Want to kill myself right now

Carter Hughes
Carter Hughes

b

girl i've been dating for a couple weeks went through my pc and found my personal random thoughts notepad file. she equivalently broke up with me and is sharing the contents on her facebook

the embarrassment i am feeling right now is unprecedented. i want to actually kill myself

here are some excerpts from that notepad file

———

if you could make the entire world's population go completely unconscious for 10 minutes, would you fuck sleeping bitches? i would.

went to whack off after picking my nose. now i got a booger on my dick

fuck i jerked my dick dead. i can't tell if they're warts or blisters

before turning my hand upside-down over the trash to dispose of the handful of fingernail and toenail clippings, i like to cup my palm over my nose and take a big ol' whiff. love the smell

i like to use jizz to lube out the second wank. sometimes i can get in a third before it turns into whipped semen

this camera wrist tether is really starting to stink. it's what i've been using over the past several months to tie up my balls during a wank. now it's encrusted with the dried semen of a hundred sweaty whacks. i am returning it to my mom with her camera tomorrow. i hope she doesn't ask any questions

i am just sitting here thinking about how funny it would be to have all penises for fingers and a scrotum growing out of the center of each of my palms. lookin at my hand and giggling

ladies: if milk came out of your vagina instead of your tits, would you vagfeed?

Jason Edwards
Jason Edwards

i flushed the toilet and the water was still brown. god damn

my farts smell really fucking good tonight. if i could convert them from a gas to a solid and pack them into a tight little nugget, i'd totally eat them

the weirdest shit happened to me last night on the shitter. as i went to pull my cock up to rest it on the toilet seat, i noticed that something was not right. MY BALLS WERE FUCKING GONE. srsly, i had NO balls. i didn't even have a sack. nothing except a wrinkled patch of skin where my sack used to be. motherfucking balls were pulled up so deep that there was nothing left. i worked em out, tho. it hurt a bit as i tugged and manipulated, but everything eventually went back to normal (sorta)

dear shart that ruined a pair of underwear this morning: do you think next time you could be so conspicuous as to make me aware of your potential likelihood so that i can at least gage a legitimate probability as to whether or not i should take the chance?

public hair

i wonder what a dutch oven with a plastic drop cloth would be like

can you give yourself aids? like, if you're masturbating and you have a cut on your thumb and the semen gets in it, can you give yourself aids?

after taking a piss, you don't have to wash your hands if you only touched your dick with the back of your knuckle

i am fucking wasted. i had to drive home with one eye open as i looked out for checkpoints. i was just one twitch away from annihilating your grandmother. who gives a fuck, though? the bitch is shitting into a colostomy bag anyway

Jacob White
Jacob White

man, i am so fucking fat. i can't ever fuck the chicks that i really want to. at least i can fill my bellybutton with semen any time i want

* *swipes finger beneath sweaty manboob fold*
::smells like pussy::
*wipes finger on mustache*

i like farting in the shower. i mean, i really like farting in the shower. not only is the smell more unique, you can turn your back to the shower flow and fart while the water trickles over your butthole. i like the sound of it when i do that. it sounds all sputtery and duck-like.

my farts are making my butthole feel really warm when they come out tonight. i like to clinch my butthole really tight afterward to enjoy the warmth while i take in the smell

Gabriel Wright
Gabriel Wright

nice reddit spacing faggot.

kill yourself.

Brody Scott
Brody Scott

Sue the fuck out of her.

Brody Reed
Brody Reed

I keep a notebook of extremist thoughts, so if somebody steals it they get freaked out.

Landon Ramirez
Landon Ramirez

Honestly you're an idiot if you waste your time writing that kind of shit down.

Bentley Martinez
Bentley Martinez

This
Then after that tell her that it was on purpose (if you win the court)

Jonathan Gutierrez
Jonathan Gutierrez

You're literally retarded, and you deserve everything that's happening to you.

Grayson Carter
Grayson Carter

Reddit spacing isn't even real, you fucking newfag.

The term only exists as a pathetic last ditch effort to undermine the credibility of whoever you're losing an argument to.

Noah Lee
Noah Lee

post text file here please

Kayden Nelson
Kayden Nelson

I feel a kindred spirt in you /b/rother
Ive had very similar thoughts in fact being able to stop time and impregnate ever single woman on earth before is one of my nightly fantasies.

You don't have to kill yourself
Just own that you're now the freak of any group you belong to. Enjoy your new presona and stop following convental norms

Nolan Scott
Nolan Scott

fuck off reddit

Eli Lewis
Eli Lewis

Kill yourself fucking normalfag.

Jose Torres
Jose Torres

You've already lost, kiddo.

David Lee
David Lee

*Teleports behind you*
Nothing personell kid

Aaron King
Aaron King

Next time use an encrypted disk image for this stuff like I do

Asher Allen
Asher Allen

Yeah, that sounds nice and all, but OP won't get a job with being seen as freak anywhere he goes. And his fat ass wouldn't even survive two hours in the woods.

Suicide is probably the best option, unless of course he moves to a country which doesn't have English as the native nor second language there.

Camden Gutierrez
Camden Gutierrez

Well now you know not to leave a papertrail, you degenerate trashbag retard.

Landon Cruz
Landon Cruz

She might be posting it on her facebook, but what proof does she have that you actually wrote these things?
Deny everything, claim that you broke up with her and she's now trying to ruin you or something.

i like farting in the shower. i mean, i really like farting in the shower. not only is the smell more unique, you can turn your back to the shower flow and fart while the water trickles over your butthole. i like the sound of it when i do that. it sounds all sputtery and duck-like.
Were you in that "Things you're pretty sure only you do" thread?

Adrian Gomez
Adrian Gomez

it looks like some old man fucked his daughter, she had a kid and the same old dude fucked the kid and that's how you were born.

kill yourself.

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