Alright, I did it, but only for the autist's bit.
I have been on the Internet for over twenty years. Everything that I have learned—every thing I have learned, I have learned from memes. (Many people?) have tried to silence me. I have eaten them, and I have learned from them.
You. Uh huh. Think about them f-
[I'm fucking crying right now, man.]
Cry. Suffer.
[Please, someone tell him they're recording this.]
You're recording this? Awesome. That's great. I'm, I'm actually going to need a copy of this, because I'm going to send it to rad—???. I'm going to get a job, you see. I'm going to use you to make my own resume.
[Wait, so your resume is "oh, hey, I shitpost on the Internet for money?"]
…Yes.
??? I can draw laughter and ire from any man, woman, or child. That is my resume. To make you laugh, I think—
Do I need to…
I would like that. Like, a lot. I would love to go home.
[Oh, I'm sorry that I teamkilled you, mate.]
You're not sorry.
[I'm- I'm, I'm not.]
That's because you're incapable of being sorry. That's because you're incapable of being wrong. That's because you're incapable of seeing anything besides your OWN STUPID FACE. And all of you will look at— the (pencil?)—you will look at your own face. As you attempt to insult me, you're looking at yourself, when you're laughing.
You know what's sad? Your so-called bastion of free speech. You banned me. You banned me from—you banned me. You fucking banned me from Holla Forums. Congratulations.
You… You cannot ban… free speech… b-bastion. Oh, SUPREME. How supreme your theatre of exhibitions—
…Bastion—is a farce box… echo chamber… farce.
There is nothing in your lungs but your own (fart?)
[Ever consider suicide?]
I understand. What? Yes, what? I've conquered those feelings every time because it's far more fun to watch YOU.
(Seer…?) the intricate… (intermittent) Disgust me. Disgust me. (???) Alright. You would love to have one thing to attack me with, but you have not—
[Evanescence - Wake Me Up]
in a shower, (???) that I have to wash away. But you, your laughter, your words, they mean nothing. Sleepy. No-nothing. But… nothing. (???)
I won't remem- I won't even remember you in ten minutes from now.
[Oh, well I'll remember you, buddy.]
Yes, you will. Yes, you will. I will be your last… I will be… I will be the shining moment of your life. When your life interacts with mine by tomorrow, I won't even know your name. I won't even remember you; I won't even remember any of this. Mm.
You have nothing to offer me. You have everything to lose. (Despite???) If… I gave to you, pearls to swine… at disgusting creatures. You would love for me to use anything beside words. You would love to be right about—well guess what, guess what, you're wrong. You're very wrong about everything else.
I haven't heard a single thing that you were right about, and if you were right about—
Stating the current situation doesn't address anything that I stated to you. You have nothing. So I would like a copy of my resume, pretty please. I would like my work—I would like my work—I would like compensation for my efforts—I would love—GIVE ME MONEY.
[I think someone's doing it.]
Yeah. You got this recorded? Because I need… (unintelligible) recording my voice to send to some people who will make me some money. Unlike you, who will make… nothing. I would love, love, love to make some money off this—insulting you worms.
[Is he still here?]
Yeah, I'm still here. Yeah. What other kind of shit do I have to say? Come on. Come on. Come on. What else do you have? You have nothing.
Post it in the thread. Post it in the thread, I don't give a fuck. I'll just save it. Give me a resume to send around. I really need one. If—
Yeah, that's right. That's right. We're gonna get me—we're gonna get me some fuckin' money. Do you understand that? You're gonna give me money. That's what you're gonna do. You're gonna make me wealthy. Do you understand me? I'm gonna spend it. I'm gonna spend it. I'm gonna… spend it. On secrets. It's a SECRET. (giving mic a blowjob) …You won't get to know what I'm gonna spend that money on. It's a secret.
I mean, you think that I don't… sit around and shitpost all day on imageboards for the past ten years. Think that I wasn't there on those imageboards with you, you fuckin' idiots?