ITT: things to say when you're stuck discussing a movie you haven't scene but you have to pretend you've seen it

I always say, "The cinematography was great!" That always gets people agreeing with me and I never have to explain what makes it great.

If I want to be negative I'll say it was too long, and finish off with, "Some scenes…" which everyone agrees with also and they start talking about a scene they thought was pointless. Apparently all movies have scenes people think shouldn't be in the movie.

The plot didn't develop as I'd predicted, it dragged in places unexpectedly, but picked up at a pleasantly surprising part

What the fuck did you just steal this thread from halfchan? You are worse than reddit.

KYS

ITT: Teaching anons how to make vague shitposts about movies they've never seen before

I call it kino

How would you know unless you were on cuckchan yourself?

Just mention how cromulent it is.

You heavily insult the picture until the asking party has enough of your rambling
If done several times, the party will probably enquire about what you think is competent
And that's where you are going to shaft them up their silly wop ass and recommend them real shit, if they don't want to you just laugh and ask them about their comfort zone/speculate about their affinity to the hobby, basically rile them up until they are morally forced to watch some of your movies

If they are not your friends, a direct negative answer without hsitation will shackle their own confidence and re-evaluate if the movie they saw was actually good at all

I just say "It wasn't inclusive enough; why couldn't the main character be gay/black/trans/moslem/female/retarded."
It's an insufferable cunt test; they agree, they've failed it.

better than blacked and waifu spam, plus it generates a discussion

It works OP because thats just how most Hollywood films are these days. Its the results of directors figuring out how to play it safe and market to the lowest common denominator

Heh, stay wrecked, redditpol

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how in the fuck? you got it right later in that very sentence

Cromulence embiggens our critique.

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I start making jokes about Louis' interracial cuckoldry fetish.
That, or I wait for the inevitable trumpggered crybaby to bitch about the presence of ethnic minorities so I can taunt him.

How about things to say when people start talking about holocaust revisionism, child pornography, or anime, and you have to act like you don't know anything about it

Ask them if they have been at the deep web.

"Literally Reddit"

It's shit.
Not that I think it's shit, I know it is.

convince them that the director plays a background character in every movie