Vidya quotes

"This is it Jackie, we truly are The Last of Us"

t. Joe from Walking Dead: The Game

Dear Nintendo:

YOUR COCKSUCKING PRODUCT HAS REDUCED ME TO A GIBBERING MAN-APE WHOSE ONLY RESORT TO DEALING WITH THE ALMIGHTY FUCKING GRIEF IT'S BESTOWED UPON ME IS TO SCREAM AND HURT MYSELF.

Seriously, I am jumping up and down and throwing my shit in handfuls at the fucking television in some impotent primal effort to get the thing to work. I have been sitting here trying to enjoy your product - YOUR PRODUCT, YOUR GAME, YOUR CONTRACT BETWEEN DEVELOPER AND CONSUMER THAT THE CONSUMER WILL ENJOY YOUR PRODUCT - but instead the damn thing's been crawling out of the console and taking warm shits in my gaping mouth. Swear to god, you should have just added a little door to the console through which a hand pops out and flips me off, because I am insulted that your QA or testers or whatever brainless shitstove three genes short of a monkey FAGNUT signs your games through thought that a person with more than a single fucking digit IQ could enjoy Story Mode Chapter 7. INSULTED.

WORK WITH ME HERE: The goal's simple enough! Come in first! Hey, that's fine, it's just like playing the grand fucking prix; not a problem! Only deal is your cross-eyed team of tongue-slapping wunderkind decided to give the game every single fucking advantage possible TO THE GAME rather than me.

How in the fuck does Black Shadow - whose car is the heaviest and lamest piece of shit next to the Crazy Bear - suddenly become SO FUCKING GOOD that he can stay in first without using a drop of boost? Huh!? Why!? You never see this shithead anywhere near the top fucking 20 in a normal race. BUT HO HO HO THIS TIME HE'S MEGA-COCK, THE FASTEST FAGGOT IN THE WORLD. 1.21 GIGAWATTS MARTY, LET'S GO BACK TO THE FUCKING FUTURE.
But it's not just Black Shadow with the magical powers, it's the entire fucking lineup of racers! THEY'RE ALL FASTER THAN YOU. AND DON'T REQUIRE ANY BOOST.

But but but I of course, am still driving some piece of shit hamster-powered jalopy who guzzles it's entire energy bar in no less than four fucking boosts! Add to this the entire course just got shitted on by some retarded space tiki volacano god and you've got a course full of hazards that'll drain at least 1/4 of your energy bar JUST BECAUSE IT CAN. WHOOPIE.
HURRR, you say. THAT'S JUST THE CHALLENGE. IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE EASY. Well fuck that noise, you lopsided frankenfaced fuckfurter.

Tell me, please, why does the GAME have to win? Huh? What happens when the game wins and I lose? Is there some huge fucking kegger waiting for it when it gets done? Is there money involved? Or perhaps the motives are more sinister. Maybe the game's family is being held hostage by another game and that game has it's cock in F-Zero's wife's mouth and he's holding a cell phone up to her and F-Zero can hear her pained moans and cries for help and the asshole game then says, "You beat that cock-sucking human, or I'll blow her brains out." I COULD UNDERSTAND THAT. I CAN BE SYMPATHETIC.

It's not any fun if I can't win, you faggots. I want to move on. I want to unlock that piece of shit clown car you have hidden away from me so I can start racing and get pissed off with that too. When your game prevents me from fully enjoying the product I have bought you have failed in your fucking mission to deliver a game. You lose! You break the contract! You contract the gay and fucking DIE DIE DIE.

Sincerely,
Nipple Bandit

KAMEHAMEHA!

- Kenshiro

"Looks like I've really met my DOOM II: Hell On Earth"
-Flynn Taggart

This thread is already going down the drain, post random stuff from your room.

Steel Bolt!?

-Stiff Viper, from Alloy Spring Hardened

"War, war never changes."

- Agent 47 (Splinter Cell: The Metal Age)

"The only thing required of you was to remain in pursuit of that convoy, CJ!"

-Niko Bellic

that's Patrice O'Neal you retard.

A DETONATED EXPLOSIVE?

-C.J. Jenson

"It is I, Mario!" - Bone the Hedgehog (Super Slam Bros 3 Brawlhalla)

"their're engaging in scandalous & foolhardy axtions"
Bruce Wayne (Mass Effect 3)

A detonated explosive is the thinking man's option when it comes to close quarters combat

It's a stone, Luigi.
- The Super Mario

god damn warn a nigger when you're gonna put up a sanic

Stand up and punch god in the face!

-Jackie Chan

Oh come on that one should have been really easy to see coming

"I'm Jewish"
t. Wario

...

"I'M FUCKIN' INVINCIBLE!"

- Unbreakable Patches (Persona 5)

man, K' had to take any job he could till the new KoF came out.

...

"Your move, creep."

-Vinceborg 2050

"Adios! Amigos!"

-Raiden, Raiden IV

"You're sufficently sufficient." - Rotating Hyena

Must accelerate!

-Blue the Speed Rat

―Andrew Ryan

Actual speech:
>Good evening, my friends.
>I hope you are enjoying your New Year's Eve celebration; it has been a year of trials for us all.
>Tonight I wish to remind each of you that Rapture is your city. It was your strength of will that brought you here, and with that strength you shall rebuild.
>And so, Andrew Ryan offers you a toast.
>To Rapture, 1959.
>May it be our finest year.
―Andrew Ryan

Dedotated wam?!

...

"Woof"
-Magnum Bobcat

WHOA HOLD THE FUCK ON!

Doomguy has a name? I've been playing this game for 20 years and I never knew this.

Only on the faggot-ass novels where instead of hellish beasts we have aliens, then an AI, and then a clusterfuck worse than the Doom movie.

"I will return."
~ Sergeant Bill Sweetmeat

Flynn Taggart is a character from the novels based on Doomguy.
B.J. Blazkowicz III is a character from Doom RPG also based on Doomguy but not necessarily the same person.

Doomguy is still Doomguy.

"No, Elizabeth, I am your father"
-Witty Bookman

"Expletive"
-Cunt

And it was confirmed Doomguy was going to have a name, which was either John Blaskowicz, who would be, obviously, a descendant of BJ, to make a connection between Doom and Wolfenstein 3D OR Flynn Taggart. But then the team decided to scrap them both and go for just Doomguy or just No name, and any reference to the character was done so it also adressed the player as well.

I don't fucking care, stop spitting shit (You)'s at me faggot I ain't involved in your crap.

"Relax Jax, I'll fit right in."

What is the nature of homo sapiens?
Is he not merely a wretched and Lilliputian collection of clandestine information?
The situation for speaking has passed, én garde!

t. Vladimir Radu Boleslav of the House of Dragon

In the name of the hammer owned by grabthar, I am going to exact my revenge.

-Spock from Babylon 5

Apologies, but your royal lady is within another mansion

-Frog

it's time to chew ass
- dick kickem

Is he talking about graphic? Because he looks like shit.

"Onii-chan~"
-Moist Serpent

-Cortana (Deus Ex)

Sauce please. Didn't get shit from reverse, so I'm confident this is some nice hot wincest.

Eromanga sensei, it's neither porn nor is it actually incest. I like it though since I have shit taste.

- Cat People, (The Seller Documents)

"My designation is of no consequence."
- Inconsequential

"Restore the Unites States to it's former glory"
- Don Trumpcard

"No generic tsundere, no purchase."
- /r/videogames

I crossed the road to laugh at you.

During this ensuing cycle between the hours of 8pm and 7am, Gehrman, that being my name, will participate in the action of stalking animals with intent to kill

TWELVE SHOTS

"It doesn't matter who we are, what matters is our plan" - Postal dude

I shove pebbles inside my sister's pussy
- Lena Dunham

"Heredity has became brackish, and I shall accommodate chemical cleaning agents."

-The Mail Man

...

- Sam Fisher (Alpha Protocol)

"Onichan daaaaaisuki"
- Nanako, Persona 4

"Looks like I brought DOOM 2 Hell on Earth!"

*roll credits*

- Moonman (Vacuum Burial)