Dumb shit you thought as a n00b

In the early 00's, when I first started going online (before all I knew were DOS and BBS), whenever I'd see a website end in .html I thought that meant "dot Hotmail" because I thought Microsoft controlled all the Internet.

And by "online" I meant "on the Web" because I know some autist will get triggered.

No one is this retarded.

Except at first.

I once thought that developers of tile-based games had every possible combination of tiles saved as a single display stored somewhere in the game.

in the mid-90s, i tricked my little brother into thinking that "brb" meant "barbecue"

thinking C was good

The best was laughing on-line. I still giggle remembering that.

When I first got into editing and then creating models for Half-Life mods, I thought .smd stood for "suck my dick" instead of "studio model data".

I thought lol meant lots of love. It didn't go down well in a text when my friends dad died.

I thought all video games had a 'core' you could see behind one of the walls if you could get your camera to clip beyond a wall.

TOPPEST OF TOP KEKS FAM! xDDD

I thought windows was good
I know better now

There is a mistake I keep repeating. Every once in a while I think I am not a noob anymore, but then I look at terry's videos and realize how pathetic my technical skills are.

I thought C and Unix were good for their time, when really they were always shit and everyone thought C was bad when it came out.

they dont?

sounds like something a n00b would say

I've got the best one. I originally got a UNIX account in the early '90s through a local university program offering mainframe access to middle school kids. The service was named 'Core Plus'. I was learning on my own to program on it and my program crashed and 'dumped core'. I was panicked I'd broken it and the shattered remains of the Core Plus service were now sitting in a file named 'core' in my home directory. Like a pro middleschooler I handled this by pretending nothing happened and not logging in for a month. When no one came to arrest me I started logging in again but I carefully preserved that core file for a year in case they asked for it back.

As a kid, I would try to outrun the WiFi signal in my house.

t. n00bs

...

no, I never was. Whenever I questioned how something worked, I just read up about it and actually learned what it was, or, I just didn't give a fuck about how something worked.

oh thank god I finally caught up with you
son, I'm going to need that core file now.

i mean i also dont like c and unix, but you sure sound like n00bs

That loonix was a decent operating system

I love how macro assembly isn't even brought up now. It's just noobs shitting on C because they don't even know assembler exists. Suck more dicks javashit kids.

tripfag undergrad larper confirmed

I used to think desiccated coconut was produced in factories full of niggers hired to chew it to itty-bitty pieces.

I used to think being a 1337H4X was clicking "Cancel" on the Windows 98 login screen.

I tried to learn BASIC and my first problem appeared when I renamed GORILLA.BAS to GORILLA.COM and it wouldn't run.

i played on a monochrome toshiba 3200 laptop

I shit on C because I "know assembler exists". C is not "muh next level above assembly" it's a bad low level language and a bad high level language. Null-terminated strings are disgusting.

C gets extremely close to assembly, we mixed the two all the time in the early '90s, only using asm where the compiler would fuck up. Today, there are very few places where assembly is needed and they've almost all made their way to libraries. I haven't had to write asembly in a long time.
They're more space-effecient and that's more important for strings which should never be part of a hot loop. Learn to optimize.

What the fuck, it looks comfy

Friend says he never got any mail, probably too embarassed to tell me I'd just sent him some text believing it was the music.

I agree. I code at in c++ at work, but I program in assembly from time to time in my free time. I made a small bare metal demo that boots from a floppy, goes to the protected mode and draws some logos and text, it was a cool excercise. And Yeah, I consider c the next level of macro assembler. You almost always know how your code will translate to assembly which is very helpful. I don't understand these language fights on Holla Forums (bantz and all That, but I feel most people are serious ). If you don't need the absolute best perfomance or you dont care then use some other language, one man can use more than 1 language.

I thought the /bin directory meant "rubbish bin" so I moved all my shit there and then deleted it.

I was scared of trying new shit in Linux/UNIX flavors because I though OSes were as complex as a human body and installing buggy drivers could damage my hardware components.

I also disliked the idea of installing everything from scratch on distros like Archlinux because I though desktops and everything that made the system run were complex things that I needed to know deeply before setting up my own desktop... Like, I though I'd forget to configure or install something important that OSes usually needed to be running in the background that I didn't know about.
Now I know shit can be quite simple and minimal.

For a long while I thought Linux was an operating system.

After looking at some .exe file in notepad, I lost interest in programming.

When I came across the ".shtml" extension, I thought it meant "shitmail". As in, "shit/shitty mail". I would deliberately avoid pages known to load objects with the extension.

I then told my friends of this, and they believed me. We would whisper and snicker "shitmail" to each other as a nonsensical joke.

This was in 3rd grade.

...

When I first started programming and saw iostream.h being included, I got annoyed because I didn't like that they were hiding the real code in the header file.

Fuck off newfag.

My parents would only buy Windows desktops and Mac laptops, so I use to think that all laptops were Macs.

I used to think that computers had some sort of problem-solving algorithm and that programmers just fed it data and a goal.

nice try reddit

...

go on

i can see why you thought that

i couldnt find the self executing computer paper that is "easily readable" in notepad and can also be run normally as a concept demo and has the text animated and printed in console

My brother tricked me into thinking a charger's ac/dc adaptor block was a battery. I was disappointed when I couldn't charge my device while traveling.

I thought windows was a program that you have to run on your eMac. I also couldn't figure out what java was. This was back when there were a lot of web apps programmed in java, and I couldn't run any of them. I was able to play flash games I think.

Was looking through the documents and executables on my Windows XP. Suddenly saw a weird ".exe" program with a crappy and suspicious logo, resembled the looking of a Sci-Fi computer virus. I stared the executable nervously in panic while. Held my breathe, slowly moved the program to the trash can, and emptied it. Felt reliefs, I was just about to click and launch a scary computer virus! I deleted my Realtek audio driver.

And I thought Firefox and lots of other programs came with computer virus to destroy my system, "what the hell on Earth does someone use a symbol of virus for their programs?" I saw them from time to time, and I felt really bad. "bugreport.exe"

I fell for the sudo rm -rf / meme.

Everybody look at this idiot and laugh.
Dump shit I thought would be that air gapping = faraday cage as a noob. They are not the same things.

In my never ending quest to build up a healthy suspicion of authority in my little nephew, he briefly accepted my explanation that these are to make power lines float when it floods.

If he's very young, tell him that Oxford just removed the word "gullible" from their dictionary.

Most dictionaries actually don't, since they're essentially abridged (the english language has over a million words as of 2013, though a lot are related like slow/slower/slowly etc. Still, easily hundreds of thousands of word families). Most dictionaries that do have it list it as a popular misspelling of "guilible."

So close. ASMD shock rifle in UT was actually (allegedly) named as an abbreviation of "and suck my dick."


Same. I thought the way to learn programming would be to open up random .exes and see how they worked.

I thought of something like this for 3D games

I also thought that google only display legal results, but somehow I was just anticipating the future

I thought Linux had no GUI until I installed it.

holy shit i have that same model of laptop somewhere at my parents' house.

I used to think video games were made by writing the name of the game you want on the cd.

I also used to think you could launch any videogame in the world using the start menu's run dialog

I thought linux was a windows program.

I'd just like to interject for a moment. What you're referring to as loonix, is in fact, GUHNOO/loonix, or as I've recently taken to calling it, GUHNOO plus loonix. loonix is not an operating system unto itself, but rather another free component of a fully functioning GUHNOO system made useful by the GUHNOO corelibs, shell utilities and vital system components comprising a full OS as defined by retards.
Many computer users run a modified version of the GUHNOO system every day, without realizing it. Through a peculiar turn of events, the version of GUHNOO which is widely used today is often called "loonix", and many of its users are not aware that it is basically the GUHNOO system, developed by the GUHNOO Project.
There really is a loonix, and these people are using it, but it is just a part of the system they use. loonix is the kernel: the program in the system that allocates the machine's resources to the other programs that you run. The kernel is an essential part of an operating system, but useless by itself; it can only function in the context of a complete operating system. loonix is normally used in combination with the GUHNOO operating system: the whole system is basically GUHNOO with loonix added, or GUHNOO+loonix. All the so-called "loonix" distributions are really distributions of GUHNOO+loonix.