Sup. I'm going to shoplift again tomorrow. Stay tuned, because this is going to be one big ass haul

d

do dis

A loaf of bread

reroll

rereroll

samefag

rerereroll

Juice of any flavor

irrelevant, why'd you steal the dubs bro?

steal a gummy bear from the bulk section

i did once when i was a kid and i still feel bad

Any cereal but i strongly recommend captain crunch

we got a winner! I'll be looking for the most expensive item in the store. You've done me a favor, since it'll most likely be liquor.

Next person to get dubs gets to dare me (idk if that is the right expression but you get it)
The dare must be something realistic, nothing like 'go turn yourself in' or some shit like that

Shit or piss in a corner of the store

What country you stealing in?

urinate on the item of your theft

I dare you to say hi to a loli

in the store

Record thyself urinating on the item of theft

Semi Automatic assault rifle
Dubs get

both

Niggwr there's no semi auto assault rifles in a supermarket.

You've clearly never been to America.

Uhuh, in the store would be better I agree.

So I look for the most expensive item in the store, then piss on it. It's inbetween 9 and 12pm where I am now, so most likely I will update in approximately 12-14 hours depending on my mood

Shoplift a pair of loli panties, take them home and ejaculate on them

I know I'm a degenerate piece of shit, especially for a European. But if there's one thing I'm not it's a fucking paedophile.
Kiddiefuckers deserve to be burnt at the stake, so fuck off with your disgusting loli requests. I wouldn't fulfill them even if you got quints.

Kill yourself fucking pedo

You failed to get dubs, so I won't kill myself

Shoplift a flower and give it to a loli

actually, being a paedo is fine as long as you don't molest children. So don't molest, and if you do then kill yourself

this tbh fam

OP is agent, all requests are accomplices to theft for participating

Hope you didn't leave EXIF data you dumb faggot

I don't molest children tho

DATA GATHERING THREADS WITH REAL EVIDENCE

I have been noticing a trend on all the boards of Holla Forums, which you should be typing in the address as 8ch.net httpS←-

that there are tons of data gathering threads disguised as "I'm bored so whats all your info".

here are a few examples of data gathering threads. you don't think they are building a profile on you? this is disgusting.

8ch.net/b/res/6582726.html
archive.is/gSVxr

8ch.net/b/res/6613356.html
archive.is/46Vls

8ch.net/b/res/6600926.html
archive.is/hVAx8
it may reveal something about you. to the spooks and shitheads, that's data.

8ch.net/b/res/6598737.html
archive.is/iYfyP

8ch.net/b/res/6631522.html
archive.is/cE3Gw

8ch.net/b/res/6550954.html
archive.is/vMULv

8ch.net/b/res/6583923.html
archive.is/IBzYb

8ch.net/b/res/6584970.html
archive.is/Xvzcf

8ch.net/b/res/6602858.html
archive.is/zXyOh

8ch.net/b/res/6606941.html
archive.is/bmTpC

8ch.net/b/res/6605996.html
archive.is/A0dOY

8ch.net/b/res/6617682.html
archive.is/hhJkg

8ch.net/b/res/6615067.html
archive.is/8SCej

8ch.net/b/res/6644700.html
archive.is/qZglw

now they are switching tactics and resorting to suggesting taking sleeping pills and alchohol. very dangerous!

archive.is/2GIOX

another tactic switch, they are trying to entrap accomplices to theft.
archive.is/UDqif

Big warning here. some anons suggested lying to these threads. DO NOT LIE IN ANY WAY THAT CAN BE USED AGAINST YOU.

do not tell lies that may be dangerous, or about fictional crimes to these bad people even if they are totally fabricated.

keep in mind even lies may hold small pieces of the truth.

also, why are we letting these data miners shit up the board, the whole website?

there is some severe spook bastard level shill spy FISHING going on here. I hope none of you are stupid enough to give them anything

thread archive

archive.is/suGsH
archive.is/rpCmQ

bitch I've been around long since you started posting this shit

I am not asking anyone to confess to anything. In fact, I'm incriminating myself.

Now tell me about all the times you masturbated to child pornography

you are attempting to entrap others by taking requests. you are converting fools into accomplices to theft. this is basically like leaving a bicycle in the hood and waiting for a poor hopeless niggah to steal it and then arresting them. low low tactic.

who do you work for? why waste your time here? why waste your effort? are there not more important things in this plane of existance for you to be doing? is it really that important? are WE really that important?

and just like that the thread is abandoned

Post a pic of your hands
For statistical purposes.

I'm just trying to bring some life to the board.

I've posted clips of myself stealing from nightshops and stores before, but hey, go ahead, ruin everyone's fun.
You are the reason Holla Forums is dying.

Look, I've been stealing since I was 15. I'm well over 20 now. I might as well share it with you guys. It's a form of providing OC to the board.

Me going into a nightshop and running out with a rucksack of wine? Come on, you gotta admit that's kinda funny. And I'll top it off with a recording of when I eventually get caught. How about that?

I hope you go to jail, you puke.

Just stop trying, you data thief. That other guy is right, the only thing you're trying to steal is our data.

m'kay then

still gonna take a bottle of whisky and pee on it tho

also samefag

Nope.

Shoplift me a paddle, because your ass is in for a spanking!

take picture and post it in a new thread

Steal a heart.

I will. But as I said, I will do that tomorrow.

I posted on here plenty of times. I'm sure some of you remember some of my past antics

incontinence pads

Nothing else? i'm about to commit a crime and record it for you guys, yet I get almost no encouragment

Go get him champ. 👌

how do you do it?

If you aren't going to do this and give it to a loli, then give it to an old lady.

take something really overpriced

not sure what country you're in so I guess list some overpriced things and I'll suggest which one to go for

ps. hello us gov't I don't condone stealing but he'll be doing it anyway

Steal a rope and hang yourself

how do you do it? im not interested in stealing myself, just curious.

reroll

reroll 2

reroll 3

reroll 4

I'm sure you'll do great, you sound like a pro.

how can i shoplift without getting caught? are there some insider protips i can get? help a poorfag out. pic related. my legion mask isnt even real

depends on what your stealing. I've noticed in kroger they don't have a lot of cameras. Also Sams Club is pretty good, most of them have no cameras at all.

Sams Club seems like it would be extremely easy to steal from, however they do check your receipt to match the things in your cart, so you'll have to hide it in your clothes.

I stole an air hose fitting from Lowes once. Then there's the few times I've pulled the old accidentally-break-my-slightly-used-item-and-buy-another-from-the-store-and-then-return-it-saying-it-didn't-work routine.

It's actually super easy. Just take stuff and stick 'em in your pockets. It's best if you actually buy something when you leave, so you don't arouse suspicion for walking out empty-handed. That was if the beepers at the door go off you can show them the receipt and claim an error with the thing you already bought. Or if it's a place like Walmart with a Starbucks or a McDonalds built in, you can usually exit through there without passing by the detectors.

You're for sure not gay.

Daily reminder that you are an achoholic, a parasite, and a blight on humanity.
kill yourself

Shop lift a child

thanks guys my life of crime begins soon

bumping to expose data mining

bad advice shills posting retard advice to get anons caught doing stupid shit they shouldn't be doing

go away shills

Why don't you shoplift yourself a fuccing job, nigger?

air max

Why are you posting that you're shoplifting? This shit can be traced back to you Eris. I know a guy who shoplifts, but he never makes it public knowledge

Steal a mop, so you can clean up all the amerifat tears today.

Steal a mop so you can clean up your bad act. 😉

Steal Harrison Ford

Preparation:
Leave your wallet and phone at home, comb your hair and shave. Dress like a decent, well-educated middle class boy with a good upbringing.
So, a clean shirt and casual pants. Put on some cologne.
I make a shopping list. It helps me remember what I need and it looks super legit to others if you walk around with one. Surely no thief would use a shopping list?
I use my backpack to collect all the goods. Most people just look at me and think I'm a regular college student using his backpack to shop. (which isn't entirely untrue, haha)
Before entering the store, walk around the surrounding area and plan an escape route.
An escape route should have a lot of short streets and corners so in case someone is following you, you can quickly shake them off.
So no long streets where they can still spot you when you're out of breath.
I've only been chased twice though and that was years ago, most employees will not chase you but having an escape route planned is:
a. Just common sense
b. Good for courage/confidence inside the store. Being prepared feels good.

Execution:
When you enter the store, take out your shopping list.
Now comes the crucial part. Shoplifting is all about ignoring your dominant impulses.You must repress the urge to look around you like a paranoid peter.
I've seen plenty of people get caught because they behave all jittery and scared,
which of course is a natural way to behave when you're aware that you're taking a risk, and doing something illegal.
But nevertheless. The majority of shoplifters get caught because they're behaving suspiciously. Only a small percentage actually gets caught red handed.
Take the item, look at the price, just take off your backpack, open it, and put it in. ACT LIKE YOU ARE JUST SHOPPING. Act like the rest of the customers.
Repeat this, walk around the store with your shopping list, and act natural. When you want some meat, compare different meats, take some time, but not too much.
When you have your goods, take something small to buy. I bought two sandwiches. They cost me 90 cents. Go to the cash till, and if there are multiple,
seek out the youngest female cashier. Older, experienced ones are more likely to ask you to open your backpack.
I sometimes do a little smalltalk with the girl at the cash till, I actually did so today. It works charms.
Standing there, look around with a bored look and make sure no employee is hurrying towards you. If you're being paranoid,
try to stay cool and make sure the employee hurrying towards you is actually after YOU. If so, walk calmly past the cashier,
head in a hurried pace towards the exit and once you're out, run like a nigger.
This is as much as I can tell you, the rest of the act you will learn from experience. I was very anxious my first few times, I believe I was 15 at the time.

He's in Antwerp.

how d'you know?

steal a life improvement book

Steal moet champagne

Dont worry 'bout it .