan of the Star Trek reboot but at least with the first one they tried something more upbeat and lively.

worlds that are as deliberately ugly as possible
I thought we agreed we wouldn't talk about Prometheus.

I'm sick of every fucking thing having to be some kind of meta-aware "clever subversion."
I'm fucking sick of the unreliable protagonist. The Six Sense pulls it off and since then we've had 20 years of movies whose plot is "You know all that stuff in the first 100 minutes? It's all made up. The protagonist is crazy or dreaming. Time for a lobotomy or something!"

Hell, even Jeph tried (very weakly) at something like this with the whole memories thing.

Asher Hernandez

unreliable protagonist
*unreliable narrator

Kayden Morris

unreliable narrator
*unreliable anonymous poster

Mason Jackson

Hey Elliot.
Marten.
Shit, I thought it was Dora.

Jacob Wright

no homo

Alexander Campbell

His hair looks the same even though he turned 90°. Did his hair slide around? I answered my own question by looking at the artist credit.

Also, I'm sure that the club was supposed to be a subtle joke about penis size, but Jeph approached it with his usual subtlety by having it jutting out in front of his waist.

Isaac Clark

It has evolved into a bad faith hand-waiving argument time waster.
This is not an argument.

Zachary Young

He thinks antisemitism is ugly.
It's beautiful, user. If you don't hate that which seeks to destroy all you love, you don't truely love it. Hatred is just a reflection of love.

A lot of sageing and shilling in this thread, btw.

So Jeph's totally open about the fact that it was a shakedown? Apparently crime is "cute".

It appears that Elliot's diminished muscles will be a permanent feature.

Eli Green

Pretty accurate, actually.

Levi Walker

it's almost like you didn't get the joke, user expressed at disgust at (((people))) who make ugly art, we all know that's anti-semitism :^)

Eli Edwards

kek, where'd you find that?

Jace Gutierrez

New face.

Kevin Gomez

Plot twist! Black Faye is an asshole, and Martens tranny girlfriend gets angry at nothing, news at 11.

I wonder if Stabby thinks that people really behaves like that ("hey guy I never seen for ages, i'm gonna talk shit about you, and you know what? Your boyfriend pretending to be your girlfriend is gonna listen and belive ME instead of defending YOU, Ah ah ah") or he just cannot into plots

Gavin Allen

clarence suddenly develops a personality
its snide unlikeable cunt

Connor Martin

ditzy flaky girl sends Marten mixed signals
Marten burns out
Marten thinks he is the asshole
Faye thinks Marten is the asshole
Dora thinks Marten is the asshole
R'nee thinks Marten is the asshole
Clarence thinks Marten is the asshole

Though, really, pretty shit writing to have someone like anxiety-ridden, acceptance-stared Clarence flip on a dime on the one dude that gave >her a chance. Wasn't >her concern merely with Marten's buy-in, not with whatever past relationships?

Real talk, feminine penis aside, this is the biggest problem with trannies: they exemplify simultaneously the worst aspect of both genders: male brutishness and female hypergamy

Cooper Hall

Questionable Decisions

His best defense is to just say "We had to break up because she moved away". All he has to do is say this very simple line of dialogue and R'në no longer has a platform to lambast him any more.

Nolan Allen

There's a lot of both antisemitism and "antisemitism" on Holla Forums, so I don't know if it works. I thought you were unironically whining about antisemitism on Holla Forums and posted something I thought might trigger you. Not 100% wrong, though.

Someone she hasn't seen in a long time walks in to her store with his >girlfriend. Her first reflex is to retell humiliating stories to >her.

Liam Brown

I feel like I just read your comment on YouTube, on their #MoreThanARefugee propaganda video, explaining to a concern troll that the ironic "(((antisemitism)))" in the comments pales in comparison to the actual antisemitism imported with the "refugees".

Jordan Ross

All hands on neck!

Thomas Wood

I actually *don't* know how to interpret that facial expression.

And once again, all the females and >females are being cunts, but that's A-OK!

Why would Clairence be so interested in that, anyway? He wants to know how much of an "idiot" his boyfriend is? That same boyfriend who accepted his derangement immediately, without any questions at all, bent over for him at the drop of a hat, and basically lets him do anything and everything?
Shit, I'd fully expect him to have a chastity cage round Marten's cock at this point.

As a side note, I don't think Jeph actually wants Marten in the story any more.
He appears less and less, and judging by today's strip I don't think he likes drawing him, either.
Everyone else is getting constantly revised and redesigned to be "cuter" (see, "fatter"), but even by Jeph's standards, Marten looks fucking awful.

Nathan Reed

That's the facial expression of a man who just realized he really has nothing to live for. I hope we get a Marten suicide arc, he's probably the only character Jeph could kill off with no fuss from the peanut gallery.

Anthony Brown

If he killed himself off, the arc would focus on the "sarcasm" from everyone else and then the actual funeral would be forgotten for some other shitty arc.

Oliver Murphy

Or he gets stabbed slightly offscreen, then they have a timeskip and he's never mentioned again.

Daniel Evans

Nope. If Marten kills himself, that story arc will be all about Faye's emotional turmoil over the fact that the men in her life are driven to suicide. Maybe other characters will be involved, but they will only be in the story to show how people react to Faye's mental trauma.

As a side note, I don't think Jeph actually wants Marten in the story any more.
He appears less and less, and judging by today's strip I don't think he likes drawing him, either.
Silly user, Jeph doesn't like drawing anything.

Austin Clark

The real victims in the aftermath of Marten's suicide would be the Muslims.

Wait, why aren't there any Muzzies in this? Seems a good way to more Patreon bux.

Brody Reyes

And he would completely miss the fact that the only common denominator in both cases was Faye.

Brody Taylor

Potential conflict defused immediately.

Jayden Gutierrez

Didn't even take the whole strip, was resolved in panel 3 of 5.

It's amazing how much better Jeph's backgrounds were in the mid-2000s. Everything is just right angles here.

Also, nice revisionism from Dora. Marten didn't have the problem, she did. In spades.
marten do you like me
yes
really like me
yes
really really like me
yes
super really like me
jesus dora
omg you're so insecure and pining for faye
what are you on about, fuck

Nolan Torres

Hey. I love you. I don't want to be with anyone else.
Marten's facial expression in that panel suggests otherwise.

Clarence's face continues to be punchable as hell.

Asher Price

Marten's facial expression in that panel suggests otherwise.
Nah, he was telling the truth. Just he was actually talking to the ceiling.

John Long

Maybe he's too scared about them?

Imagine he adds a muslim woman (because of course it will be a woman). He'll either
1. Have her act exactly like the other characters, showing that there's no difference between muslims and the rest of us
which muslims might not like because she'll do and tolerate haram things, or
2: Make the muslim different from the others
which SJWs won't like, because it implies we're not all the same.

I think he can't do #2 because he knows SJWs will hate it and he can't do #1 because he's scared of muslims.

So >she snoops around in his history against his wishes and immediately makes it about >herself? Of course, Marten is too much of a pussy to get upset.

It's polyphobia.

It's a ceiling much like the one he'll use to hang the rope.

Joshua Johnson

So Marten just stayed drinking alone while an asshole girl he had 't seen in ages talks shit about him behind his back with his new girlboyfriend?

I think he just graduated to sub-omega….

Charles Lewis

Yet more insights into Jeph's wonderful love life, perhaps?

Asher Edwards

What the fuck is up with Clarence sitting down at arm's length from Marten and then lunging at him? Is Jeph trying to imply that >she is borderline or something?

Dominic Russell

Marten's reaction to being asked if he still misses Padma is kinda odd, too. Like genuine panic at the question - he throws his hands up and splashes his drink all over the place.

It's like he's really walking on eggshells around his >girlfriend, knowing that the slightest provocation could send >her spiralling into a hormonally imbalanced screaming fit.

If any normal person in a healthy relationship was asked that, the reply would be at least flat, possibly sneering, or maybe even something along the lines of "Do I, fuck."

Alternatively, could be he actually does miss her. What with being a real female and all, with a working pussy and everything. His reaction could be seen as suspiciously, overly-defensive…

Nolan Sanders

beyond tedious

Logan Taylor

over there wth that guy
Quality Jacques straight out the gate

these bizarre fucking perspectives that make no sense if you think about them
that god damn painting in the background that isn't consistent from panel to panel
that dumb p-value joke at the end
You're turning into XKCD's Randall, Jeph, except unlike the annoying cretin Randall you're a charlatan who doesn't know shit. I bet you don't even know what a null hypothesis is without googling it.

LE FUNNY NERD JOKE xD

Owen Rodriguez

Shit, didn't take long for Eyebrows Chick to go from at least having a sketch of a personality to another sadface-making Hannelore-clone did it

Noah Evans

that god damn painting in the background that isn't consistent from panel to panel
When he chooses to redraw, it's the wrong things.

Ryder Sanchez

Every day I am reminded of the regret that I bought a poster and shirt from stabby's store years ago.

Jason Gonzalez

unlike the annoying cretin Randall you're a charlatan who doesn't know shit
unlike

Elijah Ortiz

Randall may be an overhyped expert on "science", but he's way smarter than Jeph. Do you think Jeph could determine the value of a convergent geometric series? I haven't even studied statistics and I can tell you his p-value joke is a total non-sequitur used to make him sound smart.

Caleb Gray

If you still have them then it's time to post pics.

Bentley Howard

This.

I also want to know how many times you've worn them outside where people could see you.

Camden Lopez

Underrated post. He knows that in order to be a good person, he needs to see Claire as equally feminine as a real woman. He knows this is true, because he learned it in school and everyone he knows believes it; but he still can't shake the feeling that something is wrong. His insecurity and anxiety stems from his fear that his feelings might lead him astray, and of ostracization.

Martin is the real hero of this comic despite it all, and it's not a comedy, it's a tragedy about the struggle between truth and dogma, between independence and popularity.

FFS. Jerf Jackanape knows pic related is going to happen, but he's going to draw it out for another 16 quintillion strips, of only perhaps three of which will end up actually being relevant.

Elijah Scott

Not necesarily. It might be the case that they before that happens, his fanbase decides that it's not progressive enough, and that Clinton should date, for example, a man instead. That's what happened to Martin and his last (real) girlfriend, if I recall correctly.

Blake Carter

Even if it were written in plain form with no obfuscating equation, do banks even accept checks for a fraction of a cent?

Charles Anderson

Makes it sound kinda like a hipster version of 1984.

One day, Marten might be locked in a cell because Faye heard him shout "There are only 2 genders!" in his sleep.

Austin Sullivan

e^{i pi} = -1
sum_{i=1)^inf 1/2^i = 1
The result equals
0.002 - 1 + 1 = 0.002
Why the 0.002? I don't actually think Randall understood what he was doing here. He probably put the sum into som calculator that made a numerical approximation so that he thought
sum_{i=1)^inf 1/2^i = 0.998

Meanwhile, in the ministry of tradition:
"How many genders am I holding up, Martin?"

Jacob Powell

There's a point - whatever happened to Brun's shutdowns?

I thought it was that if she was in an awkward situation she just shut down rather than say anything.
Couple of pages ago she tries and fails to entertain everyone with her facts; surely that would have been a textbook shutdown point?

Henry Johnson

$\exp{i \pi}$ is (a small change to) the "I fucking love science" of mathematics, the formula that people proclaim to be the most beautiful that gets printed on T-shirts and coffee mugs and everything.
$\sum_{n=1}^\infty \frac{1}{2^n}$ is babby's first convergent infinite sum. Seriously, lots of people know that one before they know the notation.

Jeph's joke is dumb and awkwardly phrased but not outright wrong. The "p-value for Clinton's crush on Brun" would be the probability he would show all these signs of having a crush if he didn't actually have a crush (the probability of the observations if the hypothesis were false). If it's low enough then that's evidence for the hypothesis that Clinton has a crush on Brun. You can tell he doesn't use the word "p-value" often, and it's entirely possible he got it right by coincidence, but it checks out.

Connor Sanders

It's a mystery. On the one hand, one doesn't usually pull out a geometric series on a check, complete with sigma notation, without knowing the exact answer beforehand. Make a mistake and you've just paid Verizon infinite money. On the other hand, two tenths of a cent doesn't work either. Unless he wanted to give them "my two cents" and forgot how much a cent is.

Eli Martinez

It's so weird. Every time I see an older strip from handstab, I think "man, things did look better back then". But it keep happening every 50 strips or so. Why is he devolving so much, it hurts. Why is he constantly destroying characters? Why handtab, why.

Jaxon Ramirez

This really needs an edit!

Instead of that caveman bullshit, Clit would be thinking of Chad there in the throes of sexual ecstasy with Brun.
To rub salt in the wound, she'd be smiling. With eyes wide open.

Tyler Morales

he obviously fucked up, but it doesn't matter because no bank is even going to cash a check that says (3-1) dollars, much less this shit. they'll ask for a clearly readable value.
randall is just dunning-kruger, jeph just heard something on twitter and parroted it.

What is that notation? It looks like LaTeX but not quite.

you've just paid Verizon infinite money.
The news articles would be hilarious if this happened.

Every time I see an older strip from handstab, I think "man, things did look better back then".
Especially the backgrounds. They're getting even more drab and angular.

Ayden Miller

I messed up the e exponentiation, but otherwise it's LaTeX.

Jace Diaz

The point of the check was to make fun of the "nobody at Verizon knows the difference between a cent and a fraction of a cent" hoopla several years ago. He wrote a check to Verizon for $0.002 using some non-elementary math as a joke or maybe to make some sort of point about how much smarter he is than them. Why he wrote a check for 0.2¢ when the event he was referencing was about 0.02¢ I don't know. Carter Johnson grey skies are gonna clear up, put on a happy face………. Owen Cox no tail wag avoiding eye contact flinching upon contact submissive, unmoving, body language look of absolute terror in her eyes not making any kind of sounds Well then, if there was any doubt that that fuck Jeff Jackoff is abusing his dog this makes it all too clear. Cooper Barnes I have never seen a dog act like that towards their owner. Only adds credence to the claim that he is abusing/neglecting Shelby… Brandon Young When are we rescuing Shelby fampai Charles Reed That poor dog. I'd like to beat the shit out of this faggot for whatever he did to it. Owen Hernandez whatever he did Oh, but we know exactly what he does already. Matthew Ortiz Is this a meme, or is there actual proof, even circumstantial that he fucks his dog? Austin Myers It started as a joke when Jeph posted a picture of his dog after a bath and her hind fur was wet and in disarray. Somebody joked that Jeph had fucked his dog and we all had a laugh. Then we started joking about more pictures where it could be implied that he had fucked his dog, including some of Jeph's Twitter messages that could be taken out of context to mean the same. It became a meme amongst the anons that frequent this thread: Jeph is a dogfucker who posts about it on Twitter to stealth brag about it. The problem was, as soon as we started paying attention to pictures and posts involving Shelby, we quickly realized that she was not a happy dog. Videos like which were posted by Jeph himself show that this dog that he has owned for a long time is apathetic towards him and even has moments of fear. It wasn't just that these pictures and videos came from when she was having a bad day, either. Every single piece of media that involves Shelby shows us an unhappy dog. Even more disturbing is the fact that long time dog owner Jeph does not pick up on this behavior. He sees her flinching, gaze aversion, submissive posturing, fearful looks, silence, and lack of tail wagging and thinks that this is normal. Dogs don't act that way around people they like, and even children can pick up on these expressions and realize something is up. When a dog acts that way and their owner doesn't think anything is wrong, it is very likely that the owner is the source of the dog's behavior issues. They say that pets resemble their owners, but this is because their owner is a pet's whole world. Everything they do is centered on the human who feeds and cares for them, especially for a pet that spends a vast majority of their time indoors. When their human mistreats them, this is clearly shown in their expression. TL; DR: Shelby looks and acts like an abused animal, and Jeph is the only human that she spends a lot of time with. Jason King We tried to meme magic another handstab and got him to abuse his dog instead. Not our proudest work. Asher Parker It really probably is our fault. Jace King I've never seen the ear-flattening thing that Shelby does in the first few seconds of the first video. Like she's trying to block his voice out. I wouldn't be surprised if Jeph dons a Goofy mask and bursts into the room shouting "IT'S SHELBY TIME!" Connor Mitchell poor doggo Nathan Jackson as a joke or maybe to make some sort of point about how much smarter he is than them. Or to show how much he fucking loves science. William Morris unfortunately, memes are jokes and jokes about jeph being a terrible person are funnier than jokes about good things. meme magic isn't a toy. Daniel Harris Thanks for the explanation, and you're spot on about dog behavior reflecting the attitude of its owner. However, I will point out that when dogs get old, they're not quite as happy or spry, so that COULD be it. Depends on how old the dog is. So he could be abusing the dog, the dog could be old, or both. Fuck him either way, though. Zachary James Yeap. Jeff was quite effectively playing a flirting game between the functional autisic tall asian chick and the dysfunctional autistic indie pop boy before the fanbase went "Aw, he should have a passion for the dick instead!!" Blake King Or Jeph could introduce a new robot character for him to hook up with.The Menstro/Faye thing hasn't shown up for a while. Robert Torres Old dogs still have clear favorable reactions to people they like. Shelby is unresponsive to Jeph until he starts messing with her when she clearly starts projecting distress. Jackson Thompson Yeah. It's simultaneously sad and cute when an old dog struggles to get up with his bad hips to greet his owner. At the very least he'll swivel his head. I mean, Shelby doesn't even think there's a possibility of a treat. Every dog will pay attention to you when you call his name for at least that reason. Dylan Russell Ardent, who went missing First class writing, Jeph. Glad you took half a month to deliver this quality. Benjamin Clark I can't quite wrap my head around this. I get the concept of disrespecting someone by not calling him by name, but white people names? Does calling someone Bill or Eric really sting more than Tyrone or Leeroy? I really doubt it. Nicholas Edwards Also, how much longer do we have to stare at this fucking background? Even Blue Marten wants a scene change. Jackson Carter I have nfc what he's talking about but calling someone Jim because you can't be assed to know their real name has been a thing since at least like the 40s Samuel Moore (how ironic) They hate the white race to the point they want it to be snuffed out and replaced by shitskin mongrels and western culture to be abolished in favor of Sharia Law. What's there to get? Easton Thompson nyah nyah I'm calling you white people names I don't get how he thinks anyone will be insulted by this, especially when the average person's bant games is orders of magnitudes above this and any retort would send Jeph to the psychiatric ward. Easton Price Yeah, take that ''Clarence'.' Ryan Edwards Three of the ones from Earth Christ, this reads horribly. And for a governing AI or whatever the fuck, it doesn't seem very sure of itself, or anything for that matter. Ayden Thompson It reminds me of 90s RPGs translated by native Japanese speaks. Owen Edwards Sharia Law is good because it removes interest from loans This is like saying "Getting robbed is a good thing because you don't have to pack as much when you move". William Roberts It depends. What if they're robbers only interested in the stuff you don't care about and are too lazy to throw out? I'd love those kinds of robbers. Isaiah Torres Just like I would love Islamic fanatics that want democratic nonviolent societal change. But that's not what we get in real life, is it? Jason Perry equivalent exchange this is a JoJo reference Josiah Rogers Equivalent Exchange JoJo There is some of that in JoJo, but you forgot about another anime that the Facebook crowd loves. Connor Walker Jeph's the kind of guy that likes ketchup with his steak. Jason Evans That one facebook crowd Fuck off, it's too good for them. Carson Foster he likes his steak well done Is every single aspect of this guys existence pure shit? Nolan Gonzalez cooking any more than the outside of your meats cooking any more than the bare minimum to keep in all that juicy flavor as an aside, Chicken is the worst meat because you cannot undercook it and lose that juiciness in the process. Tastes like sand every time unless it's fried Jayden Thomas speaking of pure shit Evan Campbell "He might not be a complete asshole." Daily reminder this fat nigger sow was fucking around while her "friend"'s establishment was on fire and didn't even bother to call her until whole days had passed, all while Clit was helping the autist find temporary residence and making sure she was okay. And even then Nigger Faye had the audacity to try and turn IPP against Clit for basically no reason. Bravo Jeph, you have finally created a character more loathsome than Faye and/or Dora. Tyler Scott I'm not sure how old handstab's dog is, but I got an 8 year old and a 10 year old dog, and I would consider them old. When you call out to them, they look up at you with a sparkle in their eyes. When you bend down to pet them, they rag their tails and open their mouth a bit with a smile. The 10 year old is a small dog, and he'll happily jump onto your lap to cuddle with you simply because he's happy to be with you. Shelby is abused, neglected, and/or raped. There is no other explanation. Austin Martin Is there a single good quality to Jeph? Any at all? Ryan Sullivan He's going to die in your lifetime. Jacob Reyes I don't know if it counts, but when he mutilates himself it's good for us because it's funny. Noah Gray Ardent, who went missing How many fucking Ardents are there that Ayy needs to specify? Is it just senile and needs to exposit to itself about what it is looking at? Jose Diaz Only Jeph could draw attention away from caveman John C. Reilly in the background. Mason Allen Piercing were a mistake. Alexander Nelson them dead and soulless eyes Henry Rogers He's like this in nearly every shot. Juan Young You know, they say dogs look like their owners…I think the mystery of Shelby can now be explained, without resorting to the old dog rape tale. Matthew Cruz what that girl on the left is thinking omg it's jeph jacques, author of my favorite webcomic hey can I get a picture cheese… hm, he's actually really creepy something really off about him gotta keep smiling hurry up with the picture… Julian Brown nfc Stop talking like you just got out of facebook, Tyrone. Isaiah Powell And you, as the source of said discontinuity are most certainly a danger. Why? Attacking whites again, are you, Schlomo? Actually, do we know if Jeph is jewihs? That tweet sends of the same vibes as (((dear fellow white people))) to me. Sharia Law is good because it removes interest from loans It's pretty short sighted as well. It completely removes the incentives to lend money, which will make it extremely difficult to borrow. I'm sure you could make arguments from either position, but to just say "I don't want to pay more money back, therefore it's good!" is just asinine. It's like saying that you shouldn't be able to force people to pay back borrowed money, and justify it by saying "Sounds good to not have to pay back, right?". Fullmetal Alchemist (Brotherhood?) Good Caleb Cook FMA is absolutely good that's it that's all I had to say Landon Gutierrez This "love triangle" is such a pathetic shitshow. The whole point of love triangles is usually to have the two guys fight over the girl but of course we can't have that here since that would be "objectifying women" or some shit, so all Clinton and not-Chad are gonna do is whine all day about how they're too unworthy to not be cucked by the other until the autist ditches both of them. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if somehow it turns out she was a lesbian all along and they end up having gay sex with each other to get over her, since it's Jeph we're talking about here. Christopher White Alice Grove is like a lesson in how not to craft a world. In a properly functioning sci-fi/fantasy thing, when a reveal happens the audience goes, "Ohhh, right! That makes sense! Because of that thing in season 2…." In Jeph's world(s) everything is vague and isn't explained or even hinted at until after it ceases to be relevant or interesting. Everything is post hoc, the entire "basis" is retconned. Despite claiming that he planned the thing for years before committing to (digital) ink, it's blatantly obvious the whole thing is done on the fly. Therefore, whatever explanation he comes up with will be wholly unsatisfactory and won't explain prior actions and behavior. I'll laugh my ass off if he goes the "Space Jesus" route. Liam Perry Jeez, he's nice and he looks cool To be cool you have to be confident. A paranoid, schizophrenic escapee from a rape dungeon would happily step up, spit in Clit's face and steal his lunch money. I did not sign up to officiate some bullshit sad-sack inverse dick-measuring contest tonight And she's supposed to be a friend? There really is nothing worse than an uppity nigger. Easton Long Too bad Brotherhood was such shit. Levi Lopez I will fight you. Easton Wilson Do it, bitch nigga. Justin Cox What a shit opinion For shame Juan Hill The only thing Brotherhood did right was develop Bradley. Everything else was garbage. Ya'll can take your mangos and toss them in a fire, the first animu was clearly superior. Jace Hernandez The only thing Brotherhood does wrong is speeding up the pacing in the beginning to catch up to where the manga plot diverted from the first animu. The first animu would be okay if it didn't go retarded with the animu original plot. Jaxon Edwards The only thing Brotherhood does wrong is everything. ftfy Levi Reyes Excuse you, Jesus is too western and white for Jeph's story. I think you mean "Space Mithra". And I'm sure Jeph knows literally nothing about that Mithra beyond what he could "learn" from that old-ass image that claimed the Jesus story was stolen from other gods, ending each explanation with a "oh snap". Tyler Davis And I'm sure Jeph knows literally nothing about that Mithra beyond what he could "learn" from that old-ass image that claimed the Jesus story was stolen from other gods To be somewhat fair, most of the Bible is just kikes ripping off from other myths andrewriting history. Noah was an Ut-Napishtim ripoff, to cite but one example. Of course Jeph doesn't know that, though. Bentley Fisher how progressives think the bible is a bunch of nonsense invented by primitive sand people islam is awesome and so are the middle easterners who follow it Lincoln Walker I know, lot of old stories/myths are connected because someone ripped off of someone else. Jeph, however, will just use this as an excuse to attack his own race (again) and claim to be more diverse than he really is. Ethan Anderson I bet this is leading to a tension poin t that will be resolved in the following strip before cutting away to another set of characters discussing what they had to eat today. Andrew Wright I liked the original plot of the 2003 anime. I think both series had their strengths, kind of like how Hellsing and Hellsing Ultimate both have their strengths and weaknesses. Or Hunter X Hunter 1998 vs. HXH 2015 Or Berserk 97… well, there's no contest on that being better animation wise. What I'm trying to say is that it's just a matter of taste. Isaiah Nelson honestly, this ones kinda funny if you remove chad Lucas Cooper Your opinion is bad and you should feel bad you faggot Gavin Thompson I bet you think Nina deserved it too. Monster faggot Austin Miller Are marshmallows candy? Alexander Nelson Shut up, Chad. Lincoln Sanchez I'm hoping it leads to drunk sex, but it'll probably just lead to more bullshit with Chad instead of just resolving the romance. Angel Jackson beautiful Connor Miller Chad just needs to hook up wit dat thicc piece of juicy nigger flesh R'neh. Who we all know by way of CRAFTY EXPOSITION already has some form of crush on BIG FUCKING CHAD. Thereby meeting Hacks's quota of DIVERSE RELATIONSHIPS THAT SATISFY TUMBLR AND PATREON FANS. Hunter White I'm busy with work today, but with a little effort I'm sure this could be edited to have Brun stabbing Clit in the neck. Tyler Wright They're in the candy/confection chapter of Joy of Cooking, so yes. Parker Diaz Are we now going to have a more assertive Clit fucking Chad up the ass, not for pleasure but to teach him a lesson? Jonathan Ortiz I liked that, so I brushed it up a little. Hunter White Is that your fetish? Ethan Martin What use is a robot hand that is crushed far more easily than a regular hand? Joshua Robinson I found that mildly amusing. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?! Henry Cooper Unless Elliot is a terminator, he shouldn't be able to crush a piece of metal that's full of other pieces of metal. If he is, though, that could be interesting. Nothing is wrong. People normally laugh at things that are too stupid to believe. Gavin Perry Again vith zee theme of injury to zee hand. Interestink. Xavier Price Either Elliot is a deep undercover terminator or Clit got a budget hand that is more fragile than a real one but barely took a month's worth of pay. Either way: Dominic Ward So I guess Stabby will get Faye and Menstro in this arch? They repair robots, Clit has a robot hand that has been crushed by Dumbinator and 2+2=4? Will we see a Mentro/Dumbinator relationship? Bentley Ross Elliot crushes Clinton's hand We roll our eyes Jeph goes out of his way to establish that Elliot is abnormally strong Group goes to Union Robotics Nobody believes that Elliot is actually that strong Menstro decides to arm wrestle him He completely overpowers her Everyone is amazed Menstro's panties hit the floor They begin an S&M driven relationship This has potential. Jeremiah Foster Reddit sucks but once in a while they make sense. And this "plot development" is just to get everything back into the coffee shop by linking through the robot repair shop. Austin Robinson isn't the hand canon cheap ass 3d printed stuff? i could swear i remember that being a thing like 5 years ago. Isaiah Sanders What do you think Elliot's hand is made of, Holla Forums? Papier-mâché? Plastic? Styrofoam? This. Dylan White Plebbit made me laugh for once and now I feel kind of dirty and confused. Is this what rape feels like? Aaron Carter i coulda sworn he said it was 3d printed im still looking but heres something i threw together while looking for the answer. Benjamin Thompson I checked the reddit thread, and apparently Elliot explicitly says he prefers the robot hand to not have a covering, so if (when) Jeph makes the hand human, it will not only be lazy, but also contradict Elliot's character. Carson Allen It's just character development :^) Samuel Jackson Holy fucking shit. Compare this strip to one of the latest strips. Talk about a reminder of how much his art has degraded. Chase Fisher 6 garriion years in mspaint Oliver Harris Just a nit-pick, but given Chad's background as a bouncer, I think he'd be telling the couple of idiots shouting and flailing their arms around, in an otherwise quiet bar (must be a real faggy place to have modern art on the walls, too), that maybe they've had enough and they might want to calm it down a bit. Robert Gray Yeah but they're his friends and one of them is the lady he might or might not want to bang. Daniel Turner I'd love to see a Twitter battle between Jeph and Moly. Austin Sullivan I understand it's Jeph, but with all the proselytizing about addictions, mental health, and self-destructive behaviors he'd realize long before pressing "send" on this Tweet that this is the exact opposite thing a man who is pushing 40 and has battled lifelong crippling and self-destructive depression should be doing. Andrew Phillips What's with e-celebs and twitter? I remember Jim was abusing twitter when he was in his content slope. I understand that twitter is libshit central but this mans opinions are really shitty. John Mitchell Twitter's entire structure fosters e-celeb behavior. I wouldn't be surprised if this were by explicit design. There was already Facebook for family & friends, Reddit for news and general forums, MySpace for bands (at the time), etc. But there was no network for normie celebrities who were starting to get onto the internet because World of Warcraft was the in-thing at the time. Ian Long I find it amusing that Jeph's lack of self-awareness applies to reader submissions. Every piece of random fanart he posts to his timeline is of better quality than what he produces, even if they're just colored-in doodle type stuff like this. Colton Watson At least Jeph tried a non-flat angle. Lincoln Anderson pretzel:$7.50
burger: $1.00 cheese and/or bacon on the burger:$16.00
Apparently Massachusetts is inhabited by people with absolutely no sense of economic value.

Jose Reed

So.. is this a faggot story?

Robert Brooks

You're mostly right, and it's especially bad in Northampton - largely due to the SJW infestation that is the Smith student body.

Gavin Foster

Im pretty sure ones -5 dollars

Logan Barnes

Clits about to use his metal fist for something other than punching

Levi Rogers

jeph always does that though, where he introduces a character and then totally subverts their actions by arbitrarily changing their personality. hannelore, the OCD character, was introduced following jeph's sad insert into the bathroom. the autist bartender has the most social job on the planet and could never pull it off given the amount of neurosis she later displays

Henry Clark

I read it as "mushroom(s): $0.50", which would make it one of the only entries that made any sense. An$11 BBQ Pork (sandwich, presumably) "special" is pricey but not unheard of, though pushing it for what looks like a mid-end bar for people with only a little bit of money.

I actually can't tell if it was a subtle joke or if Jeph just wrote the numbers at random.

Brandon Flores

Woah, Jeph!
The chalkboard is interfering with the bubbles coming out of Brun and Clit's heads!

How are we supposed to know they're drunk if we can't see the bubbles?
We might almost think they're completely sober, and that just doesn't make any sense.

Ryan Martinez

oh yeah, twitter actively induces a cancerous mindset.
lonely people install twitter on their phone
phone beeps with a meme or asspat periodically
'hey, it's like i have friends'
add in the circlejerk mentality that comes straight from myspace (you add me, i'll add you, you retweet me, i'll retweet you) and it gets out of hand very quickly. GGers would notice back in the day that anons who started using twitter all the time couldn't help posting here like they were tweeting.

Henry Carter

Jim's "FinDumb" video marks a trend. These people aren't even trying anymore.

Joseph Torres

I'm not gonna lie, when I heard I could call faggots faggots and tell them what worthless failures they are and be paid obscene amounts of money for it I was a little tempted to try it myself.

Jack Clark

giving money to queer people

So, I paying a lesbian to jerk me off, that kind of thing?
I'd prefer getting jerked off to fucking one, to be honest; the thought of them possibly deriving any pleasure from the act is kinda off-putting.

Thomas Wood

the bouncer is literally crying

Caleb Turner

Looks like the bouncer has also shrunk, once again.
At this rate, in a couple of weeks he'll just be a taller Marten with a different hair colour - he's got like no muscles at all, now.

Hudson Smith

Even if he doesn't, I guarantee he'll be in charge of not being able to lift the heavy things to show how heavy they are and losing fights to show how tough his opponent is.

Joseph Phillips

copypaste lightbulbs

Evan Richardson

It could be worse.

Colton Campbell

Hm, why would you need to know that, Jeph?

Ethan Flores

Why do people do disgusting tattoos like that?
Do they want to not be taken seriously by anyone really bad and they figure this is the easiest way to achieve that? Do they feel a huge need to act like children while demanding to be treated like adults? Do they want to feel like they belong to some sort of ghetto, jail or lower class culture to escape their middle class ennui? Are they just stupid?

Hm, why would you need to know that, Jeph?
I get the joke, but in all seriousness it might have something to do with Clinton's crushed hand.

First pic
Could someone please point out the stabwound on that picture for me? I don't see it.

If you think that's bad, check out his face.

Charles Bennett

He stabbed the left hand longer ago than the right one and the injury was comparatively minor.

Blake Perez

Could someone please point out the stabwound on that picture for me?
You can see a faint line just below his middle finger. The main reason he got the tatoo was so that he could hide it.
It was a stupid move, really. Hand injuries are very common for people to have, so virtually nobody would even think twice about it if they saw it. He just made himself look like an idiot.

Justin James

high quality joke

Leo Flores

All his shitty opinions make sense now

Luis Kelly

(Jeph's avatar in pic)
I can understand Jeph having sophomoric humor with the constant butt and fart jokes, but the frequency and ubiquity feels more like pic related.

Chase Phillips

I thought for a second that knot was the light shining through his hand.

Which would have made the whole thing much more awesome than anything else Stabby has done.

Jackson Evans

He's raping that dog.

Carter Jenkins

i dunno i chuckled a bit then again i regularly laugh at porn games because there someone somewhere making these and the thought "does that cum look good enough?" has probably occurred numerous times. same with any time drawn porn stuff someone put pen to paper or stylus to tablet to make this and its hilarious

Lincoln Collins

I bet someone's done a cum tutorial.

Googling "How to draw cum" yields an easy step-by-step tutorial.

Owen Miller

More jokes from Jeph.

Jaxson Edwards

This is some next level shit. I don't know how anyone can lack objectivity to such a huge degree.

Jack Hughes

Jesus fucking Christ, I've met trannies who are less dense than this guy.

Jose Cooper

Can lutheran skeleton about. But retro.
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Than centro at environmental cache on zum status investigations.

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Get business literary october ears federal business use bidding clippers playoffs spare.
Their software georges on feminine is garage technology website total find an early we am final news average save chalet vegetable surgical attention government there.

Julian Ross

Fuck off Bui

Kevin Morales

Is this a plot twist? I can't tell.

Jack Foster

This is a science fiction topic I really, really like.
Let's see how Jeph fucks it up.

Elijah Moore

the realities within the Praeses are ontologically identical to the reality we currently live in
I don't get philosophy much but didn't Jeph just manage to turn
the simulations are as real are this universe
into
the simulations are this universe
with overuse of purple prose

Jaxon Bailey

He basically said simulation is the wrong word and then used words that describe a simulation, but with consequences like the matrix.

Michael Gomez

how can there be a plot twist when there's no fucking plot

Wyatt Barnes

Right. In order to be shocked I need a basis in the first place. Since nothing is explained and the universe seemed perfectly malleable even before this, existential tension is basically impossible.

Anthony Sanders

Multiple flawless universal simulations
Looks like we were wrong. This isn't the future of the QCverse, QC is taking place parallel to this story as a simulated reality. This very neatly explains every character inconsistency and the sliding timeline in one stroke.

Xavier Torres

get the characters into the robot shop
wow, didn't see that coming at all. master of suspense and misdirection, jeph.

Camden Gomez

There's a dick bulge there.

Jonathan Cox

oh clarence is getting fatter too

Cooper Young

Aren't they objectifying him?

Lucas Edwards

Literally, yes.

And I see his muscles have suddenly re-inflated.
Some decent edit potential, though - glancing through the thread, for a split second I thought Chad was strangling Clairence.

So, shall the next big "plot" twist be that Chad walks past a scanner in the repair shop and he's actually a robot?

Ian Wright

Inb4 Chad is FTM to Claire's MTF which is why he's such a wuss even though he should be TEST ridden as fuck
What a Tweeeest

Aiden Rodriguez

To no one's surprise, Jeph is done with his "passion project" and is going to end it in a rushed, non-sensical fashion like every bad sci-fi anime he's ever watched.

Jacob Jackson

You can really feel how passionate he was for the comic. I'm sure he'll still earn 8k-10k a month on gimmedats.com because of gullible, dumbass fans.

Noah Harris

dat rapeface on panel 6
Brace yourself for the OC.

Brayden Wood

To tell the truth, seeing Gavia being beaten to death would be quite cathartic. It'd be especially awesome if the other characters just stood around and watched as it happened.

Unfortunately that would almost certainly be followed up by a half-dozen strips of poorly thought out meta-existentialism of whether she truly existed in the first place and whether returning to heaven "the dream" is better after all.

Lincoln Carter

Gavia may be the worst character Jeph has ever come up with. Faye and R'nee are sometimes useful in minor ways that don't really make up for how much of a bitch they are but all Gavia does is screech on about some bullshit and wreck things.

Justin Gomez

So, they got physical forms and unwittingly escaped from some sort of imaginary, moron storage facility?

I get kinda annoyed when characters are presented with this wild claim that their entire lives are a lie/simulation/dream/pre-determined etc, and they always react by going nuts and losing all their sanity points at once.
I'd just love it if someone gave a more believable response like, "What….? Heh, fuck off!"

But here, given the context and what we know the world to be like, I don't see Gavia reacting like that at all. Or, indeed, particularly caring that much.

And I also find it kinda odd that Gavia had all these tremendous nanite powers that make her fly, generate energy fields to both protect and attack, etc etc, yet doesn't have some sort of augmented reality vision giving constant readings and reams of information.

At least then she'd work out that she'd lost contact with the orbital tree a bit quicker when suddenly she sees as normal people do.
Would also have led to interesting character development as she tries to work out what objects are and what they're made of without the information being immediately available.

Shit, for all I know the possibility of development is exactly why Jeph omitted it in the first place…

Jeremiah Morris

It's good to know these threads are still as comfy as always. Some things never change.

Isaac Martin

but starting from my teenager years, they're all real, right?
yes but your childhood is a lie
well it was a long time ago, I barely remember it anyway
how does this plot twist feel? are you trembling?
no, not really, basically feel the same as I did ten seconds ago

Caleb Butler

Wheee!

"Wheeee! Th-this is what girls do, right Marten? S-see! I am a girl, just like your ex! Wheeee, Marten! WHEEEE!"

Anthony King

What do you do for fun, tear cucks in half?

Asher Allen

good job user

Thomas Rodriguez

I wonder what this "testing" involved.

Evan King

Here's that strangle edit. It took a million hours in paint.

Nolan Hernandez

A billion more hours in paint.

Connor Rogers

I wonder what this "testing" involved.

I do not wish to dwell on Jeff's "methodology"…. but I can confirm that upon initial exposure to his work;
as with most land mammals the Pyrenean Mountain Dog appears to experiences indifference.
(followed by ambivalence directed towards the person who woke them up to show them this crap)

Luke Morales

You monster, exposing that poor dog to this.

Linux user?

Xavier Morales

Challange: Name a single comic with worse pacing than AG. Here are a short list of some with better:
Gunnerkrigg Court
Hellcat
Sonichu
Tales gets Trolled
Dumbing of Age
Questionable Content (I think)

Aaron Myers

Bonus points if you can tell me why the pacing ended up so bad.

Mason Morales

half-dozen
I think Jeph would rather finish the comic quickly.

And I also find it kinda odd that Gavia had all these tremendous nanite powers that make her fly, generate energy fields to both protect and attack, etc etc,
Now that you say it … why did she have those powers at all if she was plugged into the matrix?

It's amazing that the trannies in these comics allways act like the same grotesque parodies of femininity they do in reality.

Samuel Hill

Name a single comic with worse pacing than AG
I can think of some:
Sister Claire
Heroic Villain
Between Failures
Name Game
Anything on Tapastic, that's not behind a pay wall, and even then.
Shaman King Flowers

Jose Torres

I think Jeph would rather finish the comic quickly.
But that is the quick finish: a bunch of talking where nothing happens.

Bonus points if you can tell me why the pacing ended up so bad.
Despite boasting about how Jeph had the whole thing in his head before committing to ink, it was like the Star Wars prequels where he dug up half-conceived ideas from his teenage years that seemed really cool at the time but ultimately didn't translate into a consumable product. The result was endless, transparent stalling like the ~2 month fight scene between Alice and Sedna that was then suddenly resolved permanently in a strip or two. Jeph burned out a while ago but with the Patreon ever climbing he realized he probably doesn't need to fulfill his early promises to keep momentum going. He tested the water by reducing from twice per week to once per week, though really it was more like from 1.4 per week to 0.75 per week. Then Jeph started dropping hints about how Alice Grove was "over 50%" complete with still no effect on the Patreon. Then he realized he could just hastily end it and pocket the cash.

AG is probably the worst story based webcomic I've read produced by an adult. The average Keenspot comic produced by an 8th grader in 2003 is better. At least the art and storytelling is basically indistinguishable from Jeph's effort. At least the crappy Keenspot characters sometimes had definable traits.

Between Failures
Oh, I had almost blocked that out. I remember being mystified by its popularity. At least QC had something of a soul once upon a time. BF was stillborn.

Nolan Gonzalez

Sister Claire
i remember that it could've been fun but then became some lesbian love letter to mediocrity and thats being generous.
Shaman King Flowers
has that started updating again? Fuck the creator had a chance to make another Shaman King anime but he didn't want to because they wouldn't use the same VAs and original music.

Xavier Lopez

The same reason why my D&D games get bogged down. When the side bits are more interesting than the main plot, you stop pushing forward in order to focus on those things. Once you've started to dedicate more than 50% of your time to the side stories, you lose sight of which thing is actually The Plot. Once you start treating the side stories as the new main plot, you become more and more likely to repeat the cycle and turn your originally linear plot into a Monster Curve.

Michael Morris

Between Failures
I honestly think it wasn't that bad in the beginning, but it's certainly lost whatever it had some time ago.

There are some other comics I have since forgotten the names of, and would have listed had I remembered them. They followed the pattern of having a pretty interesting setup at first, but then inexplicably scrapping it halfway through, removing all semblance of depth, and reworking the story into a wealth of soulless tumblr-isms. Or they go on infinite hiatus. It's happened too often for a number of web comics I used to read.

Ethan Reed

this is the most metal thing I have ever drawn

If she can rip an arm off, why not rip someone else's arm off and use that?

Kayden Diaz

Christ. What the fuck is this.

Matthew Rivera

And by the time she's finished doing all that shit, Alice would likely be in bits across the floor.

And anyways, wasn't alice surviving point-blank .50cal or RPG or some shit?
What could a bit of bone, that she can break herself, possibly do to the goon who's shown he's orders of magnitude tougher and stronger than her?

Best bet would be to threaten Bowtie, but then that bone bullshit is even more retarded when he could just be put in a choke hold.

Nicholas Rivera

I tried to make it somewhat bearable, but I have next to no idea how can be "rectified". Seriously, what the fuck's with the sudden onset of inexplicable EDGE?

John James

This is all I could think of.

Sebastian Turner

Oh boy, how retarded can we get?

Asher Watson

always with the hand mutilation, hand bite this time

Josiah Morris

I get the feeling that Jeph was reading Battle Angel Alita and he didn't even register that Alita only starts using her severed arm as a pair of nunchaku after an enemy took it off her. Using your own severed limb as a weapon is pretty metal, but it should never be your first impulse. Go for a joint lock or something.

Aaron Reed

Battle Angel Alita
I guess that explains why Jeph also tossed in a giant tree in space for no apparent reason.

Connor Martinez

bringing Black Faye into your home
Well, I guess there's the possibility that she'll get into a fight with Regular Faye and they'll cancel each other out.

Sebastian Jenkins

The important part you missed, is that Martin has to ask if he's allowed to have friends over at his apartment.

Eli Sanchez

The scar is making me think it's a boob line again.

This is especially fucked up when you consider the fact that she pays no rent and has had many people over without his permission.

Nathan Flores

It's gonna be interesting. Stabby can't into dialogues and plot even with few characters, let's see how much a clusterfuck he can make with half of the cast onscreen.
Also nice to see how he carefully avoids drawing Clit's hand

Brandon Flores

Joke is they're stuck in the door
There is no reason for them to be stuck in the door

Oh, and I see Jeph has used that old tried and true method for having to think of anything interesting - a whole panel where absolutely nothing happens.

So, Marten just shut the door on them all, including his >girlfriend, and made them stand out there while he got the OK from his freeloading parasite?

+10 progressive points!

Brandon Murphy

Also nice to see how he carefully avoids drawing Clit's hand
No, it's worse than that. Look closely.

Incidentally, in another tacit admission that he reads these threads, Jeph's Patreon page no longer displays his total $$, only his number of patrons. Jeremiah Wood But I though his robo-hand was supposed to be missing at this point. Logan Brown Jeph's Patreon page no longer displays his total$$$I've been noticing a lot of people on Patreon have been doing that lately. I think even that Sakimi-chan, who was earning around 30k every two weeks, removed their total$.

Blake Rivera

It's not missing, it's crushed yet still attached. Unless they went to the robo shop drunk at midnight or whenever this is. It's probably illegal to service prosthetics on a drunk customer.

They want you to think they're poor starving artists even though they're millionaires.

Brayden Taylor

This is even worse than I thought it was going to be, and I have no expectations whatsoever from this thing.

Dominic King

Jeph is ready to start selling references at $500 a pop. Gavin Nguyen wow, it doesn't even lose "impact" from downscaling it to a thumbnail. Andrew Hernandez Alice took bullets and explosives with no effect. Goon beat Alice to within an inch of her life. Safe to assume Goon has toughness at least on par with Alice, but most likely higher. With this in mind, how the screaming fuck would a ragged bit of fucking bone do anything to him at all…? And unless she's breaking the fucking sound barrier, there is no way she'd do all that dramatic arm-ripping shit and catch up with an in-motion Goon, who has so far outclassed her in every single way. I say Jeph realized it's going nowhere, was not as popular as he hoped it would be, and so he's wrapping it all up with no rhyme or reason. Tyler Sanchez Shit, Goon also took a 2-handed hammer to the head and was blasted into molten rock and survived. Unless he gets back up in the next page, this is the worst bullshit. Cameron Fisher It really is amazing how dumb this got. Connor Morris bloodloss This is outstanding. Jeph lacks the self awareness but it's almost like he set this up on purpose. Hunter Gomez This is even worse than "Goku develops heart disease because of a cold." You can't just suddenly kill an effectively immortal character, especially in such ludicrous fashion. If Jeph really thought about it, the goon would have frozen and gotten deformed or something. Then Gavia would go on about how the bone picked up nanites through osmosis or something which caused rejection and calcification when the bone interracted with the goon's skeleton. Now he's not dead but frozen until his advanced immune system learns how to compensate. But, who knows, maybe he's really not dead–which will be even worse than actually being dead because it would completely erase the tension and drama just established. That and it'd mess up the rules of this universe even more. Ah, fuck it, who cares, this will be done by Friday anyway. I think this is strip 191. Over/under on whether we see #200? At least Jeph is finishing it rather than putting it on hiatus for 7 years and letting the domain expire. Aaron Fisher 192 Luis Allen The "fans" can't possibly think this is good… can they? Aaron Sanchez Of course they do. That's why they give him thousands of dollars. Xavier Green Mixed bag on Reddit. Nothing worth capping on the forum. They just accept everything and collectively try to rationalize it all into a cohesive lore with very long posts, often using other fictional properties as a justification. I guess that counts as thinking this is good. Elijah Clark The maximum edge color scheme really brings out the essence of this comic. Ayden Young In addition to everything else, when did she have time to pull the wrist and the rest of the flesh off the bone? Wyatt Nelson This sounds like coded language that other zoophiles would understand. Parker Brown Marinr isn't bad Mason Long I like the first two panels. Brun is cute. Ayden Wood An attempt was made. I think its better this way, dialogue aside. Aaron Stewart Man, it sure was awful having an awkward autist in the cast. I'm so glad she was bodysnatched by the lolquip people like everyone else. Evan Martin Maybe Hanners will rip her arm off and stab Brown Autist in the neck with it. I wonder how long it would take for QC to end if one character did this to another every strip. It'd probably take far longer than you'd initially think due to the sea of aborted characters in the lore. Then they can get to work on the Dumbing of Age and other Walkyverse characters, maybe move onto Sinfest after that. James Long This is so bad I get pissed off. This cheered me up again. Ryder Hernandez If it was one person per page, and you assume that the action kills both parties, then it would last a number of pages equal to half the total named cast members, rounded up if there's an odd number, who would just tear off his arm and stab his hand instead. The real question is: how many named people are there in QC? Aiden Richardson No, only one party dies at at time, though, yeah, inevitably you end up with an odd number of one. how many named people are there in QC? That's the question. There are undoubtedly tons that no one remembers except for people who just finished binge reading the thing. Even then they'll rapidly forget in the noise of 3500+ strips. Jeremiah Sullivan Ah, fuck it, who cares, this will be done by Friday anyway. I think this is strip 192. Over/under on whether we see #200? Well I guess I lose that bet, barely. Oh, by the way, this means Jeph has been paid$102,000 for 204 stips of this, an even $500 per strip. And he just can't wait to get rid of this thing. Landon Morales stronger and faster than us Well, obviously not faster since Sedna managed to catch up with him when he had a running start, over the distance of however long it took for her to pull her arm out, etc. still tuned to the same physics What the hell does this even mean…? His skin and bones are obviously strong and tough enough that he could punch a crater into the ground and not reduce his hand to a pink mush, yet a ragged end of bone will pierce it? All we needed was a force multiplier What, like a metal pipe or something…? If all that's needed is a force multiplier and getting the drop on him then sure, a metal pipe would totally…. oh. And based off bowtie's angle of vision, Alice is a giant, now? Elijah Hughes inb4 this is the end of the comic Everything is up in the air on purpose Jeph WANTS the plot holes to be unresolved "This is just one perspective of a complex universe" "Just because the characters know something doesn't mean the reader should know Muh omission immersion Dark Souls did it, just look for the clues that I hid! Cooper Hernandez And then it ends abruptly and it turns out the entire thing, front to back, was just a dream Pintsize was having. Alexander Lee It was nice, cheerful VR pornography Pintsize rigged up for Marten back in strip 1. Michael Rivera unreliable narrator it was alll just a dream I said repeatedly it wasn't QC in the future…but is it? Alice dies in the end….or does she? Owen Harris Hm, this isn't so bad, actually. Also, Twitter doesn't give out verification to public figures with Wikipedia pages but no big deal if you change your handle every hour, as long as you're a San Francisco style progressive. John Price user called it Bentley Taylor breddy gud :DDD Carter Young Jesus, Jeph. Lincoln Kelly I can't decide if the cringiest part is the awful hand anatomy, the abysmal cost, the fact that a former drunkhard that used to work in a bar is suddenly a proficient hand surgeon, the fact they didn't have any alternatives than going to Faye (in a post-singularity city hospitals for robot and cyborgs mut about) or the shitty dialogue between Clit and Dumbinator or the terribile pacing of the conversation or Black Faye 's comment Jaxon Ward It's amazing how Jeph has no idea how males interact with each other. "Accidental flirting" is not a thing among heterosexual men. If something like this happens, at least one party is gay and is trying to fish out the other party with plausible deniability. Wyatt Moore But Clit is drunk, don't you see the bubbles!? He could say ANYTHING! Sebastian Carter lol Tyler Morris Someone here said that the hand was in canon cheap and 3D-printed, and that's why it was so easy to break, but if you have to pay$200 just to repair it, clearly it's not 3D-printed and the jock crushing it is a plothole.

And you gotta start keeping it covered.
It's our prediction, lads! We were right! This entire ordeal is so he doesn't have to draw Clinton's hand!

However
If Cuckton really prefers to have his hand look uncovered (see ), he could easily get a transparent cover for it.

Matthew Myers

Personally, the worst part of Jeph is how every retool he does is to make his life more convenient. Not to upgrade his art or storytelling, not to push himself farther, not to please or surprise his fanbase. But to further reduce the time and mental investment he needs to make in his "craft".

Ending Alice Grove, setting up consecutive arcs–Clit's hand and Menstro as a red-skinned lesbian–that make drawing easier. And he seems to be consolidating locations, too. Faye's robot place is far easier to draw than boss bot's place. You rarely see the Secret Bakery probably because it's one of the more complicated storefronts Jeph has come up with. All the common places are simple boxes of a few colors, like Marten's apartment.

Probably not here, but I know elsewhere I'd get a retort like, "Well of course he'd make things easier for himself! That's what people are supposed to do!" There's a reason why people like Jeph live their entire lives in drunken, hand-stabbing depression: they never truly try at anything and can't feel good about anything they do. They do the bare minimum and can't take pride in their work. Ordinarily, having a 3500+ strip webcomic that's been running for almost 15 years would be a proud accomplishment but Jeph has managed to make it look less so than some average 9-to-5 wage slave job.

Oh, something I've noticed: guest comics have totally dried up. There used to be several weeks of them per year. I'm not willing to believe it's because of Jeph's vaunted buffer. I think no one, not even Willis, wants to lend their talents to this artistically bankrupt guy anymore.

Sebastian Carter

Better quality.

Luke Powell

Anyone else think this is outdated?

Zachary Brooks

The rearranged comic is still one of the best criticisms ever levied against QC.

Nolan Parker

Needs the t-shirt to say "The Secret Penis".

Aiden Cox

Jeph is going through Liefeld-like contortions to avoid drawing Clinton's stump, but he's drawn it exactly once, and it doesn't look especially complicated. Why? Serious question.

Lucas Phillips

Thanks. As a scummy mobilefag, I have rather limited editing potential.

I give this art two thumbs up, which I then shove into my eyes so I don't have to look at it any more
This sums it up nicely

Matching an oval up properly with the perspective is difficult when you rely on a 3D engine to create your backgrounds and have no real talent.

Joseph Myers

It looks like Clarence is spitting onto Clit's forehead.

Ayden Nguyen

Maybe Clit should actually be looking.
Reminding himself that it *is* a brother he's got.

Noah Green

Very nice.

Angel Morris

I couldn't think of a suitable file name.

Jacob Gomez

Questionable memes

Elijah Carter

I dunno, maybe Clint is just too stupid to realize it's easier to get them to 3d print a new one instead of trying to put back together the smashed one.

Thomas Harris

It doesn't even have a single mention of Menstro, IPP or Alice Grove.

Camden Hall

Remember, Shelby, never tell anyone.

Elijah Stewart

I wonder if someone can convince Jeph to post a video of how his dog act when he comes home after being out for awhile. Reasonably, the dog should be at the door whining and excited to see their friend and owner home. If Shelby just lays there, that's just more proof of the abuse.

Kevin Collins

Jeph's just shipping every combination at this point.

Xavier Sullivan

I wonder is that's what this comic will devolve into, a big butch-ladyboy orgy with everyone doing everyone, like Oglaf.

Colton Mitchell

Today we learn that Jeph can't into door hinges.

Jaxson Morales

But Oglaf is capable of being funny.

Also, Oglaf has largely abandoned its original overarching story in favor of telling jokes in a magical medieval-ish setting

Bentley Murphy

Jeph's done it. He's made me laugh out loud.

Easton Walker

We are hastily-skimmed Wikipedia articles, and all this contradicts what I said about Church.

This looks so stupid…

Grayson Robinson

Does Jeph know what entropy is? I "drastically violate" entropy on a local scale every time I straighten up my work desk, and last I checked I don't have any singularities in my body.

Thomas Long

Okay…I'm going to go line by line on this abortion of a page.

You've probably read about relativity theory and quantum mechanics in one of those old books you dug up
There's nothing actually wrong with this sentence, but prefacing anything by mentioning a specific scientific field is the same as holding up a banner saying that you're about to spout some contrived bullshit.

The deeper truth is that everything boils down to entropy
This is also mostly correct, but becomes very complicated when you start looking at things on the Planck scale, as the aforementioned field of quantum mechanics does.

And entropy can be violated on local scales
The sentence itself is correct, and it's the reason why quantum mechanics is so bizarre, but the use of the word "local" in this sense is usually reserved for objects or areas that make protons look enormous. I suspect that Jeph is using the wrong "local", referring instead to one's personal space.

He also started the sentence with And, which is a literary no-no. If he was an actually competent writer, I might think that he's just simulating imperfect natural speech patterns, but he's not so it looks bad.

Drastically violated, if you have a way to make up the difference
This is where things start to go sideways. The violation of entropy that occurs at the Planck level is not well understood, and tends toward normal entropy when viewed across a large area (large being individual atoms) or a long time (such as a few seconds). The idea that one could "make up the difference" is only applicable at the smallest of scales, since the act of operating a device capable of doing so would result in normal entropy overall across the area the device occupies, because modifying the energy state of a system using outside energy requires you to use energy to insert energy into the system whose entropy you are attempting to modify.

If you entangle a system with an area of space containing the maximum possible entropy, you have an entropy sink
This is where we go full retard. First of all, quantum entanglement is when two particles are functionally identical to each other in every measurable way and each will simultaneously change in response to things happening to the other regardless of distance. If one particle in the pair has a particular energy state, they both do. One doesn't "pass" energy on to the other, they are identical at all times. It's possible to create a heat sink by creating many such pairs, placing them separately in two areas, and introducing nonpaired particles with different energy levels into the respective areas, but that just results in normal entropy across the system.

Which brings me to the second problem. Entropy is not a thing. It's a process. The idea of "maximum entropy" only exists when you take a snapshot of a system's energy state and try to predict the systemic change that has the highest probability of occurring.

(1/2)

Xavier Campbell

Break the rules as much as you want, it'll only increase the area of the event horizon
The obvious implication here is that Alice has or is made of particles that are a quantum entanglement pair with particles that are inside a black hole. Ignoring the elephant that is "Does quantum entanglement survive the information destroying phenomenon that black holes exhibit?", we are left with the idea that having paired particles that are in a black hole somehow lets her violate the laws of physics in a way that adds mass and/or energy to the black hole via those paired particles.

This is strange for many reasons, but the big question is why. What laws of physics are being warped, aside from the ones that let her do the thing that warps the laws of physics governing her ability to…warp the laws of physics and make the process possible? We haven't seen her do anything that a normal fictional cyborg couldn't do with nanomachines.

We are Maxwell's Demons
This shit drives me up the wall. Maxwell's thought experiment is one of those things that gets thrown around like Schrodinger's Cat and I'm sick of it.

Maxwell's Demon is a hypothetical entity who knows everything about every particle everywhere in the universe and also understands the laws of physics perfectly. The question is whether said creature could use this information to accurately forecast the future of everything because it holds all of the obtainable information that could possibly exist. There's also the question of whether or not such a being would have to be a perfect 1:1 replica of said universe in order to posses this information, or if it is possible to simulate such an environment.

Alice is neither omniscient, nor big enough to be anything even resembling such a being. This sentence is stupid.

We are powered by black holes, and the laws of physics are optional for us
The idea of having a power source made of particles that are paired with particles inside a black hole is interesting enough that I'm sure Jeph didn't come up with it. It also poses the question of how I'm also still not sure how an energy source like that would allow carte blanche violation of physical laws, but I already talked about that.

———-TL; DR———-

None of this "hard science" makes a god damn bit of sense, and Jeph Jacques is a hack.

(2/2)

Asher Sanchez

Minor correction: Maxwell's demon is something different. It's an imp that violates entropy by, for example, managing a gate between two chambers, and opening a gate when a particle with property A wants to go to chamber A or a particle with property B wants to go to chamber B but not vice versa. As long as the imp and the gate don't affect entropy themselves (which is the problem with the thought experiment) that would decrease entropy in a closed system.

Luis Jackson

Doesn't seem like it. This universe already has an interdimensional aspect to it. Why not just have Alice as a kind of controller of destiny where she can rapidly and continuously summon the desired outcome? Of course there needs to be a lot more than this to explain everything that's going on, but it makes way more sense as a factor than what Jeph's come up with.

Controlling entropy doesn't really explain anything other than maybe being able to summon explosions out of seemingly thin air. Then all the other characters would have to wonder why it's always freezing after Alice does such a thing. Why does Alice need Gavia for the energy shield? Seems like such a thing is more suited for controlling entropy than nanomachines.

There's the equivalent exchange thing again, which Jeph is violating because he can't into plot or dramatic tension. I guess Alice and co are the Fullmetal Alchemist "Fathers" except without the philosopher stone minions.

Jose Thompson

I confused Maxwell's Demon with Laplace's demon
Fuck

My statement still holds up, though, since just having a power source that draws from a black hole doesn't give you any sort of power to control your surroundings like he's implying

Tyler Johnson

Stronger and faster than us but still tuned to the same physics

The laws of physics are optional to us

So, how does this make any sense?
Why would bleeding out really matter?
Why would a bone to the neck do anything more than cosmetic damage?
Shit, why would it do any damage at all?
Why the need for any physical weapons, like that hammer from the flashback sequence?

Is this basically a more pretentious way of Jeph saying, "It's all a dream/The Matrix!" but he wanted to seem smart?

Jaxon Anderson

I'm kinda behind on all these threads so here's some OC that should have been made when these strips came out.
I'll just steal ideas from Cliff, everyone had a laugh about that comic, right?
he can't even make something as simple as stabbing, a pose he's familiar with, look interesting or not-awkward
let me toss in some more bland psudo science
As far as relativity is concerned, everything is moving extremely fast in his direction from the front and everything is moving extremely fast away from him from behind. The idea would be to stab him in the front of his body so he would rail himself on a spike, since the smaller a surface area is, the greater amount of pressure is going directly through it when force is applied, since pressure is determined by the speed, mass, and surface area of an object. What jeph does, however, is show him getting stabbed from the side, and then through his eye, which is like, really retarded. This also ignores the fact that even if it were dead on, there is a physical law somewhere that dictates that every action has an equal and opposite reaction, meaning even though force would be applied in a forward direction relatively, it would be moving equally in the opposite, so the bone or her arm would give way most likely, especially since she shattered it herself and he has shown to be much stronger. There's also the idea that the smaller an object is, the faster it would have to be moving to create a similar impact as a larger object moving at its own set speed, so that bone would be shattered, since he would be moving at a speed high enough to harm himself; if his skin is ruptured, that same damage would have to be applied to the object that created that rupture, especially when we're working with so much acceleration and mass.
laws of physics are optional for us
neat concept, but the laws of physics don't apply to anyone in jeph's universes.

Colton Edwards

Marten looks nostalgic for an actual woman in panel 1.

Claire turns Japanese in panel 3. and almost hits IPP in the back of the head with >her cumshot

pintfist is an improvement

Luis Wood

You know, a Vampire Hunter D knockoff story starring Clinton and his hand Pintsize has just enough potential to make me interested in seeing how Jeph could manage to fuck it up.

Benjamin Fisher

Count Magnus Lee would be gay and shipped with the hand. All the forum posters would go, "SQUEEEEEE!!!"

William Thomas

This is the worst strip so far, and that's saying a lot.

The sentence itself is correct, and it's the reason why quantum mechanics is so bizarre
Are you sure about that? The probability distribution of Individual particles spreads out with time.

Perhaps you're right if you talk about some mathematical construct of a purely periodic system, wich doesn't exist in reality (ex: infinite potential well with a finite number of populated states), but such a construct could be imagined for a macroscopic system as well.

If one particle in the pair has a particular energy state, they both do. One doesn't "pass" energy on to the other, they are identical at all times.
It's not that they're identical, it's that they can only be described by the total of some preserved quantum number (ex: total energy, total angular momentum). If one

Still, the concept of entanglement doens't even apply here, I think, so Jeph's still wrong.

Entropy is not a thing. It's a process.
It's a thing. There's even a metric for it:
<https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Entropy
Gotta side with Jeph on this one. Although you could probably argue that there's no such thing as "maximum entropy".

Black holes
If I'm to give a lot of credit to Jeph, this is what he meant:
<1: In universe (=Jeph's poor understanding of physics) two particles being quantum entangled means one can transfer energy to the other.
<2: (Some?) Black holes have a potential<0, meaning that they can hold particles that have negative energy (compared to the outside).
<3: Alice entangles her own particles with ones near/in black holes. Her particles gain energy and the ones in the black holes lose it (until they have <0).
This still doens't make sense, I think, and she could've equally well done it with higher energy particles outside black holes.

Mason Nguyen

My question with it all is why would you use something that even theoretically has maximum possible entropy to shift off your own cellular entropy?
You lose energy when you preform work
let me send that lost energy to a place that is full of lost energy
This seems like a net loss, unless I'm not understanding something. The two things that pop into my mind are
you need to put energy in to make up for any and all energy lost, so rather than displacing something from yourself you should be absorbing more matter into you for the maximum possible delay of entropy
and
if you want to disobey the laws of physics you need to exchange energy with something else, since there's no way to do so unless the excess "information" goes to another place
By information I just mean from a programming stand point of, "if;then" arguments with physical laws. If you punch something, that force goes through that something also comes back to you to some degree. That information has to go somewhere, so it makes sense with his definition of entanglement, as dumb as it may be, to define how that information is displaced onto something external.
Even thinking about that, that's just for displacing excess energy, which just energizes external particles in this theoretical entropy sink; how does she get rid of her own entropy in that way? If I'm not wrong in my understanding of it, entropy is where cells will naturally try to find a point at which they stop moving, or where their energy reaches zero, so the only way to counteract this would be to reignite the cells by continuing their movement through external means. This of course also leads to entropy in that external body, so a new external body must be used to continuously prevent entropy, and I think this is what the other user meant when he said entropy was a concept and not really a physical thing; how would you remove the decrease in energy from your own particles? Using the English laws of double negatives, of course that sentence just means how would you energize a cell, but you can't energize a cell by removing removal from it, that's not how cells work, and I'm pretty sure that's the whole idea behind entropy.
This all leads back to my first idea that it would be better to prolong the process of entropy by consuming high energy matter rather than putting "Entropy" into a black hole. Unless her cells on the other side are the black hole? Is he saying the black hole is literally sucking up matter and putting it into the sentai? That also sounds retarded because black holes tear apart matter that moves through them

Evan Brooks

To no one's surprise, Jeph is done with his "passion project" and is going to end it in a rushed, non-sensical fashion like every bad sci-fi anime he's ever watched.

Robert Murphy

It seems like Jeph should be legally prohibited from making this sort of reference.

Parker Lopez

I am upset about the past
This makes it okay to ruin the future
Eternal stagnation is preferable to rebuilding
This isn't supposed to be the character we agree with, right?

Jacob Cox

You'd think an immortal being with immense guilt and wisdom would be more eager to be civilization's caretaker. I mean, this kinda happened but on a laughably microscopic scale. Also, it's similarly laughable that she now seems to be killing indiscriminately whereas previously she was most concerned about some random village. What, did she murder everyone that disagreed with her there, too?

Charles Peterson

Is that the rule for Jeph's characters - the badder they are, the wider their mouth gets?

And this "shocking" revelation just makes the entire comic look like one big waste of time.
I mean, we all knew it was from day one, but within its own story it is a waste of time.
Nothing mattered; nothing changes.
And these all-powerful Praeses complain about violence yet stand back just letting it happen.

Are there actually any protagonists here?

Landon White

the badder they are, the wider their mouth gets?
Pretty much. Here's the strip previous to the one just linked.

Kevin Brooks

Are there actually any protagonists here?
Are there any characters, period?

Blake Mitchell

within its own story it is a waste of time.
Nothing mattered; nothing changes.
But that's what the fans of this thing want to happen.

Brandon Peterson

Has Jeph went and given this story the ultimate SJW ending - equality of outcome?

Everyone is equal as they all live lives of equal squalor, fear, ignorance and stagnation.

That's Jeph's vision of the future - a superhuman pseudoscience demon stamping on human imagination, forever.
Forever.

William Bailey

Everyone is equal as they all live lives of equal squalor, fear, ignorance and stagnation.
Hm, this reminds me of something, but I can't quite put my finger on it. I know that it's very important to "progressives" however, whatever it was.

Sebastian Lopez

They're right about Padme, but the Qui-Gon bit is exactly the kind of disingenuous presentation that always prevented my from taking the Plinkett reviews seriously. Going by Plinkett's own demands, I would describe Qui-Gon Jinn as stoic, wise, compassionate, and possessed of a slight renegade streak that puts him at odds with his superiors. He has about as much characterization as old Ben Kenobi in A New Hope.

Jason Wood

All this really makes Alice look completely evil.
She's apparently set herself up as the only one in town who can actually build/fix anything that isn't made of wood and deliberately doesn't teach anyone how to fend for themselves.
She could make all their lives so much better but seems to prefer this protection racket of enforced scarcity.
In any other story, she'd be the villain.

Jack Myers

Episode 4 Obi Wan was far warmer and seemed more wise, though. However, he made some rather poor decisions once they got to the Death Star. But Qui-Gon is a total retard by comparison.

But you're probably right: Qui-Gon is the closest thing to a real character in Episode 1. He may be a retarded character, but at least he's passable as a character.

Jason Allen

Okay, just to be devil's advocate, stories that are compartmentalized in their own little world and don't have any real bearing on anything when their finished, or stories that end right where they started aren't necessarily terrible, but jeph wouldn't know how to end it in a satisfying way, so this is going to be shit.

Oliver Nguyen

I…

Evan Carter

As much as I like the "The real hero was the villian all along" trope, it's ruined by the fact that Jeph didn't intend it at all. You know that he thinks the bad guy is the bad guy, and the good guy is the good guy, and despite the villian being the most rational character with the most honorable and respectable goal, he and his followers all think Bowtie Guy is the villian simply because he went against the status quo and was a straight white male.

Owen Sullivan

Also did Bowtie ever actually order Church to kill anyone?
Seems most of his aggression was entirely of his own accord.

And if Bowtie didn't order any deaths, Alice just killed a helpless guy who literally cannot harm her in any way.
In fact, the only one he could potentially harm is Ardent, but even that is debatable based off what his sister can do.

Alice really is an asshole.

Sebastian Jenkins

Are there actually any protagonists here?
Misuse that word again and I'm going to stab a kitchen knife through your hand.

Jonathan Cox

How do you feel about page related in this new context?

Cameron Thomas

A low-key rage, like most of his other comics.

Xavier Long

I serve everybody*

*subject to terms and conditions

Sebastian Martin

Jeph has made me more confident in my writing. I mean, people like and pay for this shit, so they should like and pay for my shit, too.

Brody Kelly

But that's wrong, user. Jeph's fans are not people. :^)

Jackson Foster

I don't think he ever issued any direct orders, but close to the end he had absolutely no problem with letting Church go ape, which is understandable considering the position he was being put in.
That being said though, just about everything Church did was in retalliation, self defence, or defence of his master. Which, again, is understandable and easily justified.
Plus, after Church died in the most bullshit fashion possible there was nothing Bowtie Guy could do to hurt them directly or indirectly anyway. Not to mention the fact that Alice is an admitted mass murderer and the primary reason humanity was thrown back to the stone age, which will always lead to heroes like Bowtie Guy (Let's face it, he's the only one who could ever be called a hero in this comic) who want nothing more than to raise humanity back to its former glory.
The hypocracy is palpable.

Ethan Ramirez

So… Alice was a mass-murdering psychopath and apparently has no problem with killing anyone who crosses her, regardless of whether they're a threat or not.

With that in mind, at what fucking point did this supposed failsafe of "I serve everybody" ever come into play?
If Church's failsafe of serving a single master is anything to go by, doesn't this mean that Alice should obey orders from any human?

The more we look at this, the less sense it makes.

John James

Man, this is NieR all over again. Save the self-awareness.

Julian Wright

This is just going to end with everyone dying and Nightcrawler walking through a blue light like the end of Cube.

Jaxon Walker

Oh right. Guess my work would still be too shitty for actual people, then.

Jayden Reyes

The worst thing that can happen is that we tell you it's shit, but we also like to be vocal about why something is shit. Even if you suck, if your skin is thick enough to take some constructive criticism you'll get a complete rundown on where and how to improve.

Ryan Hughes

I don't have any links. If I ever do any work with links, I'll ask for criticism in one of those writing/drawing threads I see on Holla Forums,

Anyway, is there anyone that thinks of Alice as a hero still?

Robert Lopez

Did she ever seem like a hero? She always looked like a morally ambiguous character to begin with, and her unwillingness to explain anything made her seem like an outsider when paired up with the fish-out-of water characters.

William Walker

Every strip is shipping from now on.

Michael Hall

Tumblr reacts especially well when my pages involve shipping
Better make every page a shipping page from now on
I'll bet the newly minted hole in my hand that this is what he was thinking.

Liam Lewis

Half his size, and twice his weight. Which speaking of, Menstro seems to have a beer gut in the third panel.

Isaac Turner

Ok, first, the layout has Faye basically stripping off the very millisecond she crosses the threshold of that door - as she continues the conversation without pause.

Second, in panel 2 Jeph's drawn Menstro with such a massive gunt it looks like an out-patient from some critical liposuction.

And thirdly, why has Menstro went from being a social retard to suddenly being all embarrassed about expressing emotions.
Rather than Jeph going for all this cutesy bullshit, I thought it would make more sense for the character and have a bit more impact if Menstro wasn't embarrassed at all.

The dialogue could be something like,
"Feigning jealousy as a joke… Is it wrong to experience the affection I feel for you?
I see, you would prefer some emotions to remain unexpressed. Sorry, I did not mean to cause you any discomfort.
Well, good night."

Faye is embarrassed; Menstro isn't - it's just saying what it feels.
What happens next?!

Robert Baker

Because they are gay for eachother, duh.

Learn to understand the great progressive writing of Jack Handsatb Jackes.

Blake Wright

one bad comic author making jokes at the expense of another bad comic author
Something about those living in glass houses not throwing stones comes to mind.

It's like watching two retards fight. Sort of funny but also just kind of sad and dumb.

Bentley Howard

fuck my fans, I hate them all
wait, I need their money
Nice recovery there, Jeph.

Also nice to see how he thinks he produces quality work. Ironically he was much better when he thought he was shit and constantly self-criticized his work.

Oliver Garcia

Nothing else is worth my time
But I don't live in a bubble
U wut m8?

Ian Diaz

I surround myself with people who pay me and other webcomic artists hoping to climb using my platform
I trust them to be objective

Sebastian Garcia

Every strip is even worse than my non-existent expectations.

Nathan Hill

That information is irrelevant and has been discarded
Given the insignificant size of a page of text and the relative difficulty of erasing data from biological systems, I can only conclude that Jeph is a massive hack.

Jaxson Clark

It occurs to that with Glasses guy here in AG and Menstro's boss in QC, this is (at least) the second time where Jeph's "villains" have been more sympathetic and likable than his "heroes".
Funny how I keep seeing that with leftist authors lately.

Wyatt Robinson

Don't forget Ted.

Joshua Brooks

Something else noticeable with leftists is murder is their only tool for coping with polite, non-violent disagreement.

Juan Russell

Does anyone have the oven edit for that? Good times.

Blake Miller

Just this one in my collection.

Blake Martinez

The fact that they continually dodge the question is basically a tacit admission that Clarence still has his dick.

Julian Wilson

The pacing is completely fucked.
First we have some exposition, then a brief bit of action, now immediately back to exposition with everyone acting like nothing has happened.

So yeah, Ardent is cradling Sedna (who now appears to be missing her entire arm) but emotionally there's nothing.
Shit, the dialogue could be pasted into QC's fucking coffee shop and it'd have the same impact.

Luis Thomas

Not even an, "Alice?! What?! Why?! When did you…what did you do to him? Oh my God there's so much blood! Sedna! W-will she be okay?! I think I'm going to sick…"

After all, there are two fresh corpses–one of them missing a face–and a half-dead woman hemorrhaging blood. You'd think that'd be unnerving to at least the heavily sheltered out-of-nice-Matrix aliens there.

Nope, instead it's the kind of dialogue you get at the beginning of a video game. Jeph is so bad at resolving tension that he doesn't even do it now. Everybody should be freaking out over the genocidal literal demon but, nope, solipsistic chit chat about The Matrix is most important at the moment.

Justin Stewart

huh, the punchline kind of works but it could be because I was expecting a Clintstro ship instead.

Isaac Garcia

Clinstro would have been par for the course, but we got more Faystro instead, so it's still awful.

Jeph is also batting 1000 with hiding Clinton's stump.

And what the fuck is this?

Ryan Evans

I think it's nervous sweat, but it looks like Jeph had a stroke and smudged the door frame.

WHY DOES HE HIDE THE STUMP?

LOTTA DODGING FOR A HACK ARTIST

Angel Howard

Most of them

Are there actually any protagonists here?
Bowtie guy.

Good point! By keeping everyone else ignorant and simple, she has ultimate power.

If Church's failsafe of serving a single master is anything to go by, doesn't this mean that Alice should obey orders from any human?
She has set up a metric so vague that she can justify anything by it.

Luke Fisher

A light edit - the other two panels were fairly redundant.

Daniel Powell

It was refreshing to meet someone nearly as large as I am

So, judging Chad's worth solely on his physical appearance?!
Objectification!!

Owen Martinez

Claire said I could crash here, so…

And there it is - Marten has been relegated to Clarence's onahole, and was likely ordered to hand over ownership (but still pay the rent) of the apartment or else the chastity cage would never be removed.

Carson Brooks

She has set up a metric so vague that she can justify anything by it.
So you're saying that she really is a human femaile?

Kayden Price

Good job, whichever of yous did this.

Levi Lewis

I include this only to demonstrate how every one of Jeph's fans is a superior artist.

this is gross

Why yes, she is.

Dylan Russell

This is gross
The fuck does that mean? Is he saying that it's gross to point out that he's been drawing Faye fatter and fatter?

Hudson Cooper

It's hard to believe a webcomic with 7 strips remaining and yet no climax can be this boring. Unless the "climax" was the de-facing of bowtie guy who was introduced late in the story and was killed unceremoniously.

Isaac Martinez

It's kind of uncanny that Jeph is as bad as he is, but we've covered that extensively.

Benjamin Thomas

Alice is okay with mankind pulling itself out of the mud
But she killed the guy who had the best chance of making it happen
This comic is schizophrenic on top of being shit.

Nolan Long

But he wasn't benevolent. I don't know how they determined this but it doesn't matter. What you do is less important than how you feel, and how you feel is less important than how others feel about you. So if you want the betterment of mankind, it doesn't matter if a malevolent demon god thinks you're a poo poo head.

Daniel Robinson

Even Reddit thinks this is dogshit.

Brandon Bell

Andrew Ross

Incidentally, I don't see what makes Alice Grove unrecoverable, assuming a professional writer were to take it over. The universe is so open ended and undefined that there is still room for structure to be erected, and assuming a good faith soft reboot, it could survive a universe-redefining deux ex machina. In fact, that's the entire problem: there are no rules to this thing, just whatever Jeph thinks of at the moment. The people who really believe this was all thought out in advance are beyond delusional. Alice Grove is even more transparent than anime filler or clip shows in terms of its lack of creative direction.

Gabriel Reyes

How does krylea deal with their shit taste?

David Butler

Good faith soft reboot
If Jeph were to outsource Alice Grove, do you think the increase in quality would increase his patreonbucks to the point where it would be profitable to do so?

Brody Parker

bring old machinery back to life but in a… benevolent manner

So what, her concern was for those water pumps, wind turbines and other mechanical devices suddenly turning evil?

Alice is also insane, so it seems.

Shit, she has the abilities and knowledge to lift humanity out of the technological doldrums herself and now she's pondering an outside intelligence wanting to do just that?

Also, I find it quite… ironic? that now everything's being rushed and Jeph's desperately shoving in as much exposition as possible, where in the beginning we had 4 panels of a fucking cart moving from one side to the other - all part of Jeph's grand plan!

Jacob Ward

It's hard to believe there is no profit to be had from \$500 per strip. On the other hand, Jeph gets the money regardless. However, there is the diversification aspect. When QC fails, it's likely to be precipitous. Loss of popularity often is.

Jeph is already far behind. He should have enacted "Questionable Studios" years ago and have 5+ up and coming illustrators and animators by now. He makes fun of Ctrl-Alt-Del but at least Buckley managed an animated version of his webcomic. People shit on That Guy With The Glasses but at least Doug went for it. Same with Cinemassacre. At least the Nerd made his movie and otherwise seems to enjoy his existence of hanging out with his best friends and making money shitting on bad 80s products.

Jeph could have been another Rooster Teeth or Trailer Park Boys, two entities that started small and became huge. Hell, as popular as Penny Arcade is/was it's now more well known for its expo than the webcomic.

Nolan Scott

oh boy an excuse to repost this

Ayden Taylor

He could have just said the Praeses don't know or care where their seeds came from since they only sprout when they've arrived at a planet and then they've got their tulpa universes to obsess over. Jeph really manages to make his works less interesting the more words he's able to put into it.

Tyler Watson

someone somewhere wants humanity to be dug back out of the immense hole it was thrown into
seems fine to me
oh btw I also killed the guy who wanted to do that all along lol
Doublethinking on these levels shouldn't even be possible. If they're all fine with technological advancement happening again why would they kill the guy who wanted just that all along, and would have done the job much faster and more effectively, and on top of all that, he never even really wanted to hurt anybody?
Bowtie Guy was the best and most knowledgeable character out of the bunch, but they threw him away because he said some things that hurt their feelings.

Jason Jenkins

It's because he was a fucking WHITE MALE

Dylan Wright

Christian Rodriguez

I'm thinking it'll either be the Bloodloss header or the bulge header. Haven't decided yet.

Kevin Morgan

bulgeloss

Josiah Richardson

She's super hot
Faye

Jack Stewart

Clinton is losing a lot of brain cells over this
If this comic was written by someone else, the joke would have been La Tortillera Rojo shook him until he was retarded enough to find Faye hot.

Brandon Smith

I love ho QC transitioned from "whaky characters in a coffee shop" to "Jeph masturbates to tubs of lard"…

Angel Morris

Wait a second…isn't Aghblghl a reused sound from that one strip with Dora?

Chase Phillips

It's okay, no one can tell Dora and >male Dora apart.

Asher Hall

Does Jeph actually think his dumpy female characters are attractive?

Elijah Sanchez

Christ, is it me or does Marten look like he's wasting away from AIDS in this strip?

Ayden Carter

It's because his facial expression is locked in place, despite holding a conversation.

Michael Thomas

Jesus Christ, those fucking legs in the 2nd panel!

It's actually infuriating how fucking ugly the characters are, here.

Kayden Scott

Probably why the characers are almost always cropped above the waist.

Oliver White

Every single man in this comic is a villain. Every single woman is a hero. The only non-female hero is the blue manchild.

Camden Jenkins

That seems kind of…dumb
Even Jeph's fictional characters are more self-aware than he is.

Jace Ross

The only non-female hero is the blue manchild.
…and he's the only protagonist that can't fight.

So nothing mattered, and Bowtie guy died in vain.

Angel Thompson

What is Blue Marten exactly doing to the girl who ripped her own arm off and has not a single drop of blood left since she's no longer bleeding?
Is he really lifting her by HER OWN BLOODY STUMP to help her in the second panel?

It seems he's trying to create so much loathsomeness in a single comic that it will create a singularity of stupidity and devour the whole genre……..

Aaron Smith

You know, I think that face effectively captures my sentiment toward this whole comic.

Luis Long

Normally I have plenty to say about these, or specific points to make but this…
It's just utterly mind-numbing.
The pace, the progression, the exposition…

This fucking comic is schizophrenic.

It's almost like Jeph is trying real hard to get it over with and as soon as he thinks he's almost done, he has an "Oh, yeah!" moment, realizing he forgot something he thinks is important and tries to jam it in sideways.

This whole conversation, for example; this could easily have taken place before any fighting kicked off, bit Jeph *so* wanted to draw his "metal" arm-ripping scene that he forgot everything else.

Noah Sanchez

Slight bit of evidence for this - NO-ONE cares that just a few seconds ago the walls were being painted with blood.

Everyone's ignoring the growing pool of blood and brain matter leaking from the only 2 real men this story has ever known.

The blue pussy, the anthro-frog and the shaven-headed dyke who has seen and felt Alice's violent side; none of them are batting an eyelid at this murderer admitting to personally causing the deaths of millions.

This is not a conversation that takes place post-violence.

Blake Lee

It was okay to kill those two heroes because they were literally FUCKING WHITE MALES

Anthony Thompson

Alice has one eye still red for no fucking reason
<No one cares about the bloodshed that just happened
Alice&suit are clean, not bloody. Have they installed the same cleaning-function in both her and the suit? Why? Especially since the suit can be retracted into her, it shouldn't need a cleaning function if she has one.
<Green girl isn't filling the place with vacuum to protect against the genocidal mass murderer
Pale girl stopped healing dying brown girl
<Blue guy is moving dying brown girl
Instead of giving the gift to blue guy and sending down his combat-capable sister as a bodyguard, why not give the gift to someone combat-capable?
<Position of floor makes no sense in fourth panel
<Perspective of the arcs make no sense in any of the panels
Perspective of arcs makes even less sense in the last panel
If nanobots can heal (as Gavia showed in last panel), why isn't the Praeses sending its best nanobots to heal the dying brown girl?
<Gavia's eyes should be red, not teal
Everyone is just rolling with Alice's idiotic theory without her offering any evidence at all
<Why would the AIs send people living in the Praeses? Why not just have some machines unburry from the ground?
Why wouldn't the AIs give some relevant information/instincts/desires to Ardent that would make him more useful to the AIs' plan? He's incredibly passive.
<Why does the plant have tits?
Story progression:Evil plan starts to unfold -> Final boss fight "scene" -> Exposition -> End?
<The plant implies that there's only one dissapearance (or one pair of disappearances) per Praeses. Why? This is still really inefficient.

Carter Ramirez

The cleaning is because blood splatter is hard to draw consistently Alice has entropy controlling powers, but not in a way that makes her a physical god.

The "one per" method also bothers me, but not because it's inefficient. It's because a post-apocalyptic setting where The Machines won and gave most of the population tech-themed superpowers before they peaced out and left seems WAY more fun than whatever Alice Grove is supposed to be.

Grayson Williams

I just thought of how fucking retarded that arm-ripping was.
She yanked her own arm out at the shoulder, held one end in her teeth and grabbed the other end by the wrist/forearm and broke it…

If anything it would break at the elbow; that is the point of articulation, after all; leaving no bone shards at all.
Not to mention that the end held in her teeth would likely rip out way before any bones could be broken.

What she ought to have done was to brace her elbow on her knee, grab her wrist and snap her forearm.
That wound would be easier to recover from as well, as a tourniqet could easily be put round the bleeding end.

I don't think Jeph really thought this through, and possibly wrote the shit while drunk.

Landon Barnes

I don't think Jeph really thought this through
Has he ever thought anything through?

possibly wrote the shit while drunk.
You'd be hard pressed to find a moment where he's not blind stinking drunk.

Bentley Myers