Fuck your template threads, failwizard

Lucas Nelson
Lucas Nelson

I'm sick of the following threads, and the dumbfuck pretend wizards that make them, so I'm just going to answer them all now so for however long those threads are up the stupid fuckwit posting them will have to come up with something more original to spam.

What's it like to have sex?
Wonderful. It's like pizza, even when it's bad it's good, but you have a pressure to perform so it's much more tiring than beating off because you have to think of someone else besides yourself. If you beat off frequently your dick won't be that sensitive and it will actually take you a while to cum. This will wear off after a while.

What's it like having a girlfriend/why don't you have a girfriend?
It's wonderful at first, after a while familiarity breeds contempt, and your usual schedule will be disrupted for long enough that you'll start feeling annoyed towards your partner. The biggest problem I find in relationships is that when I'm in one I have little time for anything else. This passed year I've dumped several girls because I wanted to spend more time playing video games and playing with my dog. Seriously.

I'm a XX year old virgin, should I get a hooker?
No. You're not going to believe me because you're so desperate to get laid, but go look up threads describing that first experience, do you see a single totally positive one? They're all horrible, for a thousand different reasons. If you're over 25, your first time is going to be awkward no matter what. Let me just throw some typical quotes at you "It felt like a waste of money." "I was too nervous and couldn't cum/couldn't get it up" "she looked older the longer I was there." "I just wanted it to be over all of a sudden." "That was it?" "I felt gross/dirty." "She was rushing me." "She tried to boost my confidence but it felt like she was mocking me." "She made me cum in a condom." "I coulda used that money on VIDEO GAMES."

(cont.)

All urls found in this thread:
http://www.YoutubeRepeater.com/watch?v=DYivGrFkgIk&s=24&e=92
Gavin Nelson
Gavin Nelson

But I don't want to be a virgin!
Then go get laid with a "normal" chick.

But I CAN'T!
Hotwheels got laid while he was the fucking admin of wizardchan. You have no fucking excuse.

FUCK YOU I-
NO. FUCKING. EXCUSE.

2D is better than 3D!
You can't touch 2D, 2D was designed by 3D, your waifu will never truly be yours, she will never reciprocate your feelings. You may as well be going to a peepshow where the stripper doesn't take off her clothes and eating your dinner in front of the glass window, that's basically what you're doing.

What if I get a doll?
You mean like Barbie you degenerate faggot? Only fags play with dolls. Again, the doll cannot reciprocate your affections, it's like the hooker thing all over except she never leaves and she just lays there and you have to clean your cum out of her and she gradually rots and naturally you can never tell a soul about her.

M-MUH ARTIFICIAL WOMB-
Doesn't exist yet. You sound like a mentally ill tranny talking about that shit. You can no more impregnate a robot than they can change their chromosomes. Deal with it.

Western women are just whores.
You're wrong, but if that's your belief don't go after western women.

ALL women are whores.
No, SOME are. Only 14% identify as a feminist. Think about that, that means 86% don't even superficially consider themselves feminists. There are plenty of good women out there, you just have to increase your standards.

But I TRIED all that! I listened to PUAs!
Fuck puas, all they teach you is how to put on an act, and if that's not who you really are the act is going to slip eventually. You have to change you, change your way of thinking.

THE PROBLEM IS NOT WITH ME!
Yes it is asswipe, look a your hostility to criticism, you think any woman wants to fuck that? If some woman came stomping towards you with her brow furrowed angry about how all men were unfaithful losers and called you a worthless faggot would you still want to fuck her?

YES!
So you want to fuck a feminist?
What? No! Of course not!
THAT'S WHO THINKS LIKE THAT. THAT'S WHO YOU SOUND LIKE.

Bullshit, I hide my powerlevel just fi-
You post threads on Holla Forums complaining about your inability to get laid. The stench of desperation will prevent you from getting laid.

FINE, how do I change?
Okay first off, if you're a furry, a foot fetishist, zoophile, prefer 2D, fap to futa, traps, trannies, loli or CP, I can't help you. You're too far gone and women won't go near you because they can sense you're unfit for reproduction.

For the two you left, it's simple. Raise your standards, lower your standards, then raise them higher than they were to begin with.

You already hate women, channel that. You have to think of most women as beneath you. Remember Conan's speech about Valeria? That's the mindset. She exists, and every other woman pales in comparison. Create your ideal woman in your mind, physically, mentally, emotionally, create your 10/10 in all respects. Got it? Okay, now here's where you lower your standards. Craiglist, fetlife, okcupid, plenty of fish, tinder. Talk to every girl you halfway find attractive until one agrees to fuck you. These women are specifically looking for dick. The point here is just to get laid. Why? Because you're fucking desperate, and until you get that shit out of your system no good woman will come near you. Just keep asking them, one will eventually say yes. You ARE someone's fetish, I guarantee you. As soon as you're done, start looking for someone higher quality. I'm not saying never see her again, in fact if you can make it a regular thing all the better, because the goal from here is to change your attitude towards women, they're competing for your attention, they've beneath your standards, you can do better, you don't feel any need to impress her because you have pussy. Every time you meet a girl, focus not on her positives but her negatives. Look her over, talk to her, look away, and think "Her boobs suck." "Her skin's kind of shit." "A fucking gauge piercing? Are you serious, whore?" This is going to make you more attractive to them without you having to say any of it.

Then just work your way up the pussy ladder.

Jason King
Jason King

6944388
I feel like that would be itchy.

Samuel Powell
Samuel Powell

Thread theme: http://www.YoutubeRepeater.com/watch?v=DYivGrFkgIk&s=24&e=92

Angel Wood
Angel Wood

I think you're just gay and haven't moved on to cock sucking yet.

Kevin Ross
Kevin Ross

Bump

Carter Bell
Carter Bell

this picture makes Maisie fuckable
Or was she always fuckable?

Luke Sullivan
Luke Sullivan

She still looks like Quasimodo

Evan Martinez
Evan Martinez

I don't disagree with you, but that picture gets the dick hard.

Would bang/10

Isaiah Gomez
Isaiah Gomez

Yoo-hoooo daddy

Kevin Rodriguez
Kevin Rodriguez

It's time, daddy

Camden Williams
Camden Williams

how did you spend Easter sunday, daddy?

Jackson Scott
Jackson Scott

You k now, I don't watch or save gay porn. But if I did, I would consider every time you posted one of these images to be a request to post a bunch of said gay porn.

Dominic Powell
Dominic Powell

STOP IT RIGHT NOW

Cameron Brooks
Cameron Brooks

So how long have you been a faggot? Since you can remember I bet.

Carter Cooper
Carter Cooper

I'm not a homo you fucking faggot

Elijah Green
Elijah Green

Because you're fucking desperate, and until you get that shit out of your system no good woman will come near you.
The funny thing is this is why many women will continually get dogged by these men.
If you go after a high value man, he has many options, and that temptation, well, not many withstand it.
So what's you relationship status OP?

Landon Gray
Landon Gray

let me be among the stars that never rest

Evan Wilson
Evan Wilson

Fuck off
What are you talking about

Dylan Collins
Dylan Collins

are you still trying to build vaginas out of penises?

Nathan Adams
Nathan Adams

what

Jonathan Jackson
Jonathan Jackson

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