LOL

>asking that in LOL thread
baka

I prefer the classics

not even sure if eltonel draws erin anymore, tbh.

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The hell is this retarded shit?

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what the fuck is up with his balls? silicone injections?

christ, he could use them as storage units

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He stores his gay in thete

This is like the third time I've done this shit

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this doesn't answer anything

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It's like a dick pump but for your balls
It doesn't pump it up but rather applies steady suction to get it to expand

I've always wondered, how safe are those, do they get results?
dick pumps, I mean

I don't know I'm not the one crazy enough to do it.
I have heard it's regularly used before porn shoots to make the stars seem bigger than they really are.

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More

there was an ad right here on Holla Forums a while a go

lol
the fact that a faceless, nameless character who gets killed to set the scene is the most compelling character is sad but not unexpected

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>>>Holla Forums888043
It was mentioned in plenty of lol threads before, are you new here?

I've been taking a "break" so to speak from Holla Forums, so I am afraid I was in the same boat as 28097a

this guy was on an r9k zeemaps or something

this is what I deserve for randomly cliking spoiled images on Holla Forums

Don't expect results like you see on those forums or on advertisements, but the things do work for minor gains given time, persistence, and a routine of other 'exercises' like kegels and stretches. There's also a not insignificant risk of fucking your dick's shit up, giving yourself erectile dysfunction, or wasting your time because you give up after a month. These risks are exacerbated if you're retarded and do exercises wrong or push your dick far beyond its limits.

Here's some tips if you want to get into the benis bumping business:
You have a choice between air and water based pumps. Make sure your lifestyle allows you to use what you buy, or you'll get an expensive paperweight. Water pumps are generally easier to use and hide if you're living with other people, especially if you already take really long showers or baths.
Make sure you check the shipping options before you buy. Most people prefer nondescript packaging, but maybe you're the kind of weirdo who wants everyone to know.
Never buy the colored tubes. Always get a clear one so you can check up on your little buddy and make sure he's okay while under pressure, otherwise you'll have to rely on how it feels and a pressure gauge (if included).
You'll be tempted to go overboard the first time you try it. Don't give in. Gradually make your sessions longer and with increased pressure over the course of a month or two.
Don't get too excited after your first session. That extra girth is not going to be there 24 hours from now. If you want your gains to have any permanence, you'll need several months if not a year of consistent use. Don't purchase this shit if you're not in for that type of commitment.
Your gains will still be there several hours after use, though it's different for everybody. Your flaccid girth is probably the most distinctly different from what you had before, so plan for that shit. If your dress code at work has a tucked in shirt or whatever, people (women especially) will notice. For better or worse.
Developing a noticeable bulge on the underside of your cock, just below the head? That's not it getting bigger, it's lymph fluid building up in your dick, and it's not something you want. It means you're pumping too much or under too much pressure. People call that donuting, and if you look up some pictures you'll know why. If you let it get bad enough, that fluid can narrow your urethra making it tough to piss, and hamper blood flow into your penis.
If you get into penis hangers or cock weights or any of that sort of thing, for the love of God, please don't fall asleep with that stuff around your johnson. Putting anything that restricts blood flow around your cock while you sleep is a good way to find yourself without one when you wake up. Ever heard of 'banding'? That's how they castrate cattle. They put a rubber band around its scrotum until it falls off. Don't fuck around with that sort of thing you moron.

Wow. I love video games.

Wait, you're telling me it's not a scam? It actually can make your dick permanently bigger?
A-asking for a friend

Holy shit.
I'm having motivation problems with working out, but I'm getting there. Maybe once I can get into the habit of consistent exercise I will consider this as a viable option. Thank you pump-user. May you lift weights with your cock and swell to Saturn without fear of donuts.

From what I understand, no. The only proven method of dick lengthening is called traction, which stretches your dick and then causes cellular division. It's done over a period of months, but it can apparently add a couple of inches over a year or two.

and what's the method on that one? Sounds painful

Don't we already have a LOL thread?

This is a penis pump thread, user

Are you one of the faggots that's triggered by ROB and keeps shitting that thread up? If so fuck off.

Lol no, traction can give you more skin and it can say, stretch your skin out until someone who was circumsized is "uncircumsized" but just stretching on a dick isn't going to get the underlying structures to grow.

where did they go

lol

Mmmmm. Cry more bitch. Your tasty tears are tremendously delicious. :3c

epic

Don't go to Sadpanda and don't look up Mare Holic, please.

Another one

They sell these devices and give you a guide on how long you should wear it each day and at what tension level. It's like in my Oekaki. It's the only method besides surgery that actually increases dick length. I think it's kind of like those African woman who wear rings around their necks and slowly add more over time or footbinding in China.

YOU CANT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

I only shit those threads up once and that was because of his autistic "it's ok when Nintendo does it" type rant defending paid online in the splatoon thread.

why shouldn't I?

Are you nuts?

Are you a horse?

this post actually made my stomach churn just a little bit

Oh God I just read that
And then looked up penis pumps to see if he was bullshitting
He wasn't
Quality LOL thread

I am doing it right now boi

Do you recommend bath mates?

Why?

zoz

Is this fixable without getting my dick cut? I mean, I'm able to masturbate and ejaculate, so my dick is functional, but something tells me this ain't right.

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Those ponyfags ruined any shock value for horse relate shit

I keep expecting a point where nothing surprises me anymore, that day has yet to come.

Where you faggots find a supply of low test faggots that parade their genitalia online? /leftpol/?

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Why's the bitch crying?

Take pics and I can help

This shit like this is why Holla Forums is also my Holla Forums nowadays

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You phimosis? If so jerk off (The common way of course) it should get better

I'm not a low T communist homo. I'm not posting a single pick of my cock.

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So, user, seeing as you have much experience with this stuff, how big are you now?

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The best I can do is to be able to show the full head, but it's extremely painful. I can only jack off by rubbing my inner foreskin agains my cock.

You think I care if you have low test or not? A cock is a cock, you can't say it's only half. Let's see than big meaty package babyyy!!!

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Dude I'm not posting my dick you fucking degenerate faggot. I hope a pack of Muslims kill you and then rape the corpse.

genetalia isn`t anatomic perfect for everybody, you are not a freak you just normal, now the fact that you feel so insecure about that tells me enough faglord

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Why the fuck aren't you posting your dick.
How the fuck is ANYONE supposed to help you when you don't show a visual representation of what your stupid ass is dealing with?
I swear to god, I hope your dick glues shut.

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I'm not a fag. I'm just scared I might not be able to have a normal relationship with a woman and have a healthy white family with her. Is this too much to ask?

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Fuck you faggot. Don't make me unleash the crabposting lads.

You're the one refusing to send dick pics, if anything, I'm apparently the one "asking" for "toooooo muuuuuuch"

I bet you have fucking crabs and a pound of smegma under those flaps.

Do it faget

I hope you die of GRIDS you cock sucking fag.

I like to think I'm not phased by a lot of shit that goes down here, but reading about penises falling off really puts me over the edge.

Wow, edutainment!

How does this make you feel?

Your path for success is to keep stretching it even if it's painful. *You know like a good stretch kind of painful not my dick is tearing painful** That's your solution, if not, surgery.

Only after I get a taste of that dick cheese, baby boy.

I love this man.

I used to have the same problem, and used to jerk off the same way. You do have phimosis, my large foreskinned brother
You're going to have to start jerking off by pulling your foreskin back and the problem will smooth itself out

Funny how there is a solution, yet many people IRL told me to just get circumcised.

Fuck your crabs

Hello, fellow Spaifag.

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Well, it depends on the severity of your phimosis. I can get the full head out but it hurts just a little bit. If your foreskin is just too strong you might not be able to have even that, and you'll have to get a circumcision anyway. Good luck with your dick, user.

Sup, my dog woke me up, so I'm enjoying some early morning shitposting while the fucker went to sleep again.
Have more txangurros.

T-thanks…

>(((gallego)))

Start masturbating normally and it's a self solving problem.
It's skin, so when you masturbate, just pull it back as far as it'll go each time and it'll stretch eventually. This is literally what a doctor would tell you to do.

Beste aldea, elementua.

¿No tienes bombas que plantar, user? :^)

No, ya he pasado por el baño :^)

Vale Patxi :^).

I fapped to that shit like yesterday you fucking fag.

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